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Tag Archives: Mailman

Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

  1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
  2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
  3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter 

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12 Comments

Posted by on January 13, 2018 in Bacon

 

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National Thank a Mailman Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

“Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!”

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Today, February 4th is National Thank a Mailman Day. Do you hear that pups? That means don’t chase the mailman on this date! Instead of chasing the mailman, today gives you a chance to say thank you. They deliver the mail six days a week regardless of the weather either by postal truck and walking routes. Do you remember the old Pony Express motto? “Neither rain, nor snow, nor death of the night, can keep us from our duty!” This motto is believed to be taken in part from a motto dating back to ancient times! You also hear it this way some times, “Through rain or snow, or sleet or hail, we’ll carry the mail. We will not fail.”

So pets near and far away, go sit by the mailbox today. Maybe bring a bone and give it to the mailman. Tell him thank you.

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

 


 Barks!  Hello friends – how are you doing?  I’m just here chilling out on *my* ottoman.  It’s the perfect place to hang out to watch television.  This date I was watching the cartoon channel.  You gotta love some Scooby Doo – he rocks totally!  Do you like my onesie I’m wearing?  Notice the teddy bear on my butt?  It’s been following me around.  I keep trying to catch him but he’s fast.  The outfit keeps me warm and cuddly but I do have one bad thing to say about it.  Do you know how hard it is to maintain your toughness while barking at the mailman dressed in a cute little onesie with a teddy bear on your butt?  The mailman laughed at me.  Can you believe that friends?  He laughed!  A nice loud chuckle at that.  I’m so going to have to rethink my attire.

 Today, I leave you with something that daddy has found recently while shopping.  All of us here at the Hotel Thompson think that this is one of our favorite Santas.  What do you think?

 
19 Comments

Posted by on December 16, 2016 in Houdini, Jokes with Daddy, Paw Time with Houdini

 

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We Got Mail

Squeals with piggy excitement.  Don’t you just get overly excited when you get mail?  I know this little oinker does.  Heck, I’m on a first snort basis with our mailman.  I think he gets as excited as I do when he sees an envelope made out to this little piggy.  And what was it and who was it from you are asking yourself?

Wait no longer.  I got the world.  Snorts with piggy laughter – okay maybe not the ‘world’… but I did get Australia.  Okay maybe not the entire Australia – how about a snow globe of Australia.  And who was it from?  It was from my bestest Auntie Sharon in the entire world.  You know Auntie Sharon from gentlestitches.  Isn’t she the best and so awesome for thinking of little old me?  I just want to jump in an airplane and go thank her in person… but there’s too many layovers and I might get lost.  Wouldn’t that be something?  Can you see it now in the headlines, “Traveling oinker lost in connections.”

So Auntie Sharon – I’m sending you loads of hogs and snout kisses.  Forgive me okay if I didn’t send you an email right away.  Mom has been under the weather.  It’s hard enough to keep daddy in check these days but we all know when the mommy is down, the house is down.  Much love my sweet friend ❤

 
25 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2016 in Bacon

 

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Surprise Surprise – I Got Scared

There I was last night after dinner, minding my own business, curled up on mom’s lap taking a little siesta in the lap of paradise.  That’s when mom remembered that I got mail.  So she tells daddy to hand it to her so she can open it and share with me.

Oh my piggy heavens – it’s from my Auntie Sharon in Australia.  You know her from her gentlestitches.  She is amazing and such a super duper awesome friend.

So mom opens the envelope and it’s a card.  Mom reads the front and opens it.  Okay that’s when some pig ‘might’ have gotten a little scared, squealed, jumped off mom’s lap and ran down the hall to his room.  I’m just sayin’.  I wasn’t expecting it.  That’s all… I’m not afraid.

So of course, mom had to video tape the after effects.  Gee, thanks mom.

And thanks to my Auntie Sharon – you rock.  I really appreciated the birthday car and mom is digging her boomerang key chain.  Maybe now she won’t lose her keys – snorts.

❤ you Auntie Sharon!

 
27 Comments

Posted by on September 21, 2016 in Bacon

 

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The Great Post Office Drama

    Oh friends.  I’m not sure if your post office is like our post office but you gotta enjoy a great hide and seek game.  Oh wait a minute, you don’t know the whole story of The Great Post Office Drama – snorts.  Pull up a chair, get you a drink and some popcorn.  This is the mystery.

Okay here it goes.  Last Friday, there was a knock on the front door of the Hotel Thompson.  Before dad could answer it – which trust me was only moments – the mail person jumped in their truck and went on down the street.  What?  Was that a run by post office… a run by knocking… a test to see if anyone was home?  Was there a video camera somewhere with people going to jump out to say “Gotcha”?  I mean it was that quick.  Later on when mom came home, she found a piece of paper in the mailbox saying they tried to deliver a package.  Yeah, okay.  On the notice, it said who it was from so mom told me and I got so excited I squealed.  The notice said you could come the next morning, Saturday, to the post office and pick it up.

So all night long, I waited.  I tossed and turned.  All in anticipation of what the package contained.  Saturday morning, I got mom up early and her/dad went to the post office.  Now, our post office for our neighborhood is like 10 miles away which is really odd because we have a post office like 3 miles away.  But that is post office guidelines for you.   Mom/dad get to the post office and guess what.  It’s closed.  Locked down.  No one home.  Nada.  What the heck?  Mom looks at her notice again.  Yep, she’s at the right place.  How’s that for service, huh?

So mom/dad go back home.  Later on in the day, mom just happens to see the postman or should I call her postwoman.  She runs out to meet her waving the slip of paper in her hand.  Mom in so many nice words tells her about how it was ‘attempted to be delivered’ and fusses.  Of course the carrier apologizes and doesn’t have the package today.  Mom then tells her she even went to the post office on the slip she left and guess what – they were closed!  The carrier took the slip and said she would have the substitute deliver it Monday.  Great.  My package will have to wait until Monday.  Drats.  Stomps hooves.  Has a hissy fit.  I don’t wanna wait.  I want it NOW.

So here we are – Post Office 2 and Me -0-.  Monday comes around finally and mom just happens to get off early due to a meeting.  She gets home just in time for the mailman thinking she will have my package.  Guess what – no package.  He knows nothing about it.  This pig can only take so much my friends.  I beg mommy – please go find my package.  We all know it’s out there somewhere…. probably in package purgatory begging to come home to me.  I can almost hear it now – “Find me Bacon”.

So mom/dad jump in the Jeep and go to our post office.  All the way daddy is telling mommy that package is gone like the wind never to be seen again in these parts of the South.  But mom, she has the patience of a saint.  She goes into the post office and explains the dilemma.  What do they say?  “You are at the wrong post office.  You have to go to this post office”.  Which might I add is a bit further.  When mom says the paper said this one.  Are you ready for it….. the post person laughed and said, “Oh, those are old papers.  We changed a while back.”

So mom goes out to the Jeep and hears daddy say it again, “Bye-Bye package”.  Of course by this time mom is determined she will track my package down.  She goes to the second post office and of course, they can’t find it either.  What is this, the great treasure hunt of the south?  She asks for a supervisor, explains the situation and do you know what they told mommy?  When mommy told them about ringing the door bell and then promptly leaving, they said that the carrier will only wait a second or two.  WTH?  This almost made mom lose her mommy mind.  That’s hardly enough time to get off of the sofa.  Then the supervisor went on their great hunt and find mission.  And guess what?  They couldn’t find it either!  Talk about your customer service and don’t get mom started on the attitude everyone was having with their attitudes like mom was just plain crazy.

Now mom is getting a little upset and puts on a thick southern charm.  She asks to speak to the head person in charge.  He comes to the desk and she explains the entire situation again of course this times she is keeping her calm but oozing her forceful southern stand.  They then go on a hunt and find mission.  And guess what?  They come back with the package!  It was on the supervisors desk of all places.  OMP – happy dance – happy dance.  Mom takes the package, squeals in the post office, says thank you and goes out to the Jeep… just waiting for dad’s response.  He’s in shock.

They come home and give me the package!  Now you are probably asking, “Bacon, who is the package from?!”  I’m glad you asked my friends.  It was from my brother Easy across the pond.  What a brother and pal he is.  He sent me this package for my birthday.  And let me tell you something.  Easy you are the best!  We loved it!  My mom/dad laughed so hard when they opened the package.  We loved everything.  Thanks brother!!

Look at these goodies – squeals with piggy delight.  Now the pink pig is a bank.  That way I can save some of my allowance for my future trips here/there in the world.  I even let mommy put STAR (that’s his name) on the new book shelf in the living room.  That way we can make sure he doesn’t wonder off and get hurt.

And then there is Pee and Pool.  Oh.my.piggy.heavens.  Can you belief that?  I ❤ them!  We have all laughed and laughed over them.  Pee and Poo.  You want to take a better look don’t you?  Are they not the funniest duo you have seen in sometime?  You just gotta love them.  Heck mommy even picked them up and hugged them – now *that* was funny!  Oh brother – thank you so very much for thinking of me.  I love everything!!  ❤ Bacon

 

 
20 Comments

Posted by on September 24, 2015 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend.  You know the one that ‘dares’ you to do something and says, “What are you afraid”?  Why did I have to fall for it.  Can you tell me that?  And then if that wasn’t bad enough, Ethel has to then photobomb me and take a picture for her Facebook account.  Dude, I long for the days before all of this social media.  Signed Jack

Dear Jack – WOW.  I see that you are in a predicament my friend.  I don’t even know Ethel dared you to do but the how the heck did you get out of that funky position?  Of course, for payback and before she photobombed you all you had to do was lift that left leg in a strategic position and that would smack that smirk right off of her face – snorts.  You know friend, this just screams for payback.  And make it GOOD.  I mean really GOOD.  And then post it on your Facebook account… or perhaps get Christmas cards made.  Now that sounds like a plan of destruction.  Keep me posted with the results and don’t take any more dares anytime soon okay.


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Dear Bacon – HA!  This will teach my humans.  I ran away from home and they have yet to find me.  What do you think?  Am I the master of disguises or what?  Signed Hide N Seek Master

Dear Hide N Seek Master – You are the boss my friend.  I had to take several looks myself to see which ‘rock’ was you.  And your parents haven’t found you yet.  That’s so awesome.  Just remember to come out in time for dinner okay.


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Dear Bacon – They said I could do and be anything I wanted.  So I decided I wanted to water ski.  And let me tell you something – it is fantastic!  So invigorating.  It makes me feel like I weigh nothing at all.  I highly recommend it my friend.  Signed Weightless

Dear Weightless – You know you have my interest piqued now my friend.  I think I may try this soon… especially since mom/dad are sending me to this awful thing called C.A.M.P.  Stay safe.


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Dear Bacon – Have you ever just had one of those days that you needed a little something to take the edge off?  This was me last weekend.  I just couldn’t take chasing the postman anymore… or tying up and blaming the cat for everything.  I needed a little liquid refreshment in a place where everyone knew my name and it was a fun place.  And hey, this wine is awesome.  Have you ever felt like this?  Signed Stud at the Bar

Dear Stud at the Bar – Oh yes indeed.  There are days that I feel the world is overcoming me… especially this past weekend.  We could have met up my friend.  Perhaps split a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola wine and whined on each other’s shoulders or downfalls in life in general.  I’m sure it would have been a blast.  Call me next time okay.


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Dear Bacon – I’m not sure my son gets the full effect of my look here.  This is my what.do.you.mean.you.want.to.stay.out.all. night.long.partying.look.  Does it work for you?  Do I need to change something for more of an effect?  Any suggestions?  Signed Dad in Charge

Dear Dad in Charge – I think you have the look down pact.  Did you follow it with, “Not while you are living under my roof?” and “While you are living under my roof, you will obey my rules”?  That usually works when my dad uses them on us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe take away his allowance.  That *always* hurts this little oinker where it counts.  Good luck with your son my friend.  Just think of these as his teenage rocky years.


Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  🙂

 

 
7 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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