RSS

Tag Archives: magical

Pineapple and Daddy

20140112-143627.jpg

As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?

Advertisements
 
19 Comments

Posted by on 02/10/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Finally Found in my Magical Backyard

There you go my friends.  My magical backyard – booyah!  Pictures don’t lie, right?  I mean this would no way be photoshopped.  Nope no way.  I couldn’t get a clearer picture than this.  It was that perfect off of my backyard camera.  Yeah that’s it.  Move over friends.  I can’t give you the exact locations because well you know for obvious reasons – snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.20140112-003253.jpg

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 01/27/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Magical Backyard

Oh friends, I’ve been telling you for the longest time that here is magic in my backyard here at the Hotel Thompson.  Frequently when we are in the backyard, we here grunts, groans and things moving in the woods behind us.. And trust me, there is lots of woods behind us.  And did I mention there is also a creek?  See the makings of a perfect storm.  Lots of woods to play and hide in and a drinking creek.  That means there has to be wild things in the woods.  Right?   I mean you know other than Journalist Rocky the Squirrel, there *has* to be other wildlife in my magical backyard.

Well at the end of December, a friend of mom’s put up a camera.  We did tell our friend that if he caught my Bigfoot or mom/dad dancing naked in the moonlight, he couldn’t share those pictures.  You know for obvious reasons… someone might try to take my Bigfoot.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

The camera was left out during the Christmas holidays.  And guess what – we have pictures of wildlife!  Check out these deers… or were they Santa’s deers just getting a snack while Santa was at the Hotel Thompson.  You decide.    

 
30 Comments

Posted by on 01/11/2018 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

20130618-013318.jpgDear Bacon,
What? Don’t hate. You know you want a hat just like mine so you can play outside with it. Right? Signed Scooter

Dear Scooter,

Yeah, sure. I would absolutely LOVE to have a hat like yours to wear outside and make the funny thing on top go around and around Maybe if it was real windy, I could fly. I like the sound of that! So, yes two please my friend 🙂


20130618-013334.jpgDear Bacon,
This is just me telling my friends on how to get more seed and nuts from the humans. Any suggestions for us? Signed Cute as Can Be

Dear Cute as Can Be,

Well you can also take tips from Journalist Rocky the Squirrel. He knocks on our back door frequently asking for a cup of nuts for him and his family. Mom even throws leftover bread out to them to help them out. You know, you do what you have to do. This economy has hit us all! Take care my friends. If you are ever near the Hotel Thompson, knock on the back door. 🙂


20130618-013354.jpg
Dear Bacon,
I’ve read about your adventures in your magical back yard. Now this is what *I* consider a magical back yard… with drink in hand! You’re mom promised you a pool. Make her pay up pal. Signed Simple Puss

Dear Simple Puss,

I like the way you think my friend! My mommy made a lot of promises to get me outside. Although its only happened once so far, I think I need to make her pay up with one of the promises being a pool. Do you think I would be pushing it to be able to lay in a chair with a drink and food like you have?


 

20130618-013414.jpgDear Bacon,
I love to play music. I can bang that keyboard with the best of them. This is me practicing, “Unleashed Melody”. It’s a sad and soothing song to us pooches. Have you ever heard of it? Do you play any musical instruments? Signed Wolfgang Pooch

Dear Wolfgang Pooch,

You do have some talent – way to go my talented young friend. I haven’t heard of that song yet but I will be sure to Google it on the internet and listen to it. I know it has to be amazing! As for this little piglet’s talent. Let me see…. I’m thinking…. mommy says I rip some good ones… but I don’t think she’s referring to a musical instrument for some reason 🙂

I’ll keep thinking about that answer. Take care and maybe we shall see you soon in the Hollywood lights!


20130618-013437.jpg

Dear Bacon,

Don’t even say it. I know – I know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s really funny. Ha Ha. My humans think it’s funny to dress me up as a taco. How would they like it if I dressed them up like a hot dog? BOL (Barking out loud)! Signed TB

Dear TB,

First off, tell me they didn’t name you Taco Bell – TB for short. Now that would be funny. Oh, I’m sorry. But look on the other hand. You are cute. AND, I bet if they took you to a Taco Bell in the drive thru, you would get free food. Free food – that’s good, isn’t it? Be proud little guy. Wear it with pride.

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 08/22/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Texts from Bacon

Oh friends.  Thanks so much for the suggestion of hiding our evil Elf on the Shelf in the litter box.  Houdini captured the little twerk and we bagged and tagged him throwing him in the litter box.  It didn’t work out as we expected.  First off, Hemi didn’t appreciate the trespasser in his quarters.  Then when the little guy got his powers at night time, I paid the price for this entrapment.  How do you ask?  Rolls piggy eyes.  Check out the text below.  I think you can figure out what text comes from who.  I’m now on phone restriction here at the Hotel Thompson.  Anymore suggestions my friends?


 


 

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 12/01/2016 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

No Daddy

 

Over the weekend, mom/dad went Christmas shopping.  They wanted a jump start to the season and wanted to look at stuff before it was all picked over… their words.  I’m not sure what they meant.  So they are hitting the shelves and daddy found a new friend. All mom heard was, “Honey I want”.  When mom turned around she saw this… where was daddy?  There was a muffled voice behind the horn faintly saying how much they wanted to come home with us.  Mom of course said no.  It’s too big.  Put it back.

Well, daddy never gives up.  I think we all know that by now, right friends?  A few minutes later, daddy said, “It has to be smaller right?’  Of course mom has her back to daddy and is kind of half listening and trying to shop.  She mumbles, “Yes”.  That’s when daddy gets a grin on his face and says loudly, “Welcome home my new friend.”

Now mom knows before she even turns around that this is not going to be good.  She slowly turns around and sees daddy with a new friend that is half the size of the original.  She puts on her best mom voice and says, “Why?  Why do you need a pink unicorn with a horn?”

Dad says, “Well it’s magical.  I don’t want him.  My inner child wants him.  He never had a magical unicorn.”

Okay, so how can you say no to that?  Well mom did.  Snorts with piggy laughter.  She explained to daddy that we were shopping for ‘others’ in our lives not for ourselves.  And you know, it’s much more fun to buy for others.  That’s when daddy pulled out his trump card and mentioned a certain someone here in blogville that he bet his inner child was wanting one of these special unicorns.  Now Evil Squirrel – I’m sure you would love said awesome unicorn but could you imagine sending this to you?  Heck, it would probably be better if I delivered it in person.. 🙂 right?

So mom had to explain that difficulties it would be in mailing the said wonderful, amazing, magical unicorn with a special horn and dad said he agreed…. especially when mom said if he put it back and behaved the rest of the time, she would buy him a drink after shopping.  Amazing how fickle my daddy can be.  One promised drink and Evil Squirrels unicorn went out the window.  Sorry about that my evil friend.  My mom is a hard-ass when it comes to shopping.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

 
31 Comments

Posted by on 11/09/2016 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Gotta Know Friends

Go ahead.  You can be truthful with me my friends.  This is a picture that mom took of me playing in my magical backyard.  Do you see it?  Do you think I have too many fat rolls/!  Daddy called me chunky monkey this morning when he was scratching my back.  He even went as far as to say I was – are you ready for this? – pudgy.  What the pig heavens.  Me pudgy?  Surely, he is mistaken, right?  That’s not fat rolls.  That’s gotta be extra hugging material – extra loving – extra heat – extra storage space for my tummy.  Right?

 
35 Comments

Posted by on 07/02/2016 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,