Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter 

 

For Your Amusement – Let’s Snort

Every once in a while, we need a good snort.  Something deep.  Something loud.  Something that almost makes you wet your pants – snorts.  So, for this afternoon’s amusement I thought I would share with you some jokes.  Not just any jokes but PIGGY jokes.  You gotta love that, right?  What else did you expect?  I am a happening oinker.  So buckle up, put your drinks down and read the following humorous jokes submitted to me by some fellow piggy lovers.  Hope you enjoy my friends.  Have a piggy good ole day!

• MOTHER PIG:  What did you learn in school today?
• FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
• SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!  
• THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!
• MOTHER PIG: What?
• THIRD PIGLET: I’m taking a foreign language.

• FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
• SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

• What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur? – A porkasaurus rex!

• What happened to the pig who lost its voice? – It became disgruntled!

• Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read? – “Porks Illustrated!”

 

Bashful Made it Home!

 

Bashful sweet Bashful finally made in home to the Hotel Thompson this weekend.  He came riding in on his skateboard that he got for Christmas at Misaki’s.  He was tired, had jetlag  and had a LOT of explaining to do on his travels back home.  I let him get some sleep but told him we needed answers.

Over breakfast this morning, he told us that he had an awesome time with Misaki and family.  He spoke of fun playing cards, riding his skateboard down some ramps, getting some beer and seeing some sights.  He also said it rained a lot more there than here in south Georgia – snorts.  He has memories that he will never forget and so much fun!

.

And he brought home some gifts. 

A piggy coaster that reads, “The best way to behave is to misbehave”; some seaside rock candy in the star (really delicious!); some Percy Pig candies (I can’t get enough of these!); a wonderful keychain to remind me of my travels and a pink piggy tote bag.

Thank you Misaki so very much for the treats, the kindness of hosting my Bashful  and showing him a great time.  I think he even came home with the cutest little accent!  I am so jealous of it. He has definitely gotten the rock girls heads turning here at the Hotel Thompson with that accent – snorts.

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AND, Bashful came home with a friend.  Misaki said he was “sweet but slightly dim”.  I think they got into great trouble traveling together on the way home.  It could account for his interview with Rolling Stone magazine – snorts. 

May I present to you the  newest member of our rock clan – Benedict Cumberock.

 

 

Southern Home Security System

Life can be hard – really hard.  With as much crime that is going around, I fear for mom/dad in their safety.  I’ve done a LOT of research on this and found the perfect southern home security system.  I saw an advertisement on the internet that was perfect.  And it has to work, right?  I mean everything on the internet is true – snorts.

So, friends fear no more.  This is the perfect plan that was posted.

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place said pair of work boots on your front porch along with a copy of the Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls.  They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all of the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter 

Happy Friday my friends!!  XOXO – Bacon

 

Rolling Stone – WOW

 

 

Really Bashful?  Bashful is MIA from his travel to Misaki’s.  I got my issue of Rolling Stone magazine today (hey, I’m a happening pig that likes to read) and guess who is on the cover?  Bingo – that Bashful of mine.  Apparently while he was in London, he got interviewed.  Shaking my piggy head.

So maybe this tells us where he is now.  Living large with royalty and rock stars?  Bashful, if you are reading this.  You get your rock hiney here right this instant.  You have obligations waiting for you. If you are not home by this weekend, I will send authorities out to get you.