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It Wasn’t the Talking Gecko

So mom went out Saturday to get the mail from the mailbox.  There she was somewhat still in her pajamas and barefooted.  Us animals know because we were all watching her from the front door.  Me, Houdini, Hemi and Mouse Girl all bundled together with the heat from the sun coming through the storm door looking out for our mom.  You know just in case something happened we would all be there for her.

She made it to the mailbox.  We saw.  We were so proud of her.  Then she started back.  That’s when it happened.  Mom squealed higher than me, jumped higher than the purr things and then ran faster than Houdini to the front door.  We didn’t know what happened.  All we heard was hysterics and heavy breathing.  Daddy went outside with his magnifying glass in one hand and mom’s iPhone camera in the other.  All he could make out from mom was on the house in the corner.

He came back in snorting a bit. He asked mom to look at the gazillion pictures he took to see if he got the guy that made her try out for a triathlon.  Much to mom’s amazement, he did.  Not so bad for a guy with limited vision – he got the cute little guy.  I wonder if he wants to come in and help us out when mom is running late for work?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

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12 Comments

Posted by on 06/23/2018 in Bacon

 

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Mom Made a New Friend – Gulps

Okay mom you can leave your new friend at the store okay – gulps.  Mom and dad went to the pet store to get some things for me and my bros here at the Hotel Thompson.  While they were in the store, they came across this guy who was being ‘walked’.  Rolls eyes – really?  He needs to be ‘walked’.  And we all know my mom, she hasn’t met a stranger yet that she won’t talk to.

So mom – with dad in tow – walks up to said stranger and inquires his name.  His name was – are you ready for this? – Chester.  Yeah okay.  So mom did something so outrageous.  She asked if she could touch Chester.  Mom – what in the heck are you thinking??  Chester gave his okay… something about his tongue sending approval.  I don’t want to know.  So while Chester’s head was turned, mom petted him.  He wasn’t greasy or slimy or anything like that.  He felt weird to the touch.

Then mom did the most insane thing.  She told daddy to give her his hand to touch Chester.  Now understand, all of this time dad is standing there and doesn’t have a clue who or what Chester is… I mean would you guess snake with a name like that?  Well dad the ever loving trustworthy guy he is reaches out his hand and touches Chester.  That’s when the guessing game began – what is Chester.  Dad thought he might have been a bearded dragon or another type of lizard.  But bless his heart he didn’t freak out when mom told him it was a snake.

Would you have freaked?  I told mom Chester was off limits here at the Hotel Thompson.  I mean OFF LIMITS!

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 03/21/2018 in Bacon, Shopping with Mom/Dad

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – ssss safety first is what I always hiss.  My human friend sss says the same thing.  You always buckle upsss the important things in your life when you get into the car.  Anipalsssss are no different.  Remember that my friend – ssss safety first.  Signed Mr. Slithers

Dear Mr. Slithers – Gulps – of course.  I agree strongly with you safety first.  That’s why I would *always* let you ride shot gun up front with the human – always.  In fact, I would go as far as saying I would always let you go with the human period.  I’ll just pass on this ride.  I get car sick at times anyway.  Safe travels to you and yours.  Gulps and slowly backs out of this letter.


Dear Bacon – My human must die.  There it is.  Plain and simple.  He put this stupid contraption on me and now I look like a cat.  Really?!  A cat?  That’s as creative as you can get my human?  Just wait until you go to sleep and you will go to sleep sometime.  Signed Jax

Dear Jax – Oh my piggy heavens.  Dude, your owner is very brave to dress you up like that and then to take you out in public and THEN to take your picture.  Clicking my tongue.  Yes you are right.  He must pay tonight.


Dear Bacon – That’s it.  We are ready.  It’s bad enough that we have cats chasing us around the house and inside of the house.  Now when we go out in the field, squirrels are trying to get us too.  This means war.  Bring on the hamster troops.  Cats and squirrels are going down!  Signed Troop End of Destruction

Dear Troop End of Destruction – Pardon me sir but I must ask.  Where do you find those cute little guns and fatigues??  Ok, I know you are trying to look tough but squeals with piggy excitement.  You are just way too cute to be making any havoc out there in the killing fields.  Can’t you solve this war without tragedies?  Come on.  I bet ya’ll can talk this out in a peaceful manner.  Sure  you can!  I have faith.  I can call Dr. Phil for you. I’m sure he can get you on the show.


Dear Bacon – There I was playing with Mr. Spock and all of a sudden his leg started to spontaneously shoot out white stuffing.  I’m not sure what happened but I knew we needed a medic STAT.  That’s where I jumped in with my scrubs and got to work patching up Mr. Spock.  He didn’t feel a thing during the operation.  And look, his leg will be fine in a couple of days.  It was a close call indeed Mr. Spock.  Signed Dr. Kirk

Dr. Kirk – I know that was a tough call my friend.  Thank goodness nothing beamed you up.  That would have been a tight predicament to be in and oh thank goodness you were on call for the surgery.  Can you imagine how Mr. Spock would look if you had to amputate his little leg?  The horror!


Dear Bacon – I have got to quick partying all night with the dogs in the neighborhood.  I’m not sure what people are putting in their commodes anymore.  We all went out for a few drinks and the next thing you know, I woke up like this.  Of course my friends took pictures to blackmail me with in the future.  I’m not sure what happened or what her name is.  I need help.  Really I do.  It was a ruff situation this morning doing the walk of shame.  Signed Fido

Dear Fido – Oh dude.  I would say you need therapy.  You gotta stop drinking the strange stuff in commodes.  You just never know what might be in there.  You don’t want a repeat of this night.  Oh my goodness.  Are you going to call her at least?

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 05/30/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 

   Dear Bacon – Every night I get into my giant bed, cover up and the most amazing thing happens after that.  Can you believe that my humans try to get in bed with me?  What is up with that?  Sometimes, I let them sleep with me – of course on their own side.  While other nights, I try to push them off.  I mean after all, this is my bed.  Signed Kittybed

Dear Kittybed – How dare your humans try to get into your bed.  Do they at least make the bed every day for you?  I mean heck you know you should be pampered like that.  And it is awfully nice of you to let them in your bed every once in a while.  I wouldn’t make a habit of it though – snorts.


  Dear Bacon – I read last week on Paw Time with Houdini that his football exploded all by itself in the living room of the Hotel Thompson.  Oh I can relate to that problem.  See, I was sleeping on the sofa and when I woke up my bed had exploded all over the living room floor.  Honestly, how do we survive these blow ups?  Shaking my head.  It’s hard being a dog.  Signed Bed Blow Up

Dear Bed Blow Up – WOW!  I’m surprised that you survived this blow up my friend.  Look at all of that in your living room.  I would be screaming your name to make sure you were okay.  And perhaps you need to take a sleep study my friend.  If you slept through all of that, you might have a sleeping problem for sure.  Be safe okay.


Dear Bacon – Help.  This barky thing is highly confused here at my crib.  See, that’s me on the top of *my* cat tree.  Yep, you read that right.  CAT tree.  Why pray tale is there a mutt on my CAT tree?  There is the entire floor for him to lay upon.  Get off of my TREE.  Any advice to get him down?  Signed Cats Rule Dogs Drool

Dear Cats Rule Dogs Drool – What the cream cheese is he doing on your tree?  Even I know that a CAT tree is made for purr things and not barky things.  No way!  I guess you could come down and scratch at him to get him off your tree… maybe some well placed kitty nails will make him think twice about knowing who is really in charge of the tree.  Maybe drop a couple of bombs – hey – whatever you need to do my friend… evil snorts.


   Dear Bacon – Rolls doggy eyes.  I hate this situation my friend  You gotta help me.  Okay, I admit that I was caught peeing… on the cat.  But hey the cat started it.  But the cat didn’t get caught – I did.  So I had to sit on the sofa and listen to the ‘talk’ from my humans on how not to pee on the cat.  Really?  Don’t they know that the problems all started with that purr thing being brought into the house?  Signed Dog in Trouble

Dear Dog in Trouble – You poor thing.  I do relate to this look and almost the same position on the couch.  Those darn purr things are always the vain to our existence.  I really can say that having the two here at the Hotel Thompson.  Don’t worry.  I’m sure you will think of an awesome pay back for your beloved purr thing there… call me if you need help.


Dear Bacon – I don’t understand why my humans were all up in a roar.  I was hungry.  I thought I would fix myself a sandwich.  I can do amazing things with my tongue.  I think personally they are just jealous.  They walked in and caught me in action.  Heck, I offered to fix them one too.  Signed Hungry Hungry Lizard

Dear Hungry Hungry Lizard – Oh my piggy heavens.  Shaking my head my friend.  I just don’t understand why your humans didn’t find your gesture overwhelming.  Really.  What’s a little lizard juice on their sandwich?  It’s so unappreciated for sure.

.

.


Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  ♥

 
28 Comments

Posted by on 04/05/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  No.  That’s right No.  Our doorbell rung in the middle of the day.  We weren’t expecting anyone so mom looked out the peep hole.  She didn’t see anyone.  We all sat back down and again the doorbell rung once again.  Mom went to the door, looked out the peep hole and nothing.  So she opened the door… of course keeping the security chain on the door.  Then mom squealed – I’m sure she squealed louder than you.  This is what she saw.  What in the world?  He wanted to borrow a cup of chicken – as if.  Mom told him that she wasn’t the local Kroger and to take a hike.  Have you ever had guests like this wanting to borrow food?  Signed Uninvited Guests

Dear Uninvited Guests – Oh dear piggy heavens have mercy!  Now we all believe in neighborly hospitality here at the Hotel Thompson.  Journalist Rocky the Squirrel often knocks on our back door asking for a cup of nuts.  And once, the neighbor asked to borrow a cup of milk.  But *never* have we had such a guest wanting a cup of chicken.  Did your friend leave?  I mean who you goin’ to call in this circumstance?  Be safe my friend – and keep that door LOCKED.


 Dear Bacon – I scored BIG time for Christmas.  I asked Jolly St. Nick for a cool pair of bunny slippers.  And let me tell you something, he delivered!!  I am jumping all over my crib in bun-bun delight.  Aren’t they the cutest things you have ever seen my friend?  Signed Bunny Times Two

Dear Bunny Times Two – You are *almost* right my sweet dear friend.  Those slippers are *almost* as cute as you.  I think you are pretty darn cute to begin with and YOU make those slippers even cuter.  Wear them with pride and stay warm my little friend!

 


 Dear Bacon – I’m sorry.  I couldn’t wait and had to go.  And I hear my mom tell my dad all of the time, “Better out than in.”  I think this is what she was meaning.  I’m sorry.  But what better way says I’m sorry than to leave my poo in a heart shape, right?  Surely mom wouldn’t be upset over that on your new rug… you know of course add in my pleading don’t-be-made look.  What do you think?  Signed You Gotta Go – You Gotta Go

Dear You Gotta Go – Well dear, my mom says there is no way she would be mad if I made that mistake and left something in a heart shape.  Like you said, sometimes crap happens.  Keep being cute and give mom extra snuggles today – she will forgive you.


 Dear Bacon – You see, we got new neighbors over the weekend.  We heard that she’s a cute little poodle.  We were just trying to take a peak and see.  That’s when our master caught us.  Can you say busted?  Signed Caught in the Act

Dear Caught in the Act – One question my friends.  Did you see her?  Was it worth it?  Why have you not gone over with some biscuits and welcomed her to the hood.  I think that would be a grand gesture from the both of you.  You know, meet her first before anyone else does.  Let me know how it works.


 Dear Bacon –  No one and I mean no one will ever be this cool.  How cool?  Me a mere lizard standing on some good stuff in a posture that just screams, “I’m the lacertilia!”  Ha!  Now, I need to pour me another and get this party started!  Signed Fred

Dear Fred – Well I must say you do know how to party my friend.  And well I have to admit.  I did have to look up the word lacertilia to see what it meant – snorts with piggy laughter.  You are one of few words.  Loved it my friend.  Now remember something important.  Don’t drink and drive.  Stay home to party and keep it at home.  Have a great time and oh – don’t forget my invitation.  But I’ll take some koolaid on ice – no alcohol in mine okay.

.


REMEMBER my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to keep sending me your letters and pictures via my email.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 12/29/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

  Oh my friends.  Every now and then as anipals we get caught with that look.  You know the look of being busted in mid flight – something like being stuck between a rock and hard a place.  You know stuck in the headlights kind of look.  These are all letters this week with that look.  Hope you enjoy.


 Dear Bacon – Help!  I need some solid advice on not getting caught.  I know.  I know.  I can’t help it. My parents went to answer the front door.  I just happened to be sauntering by the kitchen where I smelled something delicious.  I didn’t get busted getting some tasty morsels off the table.  My humans said “this look” is what busted me. What say you?  Can you help me out?  Any tips?  Signed Food Buster

Dear Food Buster – Oh my friend.  I think ALL of us get caught with this look from time to time.  I still say that if the humans didn’t catch you with your paw on the table, how can they incriminate?  I say tell them your stomach rumbled at the time of inquisition.  Yeah, that should work.  No picture – No busted.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it – you should too 🙂

 


 Dear Bacon – There I was safely in the confines of my home snug deep in the ground.  That’s when I heard the biggest commotion.  Two squirrels were fighting and calling each other names that I have *never* heard of right in the middle of broad daylight.  Can you believe that?  Do you ever hear Journalist Rocky the Squirrel get into these kind of confrontations?  Signed In Awe – P.S.  What is a pesky vermin?

Dear In Awe – I say just back down into your home and ignore these fellows.  Apparently they didn’t listen to their parents about respect and fighting.  And Journalist Rocky the Squirrel has never acted with such behavior.  Nothing comes from his treetop home except sweet whistling.  Ask for pesky vermin – don’t you worry about that.  That is something your little cute self is definitely not.  Take care of you!


 Dear Bacon – There I was pondering on my plant, sunning myself, nibbling here and there and trying to blend in with my environment.  I turned around and there was the neighborhood cat.  Oh my lizards – I almost wet myself before going completely still.  I almost became a MEAL – can you believe that?  Thankfully I was blending in or surely that pesky kitty would have taken me home to their master.  Have you ever had a close call?  Signed Feeling Green

Dear Feeling Green – WOW – that was a close call my friend.  I have had a couple of close with calls some big dogs in the neighborhood.  I’m right there with you that they almost made me make water down my leg too.  One can never be too safe.  Be careful my friend!


Dear Bacon – They should tell you before you jump in the water that it is freezing.  Oh my fleas!  What were they thinking?  Bbrrr – It may not be cold outside but jumping in the water first thing in the morning is highly unlikable for me.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wizzle again – barks!  Signed Shrunken

Dear Shrunken – Snorts and oinks my friends.  Never fear.  The feeling is only momentary.  Daddy does it all of the time… then again that could account for why mom/dad don’t have kids.  Never fear though – snorts.


 Dear Bacon – Really?  You think you have strange humans that go out unattended and get in trouble?  Mine don’t need to go out at all to get in trouble.  I hope they do realize that this means war in making me look like an idiot.  I think I will strategically place this beak somewhere on my master when he sleeps tonight… perhaps even pulling on the elastic for a certain gotcha is called for.  What do you think?  Signed Chick

Dear Chick – Oh My Piggy Heavens!  Shakes oinker head.  Yes my friend.  I agree wholeheartedly that you do need some payback on this choice of ‘fun’ from your humans.  What were they thinking?  And yes, a pop of the elastic should go far.  Maybe even follow that up with a little something-something in one of their shoes.  I’m just sayin’.  Stay safe my friend.


 

REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 08/18/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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It Wasn’t the Talking Gecko

So mom went out Saturday to get the mail from the mailbox.  There she was somewhat still in her pajamas and barefooted.  Us animals know because we were all watching her from the front door.  Me, Houdini, Hemi and Mouse Girl all bundled together with the heat from the sun coming through the storm door looking out for our mom.  You know just in case something happened we would all be there for her.

She made it to the mailbox.  We saw.  We were so proud of her.  Then she started back.  That’s when it happened.  Mom squealed higher than me, jumped higher than the purr things and then ran faster than Houdini to the front door.  We didn’t know what happened.  All we heard was hysterics and heavy breathing.  Daddy went outside with his magnifying glass in one hand and mom’s iPhone camera in the other.  All he could make out from mom was on the house in the corner.

He came back in snorting a bit. He asked mom to look at the gazillion pictures he took to see if he got the guy that made her try out for a triathlon.  Much to mom’s amazement, he did.  Not so bad for a guy with limited vision – he got the cute little guy.  I wonder if he wants to come in and help us out when mom is running late for work?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

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26 Comments

Posted by on 06/22/2015 in Bacon

 

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Little Debbie Anyone?

20130724-220412.jpgI don’t think mom’s sweet tooth will be calling any time soon these days – snorts.  Mom and dad went to the market for some Little Debbie’s.  I don’t think this is what she had in mind.

She was just standing there looking at all of the different cakes trying to decide just chatting away about this and that.  Then dad said she almost jumped over the buggy into his arms.  He was completely taken off guard until he looked up and saw this guy looking out at the world.

The next thing he heard was giggles and looked over his shoulder to see a couple of boys laughing like crazy.  Then dad did the most amazingly stupid thing I’ve ever heard him do.  He walked towards the boys with mom saying, “Get em”. 

He walked up to the two lads and what did he do?  He gave them high fives.  Oh daddy.  Why do you go to the market with mom?  You always get in trouble there.  Snorts – XOXO – Bacon

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 08/24/2013 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

20130601-002912.jpgDear Bacon,
I don’t get it. Everyone looks at me and laughs. I don’t understand why. Can you explain it to me? Signed Inca

Dear Inca,
I don’t know why they laugh at you. Maybe they’re jealous of the wonderful mustache look you have going on which I find fascinating. I think you look simply marvelous my friend. Don’t worry about those people that laugh. You keep on being a dapper little chap.

 

20130601-002926.jpgDear Bacon,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie

Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.

 

20130601-002941.jpgDear Bacon,
You know when you get tired, you get tired. The humans just parked the car and the hood was still warm. I was tired and cold. Put all of that together and boom I took a rest. Don’t hate. I was really comfortable. Signed Rose Bud

Dear Rose Bud,
I’m all with you. One can’t determine when one gets tired and cold. I’m all for it. But take this as some kind advice. Don’t let the humans catch you. They may not like it. Take care.

 

20130601-003004.jpgDear Bacon,
I am a world winner on table tennis. It looks really hard but once you get the hang if it, it really is fun. Are you up for a challenge? Signed Darwin

Dear Darwin,

WOW – you got a mean left swing there my friend. I don’t think I could possibly do as well as you. I’m not a very coordinated pig. You are the man!

 

20130617-211412.jpgDear Bacon,

Do you have that one favorite stuffed animal that you just *have* to sleep with at night? This is teddy and he is my stuffed animal. He always goes everywhere I do. Do you have one? Signed Cutsey

Dear Cutsey,

Aren’t you just adorable with your little friend. Yes, I do have one as well. I think we all do at some point in our lives. Mine is a little stuffed black pig. He’s so quishy. I call him Mini Me. I carry him throughout the house. Mommy has an old Mickey Mouse doll that used to travel with her. She has since retired him but he is still at the house. Happy sleeps my friend!

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 07/09/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

My master thinks he is so smart – bark bark.  He put things on the couch in order to make sure “I” wouldn’t get on the couch.  He forgot one thing though.  There is always the back of the couch – HA!  I’m not sure who was more surprised when he found me there – his face was priceless!  Signed One Smart K9

Dear One Smart K9,

That is too funny.  You are really smart.  I don’t know why the humans just don’t cater to us.  They know we are going to figure out the ways – You go pooch!

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20130415-093732.jpgDear Bacon,

Does this look pitiful enough on my face?  This is my plead for, “Can you spare a cup of nuts my friend?”  It seems to work at times.  What do you think?  Signed Nut Collector

Dear Nut Collector,

AAWW that look is precious.  I know if you came to my door, my mom would let you have a cup of nuts… possible a safe dry place as well.  Bashful my pet rock gets that look sometimes when he wants things.  There’s just no way you can say no. 

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Dear Bacon,

A lot of people are scared of me and I can’t understand why.  Don’t I have a likeable face?  I even try to smile more to make myself more personable.  Signed Smiling Liz

Dear Smiling Liz,

Your beautiful my friend.  It’s their loss if they can’t see that inner and outer beauty.  Keep smiling and doing your thing my friend! 

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Dear Bacon,

Do you ever spend time in front of the mirror after you brush your teeth checking yourself out?  I just can’t help it.  This is my time when I practice my smile and winking my eyes.  Signed Vanity the Cat

Dear Vanity the Cat,

You know I do spend some time in front of the mirror.  I think we all need to at times.  I like to personally watch how I move my tail up and down and sideways.  You know cats move their tails with such elegance and I try to practice that to impress the purr things here.  Carry on!

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20130415-093913.jpgDear Bacon,

Trouble in 3, 2 and 1.  The master caught us playing on the bed and thought it was hilarious.  You see, I’m not the one that initiates the trouble in this household – it’s the cat.  Always has been.  Do your cats cause this much trouble at the Hotel Thompson?  Signed Innocent Pooch

Dear Innocent Pooch,

Well, yes they do.  They are definitely the little instigators here at the Hotel Thompson.  They like to wiggle those long tails right in front of me to get my attention and then whine if I pull it.  And that Hemi with his extra digits, he likes to run by me and slap my little pig hiney.  Oh yeah, I can definitely relate to the trouble makers – snort.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on 04/23/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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