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Bacon’s Show and Tell

Thank you so very much my friends for making Bacon’s Show and Tell a great place to be every month.

This month for Bacon’s Show and Tell we are going to highlight what else but something embarrassing on your humans – snorts with piggy laughter!  Has your humans ever did something so embarrassing to each other that to this day it still stands out?  A joke?  Something that was suppose to be serious but turned out hysterical instead?

This month – I’m giving it to my mom for her tale – hope you enjoy it my friends – snorts with evil laughter.

This happened many, many years ago when I was still single and I was living in my first apartment.  After years of throwing rent out of the window, I decided that it was time to invest in buying my first house.  Jim of course said he would help me with the packing – so nice of him.  He came over after work one day and as I boxed items up, I would tell him what was in them so he could tape the box and write on the outside the items enclosed – you know the typical moving fashion.  He would then stack all of the boxes in my living room awaiting to be moved to their new home.  This went on all day long and we finally got everything boxed up – I was so happy!

The day of the move came and one of my girlfriends husbands owned his own company.  He got his staff to come over and move me down the road to my new house.  As they were moving the boxes, I heard snickers and laughs but I didn’t think of it.  As we got to the new house and was unloaded the boxes, I had them place them all in one of my spare bedrooms so I could unpack them at a later time.  Again, here was the snickers and laughter.

Finally my girlfriends husband took me to the side and he was laughing.  He asked me if I had packed the boxes.  I said that I did and that my boyfriend at the time taped them and wrote was in them.  That’s when my girlfriends husband bent over laughing so hard that he farted.  Yep he farted.  What in the world?!  He finally got himself together and said come here.

He took me to the spare bedroom where his workers were standing around laughing and pointing at my boxes.  My ever so helpful boyfriend instead of writing kitchen items, bedroom, bathroom, clothes or dining room had written such things as porn, soft porn, whips, leather, dildo’s, sex toys, lingerie, etc.

 
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Posted by on 04/29/2016 in Bacon, Bacon's Show and Tell

 

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25 Days of Christmas

 
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Posted by on 12/16/2015 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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That Evil Elf on the Shelf

Go ahead, you can admit it.  That little Elf on the Shelf is evil looking.  You just *know* he’s up to trouble.  What?  You don’t know who he is?  Well my friend, you might just be one of the lucky ones during this holiday season.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

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Cute story idea huh?  Sure it is.  But, have you seen this Elf?  Look to the left.  Shivers – he’s kind of a got a look in those eyes that makes you not want to turn your back to him.  And the idea of having him watching ‘over’ your household and reporting back to Santa every night, that’s kind of eerie.  It’s great on one hand when small children are in the home.  They walk the line with this little guy around.  I’m not sure if they are afraid of getting caught being naughty or if they are just plain scared of the psycho Elf.  He kind of reminds me of clowns… and that makes me want to run to my bedroom and hide under my toddler bed.

But I digress.  We have a Elf on the Shelf at the Hotel Thompson. Mom insists on dragging him out of the attic (great place for him all year) for Christmas.  There’s no kids here unless you count us anipals and daddy.  But mom insists. Every Thanksgiving, Elffie comes out and the story book is read.  And the good thing about these elves, you get to name yours.  Don’t ask me why because I believe it has to be a twist on a twist but ours is named Don Juan.  How ironic huh?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m afraid of that little six inch freak and so are the purr things.  We have had our moments of trying to ‘kidnap’ him and finish him off to no avail.  And supposedly Santa Claus has bestowed Christmas magic on him so he moves around the Hotel Thompson.  Yesterday morning, I woke up in my toddler bed and he was sleeping beside me looking at me with that mystic face.  I squealed so loudly that I think I woke up our neighbors.  That little misfit needs to stay out of my room thank you very much.  And, it’s not just me he’s doing stuff with.  Hemi, one of the purr things here, woke up the day before with that little creature asleep on his back.  Hemi hissed to the high heavens and swatted at it with his big paw.

And, our friends – snorts.  They are going through the same thing this time of the year with their ‘magical’ elves.  One of dad’s buddies got up one morning, stumbled to the bathroom and took a shower.  When he looked up, their little voyeur elf was watching him over the shower curtain.  Talk about a psycho moment.

The same household as the shower episode, the next day the man’s wife found their little elf in her lingerie drawer.  WTP (what the pig!)  No wonder people walk on eggshells around the holidays with these little monsters running rampid.

So tell me, do you have a mischievous little elf in your house during the holidays?  Is he getting into trouble or is he behaving (which I would find very strange).  I’m thinking that all of these elves are cloned in the same factory of trouble.  Perhaps us anipals need to ban together and write a letter to the Elf Union.  These guys are trouble – I’m telling you TROUBLE.

 
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Posted by on 12/20/2013 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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