Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What kind of joke is this?  Do you see these mysterious copy dog’s on my bed?  Please – there is only *one* king cat in this family.  End of discussion.  These have got to be imposters! Signed Lord Kitty

Dear Lord Kitty – How dare them try to get in on your royalty.  I say push them off the bed.  Show them who’s boss.  I don’t think it will hurt them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’m really practicing on my please look.  I think I *almost* have it down pact.  What do you think?  Would you give in and give me what I was begging for?  Signed Please Sir

Dear Please Sir – Oh my!  Oliver Twist has nothing on you my friend.

I think you have the “please sir may I have another look” down to a T.  Really I do.  Perhaps, I a mere piggy should take lessons from you.

With that pose, you are certainly going to get anything you beg for!

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Dear Bacon – Just me hanging out with my lady love on a Saturday night watching some television.  The humans think we look funny.  What say you our pal?  Signed Two in Love

Dear Two in Love – I say you two look hopelessly in love with all of your hearts.  You don’t look funny at all.  Maybe the humans are jealous?

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 Dear Bacon – If there is a box, we must fit.  You know how us purr things can be.  Who cares what came in the box, we want to be in the box.  This is me and my brother doing what we do best.  Do you like boxes as much as we do?  Signed Twin Kitties

Dear Twin Kitties – That is adorable my friends.  It really is.  You got you a condo going on right there in that picture – snorts.  Me, I don’t like ‘sleeping’ in boxes but I do love destroying boxes.  Just give me five minutes alone with a box.  That’s all I ask.  I will have the bestest of all times!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – You talk about having your own room.  All 8 of us have to share a room and this is our kitty bunk beds.  It gets kind of crowded and you really can’t stretch out… let alone snuggling up to any kind of a blanket or pillow.  We even heard that the kitties at the Hotel Thompson sleep in a ‘real’ bed.  Is that true??  Signed Eight is Enough

Dear Eight is Enough – WOW – that is a tall kitty bunk bed there.  I would think that stretching out on the floor would be more freedom than confined to that little compartment.  Is it first come, first served or is everyone assigned their ‘bed’?  Make the best out of it my little purr things!  Enjoy the moments in life where you can.  P.S.  Yes the purr things here get to sleep with mom and dad on their select comfort bed.  Rotten aren’t they?  … like I don’t know nothing about being rotten… snort.

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Dear Bacon – I hear the “V” word… you know “vet”.  I tried to hide but the master found me like this.  What do you think I should do next time?  Signed Hide N Seek

Dear Hide N Seek – Well first of all, next time hide under something that you can actually ‘hide’ underneath.  Just because you can’t see your master doesn’t mean your master can’t see you.  Follow me?  But hey on the other hand, that is really a cute picture of your captain quarters – snort – LOL.

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes the best things in life are when we sit back, relax and reflect on life.  You know, don’t sweat the small stuff.  I have a favorite rock that I like to sun myself on and reflect.

It helps me to keep stress free and ponder my life in general.   Signed Pondering Ribbit

Dear Pondering Ribbit – WOW – Well you do look relaxed my green friend.  I tried meditation in my bedroom.  I just couldn’t get my mind to quit focusing on running and eating though.

Perhaps I will try again.  Stay green my friend.

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Dear Bacon – I’m the sheriff here in these parts.  Bark Bark – you think I fit the part?  I may be small but I’m a force to be reckoned with!  Signed Walking Small with a Big Bark

Dear Walking Small with a Big Bark – I think you can possibly get away with it – you are just too cute with that hat on!!

And those big brown eyes, yeah, I would let you arrest me.  Snort.

P.S. I’ve seen some political people on the television.  I think you have a shot just like everyone else!  Be firm but be fair – that should be your motto.

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Dear Bacon – My master is always telling me, “Safety first”.  Every time we go on a road trip, she straps me in.  Other dogs don’t get strapped in.  Signed Wanna be Free

Dear Wanna be Free – If all of the other barky things jumped off a cliff, would you?  If they all got taken to the doggy jail…AKA pound… would you want to go too?  Your human cares for you with all of their heart and doesn’t want anything to happen to you.  I say go with it little man.  Enjoy the extra treatment.  P.S.  I’ll try to hide this picture from my mom.  The next thing I know, she will be buckling Houdini into a carseat like this.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a clown in the circus.  I love working in the circus except for one thing – I don’t like when people squeeze my red nose.  Other than that, it’s a blast.  Signed Pancho the Donkey Clown

Dear Pancho the Donkey Clown – That’s *all* you worry about?  People squeezing your red nose?  Not your clothes, the hat or the make-up.

Just the people squeezing your nose?  Dude, go with it!  Have fun at a job you love and earn your money while you can.

Maybe one day you can move to that donkey retirement community you’ve been looking into.

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Dear Bacon – I’m a happy pooch now.  I had some problems with my teeth and my master took me to the dentist.

I am so happy with the results!  AND he put in a little bling for me.  What do you think?  Signed Smiling Pooch

❤

Dear Smiling Pooch – Well, your smile brought a smile to my face – it must be working.  You do look really happy in that picture.

And, I kind of like the bling.  Your master must really love you my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes in life, we just have to stop and smell the roses.  You know, take each day one day at a time and focus in on the moment.  I’m a lot more relaxed these days doing that.  Signed Goat of Leisure.

❤

Dear Goat of Leisure – Yes my friend.  You do look really relaxed in that floatie.  I think I may have to take some time today to enjoy the moment.  Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts.

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Dear Bacon – We have a game in the house where us purr things get into the boxes that are attached by the string.  The string is attached to the barky thing that pulls us around the house.  It’s really kind of fun.

Maybe you can use this traveling method for your purr things?  Signed Sliding Kitties

❤

Dear Sliding Kitties – Yes I think that would be perfect for the purr things here.  *I* can get in a box and *they* can pull me around the house.

Perhaps they can bow down to me as well – snort.  It does look like a fun way to travel through the house!

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Dear Bacon – It’s cold outside in this weather.  Betsy and I have been knitting and this is what we came up with.  It’s quite the hit on the farm.  It did take us a while to knit it though – it’s hard knitting with your beaks.  What do you think?  Signed Two Cold Chicks

Dear Two Cold Chicks – That is very creative.  I’m kind of digging it.  Do you think you ladies can create something for me?  I would cherish it and wear it forever!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a Himalayan Marmot.  I like to hang out at high elevations.  It helps me to destress and meditate.  I find a happy spot on some rocks, look over my kingdom and focus on being a better marmot.  What makes you feel good little man?  Signed Deep Thoughts

Dear Deep Thoughts – You already have me in deep thoughts with that picture my friend.  I myself don’t like the higher elevations or looking over anything with that height.  I think I would panic.  I do however try to meditate in my room after my dinner.  I focus on happy things over my kingdom at the Hotel Thompson.

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Dear Bacon – There is nothing like laying around after a good meal.  I like to put on my little sweater to keep me warm.  Do you wear clothes?  Signed Petite Sweets

Dear Petite Sweets – That is a real look there my friend.  You do look like your ‘full’.  And, I do like the sweater.  I’m not much of a sweater person myself.  I do wear t-shirts though.  Mom has a couple of pictures.  I’ll have to find them and post them later.

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Dear Bacon – You know that happy feeling you get when the human loves on you, you’re tired from playing and things are right in life?  I have here.  Can you tell?  Signed Happy Pooch

Dear Happy Pooch – I would have never guessed you were happy in that picture my friend – snort.  I think it’s the grin that gives it away.  It looks like you ate the mailman or something and got away with it.  Stay happy my fellow four legged friend.

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Dear Bacon – Be honest with me my friend.  Are my ears big?  I kind of have a complex with them.  They worry me.  The humans don’t say anything but they look at me with that pitiful look in their eyes like something is wrong.  What do you think, be honest.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – I’m a firm believer in loving what God gave you.  God gave me a pot belly.  It’s there.  I can’t help it.  The only thing I can do is love what I got.  When you are happy with yourself – you will be happy pooch.  It shouldn’t matter what others think.  Make the best of what God gave you and go with it.  I know I am!  Hogs and kisses my little buddy.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I need some help.  I experience a lot of road rage when I’m driving these days.  Any suggestions?  Signed Mad Cat

Dear Mad Cat – First of all let’s just start with, what the heck are you thinking?  Step away from the back of the wheel.  That might be the problem in itself.  You should not be driving my furry little animal.  Leave that crazy behavior to the humans.

Step away!

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Dear Bacon – Just to show you, you’re not the only little four legged animal to be surfing the net.  I’m forever doing it myself while the missus sits on the couch behind me watching television.  Man, we can learn a lot from that internet, can’t we?  Signed Dog in Charge

Dear Dog in Charge – You got that right my friend.  The internet is huge.  Some of the things I find are unreal!  I’m glad to see you computer savvy.  I may have to get you to write an article for my blog!

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Dear Bacon – The humans – they are so funny… well they think they are.  The master put this watermelon on my head and then called me a melon head.  I don’t get it.  Do you?  Signed Melon Head

Dear Melon Head – I don’t get the saying but I do get the watermelon.  I love me some watermelon.  They can put it on my little head but it won’t stay there that long.  I will eat that watermelon rind in about 3 minutes flat!

Yum – Yum!

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Dear Bacon – As you know, when we find that comfy spot – we go for it.  This is how the master found me.  But I was good.   Really, I was.  Signed Contortionist Pooch

❤

Dear Contortionist Pooch – WOW – that is quite the pretzel sleep look you got going there.  I’m all about getting into that one position that makes the Sandman come but that takes the top spot.  I don’t really have that kind of flexibility with you know my pot belly and everything.

You actually might have a career in the circus with the way that you can bend.  It kind of makes me hurt just looking at that position.

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Dear Bacon – You know how they say people wear their hearts on their sleeves?  Well, I wear mine on my hind quarters.  What do you think?  Signed Love

Dear Love – I have to admit I snorted and giggled.  That was funny my friend.  That is quite the birthmark you have there.  I think it’s kind of cute.  I like it my friend!  Wear it with pride.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There.  I’m ready for Winter.  Bring it on Mother Nature.  I’m ready to get rid of the heat and welcome the cooler weather.  My scarf is ready and I’m waiting.  Tap.tap.tap.  That’s my paws tapping while I’m waiting.  When is this winter suppose to get here pal?  Signed Scarf Dog

Dear Scarf Dog – Oh my friend.  I agree with you about weather.  And you do look so very sharp in your scarf – you will be ready for it when Mother Nature decides to play nice.  Now, we have had some cooler days and I can tell with my piggy senses that it’s coming.  But winter is still a far piece away.  Autumn will be here September 23.  Winter is not officially here until December December 21.  So we do have some time.  But Autumn does bring cooler weather too.  And this little oinker can’t wait!  Until then, stay cool my friend.

 

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes you just need a sleep buddy to hold on to to keep the nightmares away.  It’s always better knowing someone is there for you.  Do you have a sleep buddy?  Signed Ginger Twins

Dear Ginger Twins – I think that’s a fabulous idea my friends.  Mom and dad go to sleep holding hands.  They say that otters do the same thing so they don’t float away from each other in the water.  You see, lots of anipals do this and I do believe it’s a wonderful way to fall off to sleep knowing someone has your paw.  Sometimes I sleep with mom/dad and get close to them.  Other times, Houdini or Mouse Girl will bunk with me and lay real close.

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Dear Bacon – It’s not bad enough that I have to wear the cone of shame.  Oh no.  I should have known something was up when my human dad wanted to hold me for a second.  I could feel him doing something to my cone of shame but didn’t know what.  That is until I met up with the mirror and saw his creation.  Really dad?  Perhaps I should get you a cone of shame?  Signed Bat Cat

Dear Bat Cat – I have to admit it my friend but that cone of shame is priceless.  How many other purr things do you know that can say their cone of shame was made just for them.  I say wear it with pride and hey give your human daddy some slack.  His creativity could make you ‘the cat’ of the neighborhood.  Give it a test and see what I mean.  Others will be so jealous!

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Dear Bacon – Okay I let the humans sleep in on the weekend.  I didn’t pounce on them and wake them up.  I showed respect and refrained from barking my head off.  But this is where I draw the line.  It is now noon and my bowl is empty.  I’m going to start wasting away soon without my food.  Darn these paws.  If I had fingers, I could get my own food out of the bag and refrigerator.  Humans – WAKE UP.  Signed Hungry Jack

Dear Hungry Jack – WOW – noon huh?  That is total control on your part my friend.  Perhaps pull the humans blankets off of them?  They will wake up quickly with that.  And this picture is priceless for them.  Perhaps email or text it to their magical cell phones.  They wake up pretty quick when those things ring too.  Hope you get fed soon 🙂

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – I am the All Mighty Magical Hare.  That’s right – I’m a magician.  I got tired of the human pulling me out of his hat.  It was dark in there.  Now I do the tricks.  What?  You never saw a magical hare before?  There’s lot of us out there that are famous.  You’ll see.  Signed All Mighty Magical Hare

Dear All Mighty Magical Hare – I say go for it my fuzzy little friend!  Why play second fiddle when you can be the main star.  And with that charming red coat – who could see nothing but a STAR?  There are lots of rabbits out there that are famous – the Trix Rabbit, the Energizer bunny, Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh, Roger Rabbit, Bugs Bunny and now YOU – the All Mighty Magical Hare.  I can see your name in spot lights.  I can see you in sold out theaters.  I can see David Copperfield shaking in his expensive shoes.  That makes me wonder.  Who are you going to pull out of your hat my friend?  Snorts and oinks.

.

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 Dear Bacon – You see nothing here.  Nothing at all.  There is no dog under this pillow.  Nope. Nada.  Walk on my friend.  Nothing to see here at ALL.  Signed Walk the Line

Dear Walk the Line – You got be faster than that my furry friend.  The evidence is now in the picture.  I suggest you shred these pictures and delete them from your computers.  If you can’t see it, it didn’t happen. Remember those words and tread lightly.

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 Dear Bacon –  Who says that the little miniature humans are the only ones to have fun on toys?  Is that a rule set in concrete?  I think not.  I made it not.  When everyone went to bed, I jumped and rode a horse.  It was fast.  It was fun.  It was the time of my life until…. I forgot about the motion sensor camera the humans put in the front room.  Can you say busted little guy?  Signed Caught in Giddy Up

Dear Caught in Giddy Up –  Hey, don’t sweat it my friends.  You can only imagine what that camera catches the humans doing.  I’m just sayin’ do a little research for some blackmail in case they decide to put your picture on their Christmas cards this year.  Snorts – Giddy Up!

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 Dear Bacon – The possibilities are endless.  My brother has the cone of shame.  Sure I feel for him.  Who wouldn’t, right?  But for all of the crap he has given me, does this look give you any enlightenment to the torture fun I’m going to have with him?  Evil barks!  Signed Some Doggie?

Dear Some Doggie –  Oh no!  I’ve heard about you recently my friend.  You are the one that does all of these bad things to doggies and then dogs get blamed for it.  Some Doggie – you are famous.  I gotta admit that your bro looks a little pitiful.  Maybe go a little easy on him… just a little okay.

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 Dear Bacon – My humans forgot to feed me tonight. Something about they were tired and sick.  They went to bed early without a second thought to little me and my needs like FOOD.  That’s okay though.  I’ve been sitting up here watching them sleep for a couple of hours.  I don’t plan on moving until they wake up and see me here.  That should give them plenty of nightmares for the rest of their lives and they should never forget about me again.  What do you think?  Signed Pissed

Dear Pissed –  Oh.my.pigs.  Remind me to *never* piss you off my friend…. or to piss off the purr things here.  They may get instruction from you.  If I woke up to you staring at me from above…. I think I would wet myself right there and then in my piggy bed.  Squeals!

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – This cold.  This awful weather outside.  This snow and ice.  Make.it.go.away.  I’m so ready for Spring.  I go outside to do my business and I just can’t wait to get back inside to the heat.  Help.  Signed Passed Out Frozen

Dear Passed Out Frozen –  Soon my little friend, very soon.  I can almost smell Spring.  I can hear the birds.  I can see the flowers starting to come out to play.  Hang in there little guy – it will be here soon.  I can feel it in my piggy bones!

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Dear Bacon –  I think we got it wrong.  See, we heard two fisherman talking about French kissing.  They were describing it but I don’t think this what they meant.  Do you?  Signed Frenchie

Dear Frenchie –  Okay my friends I had to ask daddy about this one because I had no clue as well.  Daddy said that it may feel like you are swallowing the other one’s head if you don’t do it right.  It’s more tongue action and less swallowing the head of your loved one.  He kind of lost me after that.  It sounded gross.  Then I heard mom laughing at me because I said it was gross.  Rolls piggy eyes.  Humans are so weird.  Just stay with regular kissing – best of luck!

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Dear Bacon –  Our human, he is weird.  He thought it “would be so neat” to put our food in the middle of the pool full of water.  Really human?  This is funny?  Really?  Bacon you gotta help us to get even.  Signed Pissed Off

Dear Pissed Off –  What in the world?!  This means WAR my friends.  Do you hear me – W.A.R.  Here’s what you do.  There’s this fluffy white stuff the humans *have* to have in their litter box they call the bathroom.  Gather it all.  Every single last roll of the fluffy stuff.  Then take it out back in the back yard and throw it in the pool with all of the water.  Evil snorts.  That’ll get them where it hurts.  Trust me on this.

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Dear Bacon –  True love always finds a way.  Whether it is across the world, the next state, the next city or the next stall.  We are firm believers.  Signed Love for Two

Dear Love for Two –  That is so very sweet and special my friend.  As I read it, rain of joyous tears came down my snout.  So sweet – keep it alive my friends.

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Dear Bacon – I’m keeping an eye on my brother.  I just left him something and he should smell it in 3, 2, 1 – Barks with laughter.  Signed SBD

Dear SBD – Oh dear piggy heavens.  Don’t tell me SBD as in Silent But Deadly.  Drops piggy head and shakes it.  There’s always one in the group.  WOW!  It never gets old hearing about farts – snorts.

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Hey there.  Our names are Chill and Squeal.  We are pleased to meet you piggy.  We would love to meet you one day and have some fun. It sounds like we have a lot in common – play, eating, hiding, eating, rolling around, eating, hibernating until Spring, eating.  See, don’t you think?  And don’t worry about Chill’s sharp teeth in his picture.  He doesn’t use them much.  Signed Chill and Squeal

Dear Chill and Squeal – Well don’t ya’ll look like hospitality charm.  I say if you are in the area, check me out.  I’m all for new adventures – especially when eating is involved.  Perhaps we can give the purr things here a run for their money.  Just sayin’.  And what cute little sweaters – adorable!

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Dear Bacon -ssshh – don’t say a word.  We are playing hide and go seek from the purr things.  I think we found *the* spot.  We have been under here for almost two hours and the purr things haven’t even been in the room.  Awesome huh?  Signed Hide and Seek

Dear Hide and Seek –  Playing with the purr things, huh?  First let me commend you on your hiding spot.  It is most excellent indeed.  Secondly let me tell you something about pesky purr things.  They put you up to hide – are you ready for this? – to get ricd of you.  And to think, they succeeded for two hours in not having you around.  My friends, this calls for payback.  Go hide their kitty boxes.  I dare say *that* would be the ultimate pay back in hide and seek.  And maybe that would teach them not to mess with the dogs!.

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 Dear Bacon –  There is nothing to do in the winter weather except crawl up in front of the fireplace, don some glasses and read the great American novel.  Here I am reading about Rin-Tin-Tin.  It’s a great read full of adventures that we just can’t do in these cold months ourselves.  What’s your favorite thing to do in the cold months?  Signed Sir Chomps

Dear Sir Chomps –  Awesome my friend.  Reading is a great way to pass the time and live in another place for a while.  These cold months can be so awful and cold.  My favorite thing in the winter is being wrapped in my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet and dreaming of days of warmth and fun in the Spring.  It’s a great way to stay warm..

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Dear Bacon – You talk about your piggy bed all of the time.  I just wanted to show you mine.  Here I am chilling in the morning after the staff have went to work.  It’s my favorite part of the day.  A great nap followed by a snack following by another nap before the people get home.  You like?  Signed Dog in a Bed

Dear Dog in a Bed –  Hey, you are *MY* kind of friend.  I love me some sleep somewhere comfy and warm.  I say go for it!  And your routine ROCKS!  One can never have too many naps or snacks.

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Dear Bacon – I just had *that* surgery where the aliens came down and kidnapped my best friends if you know what I mean.  The only great thing is they sent me home all drugged… which I highly recommend.  Thank goodness I read about this procedure from when your Houdini had his so I knew what to expect from the alien invasion.  Dude, those little green guys can be vicious can’t they?  Signed I’m a Happy Dog

Dear I’m a Happy Dog –  Happy huh?  I know that’s the medicine talking pal.  Just think in a couple of days, the aliens will have erased all of this pain and discomfort from your mind.  Until then, enjoy the drugs 🙂

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending me your pictures and questions to my email. 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I need help.  My humans came home from their night out and caught me in the act.  I couldn’t help it.  Really.  There was a kitty thingy outside of the window taunting me.  It got me all worked up because the only thing separating us was this window pane and stupid blinds.  I think I took care of the blinds.  Signed Busted

Dear Busted – WOW!  You see my friend the entire thing about trying to get away with something is not messing up the something so that you get caught in the middle of it – like your picture.  I see hours – if not days – of making up with your humans on this one.  And really…. tell me the truth.  Was the cat really worth it?  He’s probably laughing at you now.

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 Dear Bacon – Who says my poop or farts stink?  I fart the rainbow – and I have proof now!  Purrs and laughs at the ‘inside’ joke.  Signed Rainbow Brite

Dear Rainbow Brite –  I’m actually at a loss of words with this one pal.  The proof is in the carpet and the colors are vibrant.  You are touched with the rainbow.  Carry on.

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 Dear Bacon – One of my hatchlings is bigger then the normal and furrier.  I think I may need to call Guinness Book of World Records.  I think I might have the biggest boy on earth.  What do you think?  Signed Tired Mom

Dear Tired Mom – Somehow, and I may be wrong, but I don’t think that is your baby.  I think perhaps if you look closer, you will see *your* baby next to you.  Look to your right.. a little bit more.  Now you see your chick that looks like you?  Now looks at your “big baby”.  See how different he looks?  In fact, I would go as far as to say that he might not chirp but may bark instead.  Go ahead, poke him a little to see.  Test my theory my friend.  I think you’ve been played by a pooch.

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Dear Bacon – It’s so hard to find good help these days.  I hailed a taxi and got this ridiculous slow guy.  Doesn’t he know it’s all about speed?  Dude I hope he charges by the mile and not the time – I would owe a fortune!  Signed Hare

Dear Hare – I hope you packed a lunch, a book and perhaps your cell phone.  You can probably get a lot done by the time you get to your ‘destination’.  Good luck with that and don’t forget to tip.

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 Dear Bacon – Sometimes when the wife gets mad at you, you just know she’s mad.  Take for instance this picture.  We were outside this morning watching the sun came up.  I might have said something stupid.  I’m thinking at least the wife did cause the next thing I new she was telling me to kiss it where the sun doesn’t shine.  Why?  Can you explain women to me?  Signed Paw in Mouth

Dear Paw in Mouth – There are no words or instruction manuals my friend.  As someone smart once told my father, “You can be right in your relationship or you can be happy.  You can’t be both.”  Those my friends are words to live by.  I think you have a job to do now.  🙂

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without your letters and pictures.  Please keep sending them to me 🙂