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Bacon’s Show and Tell

This month we are discussing that one item that you received as a gift that you absolutely HATED.  I mean despised. I mean you wanted to toss your cookies because it was that awful.  Oh my friends – this is going to be a great one that I’m going to let my mom do.  Yes, it’s that good.  Are you ready?  Here we go – tighten your seat belt it’s going to be a bumpy ride – snorts

This happened a long time ago… really long time ago.  Mom and dad were still dating at the time.  Dad thought he would do something very sweet for mom and wanted to buy her a leather jacket.  Awesome huh?  So dad went out and bought mom a leather jacket.  He brought it to her and he was so excited about it. He was so proud of what he had done.  Something so touching – who wouldn’t want a leather jacket.

Mom opened the box and peaked into the box.  That’s when things changed. Mom was excited about getting a leather jacket out of the blue.  She was not so excited about the color.  Daddy had gotten mom a PURPLE leather jacket.  Purple.  There’s nothing wrong with the color purple.  Mom loves that color.  But when she put on the purple leather jacket and looked into the mirror – oh my piggy heavens.  She looked like BARNEY!  Do you remember Barney?  I love you – You love me Barney.  Shakes piggy head.

You can imagine that conversation between mom and dad right there over the purple leather jacket.  Oh, and mom politely declined its acceptance and explained to daddy why.  Of course he understood there and didn’t think about Barney.  He said mom was beautiful in it – no one would ever mistake her for a singing dinosaur.  But, just in case you know mommy still said no.

 
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Posted by on 05/29/2015 in Bacon, Bacon's Show and Tell

 

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Oh Dear Piggy Heavens Above

Oh my friends something has happened.  Something BIG.  Do you hear me – B.I.G.  And it happened to Houdini.  But I’m getting ahead of myself as usual.  Some of you have missed mommy on your blogs, texts or emails.  You see mommy has been sick for a couple of weeks now.  In fact, last Sunday mommy had to go to emergency care.  She has been feeling icky and had this horrendous cough that just wouldn’t go away.  The cough was so bad Sunday that she couldn’t catch her breath and she passed out.  It was early morning and we were all asleep except for her and Houdini.  Fortunately Houdini woke her up by jumping on her and licking her face.  After that, mom and dad went to the emergency care.  After a lot of tests, x-rays, a breathing treatment and an EKG for safety, mom was diagnosed as having severe bronchitis.  She came home that afternoon with lots of medicines and has been resting every since.  We are all taking turns checking on her and nursing her back to health.

 IMG_0261.PNGI tell you all of this so you know where mommy’s head is – sick in a cloud.  Fast forward a couple of nights ago and little Houdini was playing in the front room with mommy watching from the couch.  Let me show you a picture of how cute, small and adorable he is 🙂  You’ll thank me for this picture in a few minutes.  I promise you.

Houdini was playing with his puppy – it’s a stuffed teddy bear.  He was pouncing at it, barking at it and pretty much attacking it like he normally does.  He looks like he is well… how shall I say it… humping it.  There you go – snorts.  Last month mom talked to his vet about the humping part.  The vet assured mom that it really wasn’t that but more of a domineering kind of thing of who is in charge.  Do you see where I’m going with this story?  Hold on – it gets better.

So, there he is in position ‘playing’ with his puppy when all of a sudden he whines and looks at mommy deep afraid.  Well that got mommy off of the sofa in no time flat and also woke me up to look and see what was wrong.  When she looked at Houdini, it looked like he had something stuck to his butt.  Mommy thinking was that maybe he had a little poo stuck back there and couldn’t get it out so she was going to help the little guy out – see what mommy does for us ❤

Well, she walked over and picked the little guy up, flipped him over and son of a nutcracker it wasn’t a piece of poo. She immediately told daddy that Houdini was broken.  Wacks my forehead with my piggy hoof – broken?  Mommy had no clue.  No don’t get me wrong.  My mom is a smart woman but she had no freaking clue of shall we say Houdini’s ‘manly’ parts.  We all started laughing so hard that daddy almost fell off of the sofa.  Poor mom – she was shocked that her little baby is now a man.  But then you should have seen Houdini’s face as well – he was scared.  He didn’t know what was happening.  And daddy was no help because poor mommy was out of it.  There she was holding Houdini with all of his junk exposed, she’s sick and coughing, worried about her broken baby and we were no help.  Daddy finally found his voice and told her what it was.  Mommy’s response?  Priceless I’m telling you.  She said quote, “Well it’s been so long since I’ve seen one.”  OMP (oh my pig)!  And then – OMP – wait for it and remember mom was on medication.  She said, “Oh my goodness.  I have the John Holmes of puppies!”  That’s when I lost it and started snorting and rolling on the floor.

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Daddy never to miss a beat said, “Well what did you expect when you bought him his first leather jacket this past weekend?”  Oh have mercy!  I know this is something so simple – a part of nature if you will – but it was so hilarious with mommy being sick and taking medication.  It was definitely a priceless moment.

And yes, things did finally straighten up if you know what I mean – snorts.  She finally handed Houdini to daddy and told him it was that time for the boy to man talk.  So, daddy tucked Houdini into bed that night and he, me and Hemi got ‘the talk’.  Lord have mercy so that’s what that is – snorts and rolls around laughing.  Have your parents had ‘that’ talk with you yet?  My tummy is hurting from laughing so hard.  Gotta stop now.  Take care my friends!

 
45 Comments

Posted by on 12/11/2014 in Bacon, Hemi, Houdini

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
I hate baths. My humans think I need one every once in a while. I don’t. I mean why? I’ll just get dirty again, right? What can I do to change their minds? Signed On The Edge

Dear On The Edge,
Have you really tried to enjoy one my friend? It looks like your humans went all out and even put bubbles in the water. It even looks like a great tub my friend. I bet the water was even nice and warm. I myself love me a nice long bath. Especially when mom puts treats in the water. Maybe your humans need to try that? Suggest it and see how you feel then.

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Dear Bacon,
All my life, I’ve been slow. Let me change that. I’ve been slower than slow… If that’s even a speed! People have been making jokes about me for years. But nowadays, watch out. I got some wheels and there I zoomed by. They catch me these days riding dirty. Have you ever thought about riding? Signed Slow and Steady

Dear Slow and Steady,
You look good. You really do. Just be safe. Me on a bike? Snort – you have to be kidding. Bikes don’t have doors. I’ve got to protect this work of art. The closest I get to a cycle is moms Smart car. Snort LOL. Ride on my friend.

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Dear Bacon,
I love leather. I love the feel of it against my fur. Can you be honest and tell me if this jacket gives me chicken legs? Signed Biker Chick

Dear Biker CHICK,
So your question is does your leather jacket make you “look” like you have chicken legs? Now that’s a good questions. No, not at all. Your jacket doesn’t give that appearance at all. I think that diamond necklace draws attention to that gorgeous face of yours. Walking off shaking head laughing.

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Dear Bacon,
Hee hee. You’re always talking about those purr things that you love with on your page. I thought I would share a picture of what I do to my purr things. Laughing. I hide around corners until they walk by me. I think my purr thing only has maybe two life’s left. Rolling around laughing. Signed Gotcha

Dear Gotcha,
I have to admit that this is a good one. I will be saving it for future reference… I mean future not to do. Yeah, that’s it. Thanks my friend.

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Dear Bacon,
Have you ever played patty cake? Me and my dears have a great time playing this during the day. It makes the day go by so much faster. We’re getting really good at it. I think that it should be made into an Olympic Game, don’t you? When one of us misses a move, another of our friends jump in to replace them. It’s a hoot! It makes our down season, I mean our life go by so quickly. Signed Reindeer Gamers

Dear Reindeer Gamers,
No. I can’t say that I’ve ever played patty cake. My hooves are kind of oddly shaped. And, I really don’t have that kind of balance with this pot belly if you know what I mean. It gets in the way when I try to ‘stand’. It looks kind of fun though. Perhaps you should video tape it and let it go viral on line at YouTube. Have fun my friends.

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Dear Bacon,
I know you can relate man. You talk about your snout. Heck, look at my snout per say. It’s a sharp situation. No touching noses with this thing my friend. Signed Horny

Dear Horny,
Ouch. You got me on that one. Be safe with that thing my friend.

 
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Posted by on 10/16/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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