I see nothing weird with these cooking instructions, do you my friends? Sounds about accurate to this little oinker – snorts with piggy laughter.
Tag Archives: laugh
Everyone Needs a Good Laugh
Sometimes we just need a good chuckle, a great laugh – something that starts in your belly and makes your snort. With that in mind, let me see if I can make you laugh, snort or pee on yourself just a tad little bit – snorts with piggy laughter.
Are you ready? Okay – here they come. 🙂 ❤
- Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop? He called it “Ham Hocks”.
- Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party.
- Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
- What’s that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head? Didn’t you tell me to put out a stop swine?
- Why did the pig run away from the pig sty? He felt the other pigs were taking him for grunted.
- Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly? They squealed on each other.
- How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pig tales.
- What was the name of the hog who was knighted by Sir Arthur? Sir Lunchalot
- Farmer asked the pigs, “Who raided my vegetable patch?” Piglet says,“Beets me.”
- What is a pigs favorite ballet? Swine Lake
- What do pigs drive? Pig-up trucks.
Dear Bacon – Tongue Edition – Snorts
Dear Bacon – Help! Let alone I had to get a bath. Let alone they wrapped me up like a tight burrito so much so that my tongue hung out. Then the human had to take my picture. Really? I can’t even fight it I’m wrapped so tight. Any thoughts on how to handle this fiasco? Signed Burrito in Training
Dear Burrito in Training – Let’s look at this on a positive note. Your humans love you so much that they (1) bathed you; (2) wrapped you up to dry you so you wouldn’t get sick in this awful cold weather and then (3) took a pic of you. Sounds to me like they are working hard towards next years Christmas cards. You can never plan too far in advance my friend. So this is what you do. Wait for them to go to sleep – you know the snoring, tongue hanging out and drooling from the mouth. Then take their picture to replace yours. Simple as that. Snorts.
Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but us dogs, we can spell. We know exactly what you are spelling when you say V.E.T. I’m not the kind of dog that runs but you spell V.E.T. and I’m gone like the speed of light. Nobody likes those guys at the V.E.T. office – I don’t care how many treats you get. What say you Bacon? Signed G.O.N.E.
Dear G.O.N.E. – I concur. Nobody likes the peeps at the vet’s office. No way! I mean my goodness they think giving you a treat makes up for the violation they give to your captain’s quarters – I don’t think so. I mean heck, at least you can buy me a Mint Julep or something first – snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – This should serve the human for leaving their camera phone on last night. I left them a little something to find on their camera roll. What do you think – do I have it or what? Signed Hot for Hollywood
Dear Hot for Hollywood – Oh absolutely my friend. How could anyone resist that cute little face and tongue? I wish I could be a fly on the wall when your human finds that picture on their camera phone. I bet they laugh and then oohh and aaaww for hours!
Dear Bacon – I don’t get it. I live in the south and every time someone new sees me, they say, “Bless his little heart.” I don’t get it. What does that exactly mean. You live in the south – do you get that often? Signed This is My Happy Face
Dear This is My Happy Face – You see here in the south, that is a term of endearment. Peeps often say that for no apparent reason. I’ve heard peeps tell this to babies, older peeps, anipals and to each other. I don’t think they mean anything by it. Nope not at all. How could they? I look at you and see a masculine little guy that is going somewhere in the world. You just accept that term as a compliment, hold your head up high and march right on into 2016!
Dear Bacon – I was asleep – you know taking one of many naps during the day. I had my little hoodie on for some added heat. My human woke me up and said, “Say Cheese?” All my tummy heard was cheese so I stuck my tongue out. Don’t you know that was the moment my mom decided to snap my pic. Why – tell me why – do these humans do this? Signed Sticking Tongue Out
Dear Sticking Tongue Out – Personally I think sometimes the humans try to catch us off guard in an attempt to get an amusing look from us for their cameras. Every once in a while, I let mom *think* she has me and I do something for her amusement. What can I say? It keeps the humans happy therefore we get more treats. I say play it for all its worth my friend. Work it!
Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤
31 Days of Spook – Edward Mordrake
Thank *YOU* My Friends
Monday night I hit a milestone in my blog. Something that this little oinker thought he would never see.
My friends – this could not have happened without YOU! YOU read my ramblings. Listen to me. Participate with me. YOU make my day. My aim on my blog is just to make people laugh… maybe wee on themselves just a tiny bit. I want to bring happiness to your day. A little laughter. Something that takes away your sorrow and brings a smile to your face. Something that when you see a pig or hear a oink, you think of me… little ole Bacon from the Hotel Thompson.
Without YOU, none of this could happen. I want to bring your happiness but let me tell you my friends. YOU bring me happiness. YOU make me smile. YOU have taught me to overcome the obstacles and there is nothing that can hold this oinker back. If I can dream it, I can become it.
Thank YOU for being my friend and visiting my blog. I ❤ you ALL to the moon and back!
For Your Amusement – Let’s Snort
Every once in a while, we need a good snort. Something deep. Something loud. Something that almost makes you wet your pants – snorts. So, for this afternoon’s amusement I thought I would share with you some jokes. Not just any jokes but PIGGY jokes. You gotta love that, right? What else did you expect? I am a happening oinker. So buckle up, put your drinks down and read the following humorous jokes submitted to me by some fellow piggy lovers. Hope you enjoy my friends. Have a piggy good ole day!
- MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today?
- FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
- SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
- THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!
- MOTHER PIG: What?
- THIRD PIGLET: I’m taking a foreign language.
- FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
- SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
- What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur? – A porkasaurus rex!
- What happened to the pig who lost its voice? – It became disgruntled!
- Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read? – “Porks Illustrated!”
I Snore – Surely You’re Joking
First off, I don’t think this is me. It may look like my snout wrapped around mom’s legs but I have my doubts. All I know is that I was comfortable with mom on the couch watching television. The next morning I wake up and everyone is laughing about the great video daddy took. I was mystified so I watched. Me – snoring? You’ve got to be kidding. Do you think it’s me? Judge for yourself and let me know what you think.
Remember way back when you used to get up to watch the cartoons on Saturday mornings while you’re parents slept? Nah? Shakes piggy head. I don’t remember either – snorts. I just hear mommy and daddy say that a lot around the Hotel Thompson. There’s no cartoons on Saturday mornings anymore. AND, the Cartoon Network doesn’t show any good cartoons anymore. Am I right?
So, in honor of the old Saturday morning cartoons – I’m going to attempt to make you chuckle and smile with some jokes. Are you ready for this? Here we go:
I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, “How do you like that? Pay toilets.”
What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyle
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Thoughtusawus.
Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, “Forget it, those things taste funny.”
PLOL (Pig Laughing out Loud). I hope these gave you a chuckle. I know they did me.