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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Who says dogs can’t have game.  I’ve been watching NBA Championships on television.  Those humans have two legs and do some amazing things with the balls.  I figure I have four legs.  I bet I could do some amazing things myself.  And instead of ‘dunking’ the ball, I can’t jump on the rim.  So hey guys – I’m free here – let me assist.  Heck with this kind of ability, maybe I should start a team for us anipals.  What do you think?  Signed Lebron the Lab

Dear Lebron the Lab – Oh pal!  Now that is some kind of assist.  Is that in the play book?  Can you stand up there like that?  I wonder?  But hey, I think starting your own anipal team would be awesome.  Heck, I would love to be on your team.  I may be short to the ground but this snout is a powerful weapon to be crossed.  You go – and be careful okay.


Dear Bacon – My humans took me to Disney World with them.  OMD – I was in doggy heaven!  My favorite idol is Pluto.  How could you not like him?  He is like the bestest happening dog ever!  When my humans set me up to meet my idol in person and take my picture, I so could not help it but to smile.  Can you see it?  I was so deliriously happy!  Can you tell?  Signed Grinning Ear to Ear

Dear Ginning Ear to Ear – Oh WOW my friend.  YES – YES and YES.  I can tell that you are so happy in meeting Pluto.  I know that it had to make your day.  In fact, I would love to meet Miss Piggy one day.  My mom is still working on a meet up.  Hopefully one day my day will come too just like yours  Keep on smiling!

.


Dear Bacon – What?  There’s nothing to see here.  You can move right along.  You see I was playing with my brother Bert.  Bert has a potty mouth.  He really does.  He called me a bad name.  I had to take up for myself.  The humans were in the backyard.  When they came in, I was the one that got in trouble.  How unfair is that?  He started it.  He really did.  Signed Ernie

Dear Ernie – Shaking my piggy head.  You know my friend, if Bert called you a name and I’m not saying he did or didn’t, sometimes one has to be the bigger anipal and move on.  You see there’s an old saying, “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  Sure words can hurt but that’s just what they are – words.  And having your humans come in and seeing you bouncing on top of your brother, well that might just be interpreted as being a bully.  I’m just saying.  Think smarter.  If Bert has a potty mouth, you just need to have that come out at the right moment when your humans can hear… maybe record him.  Then again, I’ve always heard washing one mouth’s out with soap will take care of that potty mouth.  Snorts with piggy laughter.


Dear Bacon – My humans cut back on my treat budget.  Now this is just unfair and so wrong on so many levels.  So when the humans went to work, I researched their bank account.  Who says us dogs can’t be private investigators.  Let me tell you one thing.  If they are going to cut my budget, they should think about their own food budget.  OMD!  I can’t begin to tell you how many debit charges I saw for food and treats for humans.  My budget was only used one time last month for a measly $12.59.  There treat budget was well over $600.00!  I say it’s time for fair play.  Signed P.I. Treats

Dear P.I. Treats – Dude, you have skills!  I’m going to have to send you a private email to find out how you got into your humans banking accounts.  I could make so many changes to my humans spending if I had access.  I say it’s time for you to have a sit down talk with your humans and tell them what you found.  It is way past time for equal food treats.


Dear Bacon – Help Me.  My master thinks he is so funny in putting these stupid glasses on my face.  I will be the laughing pooch of the neighborhood if this gets out.  Shaking my dog head.  The insensitivity of master is overbearing.  What can I do?  Signed Silly Eyes

Dear Silly Eyes – I think these silly eyes require massive payback my friend.  I can think of several places you can maneuver them on your master’s body and take pictures.  Heck, one of those pictures might even wind up on your families Christmas cards.  Now who will be on the butt end of that joke then?

Whatever you decide to do, please keep us posted.  And when I first saw your picture.  I wasn’t laughing at you.  I was laughing with you.  Yeah that’s it.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

.


REMEMBER MY FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ♥

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14 Comments

Posted by on 06/07/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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National Compliment Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

“Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!”

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January 24th, is commemorated as National Compliment Day every year. It is a very special day and celebrated in most parts of the world apart from the USA. This day represents a positive theme – a positive tone in a positive atmosphere – everywhere you are whether it be at home, the grocery market, work or that place the humans feel to punish themselves by what they call “working out”.

Compliments – compliments – compliments – that is what we most do today. Have you ever noticed how someone just brightens up at a compliment, even a complete stranger? Do you notice how much harder you work when you get a compliment? So today, we shall compliment our little hearts out.

So here are some suggestions that can help you today on your National Compliment Day.

Compliment that human that is consistently working out in their hamster ball.

Compliment that human that really has touched you in some point of your life in a good way.

Compliment your spouse. Sometimes you humans don’t express your feelings enough to each other. Maybe if you compliment them, they’ll give you more nuts for the winter.

By all means, compliment your pets. They’re always there for you no matter what, even when you come home upset. They just want to love on you.  They know no hate.

Compliment the guy that cuts you off in traffic this morning. Maybe he won’t hear you but you can smile and wave – with your entire hand not your middle finger – HA!. Maybe instead of uttering fowl language under your breath, think to yourself, “Isn’t he a nice guy for getting in front of me blocking me from any danger.”

Compliment your mother and father – if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be here. Heck, have your spouse compliment them too. If it wasn’t for them, your spouse wouldn’t have you.

Compliment your pups… I mean children. I’m sure they do something else besides being destructive.

Compliment your teacher. Compliment your bus driver or your chauffeur.

While you’re at it – compliment nature and all of its little creatures, like me 🙂 Hey, you can even throw us some extra feed outside, we won’t say no.

You get the drift. You give out compliments and you give a positive sense of well being. You make someone feel great with just a few words. We all know that words can be so destructive. Let’s turn it around today.

I, Journalist Rocky the Squirrel, challenge you. I challenge you to give out a minimum of FIVE compliments today. I bet you can do more but FIVE is a good start. Are you going to take the challenge?

 
 

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Deep Thought Thursday

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Here you go my friends.  Deep Thought Thursday.  Which pill would you take?

The red pill gives you the ability to be fluent in every spoken language possible.

The blue pill gives you the ability to master every musical instrument in the world.

What choice would you make and why?  This really is a hard choice.  To be able to talk to everyone in the world in their language or play all musical instruments which in itself is a form of communication?

I’ve pondered this for a couple of days.  My choice – I believe it would be the blue pill – to be able to play every musical instrument.  Can you imagine the music you could make?  The people you could touch – the intensity of the feel of music through your body?  The hours of entertainment – the variety of the instruments you could play?

You?

 
41 Comments

Posted by on 09/18/2014 in Bacon

 

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For Your Amusement – Let’s Snort

Every once in a while, we need a good snort.  Something deep.  Something loud.  Something that almost makes you wet your pants – snorts.  So, for this afternoon’s amusement I thought I would share with you some jokes.  Not just any jokes but PIGGY jokes.  You gotta love that, right?  What else did you expect?  I am a happening oinker.  So buckle up, put your drinks down and read the following humorous jokes submitted to me by some fellow piggy lovers.  Hope you enjoy my friends.  Have a piggy good ole day!

  • MOTHER PIG:  What did you learn in school today?
  • FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
  • SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!  
  • THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!
  • MOTHER PIG: What?
  • THIRD PIGLET: I’m taking a foreign language.
  • FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
  • SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

  • What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur? – A porkasaurus rex!
  • What happened to the pig who lost its voice? – It became disgruntled!
  • Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read? – “Porks Illustrated!”
 
25 Comments

Posted by on 07/14/2014 in Bacon

 

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New Maxwell Commercial

You gotta love my pal Maxwell from the Geico commercials. He’s got a new commercial out now that we all saw here at the Hotel Thompson.  It’s a riot.  That Maxwell – he speaks my language… pig latin – snorts.  I tell you one day when I grow up, I want to be as suave as him.  Have you seen this commercial?  What do you think?

 
36 Comments

Posted by on 06/10/2014 in Bacon

 

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Tag Game – YAY Let’s PLAY!

My barky friend Easy over at http://easyweimaraner.wordpress.com/ ‘tagged’ me on the Tag Game.  (Thanks my fellow four legged friend – high five paw/hoove and snout kisses).  The tag game is kind of like getting an award without getting an award.  I know it sounds complicated but it’s really not.  Here’s the formula that I came up with:

           No award = answer questions + ask questions = tag more peeps. 

Make sense now?  pig snorts – I always work better with a visual – 🙂

So here are the rules to the Tag Game –

  1. Post these rules.  √ DONE
  2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random facts about you.  √ See Below
  3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s photo. √ See Below
  4. Create 11 new questions and tag new people to answer them. √ See Below
  5. Go to their blog and let them know they’ve been ‘tagged’. √

Random Facts About “ME”… the amazing Bacon 🙂

  1. I’m not really that ‘big’ like you see in the picture above.  The couch sits low and the angle of the picture makes it look like I’m ginormous… but I’m not.  I weigh a healthy 45 pounds which is really small compared to a regular pig that gets upwards 300 pounds! 
  2. My tail gives me away every.single.time.  It’s such a magical item – my tail.  When I’m happy, I wag it like no tomorrow.  This happens when I eat, when mom calls my name or when I’m playing.  When it doesn’t wag and is at half staff – snort – I’m not too happy.  When it is at full staff, watch out because I’m fixing to potty – double snort.
  3. I speak human and mom speaks pig.  I know what she means when she tells me to go to my room, get ready for bed, get on the couch, come take a bath, etc.  She’s my mom – 🙂 I speak mom 100%
  4. Do you know how purr things and barky things mark items and get happy by rolling around on the floors?  I do the same thing.  Mom *always* laughs at me when I do that.  She thinks it’s a hoot.
  5. Just like regular ‘kids’, I have chores.  I have to help clean my room and I have to help bring my laundry to the laundry room.  And, I have to take care of Bashful – that’s almost a full time job!
  6. I eat Cheerios for breakfast with my piggy chow every morning.  It keeps me heart smart – what?  A pig has to watch his heart and cholesterol too.
  7. I eat a mixed salad every night for dinner with my piggy chow.  See, I eat healthy to maintain these handsome figure.
  8. One of my favorite all time snacks is popcorn.  Just the buttery smell of it, the sizzle of the kernels in the oil on the stove and the ‘pop-pop-pop’ sound gets me running from my bedroom all the way to the kitchen at the Hotel Thompson.  Mom always shares with me 🙂
  9. One of my favorite television shows to watch on television is called Wipeout.  I LOVE this show.  I jump on the couch, snuggle in with mom and watch the entire hour. It’s hilarious!  I highly recommend it.  I think they need to have a celebrity Wipeout.  That would be so much fun!  Oh and by the way, it helps that I have a MAJOR piggy crush on Jill Wagner – hubba hubba
  10. My Netflix account has a lot of ‘Who Done It”  shows in the que.  I love watching them as well on the ID channel (Investigative Discovery).  It’s kind of like the old game Clue.  I like to try to figure out who the culprit is before the end of the show.  Sometimes I do – sometimes I don’t.
  11. My favorite gameshow to watch on television is a tie between Jeopardy with Alex Trebek and Family Feud with Steve Harvey.  They keep me on my toes.  Of course, that is a post on its own for the very near future 🙂

Questions Asked of Me –

  1. What’s the worst thing you had to eat?  This is easy – kumquats – the most vile thing in the world! Supposedly in theory, they have a sweet skin that you eat as well as a tart pulp.  Most pigs like them – I detest them.  Mom so wishes she could have gotten a picture of my face when I bit into one that she gave me.  My ears twitched up and she swears I made a face.  It was disgusting.  It’s the only thing that I have turned away food wise.  Amazing, huh?
  2. Do you like TV commercials?  I love television commercials – especially from my buddy Maxwell.  You know the famous man pig that does the Geico commercials.  He is a happening dude my friends!
  3. Have you ever wrote a love letter to a celebrity? Piggy blushes.  Yes I did.  I once wrote Miss Piggy a love letter telling her about my unswaying love for her.  She never replied and ran off with that amphibian that calls himself Kermit.  Love is so fickle my friends.
  4. What’s your favorite movie?  Don’t hate me when I say this but Muppet Twilight.  Mom got all worked up over the Twilight series and I thought this was way better.  Right?
  5. Do you like car driving by night? I don’t personally drive but mom does.  She *hates* driving at night.  And well, I don’t really like going out with her at night because you see pigs have really bad vision to begin with.  That and darkness doesn’t match.  And okay, I’m a little – LITTLE – afraid of the dark.  ssshh – don’t tell anyone.
  6. What’s your favorite ice cream?  I prefer any ice cream, maybe strawberry wins top notch.  Bashful likes  the rocky road ice cream.
  7. What’s the first thing you do in the morning?  I have to wizzy first thing in the morning – doesn’t everyone? 
  8. Did you have posters on your wall as you were a teenager?  Which ones?  I have posters of Miss Piggy, Angry Birds, Three Little Pigs, etc on my walls.  Did you know when mom was a teenager she had a picture of King Tut on her wall?!  Can you believe that?  How nerdy was that?
  9. Can you play a musical instrument?  Which one?  Mom says I play the tuba when I eat too much cabbage.  I’m not sure what she means by that.
  10. If you were a teenager, would you join in casting shows?  I would love to be casted in a television show as well myself.  I think I could bring a lot of comedy to the show.  Don’t you think?
  11. Do you prefer to listen to music, watching television or nothing to fall asleep?  Usually mom tucks me in, sometimes she reads me a story or we watch a quick cartoon together.  Most of the time, I drift off asleep while she reads.

My Questions for My New Tags –

  1. What was the last movie you watched?
  2. What is your favorite game show on television?
  3. Small house vs. big house – which do you prefer?
  4. Mountains or beach – which do you prefer?
  5. Are you more of a day person or a night person?
  6. What is your favorite day of the week? 
  7. Why is that (#6) your favorite day of the week?
  8. What is your favorite snack?
  9. What was your favorite show to watch as a teenager?
  10. Do you have chores?
  11. If so (#10), what kind?

My Tags – have fun my friends!  I hope you decide to play –

http://gentlestitches.com/

http://jaspersdoggyworld.wordpress.com/

http://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/

http://www.speedyhousebunny.com/

http://dakotasden.wordpress.com/

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 05/22/2013 in Bacon

 

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