Dear Bacon – Don’t let the humans fool you. There comes a day that they cut off the nibbles. They finally told me that I needed to work for my treats. The nerve! So I did what I could. I applied and got a job at the local Home Depot. The pay sucks. It’s hot in here and can you believe they trust me with tools? Shakes kitty head. Ask for me the next time you are in the store. Signed What Project Can I Help You With?
Dear What Project Can I Help You With – Well I have to say you look very professional. And don’t forget about your resume for future jobs. I would definitely come to you for assistance for sure. I would be surprised if you don’t start with a big following at your store location. You just have that “I’m here for you” look. Really you do.
Dear Bacon – Where is it written that only dogs can be used for protection? I’m just saying that there are other anipals out here that will serve and protect what is rightfully theirs. You see me in the picture, right? Look to the left midways. That is my kingdom. My backyard. I will chase unwanted guests out of my kingdom… you know like the meter reader guy, squirrels, kitties and those pesky pooches. I let them get in the yard fully and then it’s on like Donkey Kong. My humans had to put this sign on the gate because some peeps complained. Can you believe that? Signed Killer
Dear Killer – Shakes and Shivers. You scare me my friend. I believe you when you say what is yours well is YOURS. That’s the way I feel about my magical backyard It has *my* smells – it doesn’t need anything else. I say you continue to do what you do. No one needs to be in your domain at all.
Dear Bacon – My human laughs at me. But I gotta tell you, this position is my favorite kitty hanging down yoga position. It helps the blood flow all the way through your body – even your tail. I highly recommend it. Signed Kitty Hanging Down
Dear Kitty Hanging Down – WOWZER! I’ll have to take your word about this favorite position of yours my friend. I’m not sure if it would really work for this oinker. You see I have what they call a pot belly and trust me I’ve worked hard on that pot belly. I don’t think it would let me ‘hang’ like you do. But you enjoy my friend!
Dear Bacon – Do you think people realize when they knock on our door that we enforce a strict no solicitation rule here at our crib? We mean business. Unless you are delivering pizza – oh YES – then go to the house next door please. They have a cute little poodle who lets everyone in. Signed Four Amigos
Dear Four Amigos – I get it. I really do. Oh my pigs – you have the ‘look’ down pact with don’t mess with us and we are the first means of getting through this door. I bet you don’t get a lot of door to door sales people. I commend you on that. When I visit, I will definitely bring pizza.
Stay strong my friends!
Dear Bacon – It might have been the beer. It might have been the tequila. It might just have been the fact I stayed up all night and partied. Shakes head slowly because the world is still moving in this position. I’m never drinking again. Signed Wobbly
Dear Wobbly – Oh my friend. When you drink and fall down, you need help. Perhaps I can give you the number to your local K9 AA meeting in your area. Admission is the first step so you are half way there.
REMEMBER friends. Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.