Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a Himalayan Marmot.  I like to hang out at high elevations.  It helps me to destress and meditate.  I find a happy spot on some rocks, look over my kingdom and focus on being a better marmot.  What makes you feel good little man?  Signed Deep Thoughts

Dear Deep Thoughts – You already have me in deep thoughts with that picture my friend.  I myself don’t like the higher elevations or looking over anything with that height.  I think I would panic.  I do however try to meditate in my room after my dinner.  I focus on happy things over my kingdom at the Hotel Thompson.

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Dear Bacon – There is nothing like laying around after a good meal.  I like to put on my little sweater to keep me warm.  Do you wear clothes?  Signed Petite Sweets

Dear Petite Sweets – That is a real look there my friend.  You do look like your ‘full’.  And, I do like the sweater.  I’m not much of a sweater person myself.  I do wear t-shirts though.  Mom has a couple of pictures.  I’ll have to find them and post them later.

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Dear Bacon – You know that happy feeling you get when the human loves on you, you’re tired from playing and things are right in life?  I have here.  Can you tell?  Signed Happy Pooch

Dear Happy Pooch – I would have never guessed you were happy in that picture my friend – snort.  I think it’s the grin that gives it away.  It looks like you ate the mailman or something and got away with it.  Stay happy my fellow four legged friend.

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Dear Bacon – Be honest with me my friend.  Are my ears big?  I kind of have a complex with them.  They worry me.  The humans don’t say anything but they look at me with that pitiful look in their eyes like something is wrong.  What do you think, be honest.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – I’m a firm believer in loving what God gave you.  God gave me a pot belly.  It’s there.  I can’t help it.  The only thing I can do is love what I got.  When you are happy with yourself – you will be happy pooch.  It shouldn’t matter what others think.  Make the best of what God gave you and go with it.  I know I am!  Hogs and kisses my little buddy.

 

 

Build a Boat?

 I really thought I was going to have to put a call out for someone to build a boat yesterday.  It rained like there was no tomorrow.  All of us was getting cabin fever of being inside and on top of each other.  Today though, it’s beautiful.  The back yard was freshly cut and mom decided we needed to spend some quality time together outside so we did.

I had to walk around and investigate my kingdom – smelling the grass and sneezing.  And I can tell you it’s the truth.  The camera does put weight on you.  There’s no way my pot belly is that big.  No way at all. But don’t worry.  I did get some exercise in the yard… and so did mom.  I made her chase me around because I wasn’t ready to come in when she was.  Of course, I thought twice when she said – and I say quote, “Fine then, let Mr. Bigfoot get you.”.  I ran past her and inside of the house so fast after that, she almost fell – snorts.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Don’t let the humans fool you.  There comes a day that they cut off the nibbles.  They finally told me that I needed to work for my treats.  The nerve!  So I did what I could.  I applied and got a job at the local Home Depot.  The pay sucks.  It’s hot in here and can you believe they trust me with tools?  Shakes kitty head.  Ask for me the next time you are in the store.  Signed What Project Can I Help You With?

Dear What Project Can I Help You With – Well I have to say you look very professional.  And don’t forget about your resume for future jobs.  I would definitely come to you for assistance for sure.  I would be surprised if you don’t start with a big following at your store location.  You just have that “I’m here for you” look.  Really you do.

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Dear Bacon – Where is it written that only dogs can be used for protection?  I’m just saying that there are other anipals out here that will serve and protect what is rightfully theirs.  You see me in the picture, right?  Look to the left midways.  That is my kingdom.  My backyard.  I will chase unwanted guests out of my kingdom… you know like the meter reader guy, squirrels, kitties and those pesky pooches.  I let them get in the yard fully and then it’s on like Donkey Kong.  My humans had to put this sign on the gate because some peeps complained.  Can you believe that?  Signed Killer

Dear Killer – Shakes and Shivers.  You scare me my friend.  I believe you when you say what is yours well is YOURS.  That’s the way I feel about my magical backyard  It has *my* smells – it doesn’t need anything else.  I say you continue to do what you do.  No one needs to be in your domain at all.

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Dear Bacon – My human laughs at me.  But I gotta tell you, this position is my favorite kitty hanging down yoga position.  It helps the blood flow all the way through your body – even your tail.  I highly recommend it.  Signed Kitty Hanging Down

Dear Kitty Hanging Down – WOWZER!  I’ll have to take your word about this favorite position of yours my friend.  I’m not sure if it would really work for this oinker.  You see I have what they call a pot belly and trust me I’ve worked hard on that pot belly.  I don’t think it would let me ‘hang’ like you do.  But you enjoy my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Do you think people realize when they knock on our door that we enforce a strict no solicitation rule here at our crib?  We mean business.  Unless you are delivering pizza – oh YES – then go to the house next door please.  They have a cute little poodle who lets everyone in.  Signed Four Amigos

Dear Four Amigos – I get it.  I really do.  Oh my pigs – you have the ‘look’ down pact with don’t mess with us and we are the first means of getting through this door.  I bet you don’t get a lot of door to door sales people.  I commend you on that.  When I visit, I will definitely bring pizza.

Stay strong my friends!

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Dear Bacon – It might have been the beer.  It might have been the tequila.  It might just have been the fact I stayed up all night and partied.  Shakes head slowly because the world is still moving in this position.  I’m never drinking again.  Signed Wobbly

Dear Wobbly – Oh my friend.  When you drink and fall down, you need help.  Perhaps I can give you the number to your local K9 AA meeting in your area.  Admission is the first step so you are half way there.

 

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

Me Doing What I Do

 I really thought I was going to have to put a call out for someone to build a boat yesterday.  It rained like there was no tomorrow.  All of us was getting cabin fever of being inside and on top of each other.  Today though, it’s beautiful.  The back yard was freshly cut and mom decided we needed to spend some quality time together outside so we did.

I had to walk around and investigate my kingdom – smelling the grass and sneezing.  And I can tell you it’s the truth.  The camera does put weight on you.  There’s no way my pot belly is that big.  No way at all. But don’t worry.  I did get some exercise in the yard… and so did mom.  I made her chase me around because I wasn’t ready to come in when she was.  Of course, I thought twice when she said – and I say quote, “Fine then, let Mr. Bigfoot get you.”.  I ran past her and inside of the house so fast after that, she almost fell – snorts.

 

 

Texts from Bacon

See during the day when mommy is at the worky place, I have a lot of time on my hooves.  I do maintain a schedule of certain items – like pampering myself, an eating schedule, certain shows I just have to watch and then there’s time…. lots of time.  I do a lot of thinking when I’m walking around the Hotel Thompson and overlooking my kingdom in my magical back yard.  Since Tiny my Bigfoot went missing over the winter months, there’s not a lot going on in the woods behind my house.  By the way – if you see Tiny please ask him to come back home – I miss him.

Here’s another great text between me and mom.  Mine are in blue and mom’s are in gray.  Enjoy my friends.

  UPDATE!

My brother Easy suggested the Mankini of Borat.  OMP (oh my pig) – my eyes!  Humans really wear this contraption – in public?!  Oh the nerve they must have!  All I can show you here is what the mankini looks like.  If you want to see it on a human, google it.  But I warn you, what has been seen can not be unseen – snorts.