Dear Bacon – What can I say? I’m a happy camper. I know your dislike for a certain frog but hey can’t we be buds? Not all of us frogs are all green and taking your woman. I understand completely. Does this look like a face of a frog that would take your Miss Piggy? I think not. Signed Can’t We Be Friends
Dear Can’t We Be Friends – Aaaww my new pal. I would love to be your friend. And you are right. I only dislike one certain green frog who thinks he is God’s gift to my woman… Kermit. When he decides to leave my Goddess alone, then we might possibly be friends as well. Kermit if you are listening – call me okay.
.
Dear Bacon – I know how your mom loves the mouse with white gloves, Mickey Mouse. I’m a fan of the other one – Minnie Mouse. My humans know how much I love her so they bought me this head gear to wear so I could be her. What do you think? Am I missing anything? Signed The New Minnie Mouse Dog
Dear The New Minnie Mouse Dog – You look amazing my friend. I absolutely ❤ it! My mom would be so envious in all of your glory. Do you know what would really set off your outfit? White gloves. Oh squeals. That would have all of the Mickey Mouse Club knocking on your door. You rock my new friend! Wear those ears with pride!
.
.
Dear Bacon – Don’t fear. This is not a scary movie or a remake of Jurassic Park. We are real. We live and roam in the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador. Wouldn’t it be a hoot to play together? Of course, you might run a smidgen faster than us but we would enjoy the company. If you are ever in these parts, call us okay. Signed Aldi and Gang
Dear Aldi and Gang – WOW! Ya’ll are awesome. I bet we would have a heck of a great time playing together. Do you think I could piggy back on one of ya’ll? Instead of the tortoise and the hare stories, we could make the tortoise and the Bacon stories – snorts and rolls with laughter.
Dear Bacon – Sure, pick on the cow. My so called friends dared me to get up here on this contraption. Said it would be fun and exciting. Yeah, it’s fun and exciting alright. Can you get me off of this thing pig? Signed Betsy
Dear Betsy, Oh dear piggy heavens my friend. You are in a pickle. I’ll call Farmer McDonald to come save you. Just don’t bounce okay. It might be a few minutes.
Dear Bacon – The humans they are fickle. I bought my human a gift. Something I worked hard on getting to repay them for their kindness in giving me my forever home. What do I get in return? A screech so loud that I think they heard it on the other side of the world. I really think I heard glass breaking somewhere in the house. Then the human did something even weirder. They jumped on the table and wouldn’t come off until I took their gift outside. Really? Fickle humans. Signed The Great Hunter
Dear The Great Hunter – Snorts. You see my friend. Humans like their food cooked… and only certain kinds of food. I don’t think mice are on their listed foods they eat. Yet, it was such a wonderful gift to give to them. You are the great hunter, so gifted. Maybe the next time though hunt some cow. I’ve heard they like cow…. a LOT. Carry on and safe hunting.
REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU. Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂
Kermit is bad for you. Look at this drunken amphibian. Getting drunk – taking selfies and posting them on Facebook. All of this when he should be spending quality time with the Goddess that you are.
Any time you are ready for a better life and to be treated like you should – call me okay.
Oh my friends. It’s February 14th. Do you know what that means – besides Valentine’s Day? It means that today – the sweetest day of the year – mom gets to go to the movies (dad’s treat) and she gets to pick what movie she wants to see. And here at the Hotel Thompson – we ALL know exactly what that movie is going to be – Fifty Shades of Grey. Has your human read this book? Rolls piggy eyes – oh dear piggy heavens. Help us. Really help us.
Mom didn’t hope the Grey train until late. She finally got a special on her phone where she could purchase all four books. Let me tell you my friends. That was a bad mistake. I don’t care where mom went – to the dentist, waiting in line, at a restaurant, even sometimes at work – she would whip that fun out, start reading and fanning herself.
She has been waiting and waiting for the movie to come out, checking the calendar until the D date. Of course daddy has been watching her calendar and shaking his head because he knows he has to take her today.
In honor of sweet dad and mom, I thought I would share with you some other Fifty Shades I have found that I personally think would be funny. What about you?
I am the right oinker for you. I bet you didn’t know that Kermit was sighted out on the town having a big night without you. He gave Miley Cyrus a run for her money – that’s for sure! Any time you are willing to date and meet a real piggy that will worship your hooves, I’ll be waiting here for you my love. Love, Bacon
P.S. I’m attaching the evidence picture of Kermit’s night out for your review. What is he going to try next? Twerkin? PLOL (Piggy laughing out loud).
P.S.S. If he tries twerkin, I can beat him at that too. I’ve been practicing.
The piggy of my dreams has a new movie coming out next year on March 21, 2014. I’m sorry mom/dad. You are just going to *have* to take me to the movies to see it when it debuts. I’m thinking if we call ahead and make arrangements with the local theater, they will allow me in for the show. Heck, I’ll start saving my money in my human bank until then to pay for my ticket.
Miss Piggy – the pig of my dreams – swoon! Her new movie is called Muppets Most Wanted. This movie is about the Muppets going on a global tour in Europe. Somehow they find themselves entangled in a crime caper headed by Constantine – who is a dead ringer for Kermit. Oh the atrocity! Personally, they can have Kermit as long as I get the pig – Miss Piggy that is 🙂 But, it’s not fair of me to wish the frog harm so I won’t. Taps hooves… thinks for a minute… asks for forgiveness… but I am the better pig – snorts.
So, here’s the preview for the new movie my sweet will be in. Enjoy. And Muppet peeps if you are listening, Miss Piggy needs more airtime please. She is the *star* of the movie in my eyes. Thank you.
I’ve done a lot of reserch lately on my kind. I’ve come across what I believe are the top 6 most famous pigs. I wonder if you recognize any of them? Let’s go down memory lane to see if you know at least one 🙂
NUMBER 6 – WILBUR
Everyone remembers this wonderful story from child hood. Saved from the slaughter house – shivers – by Fern, Wilbur grows from the runt of the litter to a prize winning pig.
Sounds kind of familiar with myself since once upon a time, I was a little runt as well. I like to think I’ve done good for myself. This story also has a fabulous looking spider named Charlotte in the novel.
She almost makes you think spiders are cute and adorable, you know.
NUMBER 5 – BABE
All Babe wanted to do was be a sheep dog so what did he do? He trained himself to herd sheep. That makes sense, doesn’t it? No one believed in him that he would succeed but he persevered.
He learned the secret language of sheep and his success and being a sheep pig was secured!
This movie is wonderful and very touching – makes you fall so deeply in love with this special oinker!
NUMBER 4 – MISS PIGGY
The piggy of my dreams – swoon! She is a blue eyed bombshell, all sweet and girlish on one side and on the other side ready to karate chop herself to the top.
What is there not to love about this gorgeous pig?!
When will she ever learn that the green Kermit is not for her and she should just come and live with me at the Hotel Thompson? We could make an awesome – wonderful team together!
NUMBER 3 – ARNOLD ZIFFEL
I’ve been watching this pig for a while now on Green Acres – he is right up there with my friend Maxwell. I love that he lives in Hooterville and does all of the things I like to do – watching TV and changing the channels, taking his lunch box in his mouth to school and painting pictures.
He was a little human pig… just like me! 🙂
Who would have ever thought I was a pig in training from Arnold?!
NUMBER 2 – PORKY PIG
“Th-th-th-that’s all folks!” This is one of my favorite cartoons to watch on my television in my bedroom at the Hotel Thompson. He has stuttered his way into my heart and home.
I think I have several DVD’s of his cartoons that I like to watch at night when I’m falling off to sleep. He’s great! He can carry his own show and be a side character. I just love this cartoon!
And, are you ready for the number 1 pig as a famous pig?
NUMBER 1 – ME OF COURSE!!
Did you honestly think I would pick anyone else? Snort chuckles.
I like to think that I’m famous. Maybe not anywhere else but here with my friends that I simple love and adore!
I’m not sure what mom is up to but can you believe she is already looking for Halloween costumes? She said that she doesn’t want to wait until the last moment like she does every year… and hopefully things will be in stock to get the costumes that she wants for all of us. You know my mom. When she’s on a mission, she doesn’t stop!
She’s come up with a great idea for her and dad. It’s a real gut buster. I have to admit it was clever and original. When she showed them to me, I laughed all over the front room. It was so funny. Dad wasn’t doing much laughing but he did admit that it was very, very original.
Of course, the idea of mom dressed up like Miss Piggy is freaking hilarious! I think she can pull it off.
With this incredible, brilliant mind set of what mom came up for them, I knew my costume would be out of this world. I just couldn’t wait to see it. Then mom showed it to me. Shut the front door! Really? Mom, I don’t get it. I’ll do it but I just don’t get it. She said it had several meanings if you really knew us but still I’m at a lost for words.
Use your imagination and picture the below costume minus the dog on me… a pig. If you laugh, you have to explain it to me. Confused.
Well it’s been a little over a month since I wrote my fan letter to Miss Piggy. I’m not giving up. I know in my heart that one day I will get something from that lovely Goddess.
While surfing the next last night, I found the perfect picture of Kermit. I thought it was really funny. I think mom can create the same thing in the kitchen. What do you think?
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
Dear Bacon – What can I say? I’m a happy camper. I know your dislike for a certain frog but hey can’t we be buds? Not all of us frogs are all green and taking your woman. I understand completely. Does this look like a face of a frog that would take your Miss Piggy? I think not. Signed Can’t We Be Friends
himself to herd sheep. That makes sense, doesn’t it? No one believed in him that he would succeed but he persevered.
Piglove 