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Boo! Cue Scary Music – It’s Friday the 13th

You know, normally this day would not bother me.  BUT, thanks to daddy I’m a nervous wreck this morning.  For some odd reason, mommy gave him control of the television remote last night thus he picked movie night.  He picked – you got it – Friday the 13th.  Mommy tried to warn me that it wasn’t pig rated and I should go to my room and watch my television.  I didn’t listen because I’m a big pig.  Why didn’t I listen??  After the movie, which I might add is oh so scary!, dad gently reminded me that today is Friday the 13th.  Gee dad, thanks so much for that wonderful and so caring reminder.

Today’s not scary.  It’s just a date, right.  Repeat after me.  It’s just a number.  Numbers are not scary.  Numbers are our friends.  Right?  I’m trying to convince myself you that there is nothing wrong with today being that evil Friday the 13th.  Really… it’s just a date.

There’s lots of Fridays in the month.  There’s a 13th in every month.  It happens every month.  So what’s the big deal?  Who am I trying to convince?  Today is a scary day.  It’s Friday the 13th!  I’ve watched the movie and what has been watched can not be unwatched.

And dad, he is milking this day for all of what it is worth.  He is SO not helping.  I know you are just paying me back for all of the times that I have ‘barked’ and oinked at you.  For all of the times that I wouldn’t share mommy with you.  I know pay back is bad.

But really, I woke up to this mask hanging on my bedroom door.  Are you trying to give this little pig a heart attack so early in the morning?  You knew I was already flipping out with the date and the movie.  Bad daddy – bad!

Then daddy, if you really are my daddy – snorts, you fixed me breakfast this morning.  I should have known you were up to no good by doing that.  You never fix me breakfast – always mommy.  And everyone, you’re probably thinking that was real sweet of ole dad doing that, right?  Until he called me for breakfast.  “Jason, your breakfast is ready.”  Really?  You’ve gone just too far with that one dad of mine.

And then dad said to mom, “Hey, let’s go to Camp Crystal Lake this weekend?”  Thud – piggy down.  Dad, I will pay you back with this date.  Really, I will.

Happy Friday the 13th my friends.  

 

 

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 10/13/2017 in 31 Days of Spook, Bacon

 

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You’ve Got to be Joking, Right?

Oh friends.  It was worse than I thought.  Oh my pigs!  I may need your help and a quick plan B.  You see mom/dad had the “family” meeting Saturday night.  I really thought they were joking.  Really I did.  I even started snorting waiting for the punch line.  Of course mom has to zip up with her wonderful phrases such as, “This will be good for you”; “It’s a growing experience”; “Here’s your chance to shine”.

Yeah right mom.  It doesn’t matter how much you sugar coat it, it sucks.  There I said it.  It sucks.  What sucks you ask?

Mom and dad are sending me to camp.  Outside.  In nature.  With other peeps.  No television.  No air conditioning.  In Nature – did I mention that?  And they expect me to participate in the entire ordeal.  What is up with that?!

Look friends.  I’ve seen enough horror movies on my television.  I know about Jason.  I know about not turning your back to anything.  I’ve seen movies where other campers have tied their friends up to floats and set them out on the lake.  Or put them out in nature covered in honey.  This little oinker is not amused.  This can’t turn out good for me.  This piggy will not start campaigning for I ❤ camp anytime soon.  No way.  There’s no way I can survive this.

What if a UFO comes down and gets me and tries to probe me?   What if they take me to their place and not bring me back?  I can foresee so many potential problems here my friends.  Can you help me out?  Can one of you kidnap me or persuade mom/dad not to send me.

 

 
39 Comments

Posted by on 07/13/2015 in Bacon

 

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31 Days of Spook – Day 27

Hello friends – welcome to Day 27 of my 31 Days of Spook.  I’ve been holding out on you.  I have seen the scariest most horrifying video of my entire existence.  I saw this video and literally fell over passing out and bumping my little noggin.  I woke up and it was still playing.  I squealed LOUDLY and trust me a pig squealing is not something you want to hear in the confines of the Hotel Thompson.  I ran through the hallways trying to find mommy.  It was *THAT* terrifying.  Mommy held me and I was shaking so bad in her arms from being scared that I did something that I haven’t done since I was a piglet.  I peed on her.  It was that frightening.  She was very understanding knowing that I was scared little oinker.  She was trying to calm me down and talking so softly to me.  She asked me what happened and I couldn’t even talk our pig talk.  All I could do was take her to my bedroom and show her.  She saw the video on my laptop.  Let me tell you something, that mom of mine passed out like the leaning tower of Pisa.  She hit the floor with a good wallop.  So hard that daddy came running into my room.  And then he saw the video and fell on the floor beside mommy.  There all three of us were shocked at what we had seen.  The horror.  It was more terrifying than ghost stories.  More terrifying than Freddie or Jason.  Shivers.

Be WARNED – this is some scary video.  Here you go.

 

NOTE:  I was not harmed in the making of this video.  I am alive and well at the Hotel Thompson – snorts.  

 
18 Comments

Posted by on 10/27/2013 in Bacon

 

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Cue Scary Music – It’s Friday the 13th


You know, normally this day would not bother me.  BUT, thanks to daddy I’m a nervous wreck this morning.  For some odd reason, mommy gave him control of the television remote last night thus he picked movie night.  He picked – you got it – Friday the 13th.  Mommy tried to warn me that it wasn’t pig rated and I should go to my room and watch my television.  I didn’t listen because I’m a big pig.  Why didn’t I listen??  After the movie, which I might add is oh so scary!, dad gently reminded me that today is Friday the 13th.  Gee dad, thanks so much for that wonderful and so caring reminder.

Today’s not scary.  It’s just a date, right.  Repeat after me.  It’s just a number.  Numbers are not scary.  Numbers are our friends.  Right?  I’m trying to convince myself you that there is nothing wrong with today being that evil Friday the 13th.  Really… it’s just a date.

There’s lots of Fridays in the month.  There’s a 13th in every month.  It happens every month.  So what’s the big deal?  Who am I trying to convince?  Today is a scary day.  It’s Friday the 13th!  I’ve watched the movie and what has been watched can not be unwatched.

And dad, he is milking this day for all of what it is worth.  He is SO not helping.  I know you are just paying me back for all of the times that I have ‘barked’ and oinked at you.  For all of the times that I wouldn’t share mommy with you.  I know pay back is bad.

But really, I woke up to this mask hanging on my bedroom door.  Are you trying to give this little pig a heart attack so early in the morning?  You knew I was already flipping out with the date and the movie.  Bad daddy – bad!

Then daddy, if you really are my daddy – snorts, you fixed me breakfast this morning.  I should have known you were up to no good by doing that.  You never fix me breakfast – always mommy.  And everyone, you’re probably thinking that was real sweet of ole dad doing that, right?  Until he called me for breakfast.  “Jason, your breakfast is ready.”  Really?  You’ve gone just too far with that one dad of mine.

Dad got mom up for the worky place this morning.  Can you believe that dad had the nerve to bring up sending me to piggy camp?  What, my head went up fast.  What did I hear?  Why?  I gave dad the one eyed slant glare.  What was he up to?  I’ve barely made the outside back yard and you have piggy camp in mind?  Mom was hesitant as well.  I’ve trained her.  And then dad said where.  Camp Crystal Lake – thud – piggy down.  Dad, I will pay you back with this date.  Really, I will.

Happy Friday the 13th my friends.  

 

 

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 09/13/2013 in Bacon

 

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