Snorts – Daddy is Setting the Fashion World Ablaze!

 How in the world does mom do this?  How does she convince daddy to do the things he does and in what seems like he enjoys it!?  You see mom hasn’t thought about the cloud.  You know the cloud that saves all of the pictures on your Apple devices in the house – snorts with piggy laughing.  I don’t even have to get on mom’s iPhone anymore.  I can check the cloud from my iPad and see what she and dad have been up to.  But don’t tell her okay – this is just our little secret.  I found these shots of daddy picking out his new fashion wardrobe.  Shaking piggy head.  WOW – that’s the first word that comes to my piggy mind.  Which one of these glorious sweaters do you like?

 

 

31 Days of Spook – Caligula

Now we all know that my parents are strange.  They do strange things.  They say strange things. And, they watch strange things.  Take for instance a couple of weeks ago.  They got up early one Sunday morning and was watching television in the front room.  What were they watching?  A special on Caligula on the History Channel.  Sure, doesn’t everyone get up at the butt crack of dawn to watch the History Channel on the weekend?  See what I’m talking about now?

There they were watching the show and the narrator said that Caligula got sick and it was very serious.  At that exact moment, dad’s iPad came on and Siri said, “I am serious.”  What the cream cheese?!  Out of the blue Siri said this – no one was touching the iPad – it was on top of the chest at the front door.

Thanks Siri for scaring the crap out of all of us.  Yep, we are serious too.

 

 

 

 

 

Daddy is Cheating on Mommy

I KNOW!

I was so shocked myself.  I couldn’t believe it and I heard it my friends.  Mommy was at the worky place and I was in my bedroom taking a nap.  That’s when it happened.  I heard a girls voice.  I was like, “That’s not mommy”.  I put my head to my bedroom door and listened.  What the cream cheese?  Daddy was in the front room talking to a girl!

Of course I eavesdropped.  I think mom would understand in this situation.  I mean this is concerning family and family is first… right?

I heard daddy ask, “Siri, who’s your daddy?”  That’s the hoochies name – Siri?  What kind of name is that?  But get this my friends.  This Siri chick responded, “You are.”  WTP (what the pig)!?  This trumpet called Siri is flirting with my dad?  Is she crazy?  That’s my daddy!  She can’t be doing this.

And then I heard daddy ask, “Siri, why did the chicken cross the road?”  I tell you my daddy is strange.  Why would he be asking this cornflake this question?  But again get this – this Siri chick replied, “I do not know the motivations of chickens.”  What a smarty!

Then daddy said, “Siri, you’re the best.”  Piggy down – THUD.  What has daddy done?  And Siri said, “Thank you.  So are you.”  NNNOO!!!  This has got to stop.  Who is this scarlet?

I heard laughing from daddy.  And then daddy said, “Siri, tell me a joke.”  Siri said, “The past, the future and the present walked into a bar.  It was a tense situation.”  Daddy rolled with laughter.  I don’t get it.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had to put my hooves down and take my daddy back before mommy found out about this situation.  I squealed like I’ve never squealed before – at the top of my lungs and scratching my bedroom door.  That got dad’s attention.  He came running to my bedroom and opened my door.  I ran out of that room like it was on fire straight into the front room to find said hooch.  Nothing.  No one.  Nada.  Where did she go?  I heard her.  I know she was there.  I checked everywhere.  And still nothing.

What’s a pig to do now?

.

---

NOTE:  This post is all in fun.  Siri is actually put out by Apple products.  Siri is the personal assistant that you can talk to on products such as the i-Pad or i-Phone.  You can place phone calls, make appointments, and ask general questions to just about anything.

 

Fundies

 Humans are weird.  Strange.  Bizarre.  I was looking at my ifunny ap on my iPad last night and came across this – Fundies.  Really?  Humans thought this up and wear these things?  To do what?  Play Bingo?  Shakes piggy head.  I don’t get it.  For more than obvious reasons of not wearing underwear.  Do you?  Snorts

 

Texts from Bacon

What can I say?  Sometimes this sweet Bacon has an alternative side that comes out that mom refers to as deviled ham.  I know – those days are tough.  Last night, we went to a local carnival.  Mom called before hand to ask if I could go.  They were all for it.  Me, mom and dad went and was having a really good time.  I’ve never been petted so much in my entire life!  Things got a little carried away though towards the end and deviled ham came out.  Shuffles hooves and puts head down – it happened and I can’t take it back.  So you know when we got back to the Hotel Thompson, I had to serve time for the crime.  Here’s a text between me and mom.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Enjoy my friends.

 

 

 

Texts From Bacon

 

I know it seems hard to believe but sometimes during the day I text mom while she’s at the worky place.  It’s really easy to do.  I have everything set up on my laptop and on dad’s iPad – thank goodness for modern technology huh?  I thought from time to time, I would share our insightful texts.  Take for instance this one that we did this morning.  My texts are in blue and mom’s are in gray.  Perhaps you can pick up me and mom’s great sense of humor in these?  Snorts – take care my friends and have a great day!

 

 

Play with Your Food?

Daddy was goofing off with his iPad and found this picture of a banana wearing a hat.  Yep, of all of the things daddy could be looking at, he was looking at bananas.  Strange human he is.

He thought this banana was the cutest thing well since me – snorts.  I just shook my piggy head and walked away.  Walked away that is until I heard him ask mommy, “Hey, we got any nanners in the house?”

Okay, so I redirected my walk back towards daddy.  I mean hey, he’s discussing *my* “nanners” as he calls them.  What did he want with them?  I know he’s not going to eat one.

Yep, you guessed it.  The rocket scientist wanted to play with my food to make said banana hat.  WTP (what the pig!)  I get in trouble when I play with my food and mom is going to let him?  I watched slightly intrigued as to how long this was going to take before he gave up and gave me my banana.

After twenty minutes – rolls piggy eyes – dad did accomplish a somewhat crooked nothing like what this picture looked like of the banana wearing a hat. WOW.  Amazing dad.  Really.  Way to go.

Can I have my banana now?  Snorts.

 

Happy Monday My Friends!

 

Hope everyone had an pigawesome weekend.  There was finally some cooler weather here in Georgia.  Have I told you that I absolutely LOVE me some cooler weather?  I can’t stand the heat from the summer.  Now that it’s Autumn, there’s just a tad bit of coolness out there.  It’s great!  I take after mommy in that aspect.  She loves the cooler weather *almost* as much as me.

So this past weekend, I snuggled a lot.  No news flash there huh?  Snorts.  We watched some football – that I was ready for!  Watching football brings back some fond memories for me.  Daddy has told me stories on how my great, great, great, great, great, great grandpig played in the first games.  He was thrown around a lot but loved his job.  Every since then, my kin folks have played.  Now, I know you probably don’t think so.  You’ll have to think hard on what position my ancestors play.  I don’t care to get that involved in the game.  I’ll just watch from the safety of my couch beside mommy where I’m safe if you know what I mean.

I helped mommy around the house.  Daddy kept singing Mary had a little lamb to us.  I’m not sure why?  But mommy, she would laugh about it so that made me happy.

I tried helping daddy play his Angry Bird game.  I don’t think he appreciated my help in touching the iPad screen with my hooves.  I don’t know if he was worried that I would beat his score or what – snorts.

I even played with the purr things here this weekend.  I was nice … especially since they threw me a surprise birthday party last week.  I let that Hemi crawl all over me.  He even rode my back one time when we were playing chase.  I wish mommy could have gotten a picture of it but that purr rascal is FAST.  He boomeranged off me like I was a balloon animal.

Other than that, we chilled and enjoyed the weather.  You?

Oh, I thought I would throw this funny out to all of my friends on this Monday.  I know mommy enjoyed this picture.  She said it was SO TRUE.  I feel you mommy – can’t wait for you to get back home tonight!

Everyone have a happy Monday!

 

 

Mom Did Something Unforgivable Yesterday!

Yesterday on Labor Day, mom proclaimed it a no electronic gadget kind of day.  That meant no iPhones, no IPads, no laptops and no computers.  We actually had to converse with each other face to face.

Have you tried to live life without any of those glorious gadgets for one day?!  It’s the pits!  We couldn’t check the television guide because it’s on mom’s iPhone.  She allowed me 15 minutes to post my Happy Labor Day post yesterday and that was it.  I was cut off after that.  I couldn’t talk to any of my cyber friends.  Do you know how hard that was?!  I was shaking with withdrawals by noon.  And poor daddy.  He couldn’t play any of his Angry Bird games on the iPad.  It was not good.  We were all wanting to reach out for these devices.  Even the purr things with whatever they have been up to lately were wanting to get on the laptop.  They couldn’t and they were complaining big time to mom but she wouldn’t cave.

At 1:00pm, mom went into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the big ice box.  I followed her because well you know there wasn’t anything else to do.  The next thing you knew, dad was in there too.  Mommy said we were going to cook out as in the great outdoors in my magical backyard.  What?!  Go outside and eat… with nature?  Mom, you’re taking this way too far!

So we all went outside in my magical backyard.  Mom and dad worked with the grill and after a while some amazing smells starting happening.  I walked around the back yard – my hooves even touched the grass and it was okay.  Okay because the grass had just been cut.  Even mom’s hooves were touching the grass when she was playing with me.  It was kind of… cool.  And you know what?  It was kind of fun rooting around with my snout.  Let’s not go crazy and say I want to do it everyday but it was kind of fun.  It wasn’t too hot and it smelled good out in nature…. of course the smell coming from the grill helped a lot.  We all even ate on the deck.  That’s right.  I said all.  Mom and dad were slipping me bites here/there of chips and little pieces of steak.  I even had some potato salad. Afterwards, me and mom played tag in the yard.  I would chase her and then she would chase me.  She said that she needed the exercise after eating.

After a withdrawal kind of morning from electronics, the day didn’t end all too bad.  We actually had a wonderful time together face to face without gadgets and emails or texts.  I would highly recommend it every once in a while – just don’t tell mom I said that.  I can’t let her know she’s right all of the time, right?

But there was ONE down side to being off of the computer yesterday.  I missed a very important date – my friend Easy had a birthday and turned four!  How many times do you turn four and I missed it?  I know mom turns 30 every year but it just seems different with us anipals you know.  So Easy, I hope you can forgive this little oinker and his blunder.  This is from the deepest parts of my piggy heart – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!

And please friends – go tell Easy over at http://easyweimaraner.wordpress.com/ happy birthday.

 

On the Road with Bashful!

Bashful – the rolling stone!

 

 

 

 

 

Hello my friends!  Today’s posting will conclude my fun adventure that I had at Wally World, otherwise known as Wal-Mart.  I hope I have expressed how much fun it was!  I do hope that you have had a good laugh at my field trip and my experiences.  But don’t worry, although my adventure with Wally World… AKA Fun Land USA… is over, my field trips are not done.  I am going out more to explore and will post about those trips soon.

Today, we concentrate on education.  I really tried hard to broaden my knowledge while at Fun Land USA. 

I started first in the book section.  Those Dr Seus books are wonderful!  Did you know that daddy can almost recite the entire book of Green Eggs and Ham by heart?  He loves that one just about as much as I do.  You can see me in this picture next to the books reading.  I stayed there for as long as mom/dad would let me.  They were looking at their books and I was looking at my age appropriate books.  It was all good.

Then we moved on to exciting and wondrous things… the electronic department!  I was trying so very hard to get mom/dad to buy me my very own iPad.  They said I was too young and had to share with Bacon still.  Stomps pebbles – but I wanna my own iPad.  Darn it all.  I love playing on Bacon’s.  It’s a lot easier to type, if you know what I mean.  Maybe one day when I become a policerock and make my own money, I can get one.

With all of this shopping, I got hungry.  I might have strayed off by myself.  Mom/dad got scared because they couldn’t find me.  They said next time, I have to wear my leash – darn shucks. 

I’m not sure why they were so scared, they did eventually find me.  I was in the frozen food section licking the strawberry pie box.  Tasty – 🙂  Now I know why Bacon loves strawberries.  Of course, I tasted it so mom/dad had to buy the pie.  They weren’t fussing too much cause they said they were hungry too.  It was delicious!

Well, that’s it for today’s field trip.  I hope you enjoyed it my friends!

Toodles – Bashful