Mommy Said There Would Be Days Like This

Mom has been under a little stress lately.  There I said it.  My mom is weird though.  Instead of letting things out, she holds things in and gets really quiet.  Like super quiet.  Which is so unlike women – come on all of us can admit that.  Us men know that when women go quiet, there is something brewing and trouble is on the horizon.

So here she is trying to exercise, lots of things on her ‘to do’ list, sweating deadlines and you know before too long she is going to blow.  Shaking my piggy head.  This can’t end well if you know what I mean.  So I think I’m going to let mom explain the rest.  Take it away mommy.  Remember I love you ❤

Thanks my sweets.  Mommy loves you too.  I’m better today.  Really I am.  But I think a lot of people can relate to stress – especially when things pile up and you just can’t get it off your back.  I’ve had lots of deadlines lately – work deadlines, September surprise deadlines, government deadlines, accounting deadlines.  Usually I just juggle everything and off I go but this past week.  WOW.  Everything added up until I ran into a wall.  Like for instance….

Here in Georgia we get our car tags every year which are due by your birthday.  My tag is coming up due so I was going to get it one day last week.  Went to the local government office to get it.  Stood in line for what seemed like forever cause you know there was only what 20 people in front of me.  Finally got to the window to realize that I forgot to get my emissions checked on my Jeep.  Really?  How could I forget that?!  I’ve only been doing it for YEARS.  So, I leave the office and in my favorite Scarlett O’Hara voice reminded myself that tomorrow is another day.  

The next day I get up early and decide that I will get my emissions/tag on the way to work.  I have plenty of time – famous last words.  I go to an emissions shop that I normally go to.  Guess what?  They are closed because their computer is down.  Lovely.  

So I go on down the street to another emissions shop and pull into the facility.  Their machine is working; however, the guy using the machine is pretty new at this.  You can tell because of his clumsiness in getting around everything.  I keep repeating to myself be patient.  Then the young kid… did I mention he was young too?…plugs his contraption into my car that turns on all of the lights on the dash – which is the point of said contraption.  But the young man starts getting excited telling me I’m not going to pass because my check engine light came on the dash.  This kid is acting like he won the lottery jumping around and waving his hands.  I thought maybe I had missed something.  He rambles on and on when finally he takes a breath.  I tell him that all of the lights come on during this stage to verify they work.  That’s when this kid did some incredibly stupid.  He told me oh no I was wrong.   

Okay so maybe at this point I closed my eyes and counted to ten while this kid continued his rambling about the check engine light.  I finally held my hand up to him and asked for the manager.  He went and got the manager.  Walking back to my car I could hear Mr. Excitable explaining to the manager what happened.  The manager stopped him and pretty much told him the same thing – that’s suppose to happen.  I was good.  I promise you I was good.  I didn’t say a word but sat there smiling like the southern gal I was.  But I admit, it took a lot.  And guess what?  My car passed emissions.  I got my paperwork, paid and told them to have a good day.  

I then proceeded back to the government office to get my tag.  The Gods were with me.  Maybe they were paying me back for not going off on the young kid at the emissions office because I was able to walk straight in and get my tag decal.  Now is that tag on my Jeep yet?  Nope.  I keep forgetting to put it on.  Shaking my head – I think I need a secretary myself.  

So I’m ahead of schedule so I’m thinking I need to take care of one more thing before work.  Remember back in April when I had my car accident?  The accident made one of my tail lights go out on the Jeep.  I had it replaced and last week the darn same light went out again!  Of course, that was bugging the heck out of me.  The place I had it fixed at only takes appointments.  Really, appointments at a service department.  What about last minute things that come up.  You have to make an appointment two weeks out?  Drives me crazy.  So I thought I might just go to this place this morning and check it out.  

I enter the office and it was full.  There was 5 consultants and they all had people they were helping.  So I stood waiting patiently.  No one acknowledged me but hey I’m good.  That was until a MAN walks in and everyone jumps to wait on him.  WHY do car places do this?!  I don’t get it.  What?  I’m a woman so I’m invisible?  I’m a woman so I don’t know how to think?  Okay that might have been the point that I turned in my southern charm card.  I might have said really, REALLY loudly, “So much for waiting in line.”  Maybe I said it too loudly because I do believe I heard a mouse fart in the corner.  Of course then someone finally acknowledged me and offered to help me.  

I told him what was wrong with my car and that I was just in to get it repaired.  I advised that it should still be under warranty and I wanted the bulb replaced again, that if it quit working again I would take it to the Jeep dealership.  Mr. Service Guy just smiled at me and get this had the gall to say – are you ready for this? – “Okay little lady we will do just that and it will be about an hour.”  What the heck?!  I think the look on my face might have been his first clue that I was fixing to blow.  I took a breath and told him, “First off, I would like to say thank you for calling me little and thank you for *finally* waiting on me.  However, an hour of waiting for you to replace a simple bulb is totally unacceptable.  I’ll give you 20 minutes and thank you.”  Needless to say, I was out within 15 minutes.  

So come on friends.  You know we’ve all had these kind of days, right?  LOL

 

 

Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Oh my friends – welcome to my Bacon’s Tales of Terror.  With mom/dad being sick last month in February, I didn’t get a chance to post my Bacon’s Tales of Terror on the 13th. Someone had to take care of the humans.  Knowing that, this month I have a great tale for you.  Something that will make you think twice… make you listen to every bump in the night… something that might make you want to hold my hoof.  If you do, I’m here for you.

This month, I’m sharing a dream that my mommy had one night.  Did you know that a lot of writers get their stories from their dreams.  For instance, Stephen King gets a lot of his tales this way.  Did you know that?  Well, let’s see what you think about mom’s dream.  Best wishes my friends.

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This night was like many nights before of going out to dinner.  It all started with the normal, “I don’t care wherever you want to go” ordeal.  Rolls eyes – you know the constant battle back and forth before finally picking a place to eat.  We picked our local Chick-Fil-A and got a nice secluded table off to the side so we could talk about our days.  Mine about work and Jim about his day at the Hotel Thompson.  Hey, sometimes working at the Hotel Thompson is worse than any job you could pick with the four animals running around playing.  We talked for what seemed like a long time, laughing and holding hands.  I remember that so clearly and it brings a smile to my face.  Things got a little fuzzy after that and I remember going up front to pay our bill.

I kept standing at the counter to pay and the cashier kept taking everyone else’s checks cashing them out except me.  I remember getting a little ticked tapping my toes waiting and waiting.  Finally disgusted with the treatment I was getting, I decided to sit at a booth across from the cash register for the line to go down.  I sat and just people watched.  It’s a great past time of mine but this day was a little different.  People were coming by and shaking their heads and whispering.  I couldn’t hear what they were saying but apparently a lot of people weren’t happy.  Maybe they got the same treatment as I was getting trying to pay my bill?  

The line was shorter at the cashier so I once again got back in line to pay our bill.  And once again, the cashier ignored me.  What was up with this chick?  I finally had enough.  I put the bill on the counter with some money and turned to get Jim to leave.  But Jim was gone.  Where did he get to all of a sudden?  Maybe he found himself out the front door so that was the way I went.  Odd but then again he was still trying to be independent.  

I went out the front door and there was an ambulance in the parking lot. Maybe that accounted for why people were upset inside of the restaurant, whispering and shaking their heads.  That’s when I noticed Jim near the ambulance looking inside of it.  Oh no.  It must have been someone we knew.  I could tell that Jim was crying so I quickly rushed over to find out who it was.  I took his hand into mine and he shivered stepping backwards.  My poor husband.  This had to be someone close to us.  

I looked inside of the ambulance just in time to hear the paramedics calling it and that they didn’t make it.  Oh no.  This can’t be good.  I moved over a few inches to look at who it was before they pulled the sheet over their head.  That was the last that I remember.  It was me!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

See there’s this place called the GYM that humans and animals work out at all of the time.  You should find it.  You’re starting to look a little porky – bark – ha.  Signed  Stud Muffin

Dear Mutt Stud,

You want to go there huh? This exquisite body is 45 pounds of lean shapely pig.  I’m called a pot bellied pig for a reason.  It takes a lot of work to maintain this exquisite physique.  You should only inspire to have this high performance body one day my friend.  That is all.

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Dear Bacon,

I do not know why you insist on calling those bubbly things in water a spa adventure.  They are not and I will not abide.  You and the humans can not make me.  I will not partake in that watery death sentence.  Signed Cornered

Dear Cornered,

WOW – I commend you on the nose in the corner situation.  Is it really all that bad?  I would think that you for one would love to play with the bubbles.  I know the purr things here do when mom is in bubble land.  Did you even stick a paw in the suds? 

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Dear Bacon,

I’ve heard in your Netflix que you have a lot of ghost and life after death shows.  HA – I think I’m right up your alley little man.  Any time you want to take the challenge, you just let me know.  I think I can accommodate you.  Signed Precious

Dear Precious,

Who you been talking to about my private Netflix account?  I’m good.  Really I am.  I do find it intriguing but not so much to take a challenge physically to find out.  I thank you very much though for the offer.  It was awfully nice of you and I appreciate the thoughts.  You just take it easy and try not hurt yourself okay.  Thanks anyhow!

 

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Dear Bacon,

Sing with me little oinker –

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about.

Signed Dancing and Singing Elephant

Dear DAS Elephant,

I absolutely loved it and needed that snort.  Thanks so much my friend.  Keep up the fabulous work!

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Dear Bacon,

I’m not sure if you and your mom have ever played Hide N Seek but it’s a great game.  I’m the winner of the 2012 Best in Camoflauge.  Can you imagine how I won here in this picture?  Sometimes the humans even forget I’m in the room.  Signed Invisible

Dear Invisible,

OMP (Oh my pig!)  That is outrageous and over the top.  You go you little Houdini.  I’m going to have practice up on my skills and see if I can one day live up to your standards.  Totally awesome!