Hell Froze Over

 Yep, you heard me right.  Hell froze over.  Why do you ask?  Well, we got snow in the south.  Shocker huh?!  We never get snow and twice this year we’ve had it.  The first time back in December 2017.  It wasn’t much.  Hardly anything to write about.  It was more of an inconvenience than anything else.  Then early this week they said we would be getting snow.  Of course, here in the south we laughed.  I mean really think about living in the south.  If we see a single snowflake, we shut down.  Honestly we do.  We are not equipped for snow and we don’t know how to drive in that kind of weather.

So Tuesday night, mom got a text stating work would be delayed Wednesday for two hours – report in at 10AM.  No problems.  Mom woke up Wednesday morning and squealed for joy.  I heard her.  It scared me.  Do you remember when you were in school and you thought you might be having a snow day and you were so excited?  Mom was exactly that for some reason.  She had not even left the bed and she said it snowed.  How did she know?  Is she psychic?  Mom said she could tell because everything was so bright inside of the Hotel Thompson.  I don’t know what she was talking about.  We all stumbled to the front door.  She opened the door and we were in awe.  Look at all of that snow!  We were all mystified.

Mom then got a text saying work was called out for non-essential personnel.  Mom actually jumped for joy.  It’s strange seeing her do that.  Really it is.  Mom then went to the back door and opened it up for all of us.  She told us we could go out and play in the snow.  Shaking my head.  Mom do you not know us at all?  Houdini yawned and left to go back to bed first following by me.  Trust me.  I do not want snow or cold stuff rubbing against my pot belly.  I’ll pass.  What was mom thinking?

Then this morning she was again delayed two hours.  But when she left for work, there was icicles going across the front of the Hotel Thompson.  Do you see them?  And mom called us when she got to work.  What usually takes less than 15 minutes took mom 45 minutes this morning.  The roads were still icy and full of snow.  Mom said there was also some – what did she call them? – IDIOTS driving on the roads going fast like there was no tomorrow.  Weirdos.

 

A Note to Winter –

 

The Great Snowmageddon 2016

  Oh friends – the south has scored again with The Great Snowmageddon 2016.  It was scary.  We had warnings early last week that it could possibly be bad – especially here in the north Georgia mountains.  By early hours Friday morning, the winds were picking up and the rains had moved into the area.  Schools, businesses and state government were either shut down or shutting down early.  But never fear, mom’s work didn’t think along those lines and she had to go to work.  Snorts – poor mom.

She went into work and nothing happened all day.  The weather just maintained and quit raining.  It looked so good when mom left work, her and dad decided to go out to eat for dinner. During dinner, that’s when the fat lady started singing and it started snowing.  Patrons of the restaurant flocked to the windows to look at the pretty white stuff falling from the sky.  I mean heck, living in the south we just don’t see that.  And the philosophy of the south – we see one snowflake and the city shuts down.  Mom even video taped part of the action for me to share… enjoy this video.

So it was late at night, the snow was coming down.  It was raining in between.  The winds were blowing something fierce.  Us anipals were not amused at any of this.  We all went to bed that night thinking the worse for Saturday morning – which I might add that morning Houdini had an appointment at the Spa – which he really needed – snorts.

The next morning, mom/dad are laying in bed listening to the wind when mom’s iPhone goes off.  She received a text from Houdini’s groomer saying they were cancelling all appointment due to the inclement weather and he would be rescheduled next week.  Receiving this call, mom looked at dad and shook her head. Neither one of them wanted to get out of the nice warm big bed to investigate how bad it would look outside in the elements.  Mommy finally ventured to the back door and looked out on my magical kingdom and deck.  Really?  Well, we did have some white stuff out there – not in the yard or trees but the deck.  Does this count?

Mom then felt brave enough to venture out the front of the house to look at traces of Snowmageddon 2016 in the South.  Okay, if you look closely in this picture, you will see some white stuff.  Look close – bottom of the picture towards the front porch.  There you go.  That’s snow… or what the meteorologists call snow.

Mom went outside in her slippers and bathrobe to check out this mysterious substance.  And look what she found on the back of the Jeep – more snow.  WOW – it really did come down in buckets here at the Hotel Thompson, you think?

But then it dawned on mom – the psychic meteorologists said there was ice too out there and to be watchful of driving.  Some even said you may not want to leave the house in fear of the ice.  So knowing mom’s profession, she put on her Inspector Gadget hat and borrowed dad’s magnifying glass.  So let me set the picture my friends of my mom.

Bright and early Saturday morning, wind is blowing, mom is wearing her fuzzy slippers and her bathrobe that covers her from head to toe, Inspector Gadget hat and dad’s magnifying glass walking around the front yard like she is looking for fingerprints on the grass.  That’s when she spots it – the infamous ICE.  Here, I blew the picture up for your convenience so you can see it.  ICE in the south.  No wonder the city shut down!  Snorts with piggy laughter.

 

The The Trip of a Lifetime :)

Oh my friends – SQUEALS.  Finally, we get a change to talk about THE trip.  You know the one where my humans ran off and left us anipals with Nana and met *my* friends and had a great weekend.  Yeah, that weekend trip – snorts and rolls with laughter.  You see my friends Kali and Shoko at The Canadian Cats sent an email to my mom asking her if her and dad wanted to meet up during their vacation.  Of course my mom jumped at the chance.  Finally the weekend came and mom shipped all of us up the street to Nana’s…. which might I add what happened at Nana’s that weekend stays at Nana’s.  🙂

So mom are coming from the Atlanta area and are using the good old GPS to get to Huntsville, Alabama.  Now daddy said that Mr. GPS took them on every pig trail to get there.  Now I kind of take offense to that.  I don’t do pig trails – I make them!

But something fascinating happened right before mom and dad took off – actually the night before.  Do you know it snowed here.  Well it didn’t here at the Hotel Thompson but up towards the mountain areas, it snowed and iced pretty bad.  See, this picture mom took from her window.  It’s icy over there on the mountain top.  And don’t worry about mom driving and using her camera.  Snorts – mom said that they got behind someone that wasn’t used to A – driving on winding, curving mountain roads and B – driving on ice.  So mom was practically stopped when she took this picture.  It was really pretty.

Mom said she should have taken a picture on dad’s side.  Why?  Because it was straight down off of the mountain!  I would have watered the back seat if I saw that.  Can you imagine?

 Here’s a closer picture of the frozen ice on the mountains.  It was outrageous!  The GPS had mom and dad going through the mountains then to the left dropping in Huntsville, Alabama.  The only ice and snow mom saw really was in the mountains.  Cool huh?  Scenic route full of curves and fun.

And below is a family picture of all of them – from left to right – Bill, Jean, daddy, mommy and yeah that’s the waiter Jordan beside mommy.  Snorts!  He was a cool guy.  And in fact, mommy is doing a food blog today about the restaurant and Jordan.  So check it out here.  You won’t believe the fun they had… or the trouble they found.  And stay tuned to mom’s food blogs for the next week or two.  Mom and dad hit a lot of great restaurants to and from Alabama.

Don’t you love this picture?  Mommy has it printed out and framed on her desk here at the Hotel Thompson in her office.  I just loved it too!  Mom and dad told me so many stories about the weekend.

And look at all of these wonderful goodies that came home with mom and dad that Bill and Jean gave them.  I especially love the Pork with An Attitude shirt.  How did they know I had an attitude – snorts.  And mom says the Canadian Collection are all kinds of chocolates.  She says they are fabulous.  She took them to work and has them on her desk in her candy bowl.  Yummers!

And below these – Houdini is playing with his quack bird or is it a Canadian goose?  Snorts!  Daddy got in trouble for playing with it inside of the house.  You see you hold the tail in one hand and the beak in the other then let go.  That thing can fly!  And of course, Houdini loves it!   The other picture of Houdini is him trying to take over the purr things cat toy.  He got caught and mom was fussing at him that it belonged to Hemi and Mouse Girl.  Busted little man!  There are a few more things that I will share next week.  I know you can’t wait.  It was definitely an awesome night and thank you so much Bill and Jean for the goodies.  I do wish we were closer!!

 

 

Oh Snorts!!

I had to share this my friend. It was kind of funny. I saw this on Facebook under 98.5 All Country. Reminds me of something my mom might do. But don’t tell her I said that okay. Snorts.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – The humans went to bed without letting me in.  What’s a kitty to do?  I “hung out” all night thinking that someone in this place might come to the door.  I mean scratching on the window panes with these nails didn’t give them a hint that I was at the door – or the howling I was doing.  Dude – these humans are hard at taking a hint.  Signed Avon Calling

Dear Avon Calling – Dude, let me give you a couple of hints.  First up – if my humans heard nails on a window pane or howls that I know you purr things can make that sound like babies or such, they would be UNDER the bed hiding from the ghosts and ghouls.  Second up – If it’s like my abode, there is a curfew and the humans mean business with their curfew times.  Next time, be on time so you can get inside of the house.  Oh and you might want to go check on your humans.  I think I can hear their teeth chattering all the way here at the Hotel Thompson.

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 Dear Bacon – Doctors tell the humans that one glass of red wine is good for their health.  I think this can qualify for us anipals right?  And hey, one glass so I got the biggest glass possible.  Cheers my friend.  Signed Winey

Dear Winey – For some reason, I don’t think red wine has the same benefits to us that it does the humans.  Then again I may be wrong.  Can you pass me the bottle to fill up my glass.  Bottles Up.  I’m so grapeful!  Snorts.

 

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 Dear Bacon – My neighbors are characters… well at least that’s what my parents say.  You see there is a hole in the fence between our two houses.  My favorite thing to do is to stick my head in the fence to see what is going in their yard.  Sometimes it’s better than what’s going on in mine.  But for some reason, the past couple of times I’ve stuck my head in the hole, the neighbors snort and roll with laughter.  I don’t get it.  Do you?  Signed Moose

Dear Moose – Oh My Pig!  That is priceless my friend – I mean PRICELESS!  I think your neighbors have the bestest sense of humor.  It reminds me of my dad’s sense of humor here and the picture looks like something my dad would do.  Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon – You know what they say about it’s take a village?  Well, here is the proof.  We’ve watched the humans go to this magical box in the kitchen.  They push this button and water magically appears.  We were shocked and amazed to say the least.  Me and Fido got together and came up with a plan.  He would lend me his back and I would investigate cause you know us purr things are better with our hands 🙂 So, I did and guess what.  Water magically does appear when you push the button – awesome!  Of course it was kind of hard to explain the puddle on the floor near the box.  I just blamed it on Fido.  Hey – it’s what us kitties do, right?  Signed Cleo

Dear Cleo – Snorts!  That is totally awesome!  I don’t see one of those magical water thingies on our box here at the Hotel Thompson.  I think you have hit the mother load of an endless fountain.  And hey, Fido probably had it coming, right?  Snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’ve heard you talk about Mouse Girl at your Hotel Thompson.  I think she is absolutely beautiful, stunning so glorious and her eyes just capture my heart.  I wanted to meet her so I was going to mail myself to her.  It didn’t work so well though.  When the postman opened the mailbox, he jumped pretty high for an old guy.  I was kind of amazed.  Who knew that he was afraid of cats?  Signed Leo

Dear Leo – Oh goodness.  I just don’t know what to say.  Postman can jump huh?  Maybe we should make a movie out of that.  I think it could be something that the anipal world would love to see.  Purr things make them jump and then barky things can chase them.  It would be a great adventure!

.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *YOU*.  Keep sending me your letters and pictures to work every week.

 

 

A Note to Winter –

Dear Winter,

We are both adults.  But, I guess you didn’t hear me.  I didn’t want this to hurt.  But, I met someone else.  Her name is Summer.  She seems to like me, is very kind and doesn’t judge me.  You used to be the same.  We’d cuddle up before a fire, laugh at the world and still walk hand and hand outside.  But, you’ve changed.  You’ve frozen me out.  You’ve given me the cold shoulder.  You’ve taken the power from me.   You make me look foolish now, shivering in the ice.  It’s over between us Winter.  Goodbye.  You are dead to me.

 

Really Mother Nature – Really?!

So, it’s not enough lately that Mother Nature has been flexing her power in the south. We heard this morning that rains are coming in tonight AND there could be tornado’s.  WTP (what the pig) are you thinking Mother Nature!?  It’s not enough that you torture us with cold weather, snow, ice, no electricity, AND earthquakes.  Now you are going to throw tornado’s into the mix.  Really?

Stomps piggy hooves.  No more!  This is so wrong on so many different levels. Let me remember the safety rules for tornado’s now…. okay that’s it.  We go to the most centered place in the house with no windows – like a bathroom – and hide in the tub.  Got it.  Let’s see here.  Two humans, two purr things and a piggy in a regular sized tub.  Makes sense to me.  Will we all fit.  I don’t think so – shakes head.  Darn.  I guess those purr things can have the toilet.  Snorts.

And guess what I’m picking for the movie tonight?  I think it’s a great time to show The Wizard of Oz.

Double Snorts!

 

The Revenge of Mother Nature

I want to start by saying that I live in the south right here in good old Georgia, about 20-25 miles from Atlanta.  Winter months are not usually that bad for us.  We may get cold but nothing drastic.  Some years, we can even still wear shorts and sandles in so called winter months.  This year though, Mother Nature has been playing games with us and not in a good way.  Shame on her – bad Mother Nature.

A couple of weeks back, I got to see my first snow.  Yep, I said first snow.  You see, I’m only two years old and up until that point, this has been a no snow zone here in the south.  Then, the weather people called for snow.  We were hesistant in believing that it might actually happen.  In the past, the weather people have yelled snow and then we ended up with nothing.  You know, kind of like the Fairy tale about the boy yelling wolf for nothing.

But this time, the weather people were right. It did snow.  We got maybe two inches – three inches max in some places.  And remember I said we lived in the south.  Well that 2-3 inches literally shut us down.  In the south, we can’t deal with snow… or ice… or really cold for that matter.  Our highways looked like parking lots with abandoned cars.  Heck, mom’s worked even closed down for non-essential personnel for two days.  I wasn’t upset.  A – I’ll take mommy at home any day with me.  And B – we all bundled up, watched television and ate like there was no tomorrow.  It was great for this little oinker.

Then almost a week later, the weather people on television went a little bizarre.  They kept reporting that we were going to have a storm that could be catastrophic.  What?  Do you know I had to look up the meaning to that word.  The dictionary says it means: “Involving or causing sudden great damage or suffering”  Really?  Surely you joke Mr. Meterologist.  It can’t be that bad.  Right?  Suffering and all – Mother Nature you wouldn’t, would you?

So mom goes to work last Tuesday and around noon she gets word that her office is again going to be closed Wednesday and Thursday due to the inclimate weather.  She looked outside and it was beautiful.  Not bad really for winter. But she was all for it.  Heck, she considered herself lucky because she was already scheduled to be off Friday.  We were all excited knowing mom was going to be home for FIVE days with us.  Joybells.

The next morning, we all woke up early for some reason.  There was a sound that woke us but none of us could figure out what it was for a few minutes.  Then, we realized what it was.  Around 8:30AM, our power went off.  Uh-oh, this can’t be good.  But hey, it’s gone off before so it’ll be back on soon.  It happens.  We’ll give it an hour tops.

Mom looked out the back door into my magical backyard and saw this in the picture to the left.  It makes me shiver just looking at it and remembering.  It was C.O.L.D.  And no, I didn’t want to go outside and play in.  Shakes piggy head forcefully.  I learned a valuable lesson the last time with the snow.  I don’t like it.  It’s pure and simple.  And this, this was snow mixed mainly with ice.  Yuck.  So mom thought heck if this is what the backyard looks like, what in the world does the frontyard look like?  I’m glad you asked because mom took pictures there too.

Just looking out the front door, what caught mom’s attention right off were these lovely icicles.  Notice how long they were.  Notice the tree that looks like it’s leaning like the Tower of Pisa.  Notice the ice/snow wonderland?  Rolls piggy eyes.  Wonderland – snorts.  This can’t be good.

I looked at mom and oinked.  I had too.  My miniature pot belly tummy was rumbling. What?  I’m a pig.  It’s what I do and I hadn’t had breakfast yet.  I looked at mom and snouted her ankle.  She looked at me and said, “Bacon, this is not going to turn out good.  Mark my words little piggy.”

I had no idea what she was talking about.  I just wanted my morning breakfast followed by a little television and a little snuggling.

 So mom finally got the drift after taking this last picture of icemageddon take two out front of the Hotel Thompson.  Also by this time, dad had emerged from the bedroom and thankfully his belly was hungry too.  He looked at mom and asked her what was for breakfast.  I learned something new this date.  No power means no homemade spinach omelet for me which mom sometimes makes for me on her off days.  No power also means no lights.

But mom, she has skills.  She went into the kitchen with her little lantern and whipped up an amazing breakfast of tuna fish sandwiches with chopped up green olives and spicy pickles.  And no, she’s not pregnant – snorts.  That’s how mom rolls and fixes our tuna sandwiches.  And let me say, it was delicious.  Chef Emeril Lagasse would have been so proud of mom and her creation of breakfast.  She gave me and the purr things, Hemi and Mouse Girl, little plates as well.  It was most excellent.  Also no power means not being able to see to wash dishes but she did well.

Do you know what else no power means?  No television.  No cable.  No internet.  Now we are talking about hard times. Do you know what else makes it worse?  No heat.  If I wanted all of this, I would live in a barn somewhere on a farm.  I’m not that type of pig.  I have a certain quality of life that I have grown accustomed to – stomps hooves.

So, we sat in the front room and did something the old fashioned way.  We talked.  Without emails, without texts, without telephones – just talked.  That lasted for all about ten minutes – Snorts.  It was starting to get cold so I jumped on the sofa with mom.  I was fine there with mom but she got cold.  So she threw the two purr things on the couch with us for extra heat.  I told you mom was smart.  So there we were all bundled together wrapped in blankets.  We fell asleep.  What?  What else was there to do?  We all had full bellies.  It was kind of a competition at that point to see who could snore the loudest.  I think daddy beat me.  Yep, that was it and I’m sticking to that comment.

We all woke up a bit later hoping that the power would be back on but it wasn’t.  I can’t explain to you what a disappointment that was to us.  The temperature  was dropping fast in the Hotel Thompson.  We snacked on Cheez-Its for lunch.  Again no power afterwards.  We all went back to sleep.  What else was there to do, right?

A bit more time passed and we woke up again.  By this time, mom was beginning to feel like an icicle straight from outside. Maybe it was just knowing that you didn’t have heat that you thought it was getting colder?  I’m not sure.  Mom went and put on her Sock Monkey onesie.  I do believe that was the only thing that saved her during this power outage.   She finally got warm.  I would like to say the same.  This little piggy was cold.  Shivering cold.  So mom did what she knows best.  She wrapped me up in a blanket and carried me to the big bed with her.  Even daddy was complaining about his ‘piggies’ being cold.  He actually had to put hoof covers on his piggies… you know a pair of mom’s socks – snorts.

Do you know it dropped well below 50 degrees in the Hotel Thompson.  The power didn’t come back on until around 7:30PM that night.  By that time, all we wanted was HEAT.  BBRRR.  We all called it a night, turned on the heat to the Select Comfort and we all slept together in the big bed.  In order for me not to steal dad’s blankets, he gave me my own blanket.  Good move daddy.  He’s finally learning.

The next day on Thursday, the roads were a little better.  Mom and dad went out for a bit and they saw something that I’ve been telling you about.  We have a Bigfoot in this area… okay so he looks a lot like the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer but we have proof.  Snorts – it’s a great picture nevertheless.  Talk about photobombing – double snorts.

The power was back on at the Hotel Thompson and that was fantastic.  On the other hoof though, the cable was out.  What’s a piggy to do?  Thankfully, we had internet so mom accessed Netflix and we watched Investigative Discovery shows all day.  Nothing like watching murder and mayhem on a cold snowed in day, right?  I like to extend a special shout out to my Aunt Tina for access to Netflix.  At least this little oinker didn’t die of boredom without his cable television.

So all of this icemageddon started melting today on Thursday.  It was almost like it was raining it was melting so fast.  Mother Nature wouldn’t be that cruel to cause us a flood as an aftermath – nah.  She wouldn’t do that.

 This brings us to Friday.  The day of love.  It was a wonderful day.  Mom and dad had their special date.  Rockelle and Benedict had their special date.  All was going great this day.  What could possibly go wrong?

That night, dad leaned over and kissed mom in the front room.  At about that time, the house shook.  It wasn’t a huge rumble but it was enough to feel.  Mom asked daddy if he felt that.  He said quote, “After 26 years, I still rock your world huh?”  Nice try daddy.

It was an earthquake.  Really Mother Nature.  It wasn’t bad enough with snow, with ice, with no power, with limited food and with no cable.  You had to throw in an earthquake in South Carolina that was felt all the way here in Georgia?  I gotta say it.  “Go.to.your.room.”  If mom makes me serve the time for the crime, then I think you should too.  Sounds fair, right?   

But you know, I’ve learned that Mother Nature just doesn’t play nice.  After all of the icky weather in late January and February, this is our forecast for the week.  Notice the temperatures here in so called winter – 63, 65, 69 and 71 degrees.  Pull out your bathing suits and hit the beach my friends.

Cold – hot – do you think Mother Nature is going through ‘the change’?  Perhaps that explains our weird weather lately here in Georgia?  Can I send you a bottle of Midol to help you out?  Some ice cream?  Some chocolate?  A spa treatment perhaps?

I can’t think of anything else it might be.  You?

Snorts.

 

Icemageddon – You Win

That’s right. You read it correctly. ICEmageddon. Let’s just say yuck and eeww. You know what comes along with ice? No power. Nods piggy head. We have been without electricity since 8:30am. Translation. This little piggy is shaking like waves in the ocean. It’s freezing here inside of the Hotel Thompson. We can also hear tree limbs falling in my magical backyard and sirens outside.

Jack Frost is definitely nipping at my snout. Stop it Jack. And I don’t want to say its cold outside but Frosty the Snowman has already knocked on the door twice wanting to come in.

Oh Dear Lord. Someone come save me please. Shivers to mergatroid.