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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure what happened.  First the human was standing in front of the refrigerator door.  The next thing I knew, the human fell down like that Humpty Dumpty dude.  I have to admit the human made a pretzel look pretty everyday the way they curled up and bounced.  Do your humans ever do anything like this?  Signed I’ll Give That a 10 out of 10

Dear I’ll Give That a 10 out of 10 – First, I wouldn’t be any kind of friend without asking is your human okay?  Did they get back up after their yoga move?  I’m saying yoga move because humans put themselves in all kinds of weird positions when they do that stuff.  In fact, I have to admit that I’m pretty impressed with your move on top of the refrigerator.  What do you call that?  Upward kitty stance?  Just be careful.  I’ve heard that first step off of the refrigerator can be a booger bear – the floor doesn’t give.


Dear Bacon – This sucks.  Trust me – leave the work stuff to the humans.  Getting up at an ungodly hour is bad enough.  But then the humans have to dress up in these clothes – eeww.  How do they not pee on themselves wearing this stuff?  Signed Help Me!

Dear Help Me!  Oh I know my friend.  I don’t envy mommy going to the work place ever.  First you have to dress up then you have to drive there.  Then apparently you put up with a lot of crap and there are no treats.  What the heck do they work for?  Shaking my head.  Stay at home for as long as you can.


Dear Bacon – The humans are so fickle.  I hear them talking about this diet stuff all of the time and how they don’t eat and how the scales are nothing but lies and they don’t understand why they are not losing weight.  Breathe.  I know.  I know everything.  You see, I sit here on my perch in the dark at night.  I know why they are not losing any weight.  They are coming into the kitchen at night and eating out of the fridge and cabinets.  Doh – that’s why they are not losing weight.  Do your humans do this?  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – In a word – YES.  My humans do this too.  Then they yell at the scales at the end of the week.  Hilarious is what I call it.  My mom calls the scales a perpetual liar every week.  Of course, sometimes she doesn’t know that I have my hoof on the back of it – snorts.


Dear Bacon – You give a child an inch and they take a mile.  I told little Rusty he could play in front of the tree.  What does the little tyke do?  He climbs the tree.  Why do I care?  Because then he started squealing like someone was taking away his honey.  He was stuck and couldn’t get down.  What are we going to do with the children these days?  Signed Mommy Bear

Dear Mommy Bear – You know I feel you but you have to admit that the little guy is cute stuck on the side of the tree there.  Good thing he has those nice long nails to hang into the bark.  Give him a break this time okay.  He’s learning life and he’s still a kid.  Let him be a kid for as long as he can.  Kudos to you being a great mom!

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue sending me your letters and pictures to my email address.  ♥

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 05/03/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy – SPECIAL ISSUE

Greetings my dear friends!  This week, we have another great and wonderful guest helping us out with my Dear Bacon issue.  This week, my sweet friends Tigerlino and Roxy are stepping in for me to do a special edition of Dear Tigerlino and Roxy.  Be sure to visit them at their blog and check them out – let them know what a great job they did – thanks Tigerlino and Roxy!!

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy,
Uh-oh. This doesn’t appear to be how the humans lay in this contraption. Sparky is underneath checking out what happened. Secretly I think he’s laughing at me. I jumped on top of this trickery and my legs continued south. Can you help a dog out? Signed Stuck

Dear Stuck,
um… we’re not sure what that thing is for but you’re absolutely right… that’s probably not how you use it. But hey, look on the bright side. If you get tired now, you won’t have to lie down to take a nap… you can just hang in there. And yes, it does look as if Sparky is secretely laughing at ya! But maybe you can get even by asking him to join you on that thing??? He won’t be laughing anymore once he’s stuck there too!  As for helping you out… we’re not sure what advice to give you. Hmmm… are you, by any chance, ticklish? Maybe if Sparky tickles your paws, you’ll jump up so high that you’ll fly right out of your trap? On second thought, that’s probably not the best idea. You’d probably fall right back down on that thing and get stuck again. But don’t despair, buddy… we’re trying to figure something out, okay? So just hang on…xoxo Tigerlino & Roxy

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy,
Do you know what is more fun than rolling around in the mud? Of course it would be playing in a bundle of straw. I love hiding in the straw and then jumping out snorting to humans that pass my way. Some of them can jump pretty high. Have you ever done this? Signed Pop Goes the Piggy

Dear Pop Goes the Piggy,
We’ve never done this before but it sounds like a lot of fun! Do you think that works with dogs too? We’d love to give the neighbor’s dogs a fright. Do you think they can jump as high as the humans? Or even higher??? 😉  xoxo Tigerlino & Roxy

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy,
Oh it’ll be fun he said. Just look over the edge at the crawly thing. You can’t possibly get hurt. Yep those were his last words before he pushed me over the edge like Humpty Dumpty. How can I get even. Can you help me out with that? Signed Too Close to the Edge

Dear Too Close to the Edge,
Why that little traitor! Let’s give him a taste of his own medicine. Why don’t you tell him that that crawly little thing was in fact a super yummy tuna treat and that you have found even more of them hidden in a mound?! And that you’d be happy to lend a helping *cough cough* pushing *cough cough* paw to explore the mound (housed by angry fire ants just waiting to take him on for disturbing their home…) How about that?! 😉  xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy,
Don’t you love my new shirt? You want one don’t you? Signed Bark Humor

Dear Bark Humor,
Oh My Gosh! Why are you not wearing any pants? Did the cat rip them apart? Or did you lose them in a poker game or something? But hey, don’t worry! If you smile big enough, no one will notice that you’re… um… nude… down there…  xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino

P.S. Where can we get one of those shirts???

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Dear Tigerlino and Roxy,
Meow. That should fix the humans for not giving me any snacks before they went to bed. Just wait until they go to potty now. Meow. Signed Payback

Dear Payback,
Yep, that’s purrfect… for a start. You could also shred the drapes, or the couch, or the carpet, or the wallpaper. And if the humans have a fit, tell them that you were just doing a little redecorating. Nothing wrong with that, right?  Oh, and you could also put a nice hairball on the human’s pillow…that’s pretty fun too! If you need more advice on how to get even with the humans, just let us know. Our „Get Even with the Humans Revenge List“ is endlessly long and getting longer as we speak…Have fun, sweetie! Meow!  xoxo Tigerlino & Roxy

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Remember friends – keep sending your letters/pictures to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

We can’t do this without you!!

 
34 Comments

Posted by on 06/24/2014 in Dear Bacon

 

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