Travels in the South

Go ahead – check this dog out – snorts with piggy laughter.  Do you remember the Courthouse Tavern that mom/dad went to a couple of weeks ago?  You can check that posting out here.  Well, Houdini had a spa appointment this past Saturday in that same area.  So since they were in the same area, guess what mom/dad decided to do.  Yep – visit the restaurant once again.

This time, dad again went for a hamburger.  Shaking my head –  he’s so predictable.  But mom, she wanted something different.  She went for what they call a Jazzy Junkyard dog.  All beef (thank goodness-snorts) with a side of steak fries.  Now those fries are just the way mom likes – not soggy but crispy and wonderful.  And on her dog, she added cheddar, some kind of meat she told me I’d probably be better not knowing and fresh jalapenos.  You want a bite, don’t you?

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Mom said the hot dog was awesome but she didn’t care much for the bun.  The bun was toasted and although that gives a great flavor, the bun was kind of stiff and hard which is not good.  So if she orders it again, she will ask them not to grill the bun.

 

Funny Humor

I’m still feeling amused today my friends – snorts.  Be afraid 🙂  Enjoy these and if you happen to wee on yourself just a bit from laughing, I won’t tell anyone.  🙂

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What did the doctor say when a pony came in complaining about a sore throat? “I know what’s wrong here; you’re just a little hoarse!”

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 A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God,” and for it to stop you say, “Amen.”

So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff.

Just in time, he shouted “Amen!” and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge.

“Whew,” said the man, “thank God!”

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How can you tell which end of a worm is which?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles.

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 Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – My mom holds my trunk every time we go out on walks.  It’s so embarrassing.  I like to think that I’m a big elephant now.  I don’t need to hold hands.  Does your mom make you do these things too?  Signed Mommy’s Boy

Dear Mommy’s Boy –  I hate to tell you this my friend but we will always be mommy’s baby regardless if we are two or a hundred and two.  That’s the way it is.  I wouldn’t worry what anyone else thinks of your situation.  One day when your mom is gone, you will wish for these days again.  So I tell you, enjoy your mom holding your trunk.  Love every minute of it and hey why don’t you hold her trunk for a change.  You can tell your friends that’s the case.  You are protecting your mother and helping to guide her.

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Dear Bacon – This means war.  All day every day.  You do know what I’m talking about, right?  I refuse to become a chicken nugget.  I’m a rebel with a cause.  I’m the extreme free range chicken.  Unite with me and stand with the cause.  Signed Rebel with a Cause

Dear Rebel with a Cause – I’m so with you.  I would stand beside you for your cause.  I would even add my cause.  I refuse to be a pork meal in any shape or form from bacon to pork chops and anything in between.  If we don’t stand up for our rights,ele who will?  I say we have a meet up at Old McDonald’s Farm on Highway 42 at midnight to talk about our stand.  I’ll start making posters and hanging them in all of the fast food restaurant bathrooms ASAP.
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Dear Bacon – There we were at the local bar mingling when we ordered a drink called the Blue Calypso.  Were we surprised when it came to the table.  Oh my hamsters – it had a garnish that was alive and swimming.  We didn’t know whether to drink it, play with it or tip it.  What say you?  Signed The Twins – Adam and Bubba

Dear Adam and Bubba – Now *that* is a surprise my friends.  I’m with you.  What to do?  Well, you can’t drink/eat the tyke now.  You’ve been introduced and are on friendly terms now.  And on the other hoof, if you leave him, someone else will take care of your problem in a bad way.  I say, ask him to come home with you to keep him safe.  Wouldn’t that be fun to have an extra room-mate?   He does look kind of cool and just think of how much trouble ya’ll can get into.  I bet he would even be great at charades.

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Dear Bacon – There is always that one person in the hood that is your arch enemy.  So yes I have eaten little more lately than usual.  It’s summer. It’s hot.  There’s nothing else to do but eat.  Maybe perhaps I shouldn’t have eaten that last dog biscuit.  I went outside to take care of some business and while coming back in I got stuck in a compromising position.  I swear someone shrunk my doggy door.  And then there is that one friend-enemy that snuck up behind me and drew a happy face on my butt.  Really?  Don’t push me and help guy out, embarrass him instead.  What an idiot.  When I get out of this position, he is so going to pay.  What do you think?  Signed Two Faced

Dear Two Faced – Give me a second to gain my composure.  I’m not laughing at you.  I’m laughing with you at the situation.  It could very well be this little porker stuck in the doggy door.  While your friend-enemy was drawing on your butt perhaps you should have told him to kiss while he was back there.  At least he wasn’t talking behind your back – snorts.  And don’t worry, I’m sure you will get even.  You know what they say about karma – it goes around  Don’t forget that okay.

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Dear Bacon – Julia Child – nope.  Emeril – nope.  Bobby Flay – nope.  I’m the original Chef Wolf Dog Gang. Since graduating from the CICC (Culinary Institution of Canine Cooking), I can’t stay out of the kitchen.  Not only can I bring home the bacon (sorry pal) but I can cook it up in the pan.  Friends in the hood come from all over to taste some of my creations.  You can often find me shopping in gardens around the house and coming up with such masterpieces as Hot Dog Casserole, Mutt Balls with Brown Rice, Doggy Lasagna and Chicken Backlash.  They are all must haves and I hope to market them soon.  When I get my cooking channel up, I would love for you to be my first guest.  Signed Chef Wolf Dog Gang

Dear Chef Wolf Dog Gang – That is totally awesome that you picked up a hobby that is also a career.  You know what they say about if you enjoy and love your job, you will never work a day in your life.  Keep up the great work and hey can  you send me some Mutt Balls with Brown Rice?  That sounds fantastic!  Oh and I would love to be your first guest as long as well you know… I’m a guest and not the guest of the meal if you know what I mean – snorts.

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REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *YOU*  Keep your pictures and questions coming by sending them to me on my email address.

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