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Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – Dude, I hear you talking all of the time about having to do chores there at your crib.  I know you hate them but think of me.  I’m the glass carrier.  Yep, I think this picture says a thousand words.  My human is forever losing her glasses.  So I go behind her, find them and bring them to her.  My job is endless.  And please no smudges when you deliver the glasses.  The human already can’t see – Barks!  Signed Corgi Services

Dear Corgi Services – My friend – I am highly impressed.  And no smudges.  You are the finder of glasses and you keep your human on task by bringing them to her.  I must see if I can help my mom out too… she’s always losing her contacts…. I’ll try not to smudge them or swallow them – snorts!


 Dear Bacon – HA!  That’ll teach the old cow to try to outplay me in my own field.  He’s always getting his picture taken by the farmer and his kids.  “Look at the cow, he’s so cute”, blah-blah-blah is all I hear.  How about look at the squirrel and my powerful horns.  That’s right.  Those are my horns… not the stupid old cow.  Signed Bull Squirrel

Dear Bull Squirrel – WOW, those are some mighty big horns you have there.  It must be really hard with your every day life.  I can only imagine little things like just moving… or heaven forbid you should run.  I say you are a blessed little creature for sure and you have some mighty fine horns.


Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  So I like to dress in clothes – so what.  So does a lot of other dogs.  But all of a sudden people are calling me names.  I don’t get that.  And they keep looking at me and saying, “Khakis?”  Well, yes khakis.  I think they make my legs look longer.  Please help me.  Signed Jake

Dear Jake – Give me a second dear friend.  Your name is Jake?  Really for sure?  I’m so sorry pal.  Can I ask who you have your insurance with?  Okay I’m sorry.  I digress.  You know you shouldn’t worry what people think about you.  It’s how you feel about YOU.  And Jake, if wearing khakis make you feel good about YOU, then go right ahead and do it.  I’m off now.  I hope that helps.  I need to make a call to my insurance company, State Farm.


Dear Bacon – Listen little guy.  I belong to a secret club.  It’s called the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.  We meet once a week.  You know to discuss important things that we have in our lives.  I can’t tell you specifics because well you know it’s a secret club for men.  This is my hat that I wear and then I do the secret shuffle and they let me in.  If you are ever in my hood, look me up and I will take you to a meeting.  Signed Grand Poobah

Dear Grand Poobah – Dude!  That looks so cool.  And a secret club with secret moves and knocks.  I am so there the next time I vacation in your area.  Count me in.  What do I need to do to get that awesome headgear.  I know I can rock it just like you!

 

 


❤ Friends – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤

 
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Posted by on 08/30/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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