Boo! Dismemberment

Oh my friends – didn’t you get a chill just reading that title – dismemberment?  It does bring me shutters thinking about it.  You see this is a story that read about and heard on television.  I couldn’t believe my piggy eyes and ears!  I was shocked and ran to tell mom/dad.  They were in awe as well.

There was a man that lived in Tennessee.  Back in November of last year, he and his wife had a huge fight.  Things didn’t end well.  The fight escalated and the guy ended up killing his wife, dismembering her and putting her in their freezer in the garage of their house.  There she was for two days.

During those two days, the man kept thinking his wife was coming to him in his dreams about what happened.  He finally went and checked the freezer and she was alive!  They had a long conversation and she was telling him how much she loved him.  He was crying when he called 911 to come out and help her.

The police arrived to the house.  When they went into the garage, there was no way the woman could have been talking to the guy – she was dead and had been for several days.  Did she come back to seek her revenge?

 

31 Days of Spook – Dismemberment

Oh my friends – didn’t you get a chill just reading that title – dismemberment?  It does bring me shutters thinking about it.  You see this is a story that read about and heard on television.  I couldn’t believe my piggy eyes and ears!  I was shocked and ran to tell mom/dad.  They were in awe as well.  

There was a man that lived in Tennessee.  Back in November of last year, he and his wife had a huge fight.  Things didn’t end well.  The fight escalated and the guy ended up killing his wife, dismembering her and putting her in their freezer in the garage of their house.  There she was for two days.

During those two days, the man kept thinking his wife was coming to him in his dreams about what happened.  He finally went and checked the freezer and she was alive!  They had a long conversation and she was telling him how much she loved him.  He was crying when he called 911 to come out and help her.

The police arrived to the house.  When they went into the garage, there was no way the woman could have been talking to the guy – she was dead and had been for several days.  Did she come back to seek her revenge?

 

31 Days of Spook – Dismemberment

Oh my friends – didn’t you get a chill just reading that title – dismemberment?  It does bring me shutters thinking about it.  You see this is a story that read about and heard on television.  I couldn’t believe my piggy eyes and ears!  I was shocked and ran to tell mom/dad.  They were in awe as well.  

There was a man that lived in Tennessee.  Back in November of last year, he and his wife had a huge fight.  Things didn’t end well.  The fight escalated and the guy ended up killing his wife, dismembering her and putting her in their freezer in the garage of their house.  There she was for two days.

During those two days, the man kept thinking his wife was coming to him in his dreams about what happened.  He finally went and checked the freezer and she was alive!  They had a long conversation and she was telling him how much she loved him.  He was crying when he called 911 to come out and help her.

The police arrived to the house.  When they went into the garage, there was no way the woman could have been talking to the guy – she was dead and had been for several days.  Did she come back to seek her revenge?

 

Craig’s List

 I don’t go on Craig’s List very often.  In fact, I tend to steer clear of it and the entire mess it can be.  But this ad  I couldn’t pass up.  I thought it was hilarious and had to share.  It sounds like something my daddy would do – snorts.

 

Dogs vs Cats

 

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

  Really?  That is the question for the day.  Mommy kissed all of us goodbye this morning and walked out the door.  We heard her chuckling from the front porch.  Why do you ask?  Look closely at the picture above.  Across the street in the yard, there was a chicken.  A real goodness chicken.  Why did it cross the road?  Probably because it knew of mom’s passion for fried chicken?  Snorts and rolls around in piggy laughter.

Never fear – the chicken is live and well.  Mom knocked on the owner’s door and told him his chicken was out.  He said it got out of his chicken house. What a thought.  There’s an escaped chicken in our hood.

 

Letter From Summer Camp

Dear Family,

Bacon here from Summer Camp.  This will be my final letter from camp.  WOW – it’s been a long week in a lot of different ways and on the other hoof a very short week.  I really didn’t want to come but I have to admit that it’s been kind of fun.  I’ve met a lot of great friends – Scott and Piper.  You are probably wondering who the heck is Piper.  Piggy blushes… she was the strawberry that I had dinner with the other night.  She’s sweet and cute and all girly and from the south.  She gave me her phone number and address so we can stay in touch ❤ .  Oh, and so did Scott.

Last night was talent night here at camp.  All of us had to come up with some kind of talent for the show.  Heck, I had to think hard.  I mean what talent do I have besides pounding a keyboard.. which I’m pretty good with cause the last time I checked I was up at 25hpm (hooves per minute).  So I thought about biting into an apple and laying on the floor but I’m not sure how many of the gang would get that one.  Then it hit me.  I would dance and sing a song of my people so I did.

“I’m a little teapot short and stout.  Here is my handle and here is my … handle.  Damn I’m a sugar bowl.”

It got a great snort and got me off of the stage quickly.

So today mom/dad are coming to pick me up.  I can’t wait.  I’m so ready to jump in the back of the Smart car and get home to my kingdom… my castle… my own bed… my air conditioning.  aaww – I miss that life.  I hope you’ve been entertained this week and that my little brother Houdini has done a good job on my blog.  I instructed him before I left to take care of everyone.

See you soon my friends!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend.  You know the one that ‘dares’ you to do something and says, “What are you afraid”?  Why did I have to fall for it.  Can you tell me that?  And then if that wasn’t bad enough, Ethel has to then photobomb me and take a picture for her Facebook account.  Dude, I long for the days before all of this social media.  Signed Jack

Dear Jack – WOW.  I see that you are in a predicament my friend.  I don’t even know Ethel dared you to do but the how the heck did you get out of that funky position?  Of course, for payback and before she photobombed you all you had to do was lift that left leg in a strategic position and that would smack that smirk right off of her face – snorts.  You know friend, this just screams for payback.  And make it GOOD.  I mean really GOOD.  And then post it on your Facebook account… or perhaps get Christmas cards made.  Now that sounds like a plan of destruction.  Keep me posted with the results and don’t take any more dares anytime soon okay.

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Dear Bacon – HA!  This will teach my humans.  I ran away from home and they have yet to find me.  What do you think?  Am I the master of disguises or what?  Signed Hide N Seek Master

Dear Hide N Seek Master – You are the boss my friend.  I had to take several looks myself to see which ‘rock’ was you.  And your parents haven’t found you yet.  That’s so awesome.  Just remember to come out in time for dinner okay.

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Dear Bacon – They said I could do and be anything I wanted.  So I decided I wanted to water ski.  And let me tell you something – it is fantastic!  So invigorating.  It makes me feel like I weigh nothing at all.  I highly recommend it my friend.  Signed Weightless

Dear Weightless – You know you have my interest piqued now my friend.  I think I may try this soon… especially since mom/dad are sending me to this awful thing called C.A.M.P.  Stay safe.

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Dear Bacon – Have you ever just had one of those days that you needed a little something to take the edge off?  This was me last weekend.  I just couldn’t take chasing the postman anymore… or tying up and blaming the cat for everything.  I needed a little liquid refreshment in a place where everyone knew my name and it was a fun place.  And hey, this wine is awesome.  Have you ever felt like this?  Signed Stud at the Bar

Dear Stud at the Bar – Oh yes indeed.  There are days that I feel the world is overcoming me… especially this past weekend.  We could have met up my friend.  Perhaps split a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola wine and whined on each other’s shoulders or downfalls in life in general.  I’m sure it would have been a blast.  Call me next time okay.

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Dear Bacon – I’m not sure my son gets the full effect of my look here.  This is my what.do.you.mean.you.want.to.stay.out.all. night.long.partying.look.  Does it work for you?  Do I need to change something for more of an effect?  Any suggestions?  Signed Dad in Charge

Dear Dad in Charge – I think you have the look down pact.  Did you follow it with, “Not while you are living under my roof?” and “While you are living under my roof, you will obey my rules”?  That usually works when my dad uses them on us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe take away his allowance.  That *always* hurts this little oinker where it counts.  Good luck with your son my friend.  Just think of these as his teenage rocky years.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  🙂

 

 

Party On!

 Oh friends – ppssst – guess what?  Are you ready for this?  It doesn’t happen very often but I have the entire Hotel Thompson to myself today.  Squeals with piggy delight.  What to do first?  The choices are endless!

You are probably asking yourself how this happened… right?  I’m a psychic!  That’s right, call me the psychic pig – snorts and rolls with laughter.  You see mom was in her confinement of Jury Duty this week so she had to go to the office for a bit to get some things caught up.  (And she did say she will do a story about her captivity – be on the lookout for it next week maybe.)

Well mom took daddy with her.  The cats are at the groomers and Houdini is at grandma’s.  Can you say party on here with the piggy?  I’ve already ran through the halls, inspected all of the rooms, answered my emails and working on some blogs.  Perhaps I will text mom later.  You know, to find out when she is coming home.  I gotta make sure I clean everything before she gets back.

 I smell something delicious coming from the kitchen area that I gotta investigate.  And guess what – with their rush to get out of the home this morning guess who didn’t put up the piggy gate to the kitchen – score for this little oinker!  Don’t worry, I won’t make a mess.  I’ll be the perfect little porker.

So what do you have planned today?  Anything exciting?  Have you ever been left home alone?  It’s kind of scary in a way but so exciting on the other hoof.  I can county maybe this being the second time this has ever happened in FOUR years.  I’m a big pig now.  They need to do this more often.  See I’ll be good today to show them I can be trusted… somewhat.  Now, I’m off to get the front door.  That must be the pizza I ordered 🙂

 

31 Days of Spook – Noise in the Night

What would *YOU* do my friends?  Would you hide?  Would you shake with fear?  Scream?  Pass Out? Run?

This is the question.  You’re home alone.  It’s the middle of the night.  You hear some strange noise coming from the basement.  You go check it out because it can’t possibly be anything bad.  You look down the stairs and you see this “beast”.  OMP!  What do you do?

Personally, up first I would pee on myself.  No questions asked – I would make it rain like it has *never* rained before.  Second, I would squeal to the high piggy heavens and thirdly – take off running!

Now, all of these things would happen really, really fast.  Wee, squeal and RUN!

What would you do?  Discuss.