Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – I made the mistake one day of showing my human that I had skills.  I know my way around under the hood.  And, I’m small so I can get into all of those hard to reach places.  Well since he found out, he’s put me to work at the garage.  I’m his ‘secret weapon’ that no one sees.  So the next time you get your car worked on, think about me.  Signed Monkey Wrench

Dear Monkey Wrench – Oh my piggy heavens!  Now the secret is out.  No wonder it always costs mom/dad and arm and a leg when they take their Jeep in for service.  The secret weapon is working on it.  WOW – I think you do have skills my little friend.  AND I do hope that your human knows that the price is high to maintain an excellent worker of your caliber.  You enjoy your tinkering!

 

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Dear Bacon – After a while, one gets tired of waiting for the master to feed us.  Sometimes we have to take matters into our own paws.  I did just that.  I started a garden in the backyard.  Most dogs hide their bones but I on the other paw want to make food.  All kinds of delectable tastings so when I get hungry all I have to do is take a walk.  And don’t worry about watering – I have that covered if you know what I mean – barks!  Signed Farmer Pooch

Dear Farmer Pooch – hey I like the idea of having my walking grocery store in my own backyard.  I agree with all that you say… except for maybe the personal watering part.  I do hope that you wash that food before ingesting… just sayin’.  But in the meantime, do you think you can grow me some strawberries and watermelons?  I would really appreciate that my friend.  Thanks!

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 Dear Bacon –  There I was romping around the farm minding my own business.  That’s when my human picked me up to go shopping.  Heck I don’t mind.  I was already dressed and not doing much anyway.  So we went to our local hardware store so that they could get some material for the fences.  I sat in the kid seat minding my own business like a good little toddler.  So nothing to see here – just a kid in a buggy.  Do you like going out on field trips like this?  If so, where have you been?  Was it fun?  Did you sit in the buggy?  Signed Romping Kid

Dear Romping Kid – Now that is a vision to behold my friend.  Just a kid riding around in a buggy at the local hardware store.  What’s to see, right?  You look good and let me add that you probably acted better than some two legged kids in the store.  Am I right?  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Once when mom took me to the vet, we stopped by our local Home Depot store to pick up a few things.  Mom had my Radio Flyer in the Jeep with her.  She pulled it out, helped me in it and pulled me through the store.  It was also a vision to behold.  A pig being pulled in a Radio Flyer through the Home Depot.  I met a lot of people like I’m sure you did this date on your visit.

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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  Mom put some milk in her cup.  She set the cup on the counter in front of me.  It was like she was inviting me to take a sip so I did.  Then she started snapping pictures like a Chinese tourist here at Walt Disney World.  I don’t get it.  And laughing – oh my gosh – I thought the woman was going to hurt herself she was laughing so hard.  Shaking my head – humans are weird.  Signed Nosey Kitty

Dear Nosey Kitty – Oh my goodness my friend.  I have to admit that *I* almost hurt myself snorting so hard looking at that picture.  Look closely – you can almost smell the fun factor – oh my gosh – I’m killing myself here.  It’s a great picture my friend.  Don’t worry.  Your human was just having fun – of course at your expense – but I have to admit it was hilarious.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures ❤

 

Paw Time with Houdini

Another week down my friends.  It was a busy week with mom/dad’s anniversary and Bacon’s birthday but it was a fun week.  Bacon has also been busy getting ready for his 31 Days of Spook in October and of course mom has started her DIEt again for the gazillionth time – rolls puppy eyes.  Do all women go through this?  Please tell me yes – barks!

The weather here has started getting cooler.  Bacon is loving that.  I myself am not sure.  This six pound body gets cold like you wouldn’t believe.  A couple of nights, mom has made a fire (by flipping the switch – barks with laughter).  I crawl up in her lap on her chaise to feel the heat and watch the flames.  That is the life my friends.  And don’t you love my shirt?  I got it just for Bacon to pick on him.  He’s not too fond of it for some unknown reason?  Maybe because it makes my butt look small?

Oh, and this is hilarious.  When mom/dad came home Sunday from their night out, guess what happened?  The toilet decided it didn’t want to work anymore and wouldn’t flush.  Isn’t that awesome?  So mom had to go the local Home Depot store to pick up what she called a flapper.  I wouldn’t let her out of my sight so guess who got to go with her?  Yep that would be me.  I was her assistant. So we went together.  That place is cool.  The smells are funny but there was so many people that wanted to pet me and oohh and aaww over me.  Of course, I ate that up!  I was the main attraction in the plumbing aisle.

Well that’s all for me my friends – yawns – I hope you had a wonderful week as well.  Happy weekend!

 

Scrub Daddy

I gotta share something my friends.  I think this is simply hilarious.  Really I do.  This is it:

You see it looks kind of funny, right?  Mom bought it this weekend for daddy to use when he washes the dishes… you know since he is her personal dishwasher – snorts with piggy laughter.  Apparently you can put your fingers through the eyes and the mouth and it helps to ‘grip’ the sponge.  Mommy told daddy about it and he was like yeah sure.  

So later in the day, daddy uses Sponge Daddy.  And you know what?  Daddy absolutely LOVED it.  It’s kind of hard at first and then when it gets all soapy, it gets cushiony.  Daddy says you can hear the squeaks in the glassware cause it was cleaning so well.  AND daddy said he loved being able to put his fingers in the eyes and mouth to ‘grab’ it better.  He said he would highly recommend this product.  

Now we were not paid to endorse or not endorse the Scrub Daddy.  Mommy actually saw him at our local Home Depot store and bought one for less than $3.00.  She has since done research on it and saw where it was actually on Shark Tank – unbelievable huh?  

The next time you are out and about, you might want to look up a Scrub Daddy for yourself.  It seems that daddy really likes doing dishes now and has nicknamed his scrubber Smiley.  That’s original dad…. really it is – snorts.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Don’t let the humans fool you.  There comes a day that they cut off the nibbles.  They finally told me that I needed to work for my treats.  The nerve!  So I did what I could.  I applied and got a job at the local Home Depot.  The pay sucks.  It’s hot in here and can you believe they trust me with tools?  Shakes kitty head.  Ask for me the next time you are in the store.  Signed What Project Can I Help You With?

Dear What Project Can I Help You With – Well I have to say you look very professional.  And don’t forget about your resume for future jobs.  I would definitely come to you for assistance for sure.  I would be surprised if you don’t start with a big following at your store location.  You just have that “I’m here for you” look.  Really you do.

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Dear Bacon – Where is it written that only dogs can be used for protection?  I’m just saying that there are other anipals out here that will serve and protect what is rightfully theirs.  You see me in the picture, right?  Look to the left midways.  That is my kingdom.  My backyard.  I will chase unwanted guests out of my kingdom… you know like the meter reader guy, squirrels, kitties and those pesky pooches.  I let them get in the yard fully and then it’s on like Donkey Kong.  My humans had to put this sign on the gate because some peeps complained.  Can you believe that?  Signed Killer

Dear Killer – Shakes and Shivers.  You scare me my friend.  I believe you when you say what is yours well is YOURS.  That’s the way I feel about my magical backyard  It has *my* smells – it doesn’t need anything else.  I say you continue to do what you do.  No one needs to be in your domain at all.

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Dear Bacon – My human laughs at me.  But I gotta tell you, this position is my favorite kitty hanging down yoga position.  It helps the blood flow all the way through your body – even your tail.  I highly recommend it.  Signed Kitty Hanging Down

Dear Kitty Hanging Down – WOWZER!  I’ll have to take your word about this favorite position of yours my friend.  I’m not sure if it would really work for this oinker.  You see I have what they call a pot belly and trust me I’ve worked hard on that pot belly.  I don’t think it would let me ‘hang’ like you do.  But you enjoy my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Do you think people realize when they knock on our door that we enforce a strict no solicitation rule here at our crib?  We mean business.  Unless you are delivering pizza – oh YES – then go to the house next door please.  They have a cute little poodle who lets everyone in.  Signed Four Amigos

Dear Four Amigos – I get it.  I really do.  Oh my pigs – you have the ‘look’ down pact with don’t mess with us and we are the first means of getting through this door.  I bet you don’t get a lot of door to door sales people.  I commend you on that.  When I visit, I will definitely bring pizza.

Stay strong my friends!

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Dear Bacon – It might have been the beer.  It might have been the tequila.  It might just have been the fact I stayed up all night and partied.  Shakes head slowly because the world is still moving in this position.  I’m never drinking again.  Signed Wobbly

Dear Wobbly – Oh my friend.  When you drink and fall down, you need help.  Perhaps I can give you the number to your local K9 AA meeting in your area.  Admission is the first step so you are half way there.

 

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.