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Doggy Instructions

 Snorts – you see this is a funny story. There comes a time in a little doggie’s life that he needs a bath.  Some things are instilled in a pet’s mind that he knows what is coming.  This is one of those times.  I got to watch from the sidelines and took some pictures… and of course snorted a couple of times here and there.  You know because of the little guys antics.  He can really be funny when he wants to be.

See first there was the, “Houdini come here it’s bath time.”  As soon as I heard those words, I knew it was on for some fun times.  See, I don’t run from bath time.  I enjoy bath time.  I think it’s fun to stomp my feet and blow bubbles in the water.  Houdini on the other hand, he likes to be a clown.

He ran around the front room hiding.  In fact, you can see him in this picture.  He thinks since you can’t see his face, you can’t see him… regardless of the point that his wahoo is in the air – snorts with piggy laughter.  What a clown huh?

 But it gets better.  I ran into the bathroom where mommy was headed once Houdini was caught.  Once caught, he was fine.  He cuddled and played and licked mommy. That’s when I noticed it in the bathroom.  You are asking what pig – what did you notice?

Look at this bottle and what is marked – here you go:

“Remember to eliminate all escape routes and in advance (a tip: once your pet is slippery wet he or she is suddenly smarter and faster than you are.)”

Oh my goodness – who writes these instructions?  I want to high hoof them – it’s great!  It’s fantastic.  It made me oink!  It made mom oink…. okay maybe laugh or chuckle or maybe snort.

 But all is good afterwards.  Look at the cute little poochie now.  All squeaky clean.  Sparkly if you will.

And if you look a long time at the picture, it starts to look like Houdini is smiling.  So maybe… just maybe… I’m not the only one who enjoys a nice bath.

What do you think?  You think he enjoyed the bath?

Oh and I have to give it to the little guy – excellent choice in hide and go seek.  Butts up anyone?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

 
28 Comments

Posted by on 05/21/2015 in Bacon, Houdini

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon, Just sitting here minding my own business enjoying a cool one after a long day of chasing the mailman and purr things from my kingdom of a yard.  Then the human comes home and has to snap this picture.  What?  Haven’t you ever seen a pooch relax before?  Signed Coors Doggy

Dear Coors Doggy,  I don’t get it either my friend.  Just a pooch, dressed up drinking a beer.  What could your human be thinking with taking a picture?  Doesn’t he do the same thing?  In fact when he does, why don’t you take *his* picture and let him see what it feels like to be disturbed from your happy place..


 20131208-212826.jpgDear Bacon,  The humans don’t believe me Bacon.  There I was in the kitchen with this rotisserie chicken in the package.  Dog’s honor, the chicken exploded out of the package.  Yeah, that’s it.  It exploded out of the package and ran away.  Why do the humans think we did this?  Signed Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty

 Dear Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty,  WOW!  I think you need to call your local police department on this one…. maybe Ripley’s Believe it or Not.  I can see the headlines now – “Rotisserie Chicken Jumps out of Packaging and Flees”.  Uh-oh.  Wait a minute.  You better rethink that.  What if that gets out that you two strong, husky protect dogs let an innocent little chicken flee from the safety confines of your home.  This won’t end well.  Perhaps you better come up with a better story.  How good was that chicken?


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Dear Bacon, Ssshhsss – I’m trying to blendsss in here in the hood.  I don’t thinksss anyone seessss me yet.  I just hope the neighborsss don’t try to hand up any signsss here.  I could be busted if they do.  Signed Hide and Seeksss Champ

Dear Hide and Seeksss Champ,  Gulps.  I may never look at a phone poll the same way ever again my friend.  You blend so well.  Your colors – wow!  I’m amazed at your climbing skills of going up and not falling off.

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Dear Bacon,  One word buddy – OUCH!  Snoopy made this look so easy.  Trust me my friend.  It is not.  I may never be able to bark like a big dog ever again.  Do not try this at home.  Signed Help Me

Dear Help Me, WOW!  Watch out Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme.  I think you have some skills there my friend.  Probably more now that you’ll never be able to reproduce again – snorts.


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Dear Bacon,   First we put flour on the board and then crack some eggs.  What?  You don’t do the cooking at the Hotel Thompson?  Oh buddy – you so have to learn in case the humans go on vacation again.  These days, I take care of myself.  When the humans leave, I hit the fridge and freezer for some culinary delights.  If you want to learn to cook, I’m your dog!  Signed Chef Poo Chie Lagasse

Dear Chef Poo Chie Lagasse, Sign me up for some lessons my friend.  I think all anipals should learn how to cook.  I’m good… as long as there is no pork on the menu 🙂


REMEMBER friends Dear Bacon can’t happen without your letters and pictures.  Please continue to send them to me for our Dear Bacon issues.  Snorts and thanks!

 
18 Comments

Posted by on 04/14/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Hey there.  Our names are Chill and Squeal.  We are pleased to meet you piggy.  We would love to meet you one day and have some fun. It sounds like we have a lot in common – play, eating, hiding, eating, rolling around, eating, hibernating until Spring, eating.  See, don’t you think?  And don’t worry about Chill’s sharp teeth in his picture.  He doesn’t use them much.  Signed Chill and Squeal

Dear Chill and Squeal – Well don’t ya’ll look like hospitality charm.  I say if you are in the area, check me out.  I’m all for new adventures – especially when eating is involved.  Perhaps we can give the purr things here a run for their money.  Just sayin’.  And what cute little sweaters – adorable!


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Dear Bacon -ssshh – don’t say a word.  We are playing hide and go seek from the purr things.  I think we found *the* spot.  We have been under here for almost two hours and the purr things haven’t even been in the room.  Awesome huh?  Signed Hide and Seek

Dear Hide and Seek –  Playing with the purr things, huh?  First let me commend you on your hiding spot.  It is most excellent indeed.  Secondly let me tell you something about pesky purr things.  They put you up to hide – are you ready for this? – to get ricd of you.  And to think, they succeeded for two hours in not having you around.  My friends, this calls for payback.  Go hide their kitty boxes.  I dare say *that* would be the ultimate pay back in hide and seek.  And maybe that would teach them not to mess with the dogs!.


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 Dear Bacon –  There is nothing to do in the winter weather except crawl up in front of the fireplace, don some glasses and read the great American novel.  Here I am reading about Rin-Tin-Tin.  It’s a great read full of adventures that we just can’t do in these cold months ourselves.  What’s your favorite thing to do in the cold months?  Signed Sir Chomps

Dear Sir Chomps –  Awesome my friend.  Reading is a great way to pass the time and live in another place for a while.  These cold months can be so awful and cold.  My favorite thing in the winter is being wrapped in my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet and dreaming of days of warmth and fun in the Spring.  It’s a great way to stay warm..


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Dear Bacon – You talk about your piggy bed all of the time.  I just wanted to show you mine.  Here I am chilling in the morning after the staff have went to work.  It’s my favorite part of the day.  A great nap followed by a snack following by another nap before the people get home.  You like?  Signed Dog in a Bed

Dear Dog in a Bed –  Hey, you are *MY* kind of friend.  I love me some sleep somewhere comfy and warm.  I say go for it!  And your routine ROCKS!  One can never have too many naps or snacks.


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Dear Bacon – I just had *that* surgery where the aliens came down and kidnapped my best friends if you know what I mean.  The only great thing is they sent me home all drugged… which I highly recommend.  Thank goodness I read about this procedure from when your Houdini had his so I knew what to expect from the alien invasion.  Dude, those little green guys can be vicious can’t they?  Signed I’m a Happy Dog

Dear I’m a Happy Dog –  Happy huh?  I know that’s the medicine talking pal.  Just think in a couple of days, the aliens will have erased all of this pain and discomfort from your mind.  Until then, enjoy the drugs 🙂

.


REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending me your pictures and questions to my email. 🙂

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 02/24/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Sammy – Special Edition

Today, we have a very special Dear Bacon issue – it’s called Dear Sammy. My cousin Sammy is going to fill in for me today and do his own edition. Be sure to go visit Sammy when you get a chance and tell him what a great job he did. Thanks cousin!!

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20140414-092942.jpgDear Sammy,

This is what I’m talking about. See, I’m so tough that the big kitties act like I’m not even there. They don’t mess with me, even when I growl at them. Can you control big cats too? Signed Ferocious Kitty

Dear Ferocious Kitty

I think you are obviously handling the big kitty situation at your house just fine. I can tell by the way those big cats are walking right by and NOT looking at you that they are truly intimidated by your presence. They hear your growl of warning and just keep on walking. You are destined for greatness – they already made the “The Lion King” but I’m thinking perhaps you could star in “The Ginger and White King”? Can I be your agent?.

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20140414-092953.jpgDear Sammy,

There’s nothing to see here. Really. I’m just massaging the dogs face. Yep. That’s it. Really. Signed Face Stomper

Dear Face Stomper

I’m not sure if that dog is so drugged up from whatever operation he had that caused him to have to wear the Cone of Shame that he doesn’t FEEL you there or if you truly are performing some kind of facial massage. But he doesn’t seem to mind either way so I say GO FOR IT. I’ve never been *that* close to a woofie before but ‘more power to ya’ is what I say.

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Dear Sammy,
Help. I’ve been mugged. The humans here have such a whacky sense of humor. What am I to do? Signed Puppy Mugged

Dear Puppy Mugged,

If I was in a bar (which I’m not) and I ordered a brewski (which I wouldn’t) and they served me with a mug full of adorable puppy like you, I’d be pretty darn happy (as long as I could train you to meow instead of bark of course). However, I would NOT leave the barmaid a tip. When a guy orders a brewski, he does not expect it to have eyes looking back at him!

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20140414-093021.jpg Dear Sammy,
Oh dear Lord. I am not a chia dog. The humans found this get up and took advantage of it. Help. Please. Signed Chi-Chia Dog

Dear Chi-Chia Dog

After I finally stopped laughing, I realized the only way to improve on this outfit would be if your humans had put orange sneakers on your feet… the non-clay-colored feet ruin the effect! I think your humans are si-si-si-silly!

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Dear Sammy,
Look closer. To the left. Down a bit. There you go. Signed #1 Hide and Go Seek

 

Dear #1 Hide and Go Seek

This is totally CUTE… but the more I thought about it the more I realized why it sort of creeped me out too… why? Because it almost looks like your little head is coming OUT of that bear’s belly (think “Alien”)!!! See what I mean? EEEEEEKKKK!!

.

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Remember friends – send your pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com – thanks so much!

 
65 Comments

Posted by on 04/22/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Bashful Hide and Seek

Bashful – he’s a good pebble.  He tries to stay out of trouble.  Sometimes it works – sometimes not so much.  Last night, we were playing hide and seek in the house.  I can’t tell you how many times I walked by the table and saw this napkin.  It never dawned on me one single time that the little fella would be underneath it sleeping.

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The only thing that *finally* gave him away was that he had to go to the potty.  If it wasn’t for that, he would still be under the napkin on the table hiding.  And mom/dad, they weren’t much help.  I think dad was actually the one that suggested that great hiding place.  Where’s dad when *I* want to hide, huh?  Perhaps I should hide dad’s remote control and see how he likes to hunt for things for hours at a time – snorts.

Just another fun night at the Hotel Thompson.  How was your night?     

 

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 06/19/2013 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

Lots of times when the humans go to work, I just have a lazy day.  I will go out back, climb into the little fabric thingy and take a siesta.  It’s actually very comfortable.  Have you ever tried this?  Signed, Sleepy Pooch

Dear Sleepy Pooch,

It actually does look most comfortable.  I’ve never seen one in real life – just on the net and television commercials.  You can’t really hang one in the house cause you know I’m anti-nature boy right now.  I’m working on that though in therapy.  I’ll keep you posted about my future endeavors with that fabric thingy.

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

There is *nothing* like hanging in the bed of a pick up truck, going fast and feeling the wind pass your face giving you this special look.  When dad says, “Let’s go for a ride”, I’m there in the back of the truck before he can unlock it and buckle in.  You’ve gotta get over this nature anxiety and try this.  It’s a hoot!  It’s kind of like the amusement park Six Flags for dogs 🙂  Signed, Wind in my Face

Dear Wind in my Face,

Well my friend, that is quite the look you have there.  I kind of like it.  It does look refreshing and I have to admit that it does kind of look fun.  I’m all for a little excitement in life.  Maybe once I’m done with my therapy, I’ll give it a shot!

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

Don’t judge.  It’s hard work to maintain this alluring and sexy look.  You should know all about hard work in maintaining your excellent physique.  Signed Curlers

Dear Curlers,

No judgement here my friend.  You look kind of cute with those pink things in your hair. 

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

Last night, we took your advice and watched one of your paranormal ghost shows that you talk about at times.  Oh dear Lord – those things are scary!  I was trying to cover my buddies eyes so he wouldn’t see the worst parts.  I don’t know how we made it through the entire show.  Of course, afterwards we had to sleep with the lights on.  How do you watch these things little pig??  Signed Scaredy Clan

Dear Scaredy Clan,

You poor things.  I usually watch them with my mom.  Did you two watch them all by yourselves?  Bless your little hearts.  You *have* to watch them with the humans.  That way they shield you from all of the scarey moments.

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

My friends are really mean squirrels. We all decided to play hide and go seek in the neighborhood.  I jumped up, closed my eyes and began to count nuts to 20 thinking that everyone would be hiding.  What I didn’t know was that instead of hiding, they all surrounded me and watched me counting nuts.  One of them actually took this picture and has spread it all over the internet – the nerve!  What’s a little guy to do my friend?  Signed Cheated

Dear Cheated,

One word – Retaliation.  I can hook you up with two of the finest – Journalist Rocky the Squirrel and Evil Squirrel here on WordPress.  They can help you come up with the best way to get back at those tricky little friends of yours.  Hey – it’s all fun and games, right?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on 06/11/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Can I Get a Little Help Please

This poster is driving me CRAZY and trust me some days it is a very short trip!  I can find that crazy cat Tom but I absolutely can not find that small little mouse called Jerry.  Can you help me out?  Can you find him and point me in the right direction?  Mom and dad are even going crazy with this picture.  I know he’s in there somewhere!

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9 Comments

Posted by on 04/14/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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