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Dear Bacon

20131106-104329.jpgDear Bacon,

My human thought she would bring me to work today.  As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done.  Well, my mom didn’t.  I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day.  I wonder why?  Signed Shrimp

Dear Shrimp,

Smiles and wipes piggy eyes.  Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while.  I just want to rub that little belly of yours.  You must have really been tired little guy.  Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy.  I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!

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Dear Bacon,

I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not.  We are buds.  He watches my back and I watch his.  We have the most interesting conversations at our house.  Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us?  Signed Tom and Jerry

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Ya’ll have a great point.  We *should* all just get along in this world.  There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another.  Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!

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20131106-104815.jpgDear Bacon,

I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown.  I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good.  Any suggestions for next time?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

I have to laugh buddy.  They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong.  You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’.  You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend.  Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open.  It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.

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Dear Bacon,

What?  Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before?  It gets cold.  I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do.  My feathers only provide so much for warmth.  I think it’s a great idea.  We should all have one, you think?  Signed Fun Times

Dear Fun Times,

I think it’s great!  You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie.  I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think.  As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!

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Dear Bacon,

I need help.  I know you have Bashful.  Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock.  My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me.  I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything.  Any suggestions- can you help me out?  Signed Bug

Dear Bug,

I am so sorry little guy.  Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful.  You have to have exercise.  Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise.  Does he take you out for social time, watching television?  Heck, if anything else, you need a friend.  You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you.  I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.

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Remember Anipals – if you have a problem or a question, please send it to me with a picture at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
19 Comments

Posted by on 11/12/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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The Great Pig Escape – Midnight Adventure

I got my first ouchie tonight.  I guess that’s not bad considering I’ve been ouchie free for the past year of my life.  But darn it – it hurts.  It was my fault.  Let me admit that first.  This is what happened.

Last night, mom put me to bed.  At night, I sleep in this huge crate.  The door of the crate actually ‘use’ to shut on its own.  Shakes piggy head – yeah I might have done that.  Mom and dad use a bungy cord to shut it now.  I have to have it shut at night.  First of all, it’s my safety zone and second of all – do you really want a pig loose in the house while you sleep at night?  Take it first hand from me, it’s not a good idea. 

So last night, mom kisses me goodnight and puts me to bed as usual.  Well, I’m a pig…curious by nature if you will.  I decided to see if I could get out of my crate to go play throughout the house. Insert James Bond music now.  Sounded like an awesome idea to me, right?  So, I kept pushing against my door until I saw a little opening it.  I’ve seen the cats do this so I know it works.  What they didn’t explain to me was that they’re mostly fur and squeeze through small openings.  I on the other hand don’t have so much fur.  I’m all belly.  I held my breath in and squeeze through.  Well, I by pushing through I scraped the top part of my back – ouchie!  But on the other hand, I was FREE! 

The first place I went was the front room.  Of course I brought blankie with me…. you know there’s nothing like seeing a miniature pot bellied pig dragging a king size blankie down the hall and throughout the house.  I jumped on the couches, I pushed all of the pillows off of the couch and I jumped on them repeatedly.  I pulled all of my toys out of the playbox, I played with them and then I moved to the kitchen when I got bored.

The kitchen is a wonderful place.  The piggy gate wasn’t closed because everyone was asleep.  Snicker – good for me.  The kitchen is where all of the food comes from.  I know this because I watch mommy in there making magic.  I waddled over to the big black food box.  With enough pressure from my snout, I was able to open the magical door.  A light went on and it scared me.  I jumped back and the magical door slid open.  WOW – for a moment I actually thought I heard angels singing.  I went over to investigate the glow and stuck my snout in the door.  SHUT THE FRONT DOOR – that thing was COLD – shivers.  I started moving things around and everything was as hard as a rock.  This must be what they call the freeze box.  Darn it – wrong part of the refrigerator.  I looked up to see the fridge part above the freezer.  Darn these short legs.  I couldn’t reach that part.

I guess I made some loud noises in my midnight adventure.  A few minutes later, mom came around the corner slowly peaking into the kitchen.  That’s how she found me.  Sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, freezer open with that magical glow licking ice.  So, yeah, I guess it was fun and giggles at that time until she saw my back.  After that, she kind of freaked out and lost it.  She started getting fussy and playing doctor with it.  Geez mom, it’s just a little scrape.  She made me take some godforsaken medicine and put bubble stuff on my back.  Afterwards, she gave me a treat (which is always good), I went potty and she walked me back to bed. 

Yes, we also had a little prayer meeting about the Great Pig Escape and Midnight Adventure.  I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.

 

 
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Posted by on 10/09/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Deviled Ham

 

20120801-102906.jpgDoes this look like the face of trouble?  Of course not, right?  Mommy was calling me deviled ham yesterday.  I might have gotten into a little trouble.  But you have to admit good kids have bad days. 

I’ve learned a wonderful thing.  Usually, mom and dad let me sleep in my piggy crate at night.  You know, so I don’t get into any trouble.  Well, I’m a big boy.  I don’t need a piggy crate.  Well, I’ve kind of learned how to escape it.  See, I’m smart like that.  Pigs are very intellectual.  We see how things work and we practice on it until we get it right.  Mom and dad learned that yesterday.

Dad put me down for my nap while mom was at work.  Oh I went to sleep for a while.  But then I got up and escaped.  Smile – grin.  My bedroom door was closed so I entertained myself.  I moved my piggy crate.  I knocked over the trash can and shredded everything in it.  I played with all of my toys.  I moved my blankies around.  Dad heard me and came into the room.  He fussed at me a little bit and made me help him clean up my room.  All was good.

Then later, mom put me down for my evening nap while they ate dinner.  I just wanted to show her what I could do.  So, I escaped again.  She left my door shut as well.  I moved my crate.  I pulled out my blankies and pillows.  I dumped the trash can and shredded everything much better this time all over the room.  I might have even pulled on the curtain a bit near my south window… just a little.  When mom came to let me out she was shocked and surprised.  Her little boy is growing up.  Okay, she did fuss a bit more than dad.  She called me deviled ham instead of sweet Bacon.  She actually made me help her sweep everything back up and put everything back in its place. 

She wasn’t mad too long though.  We went into the front room afterwards and she fed me an orange and rubbed my belly for a long time.  She’s forgiving like that.  We did have a long prayer meeting about what I can and can’t do.  When mom and dad tucked me in for the night in my crate, I stayed all night…. this time.  🙂

 

 
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Posted by on 08/01/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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