Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m a clown in the circus.  I love working in the circus except for one thing – I don’t like when people squeeze my red nose.  Other than that, it’s a blast.  Signed Pancho the Donkey Clown

Dear Pancho the Donkey Clown – That’s *all* you worry about?  People squeezing your red nose?  Not your clothes, the hat or the make-up.

Just the people squeezing your nose?  Dude, go with it!  Have fun at a job you love and earn your money while you can.

Maybe one day you can move to that donkey retirement community you’ve been looking into.

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Dear Bacon – I’m a happy pooch now.  I had some problems with my teeth and my master took me to the dentist.

I am so happy with the results!  AND he put in a little bling for me.  What do you think?  Signed Smiling Pooch

❤

Dear Smiling Pooch – Well, your smile brought a smile to my face – it must be working.  You do look really happy in that picture.

And, I kind of like the bling.  Your master must really love you my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes in life, we just have to stop and smell the roses.  You know, take each day one day at a time and focus in on the moment.  I’m a lot more relaxed these days doing that.  Signed Goat of Leisure.

❤

Dear Goat of Leisure – Yes my friend.  You do look really relaxed in that floatie.  I think I may have to take some time today to enjoy the moment.  Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts.

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Dear Bacon – We have a game in the house where us purr things get into the boxes that are attached by the string.  The string is attached to the barky thing that pulls us around the house.  It’s really kind of fun.

Maybe you can use this traveling method for your purr things?  Signed Sliding Kitties

❤

Dear Sliding Kitties – Yes I think that would be perfect for the purr things here.  *I* can get in a box and *they* can pull me around the house.

Perhaps they can bow down to me as well – snort.  It does look like a fun way to travel through the house!

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Dear Bacon – It’s cold outside in this weather.  Betsy and I have been knitting and this is what we came up with.  It’s quite the hit on the farm.  It did take us a while to knit it though – it’s hard knitting with your beaks.  What do you think?  Signed Two Cold Chicks

Dear Two Cold Chicks – That is very creative.  I’m kind of digging it.  Do you think you ladies can create something for me?  I would cherish it and wear it forever!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Humans *think* they can get us.  I’ve got a few tricks up my fur.  I’ve created the Slam-o-helmet.  It protects my little noggin so I don’t get hurt.  Cause you know, I gotta have my cheese.  Clever, huh? Signed Smarty Mouse

❤

Dear Smarty Mouse – That is very clever!  I am very proud of you little fellow.  Still, be careful because you know what happens with only ONE wrong move.  It could be a major ouchie!

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Dear Bacon – You’re not the only animal with his own room.  I have my own room too.  In fact, I have a big boy bed and not just some toddler bed.  What do you think?  Signed Billy The King of the Pillow

❤

Dear Billy The King of the Pillow – I am impressed my goat friend.  Those colors are very becoming with the color of your fur.  See, we are totally blessed to have our own space inside of the house.  I’m not hatin – I think it’s fantastic my friend!

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Dear Bacon – We were walking down the street and we saw each other.  We were both like “BRO”.  You know we had to show a little man love.  What?  You never seen two crocs hugging?  It’s the happening thing right now.  Signed Dos Crocs

❤

Dear Dos Crocs – I think it’s great.  I’ve seen women walking down the street clutching croc purses but never two crocs hugging.  I’m sure it freaked a few people out but hey maybe they just needed a hug or two as well.  Love the friendship!

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Dear Bacon – You know being a purr thing is hard.  We run around the house, we protect the humans from crawley things, we get into everything imaginable and look out the window all day.  It’s a hard life.  By the end of the day, there’s nothing much else to do but pass out on a comfortable spot.  But that’s okay, we trust our humans so we can stretch out without fear.  Signed – Sleeping Kitties

❤

Dear Sleeping Kitties – I understand perfectly about taking care of your kingdom.  I do the same.  And I agree.  It’s hard work.  I also have a tendency to stretch and pass out on the couch with mom after a long strenuous day.  I trust her as well when I go belly up and snore.  You look really comfortable my friends.  Continue on!

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Dear Bacon – My name is Tiny and I’m in charge.  I have a partner in crime named Sasquatch.  Together, we can not lose.  We run around the neighborhood… okay Sasquatch runs and I ride.  We are invincible.  He is my friend and my protector.  We have a wonderful friendship.  Don’t you agree?  Signed Tiny and Sasquatch

❤

Dear Tiny and Sasquatch – Hey, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.  I think ya’ll look cute together.  Ride on and have fun!!  Life is too short.

 

Spotlight Thursday – Meet Rocky and Bullwinkle

Spotlight Thursday

Welcome my friends to SPOTLIGHT THURSDAY.  This is the time that I will introduce you to one of my fellow anipals so you can get to know them better.  Some of them, you may already know.  We hope that you enjoy this series!

❤ Rocky and Bullwinkle are Facebook friends.  They will be checking in throughout the day to answer any comments/questions.  Let’s welcome them ❤

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Name:  Rocky and Bullwinkle

Age:   One years young

Location:  Cumming, Georgia

Web/Blog Page:  Facebook – Rocky and Bullwinkle

What were your first thoughts when you met your new parents?   Our dad was scary at first.  He had to chase us to get us in the crate.  We ran away but eventually he caught us.  He was very nice but it was scary being placed in the back of the truck.  When we got to our new home, we met our mommy who was very beautiful ❤ and she was so nice to us.  We knew right away our mommy really loved us.

What was the defining moment when you knew you were in your forever home?  After finishing our job of eating all of the ivy and brush, we knew they fell in love with us and built us a house.  And our new fur mom Sierra loved us a lot.

What has been your biggest “Oh no, now I’ve done it” moment so far in your home?   Rocky here.  My big no-no was good.  I escaped out of the fence.  That’s bad enough but wait for it.  I then ate mom’s favorite plant.  Okay yeah that was definitely bad but wait for it.  I then jumped on the table outside and pooped on it.  Yeah, and they still kept me.  If nothing shows love, that does.  Bullwinkle here.  My big no-no wasn’t as bad as Rocky’s – trust me on that.  The worst I do is maybe scream and maybe complain when I’m hungry.  But don’t you complain when you’re hungry?

 Who do you have wrapped around your paws more – mom or dad – and why?  Rocky here.  I’m like dad.  People actually call us two peas in a pod and say that me and dad think the same and act crazy.  Bullwinkle here.  I’m very close to mom.  We love each very much!

What’s the biggest misconception that humans think about you?  People think us goats eat tin cans – we don’t even like the taste!  Actually we are very intelligent and we put things in/out of our mouths because that’s how we find out what things are like – you know like how dogs smell things.  And if anyone gets a goat, we need to come in pairs.  We don’t do well without a friend.  And let me tell you, a lonely goat is a bad goat.  And we are very loving.  We can act like big goofy dogs.♥

This is us – Rocky and Bullwinkle – with Sierra.  Happy Trails!

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Hope you enjoyed meeting my friend – check back next week for another Spotlight edition!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What kind of joke is this?  Do you see these mysterious copy dog’s on my bed?  Please – there is only *one* king cat in this family.  End of discussion.  These have got to be imposters! Signed Lord Kitty

Dear Lord Kitty – How dare them try to get in on your royalty.  I say push them off the bed.  Show them who’s boss.  I don’t think it will hurt them – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’m really practicing on my please look.  I think I *almost* have it down pact.  What do you think?  Would you give in and give me what I was begging for?  Signed Please Sir

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Dear Please Sir – Oh my!  Oliver Twist has nothing on you my friend.  I think you have the “please sir may I have another look” down to a T.  Really I do.  Perhaps, I a mere piggy should take lessons from you.  With that pose, you are certainly going to get anything you beg for!

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Dear Bacon – Just me hanging out with my lady love on a Saturday night watching some television.  The humans think we look funny.  What say you our pal?  Signed Two in Love

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Dear Two in Love  – I say you two look hopelessly in love with all of your hearts.  You don’t look funny at all.  Maybe the humans are jealous?

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 Dear Bacon – If there is a box, we must fit.  You know how us purr things can be.  Who cares what came in the box, we want to be in the box.  This is me and my brother doing what we do best.  Do you like boxes as much as we do?  Signed Twin Kitties

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Dear Twin Kitties – That is adorable my friends.  It really is.  You got you a condo going on right there in that picture – snorts.  Me, I don’t like ‘sleeping’ in boxes but I do love destroying boxes.  Just give me five minutes alone with a box.  That’s all I ask.  I will have the bestest of all times!

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Dear Bacon – What?  You know at Old McDonald’s farm, it gets hot during the summer months.  This is a picture of what the old man himself helped us out with last year.  He gave us all tubes and let us sit and relax down our little lake on the property.  It was a ball!  You come visit and I’m sure Old McDonald will be glad to do the same for you.  Signed Billy the Kid

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Dear Billy the Kid – OMP (oh my pig!)  That looks like so much fun!  I will definitely get with mom and see if I can come over for a visit this summer.  Heck, I want to tube down the lake myself for some fun… as long as there are no alligators, crocodiles, anacondas, piranhas or sea monsters.  Other than that, I’m so there 🙂

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* Remember friends, keep your questions/pictures coming *

 

Jokes with Anipals

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – I made the mistake one day of showing my human that I had skills.  I know my way around under the hood.  And, I’m small so I can get into all of those hard to reach places.  Well since he found out, he’s put me to work at the garage.  I’m his ‘secret weapon’ that no one sees.  So the next time you get your car worked on, think about me.  Signed Monkey Wrench

Dear Monkey Wrench – Oh my piggy heavens!  Now the secret is out.  No wonder it always costs mom/dad and arm and a leg when they take their Jeep in for service.  The secret weapon is working on it.  WOW – I think you do have skills my little friend.  AND I do hope that your human knows that the price is high to maintain an excellent worker of your caliber.  You enjoy your tinkering!

 

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Dear Bacon – After a while, one gets tired of waiting for the master to feed us.  Sometimes we have to take matters into our own paws.  I did just that.  I started a garden in the backyard.  Most dogs hide their bones but I on the other paw want to make food.  All kinds of delectable tastings so when I get hungry all I have to do is take a walk.  And don’t worry about watering – I have that covered if you know what I mean – barks!  Signed Farmer Pooch

Dear Farmer Pooch – hey I like the idea of having my walking grocery store in my own backyard.  I agree with all that you say… except for maybe the personal watering part.  I do hope that you wash that food before ingesting… just sayin’.  But in the meantime, do you think you can grow me some strawberries and watermelons?  I would really appreciate that my friend.  Thanks!

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 Dear Bacon –  There I was romping around the farm minding my own business.  That’s when my human picked me up to go shopping.  Heck I don’t mind.  I was already dressed and not doing much anyway.  So we went to our local hardware store so that they could get some material for the fences.  I sat in the kid seat minding my own business like a good little toddler.  So nothing to see here – just a kid in a buggy.  Do you like going out on field trips like this?  If so, where have you been?  Was it fun?  Did you sit in the buggy?  Signed Romping Kid

Dear Romping Kid – Now that is a vision to behold my friend.  Just a kid riding around in a buggy at the local hardware store.  What’s to see, right?  You look good and let me add that you probably acted better than some two legged kids in the store.  Am I right?  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Once when mom took me to the vet, we stopped by our local Home Depot store to pick up a few things.  Mom had my Radio Flyer in the Jeep with her.  She pulled it out, helped me in it and pulled me through the store.  It was also a vision to behold.  A pig being pulled in a Radio Flyer through the Home Depot.  I met a lot of people like I’m sure you did this date on your visit.

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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  Mom put some milk in her cup.  She set the cup on the counter in front of me.  It was like she was inviting me to take a sip so I did.  Then she started snapping pictures like a Chinese tourist here at Walt Disney World.  I don’t get it.  And laughing – oh my gosh – I thought the woman was going to hurt herself she was laughing so hard.  Shaking my head – humans are weird.  Signed Nosey Kitty

Dear Nosey Kitty – Oh my goodness my friend.  I have to admit that *I* almost hurt myself snorting so hard looking at that picture.  Look closely – you can almost smell the fun factor – oh my gosh – I’m killing myself here.  It’s a great picture my friend.  Don’t worry.  Your human was just having fun – of course at your expense – but I have to admit it was hilarious.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures ❤

 

Horny

Remember friends – safety first.  What were you thinking?  Snorts with piggy laughter!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What are friends?  Friends let you have the soft spot so that you can snuggle down and sleep.  This is my pal Henry.  He is the bestest friend in the entire world.  I was so tired and he didn’t want me to sleep on the hard ground so he offered his back just like a perfect gentleman.  I want your readers to take note – always put your friends first.  Signed Betsy

Dear Betsy – That is absolutely wonderful and delightful to see.  Friendship is so important and that my friend is awesome to see in today’s time and day.  I know that if someone wanted a soft place to sleep, I would gladly give up my back for a couple of hours or so.  I say spread the news – more love and less hate!

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  Dear Bacon – Hey pal.  This is me at the spa.  I love the spa treatments but I hate water in my ears.  So my spa lady, she came up with the best idea – a shower cap.  Might I say this is genius!  And yeah, if you look closely in m picture you will also see my spa buddy – my rubber ducky – hanging out with me.  Do you have this much at the spa?  Signed Dewey

Dear Dewey – WOW – No my friend.  I can’t say that I personally have that much fun at the spa.  Now my little brother Houdini, he might.  Last time he went to the spa, mom walked in on him chatting up with a cute little poodle that he met.  I’ve heard that the spa is the next best thing to Animal Harmony in meeting other anipals.  Let me know – have you found love there at your spa?

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  Dear Bacon – I admit it.  I didn’t jump hard or far enough.  I was shooting for the table where there was some food.  I may have underestimated and hit the garbage can.  Yep the humans heard.  Nope they didn’t help.  Of course they had to take a picture of my unfortunate landing for Facebook before rescuing me.  Isn’t that some kind of goat abuse or something?  Signed Merlin

Dear Merlin – Really?  Your humans took a picture of your unfortunate landing huh?  Well, might I suggest the next time your humans get – what does my mommy call it – tossed, take their picture.  What?  You don’t know what tossed is?  That’s when the humans drink that alcohol stuff too much and act whacky.  My mom calls it tossed.  Apparently they act worse then some anipals we know when they do this.  Have your camera aimed and ready to shoot their pictures my friends.  Karma is payback – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – What?  The humans left me alone all day long in this tiny little area to entertain myself while they went to work.  First up, no toys.  Therefore I had to find my own.  I can’t help it that those paper towels decided to blow up during our adventures together.  At least I didn’t destroy what the humans call their crap paper.  See, I’ve read on your Dear Bacon issues how important those rolls are to humans.  I still don’t get it.  We just crap and kick over it – done.  End of discussion.  Second up, there were lots of interesting wires and tube looking things behind the so called washer and dryer.  At least they didn’t start anything with me to finish.  So basically, I was a good dog, right?  So where’s my treat?  Signed Jinx

Dear Jinx – I like the way you think my friend.  If those towels had not talked back, they would still be worthy opponents this day.  I find no fault with that whatsoever.  And I do agree with you on the other.  I myself find the “crap and kick over” method worthy of moving along.  I mean heck I think if more humans did that, they would be a lot less stressed.  Maybe we can start a campaign or something?

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  Dear Bacon – Get in the car and let’s go!  I heard that Petsmart is giving out free cat treats to the first 100 customers.  They didn’t say those customers had to be humans.  We can do this – I can drive this car – sure I can.  BEEP BEEP Get out of the way humans.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix – You know I think I’m with you.  That’s honesty in advertising.  If they didn’t say humans, why not?  I wonder if I can pick up a few treats and toys while we are there.  I’ll grab dad’s credit card just in case.  I’ll be ready in five minutes!

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REMEMBER my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures via email. ❤ 

 

Dear Easy – Special Edition

September we have been highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s last special edition is by my brother Easy.  If you don’t know Easy, you *must* go visit him and check him out.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

 

 

 Dear Easy,
Last night was great. My human dropped a pill on the floor. The next thing she knew, I ate it. I’m not sure what it was but I want more. I was so happy. So giggly. So alive! What do you think it was? Signed Feeling No Pain

Dear Feeling No Pain,
I bet it was a blue pill with a rhombic shape… they are the pills that lift anything up… really anything and anybody…. Those kind of pills you can buy when you check your spam folder. No worries that you could be fooled by a hoax, the offers start always with “Dear Friend…” and friends never fool you, right?

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Dear Easy,
I think we may be related. Can’t you see the resemblance? The eyes? The nose? Maybe the good looks? I think we may even be twins separated at birth. What do you think? Signed Mirror Image

Dear Mirror Image,
It seems you are really my twin… what’s sad, because I’m sick of my singleness… butt maybe that’s just the first impression and there is a chance that we are related butt not by blood? I can see some differences on your right ear and on your nose, what’s missing the scratch I wear . Please check your pedigree and call me immediately!

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Dear Easy,
I’m so pretty. I’m so fun. I’m so exciting on the farm. My human knitted my outfit for me and I love it! Don’t you? What size are you? I can get you one too so we can both have fun, fun, FUN! Signed Pretty in Pink

Dear Pretty in Pink,
Thanks that I have the chance to meet you. You must be the longlost twin of my mom. She wore exactly the same outfit like you, as they brought her home from hospital or wherever they found her.. Do you remember her? She just has no horn, butt probably hers grows inwards… Oh and btw: I’m a size XS…that means xtremely sloshed :o)

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Dear Easy,
They see me rolling and they’re hating. My pops bought me this get up and I highly recommend it. You want to know why? Because it attracts the ladies. What do you wear to attract the ladies? Signed Ladies Pup

Dear Ladies Pup,
You have a very wise Pops. He knows that all girls have a shoe-obsession and that a butt is a good butt in the perfect jeans. Oh and to wear sunglasses your way has something of James Dean, I agree. Girls love rebells, so they will open you their heart and their treat packs. I have to admit that I’m a professed nudist, but maybe that’s the reason that I’m still single?

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Dear Easy,
I got busted. Here’s the proof – thanks to my humans. During the day while they were at work, I got into the garbage can. I thought I was safe until this contraption got stuck on my head. Dude I couldn’t get it off. Any tips for my future escapades? Signed Lid of Shame

Dear Lid of Shame,
Your humans need a garbage can with an automatic lid, called Dive In in carnivore circles. That’s an essential equipment if they share their crib with a dog. Oh and I would remove that thingy before they come home… in worst case, next time they would save the money for a cone and try it with the lid of the treashure can…

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Thank you to all of my guests that helped me host my special editions for September.  Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
They always say that grass is always greener on the other side.  Well, I stuck my head through the fence to look at the other side.  And you know what?  It doesn’t look greener.  Can you hear what I’m saying pig?  It does *not* look greener.  Signed Mythbuster Goat

Dear Mythbuster Goat,
Thank you for letting me know that.  I’ve always wondered about the grass being greener on the other side.  I just never knew what the other side was.  Now I do.  You’ve helped *me* out so very much. 

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Dear Bacon,
What?  I’m only helping my brother out in getting all of the crumbs on the bottom of the bowl.  Really?  Cause you know all of the good stuff is on the bottom of the bowl.  Honestly.  Signed Chef Paw

Dear Chef Paw,
I will take your word for that.  Take it from an expert who is used to getting all of his crumbs, it’s much easier just to flip the bowl over.  That way, you can get some of the crumbs as well.  Just a tip my friend….and thank goodness your brother wasn’t drinking water.

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Dear Bacon,
I was having a dream that I was fixing to eat the biggest hot dog in the entire world.  It look so delicious.  I could almost taste it.  Then I woke up cause I bit my paw.  What a let down.  Do you ever dream of eating food?  Signed Dog Dreams

Dear Dog Dreams,
Snorticles.  Do I ever have those dreams – snorts.  That’s like asking me if I’m hungry.  Of course I have those dreams.  I can’t say though that I’ve ever tried to eat a paw or hoove.  My legs are too short to reach my mouth – thank goodness!That must have been a mighty good dream my friend.

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Dear Bacon,
Where are the clothes pins when you need them?  Sometimes I just need a few to pin back the wrinkles on my head.  That way, maybe my tongue wouldn’t fall out of my mouth when I’m sleeping.  You think?  Signed Rip Van Pup

Dear Rip Van Pup,
I feel you my friend.  I totally feel you.  Sometimes when I sleep, everything wonders into their own zipcode.  My mom feels the same way.  All it means though is you are totally relaxed and comfortable in your environment.  That’s a good thing. 

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Dear Bacon,
Bottoms up!  I saw the pictures you had of Bashful at Tybee Island last October.  They really intrigued me.  I thought I would stick my head in the ocean to see if I could find Sponge Bob and Patrick.  I didn’t see them but got a lot of water in my trunk.  And by the way, does this ocean make my butt look big?  Signed Scubaphant

Dear Subaphant,
I’m so sorry little guy.  Bashful saw Spongebob at Tybee last year because they were doing a movie on the island.  I think afterwards he went back home to Hawaii.  But I say, keep looking cause you never know where he might wash up on shore.  As far as your butt, it looks just fine.  I only wish mine was that cute!

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Friends – don’t forget to send your questions and pictures to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com