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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.  But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183833.jpgDear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


 

20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.  Not the one to do that at all my friend.


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Dear Bacon – I double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.


 

20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.  None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!

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Posted by on 06/06/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Bullseye

Oh my friends!  We here at the Hotel Thompson have been watching a new game show on television called Bullseye.  It is hosted by Kellan Lutz – you know him from Twlight (he played Emmett Cullen) and co-hosted by Godfrey who is a comedian on the Godfrey Complex.  This show is a combination of Wipe Out and Fear Factor.

It starts with 8 contestants (4 women and 4 men).  They have to go through three challenges.  By the beginning of the third challenge, they are down to 3 contestants to go up against each other to win $50,000!  So you think it’s easy to play?

They have different challenges that I’ve seen in the past couple of weeks.  One challenge had the contestants running down a MOVING train from the caboose to the engine.  Along the ways, they were throwing off bullseye’s that were attached to the side of the train.  Then they rushed to the front of the train and jumped off to hit the big bullseye to stop the train.  Don’t worry – they were all tied so they wouldn’t fall off the train or jump to far in front of the train to stop it.  But can you imagine doing this?  The quickest one that got all of the bullseyes removed, won the $50,000.  Not bad for a days work huh?

I’ve also seen it where they are attached to a cord hanging off of a helicopter.  They are swung through the air and have to throw big bean bags towards a bullseye on the ground.  They get two attempts and the closes bean bag to the bullseye target wins.  Sound fun swinging through the air?

The show airs on the Fox channel on Wednesday nights at 9:00 PM.  Mark your calendar to watch it this week.  We highly recommend it here at the Hotel Thompson.  In fact, I think I’m going to practice hitting some bullseye targets this week… where are those purr things to help me out?  Snorts!

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 06/09/2015 in Bacon

 

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Piggy Ramblings

I’ve got a lot on my piggy mind lately.  Nothing particular just aimless ramblings from my point of view.  I do a lot of listening around the Hotel Thompson.  Sometimes it’s better to listen than oink.  So today I’m going to share some of those things that I’ve heard.

Mom has an ear ache.  She told daddy she could hear it slushing.  I’m not sure what that means but it doesn’t sound good.

Houdini got groomed this week.  Now he’s walking around like he owns the place.  Go figure huh?

Coming up this week is a long weekend.  I’m glad.  I need some extra snuggles from mom.  I think she could use it too.

I’ve gotten more used to the feel of grass on my hooves.  I still don’t like it but I don’t hide from it anymore.  I still think of myself as more of an air conditioned piggy than a hot piggy.

There’s something big that has happened in my life.  I’m hoping to share more about it next month.  It’s huge.  It’s been a little over a month and I’ve been adjusting to it.  It’s big.  Heck, we’ve all been adjusting to it here at the Hotel Thompson.  Just wait until you find out about it.  You’ll be thrilled too.

Mom has started that DIEt thing again.  Lord help us all.  She says that she needs to do it so dad can get aboard the DIEt thing.  Shakes piggy head.  Help me.  I’m saying that now because I can tell it’s going to be rough the next couple of months.

Hemi should join that show called Fear Factor.  Mom says so because he has no fear.  He has been jumping around the house from shelves to couch to mom’s chaise.  Of course mom gets on to him but he still does it.  I heard mom tell dad that Hemi was pushing her over the edge and it was a short trip.  I don’t get that because I haven’t seen any edges like that in the house.

Mouse Girl has gained weight.  Maybe she needs to be put on the DIEt thing.  I’m not sure.  She is what did dad say, butt heavy.  And of course, Houdini has the biggest crush on her.  I mean huge.  Houdini keeps chasing after her and you want to hear something funny.  Of course, I don’t get it but mom and dad laugh hysterically when daddy says it.  Every time Houdini chases Mouse Girl, dad tells Houdini, “Leave her alone Houdini.  She’s too much pussy for you.”  What?  I don’t get it.

 
34 Comments

Posted by on 05/21/2015 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl, Houdini

 

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Hemi Hi-Jack

Hemi here.  I don’t know when this little oinker will learn here not to leave his computer logged on – HA!  I thought I would Hemi Hi-Jack the oinkers blog and tell you a great story.  That’s me in the picture above.  Mom and dad adopted me and my brother Tybee in June of 2004, right before they got married.  Awesome huh?  Instant family of four.

My full name is Hemingway – but everyone calls me Hemi.  I’m a polydactyl cat – I have more than the normal toes on my paws.  I come from the Hemingway cats in Key West. Cool huh?  Trust me, you can ask that pig – I *know* how to use this big paw of mine.  I swipe that pig on the butt every chance I get.  Shrugs shoulders.  It’s what I do – LOL.  You don’t think this paw of mine would hurt?  You want to see it, don’t you.  Okay – here you go for your entertainment.  It’s big huh?  I told you so.

When mom/dad adopted us, we were three weeks old.  Can you see the pattern here?  They adopted that pig at three weeks too.  The only difference is that he could actually eat food and still does by the bucketfuls – HA!  Us on the other paw, we had to be bottled fed.  Mom actually took us to her worky place so that she could feed us during the day.  It was really awesome.

All of these manly men, bulked and ripped would come into her office to help with our feedings.  It was really neat.  I took to the bottle really quick.  Heck, I could just about hold my baby bottle.  Tybee was the opposite.  He had to be persuaded and fed his bottle.  He was a trooper though.

This is Tybee to the left.  He was mom’s little dresser.  He let mommy do anything to him.  He was actually Santa Tybee in this picture – cute huh?  That Christmas, mommy had bought daddy his graduation ring from college.  She had tied it around his neck and he pounced in dad’s lap with his costume and the ring.  It was cool.  I think dad almost cried.

I told you we were three weeks when we were adopted.  We were so small that both of us could fit into a coffee cup together.  We were so small that mom/dad didn’t want us running around the Hotel Thompson by ourselves.  So at night, she put us in a kennel in their bedroom.  In the morning, she would open the kennel door and we would both run down the halls towards the kitchen for breakfast.  Every day like clockwork, I would throw Tybee into the wall.  He fell for it every time – HA!  Dude that cat could take a push.  He was the greatest.

Dad would pick us up at mom’s worky place and take care of us in the afternoons until she got home.  He would feed us and then work on his master studies.  He was a hoot.  I gotta say my dad is so creative.  He created what we refer to here as the Thunder Dome.

He would invert a laundry basket and put us under it so we could play around without getting loss.  Over the weeks, me and Ty learned how to push it around so we could explore but yet still be trapped in Thunder Dome.  We finally figured it out but it was a lot of fun.  <<It was very similar to this picture to the right.  Cool idea huh?>>

There was one time that stands out so vividly in my mind with those parents of mine.  We were all watching television together and mom had let us run in the front room.  They were keeping an eye on us.  Mom went to the bathroom and dad was suppose to be watching us – LOL – you know all about dad’s and watching children huh?  This can’t turn out good.

Well, mom came back in the room and dad was in the kitchen.  She sat down and started to look around.  She saw Tybee but not me.  She asked daddy and he said the best words ever, “Uh oh.”  They started the hunt and find mission looking under sofa’s, behind sofa’s, in the bedrooms, throughout the house and in the hallways – no Hemi.  Where did I go?  Mom and dad were mystified.  And then the internal mother kicked into mom.  She jumped up and ran to the kitchen.  She opened the refrigerator and there I was hanging on a shelf.  I looked at her and was like, “Wazup mom?”  Yep, I think (A) mom almost lost it right there and then in thinking she was a bad mommy – I say thank goodness she started with us kitties and not a real child – HA and (B) I think I might have lost one of my kitty lives that day.

Every since the day in the fridge, my ears and paws stay cold.  Mom and dad started calling me their Fear Factor kitty.  I guess that kind of clicks with me.

And I know you are probably asking about Tybee.  Tybee went over the Rainbow Bridge in late 2009.  He got really sick and we learned that he had feline leukemia.  It really broke all of our hearts here.  I went through a lot of testing during the time and I was fine.  But after his death, I have to admit I got depressed.  It just wasn’t the same without my bro.  Mom and dad decided that I needed a friend.  So in 2010, they adopted Mouse Girl.  Well, that’s a whole entirely different story we shall save for another day – LOL.  Hope you enjoyed the story my friends!

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39 Comments

Posted by on 06/18/2014 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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Oh Hemi – You Are Too Funny

Hemi is one of the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson.  He’s always getting into trouble – way more than me.  Can you believe that?  Snorts.   Mom calls him her “Fear Factor” cat because he has no fear of anything.

Last night, he was rolling around on dad’s television tray trying to get some love.  I pulled out mom’s video camera and video taped him.  You *have* to watch until the end to see what kind of nut Hemi is.  It’s way too funny!  “I” would never do anything like this.  Nope, no way – snorts.

Hope you all have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

 
56 Comments

Posted by on 03/21/2014 in Bacon, Hemi

 

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