Texts from Bacon

What can I say?  Sometimes this sweet Bacon has an alternative side that comes out that mom refers to as deviled ham.  I know – those days are tough.  Last night, we went to a local carnival.  Mom called before hand to ask if I could go.  They were all for it.  Me, mom and dad went and was having a really good time.  I’ve never been petted so much in my entire life!  Things got a little carried away though towards the end and deviled ham came out.  Shuffles hooves and puts head down – it happened and I can’t take it back.  So you know when we got back to the Hotel Thompson, I had to serve time for the crime.  Here’s a text between me and mom.  My texts are in blue and moms are in gray.  Enjoy my friends.

 

 

 

Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry – Special Edition

September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by some wonderful little purr thing friends – Archie, Oscar and Henry. You know them from their blog – mythreemoggies  If you don’t know them, you *must* go visit them and check them out.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

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Dear Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry,
My mom said that if I behaved at the flea market, I could ride the merry go round. Bark-bark-bark. As you can see, I got to ride! Bark – it’s so much fun. Bark – can you tell I’m having fun? Signed Happy Bark

Dear Happy Bark,
It looks like you’re going round the twist. You’re barking mad. You can’t carousel on like this!
We know you dogs like to go a little crazy every now and then: chasing your tails, running after sticks, barking at the wind. But this is too much.
You need to be a little more cat… Quit the fairground, find yourself a nice warm bed and grab forty winks. That’s true happiness.
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry,
What the cream cheese! There’s something slimy that confronted me today in my own living room. What the heck is the cast off from Sponge Bob? Have you ever seen this before. I’m not sure what I do with it – play with it, eat it or show it to the door. Thoughts? Signed Escardog

Dear Escardog,

This is a slimy situation you’ve got yourself into. Of course, your first resort to any intruder is to think ‘food’, but this is not Paris notre petit ami. You need to have a word in his shell like and tell him to sling his antennae.

Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
What!? Haven’t you ever seen a dog turning in for the night? I have to get a good nights sleep so I’m in shape to chase the mailman in the morning. It’s what I do. Come on now – you can admit to me that you sleep like this too. Signed Napdog

Dear Napdog,
This is what we’re meowing about. Sleep like a king our friend!
The importance of a good kip isn’t lost any self respecting moggie, and it’s a relief to see our canine pals finally embracing the power of slumber.  After all, that mailman won’t chase himself.
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
Ha! I’m the littlest on the farm. The other animals like to horse around and bully me. I do what I do best. I sneak behind the trees and stick my tongue at them. When they chase me, the humans catch them picking on me. What!? Like you’ve never done that before? Signed Horse N Round

Dear Horse N Round,
This is neigh way to behave!
You need to stand up to yourself – are you a horse or a mouse?
Us moggies were brought up on da streets, and the rule there is you never grass. Actually, the rule is you eat the grass but whose letter is this anyway?
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
Hey guys. I need your help. I’m a traveling door to door salesman. For some reason, when I ring door bells no one answers. I don’t get it. Can you help me out? Signed Gator Calling

Dear Gator Calling,
You have an image problem. Smarten yourself up, employ a make over artist and get yourself a nice suit.
These gator-phobes won’t change their attitude unless you make the first move.
Oh, and make it snappy!
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

I Can’t Do That Again For A While

 WOW – Big mistake.  I just can’t do this again for a while.  Yesterday while mom was off from the worky place, she let me pick the movie for movie night.  I know we’ve seen this I can’t tell you – a hundred times.  But, it *never* gets old… until yesterday.  You talk about crying.  Mommy started crying on the couch, I started whimpering and dad just had no clue.  This movie really movies us.

Charlotte’s Web was written by E.B. White and published in 1952. I picked the Dakota Fanning movie to watch yesterday.  WOW – I can so see myself in that movie.  The movie starts off with a mommy piggy having babies.  There is a runt – swallow – that the farmer doesn’t believe is going to make it so he is going to slaughter him until his daughter Fern adopts the little runt and names him Wilbur.  See, I was a runt.  What if they had done this to me?  I’m so glad mommy adopted me early in my life.

Wilbur grows up quickly and Fern has to let him go to live across the street in the barn at the Zuckerman farm, which is Fern’s uncle.  Little Wilbur is so alone and no one wants anything to do with him.  That is, until he hears a voice.  A kind and sweet voice from above.  Wilbur learns that the voice is actually Charlotte A. Cavatica (Charlotte for short) who is a spider.  They begin a friendship and some of the other barn animals let it out that a spring pig doesn’t get to see the winter snow.  Wilburn learns that his ultimate escape from being slaughtered at birth is something that is coming back to haunt him once again.

Charlotte comes up with a plan to write words in her web to show how much of a special pig Wilbur really is.  Charlotte gets Templeton (the barnyard rat) to help her out by gathering inspiration for messages in her webs.  This all leads to Wilbur being entered into the county fair in hopes of winning so he won’t be – gulp – slaughtered.  Charlotte and Templeton go with Wilbur to the fair and Charlotte does another amazing web.

This is the tear jerker part.  Charlotte is carrying babies.  She does this one last thing for Wilbur because she promised to help him.  She crawls up in the rafters and lays her egg sac which has her unborn off spring.  She dies and it’s up to Wilbur and Templeton to get the babies and bring them back to the barn.  OMP (oh my pig).  I’m crying as I type this.

 Wilbur is spared being slaughtered but is so disheartened at the loss of his great friend Charlotte.  As time goes by, the babies hatch from their egg sac – 100’s of them.  They all fly away except for three that are named Joy, Nellie and Aranea.  The movie leaves off with Wilbur telling them about their wonderful mother Charlotte.  Not.a.dry.eye.in.the.Hotel.Thompson. my friends.  This movie is so touching.  One of my favorites.

Can you imagine if I had a Charlotte in my life?  What would she write about me?  What would you write about me to save my life?  These things went through my mind and I just cried.

Mommy said she would write “Some Bacon” in her web for me.  aaww – very sweet.

 

 

 

Bashful came home from Virginia!

 I’ve been a little late in getting some thank you outs and letting everyone know about Bashful.  It’s been crazy here at the Hotel Thompson my friends.  Please forgive me in my updates about my traveling pet rock.  Bashful spent some time in Virginia with Stuart at http://scottiechronicles.com/ .

 Bashful actually got home the day before mom/dad’s vacation to the beach.  In fact, he kept us all up late into the night telling us of stories of visiting pigs, running away to a fair and watching Stuart ride a ferris wheel – I bet that was awesome!

He also spoke of getting into trouble with Stuart in his backyard and getting too close to the roadway – Bashful – shame on you!

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Poor Stuart – when Bashful first arrived, his humans were a little under the weather.  So I guess that accounts for some of the trouble they got into.

Bashful is such a sweet international rolling stone.

But, I’ve noticed that he has picked up some wicked ways in his travels.  Tomato weed bong smoking in France and now in Virginia scotch on the rocks.  My little rock is growing up so fast – at times I think way too fast!

Bashful came home in a box full of surprises much to my amazement.  There were note cards with scotties on them to remind us of Stuart, pig cards (aaww) and the cutest little pair of piggy salt/pepper shakers.  OMP (Oh my pig!)  Mom was thrilled and squealed like a little piggy herself – it was too funny.  I can’t begin to thank you enough for hosting my little pet Bashful.  He had the bestest time!  I really appreciate you taking him in like he was one of your own and showing him a great time.

 

And you know, Bashful picked up a friend in his travels.  This is Virginia – check out those beautiful green eyes and red lipstick.  Everyone says that a girl can rule the world with red lipstick – I know she will here at the Hotel Thompson.  She’s already captivated Manny from France.

Thanks again Stuart my friend.  I’m sorry it took me a while to publically thank you. You rock!

And where will Bashful end up next?  I will tell you that he was so carefully helped into mom/dad’s suitcase when they went to the beach.  Darn… okay I admit it – I helped him stowaway but that’s a story for another day – snorts.

Other than the beach, where will he go next?  His list is long here at the Hotel Thompson.  The next person has been notified and after a much needed rest this week, hopefully he will be put on an airplane this weekend.

My, where in the world will Bashful land?