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Door Watch 2016 – Sherlock Bones

Sherlock Bones here checking in on Door Watch 2016.  Watching that door is wiping me out.  I’m not sleeping.  I barely move except for the basics – you know a dog has to do what a dog has to do outside.  Other than that and eating, I’m watching and listening at that pesky door in the hallway.  I know that freak is behind the door listening to me too.  I can smell him.  The other day I said he smelled like peppermint and pine.  Evil squirrel said it best too – he has a faint smell of alcohol.  Don’t shake your head no – listen to the reasoning.  He smells like spiked eggnog.  Really!  The smells coming out of that door are somewhat revolting yet mesmerizing in a way.  I think it might be his magic powers coming to light.  I really hope not.

I was so tired last night that Houdini and Bacon tagged team and they stood watch while I got a little shut eye.  The picture of me tells you everything.  This Door Watch 2016 is taking its toll.  I drifted off to sleep land, content, warm with a full belly.  I had some of the most pleasant dreams.  One of which involved the little seasonal outcast… I found a picture to explain.

I hope you are continuing your watch on your misbehaved elves.  Time is ticking and getting closer to their freedom.  We must stand united!

 

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 11/18/2016 in 25 Days of Christmas, Bacon

 

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Sherlock Bones Reporting In

Hello blogville.  Sherlock Bones reporting in on Door Watch 2016.  Last night, there were some rumblings going on behind the door.  That little freak Don Juan is moving around.  I can hear it and I can smell him.  He smells like a mixture of Peppermint and Pine.  What an odd combination for an elf, you think?  I know he’s up to something but so far he has not left his compound and the safety of his hole in the wall.  But it’s coming.  I feel it in my bones.

My watch continues.  And to those that have Elves remember – they are starting to move around a bit.  The day after Thanksgiving they hit with all of their powers.  Be safe and be careful!  Report to me if you hear or see anything out of the ordinary.

 

 

Door Watch 2016

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 11/16/2016 in Bacon

 

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Sherlock Bones Here on Assignment

Hello blogville.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Sherlock Bones and I’m Houdini, Hemi and Bacon’s cousin.  They have hired me this year to start patrolling.  Patrolling for what you ask?  Shivers – it’s almost time for that crazy little Elf on the Shelf Don Juan to come out for his season.  This year, the guys want things a little different.  They don’t want that monster Don Juan ruining their Christmas season as he has in years past.   That’s where I come in.  I have the bloodhound skills of tracking.  They’ve hired me to patrol the little freaks door to make sure he doesn’t exit before his time…and if he does well I’m to ‘take care of it’ if you know what I mean.

You might see me around these parts here/there snooping out the psycho.  Wish me luck… I think we will all need it here.

Door Watch 2016

 
24 Comments

Posted by on 11/14/2016 in Bacon, Uncategorized

 

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31 Days of Spook – Let’s Play a Game

No words needed. Let’s play a game shall we? Snorts

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31 Days of Spook – Evil Passenger

There you are in the morning getting ready for work or school.  You are running around trying not to forget anything.  Was that coffee you put in the refrigerator and milk in the cabinet?  You don’t know.  You are running late now.  You have a piece of toast in your mouth, coffee cup in your hand, your purse on your shoulder and tote bag in one hand.  You go out to your car, open the door, get in and crank it.  That’s when you feel that you are not alone.  You look over in the passenger seat and oh my dear piggy heavens above – you see this!   What the oink!?  What do you do?

 

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31 Days of Spook – Dismemberment

Oh my friends – didn’t you get a chill just reading that title – dismemberment?  It does bring me shutters thinking about it.  You see this is a story that read about and heard on television.  I couldn’t believe my piggy eyes and ears!  I was shocked and ran to tell mom/dad.  They were in awe as well.  

There was a man that lived in Tennessee.  Back in November of last year, he and his wife had a huge fight.  Things didn’t end well.  The fight escalated and the guy ended up killing his wife, dismembering her and putting her in their freezer in the garage of their house.  There she was for two days.

During those two days, the man kept thinking his wife was coming to him in his dreams about what happened.  He finally went and checked the freezer and she was alive!  They had a long conversation and she was telling him how much she loved him.  He was crying when he called 911 to come out and help her.

The police arrived to the house.  When they went into the garage, there was no way the woman could have been talking to the guy – she was dead and had been for several days.  Did she come back to seek her revenge?

 

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Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #229 — 9/15/16

Oh snap friends – Bashful made the nest comic… do you think he’s finally met his match? XOXO – Bacon

Evil Squirrel's Nest

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Posted by on 09/16/2016 in Bacon, Pet Rocks

 

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What’s In The Box?

Cough-snort-oink – guess where Bashful landed this time? Oh-la-la Let the party begin my friends! XOXO – Bacon

Evil Squirrel's Nest

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APPLEJACK: Mail call!

SCRATCHY: Dafuq is this shit?

PRINCESS LUNA: Knowing the hideous squirrel who inhabits this house, it could be almost anything.  Viagra…. a bomb… Jimmy Hoffa’s body…

SCRATCHY: Dude, there might be some really nasty sex toys in here (I hope, I hope!)

TWILIGHT: Well, there’s no use taking wild guesses as to what this surprise is.  We need to open it!

AJ: Got that taken care of, Sugarcube!

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Applejack proceeds to gnaw on the corner of the package

AJ: Mmmmm, this tastes better than envelope glue!

TWILIGHT: You know, silly filly, there’s a better way to open the box!

LUNA: Explosives?

SCRATCHY: Cuz I’m TNT!  I’m Dyno-mite!!!

TWILIGHT: No no no!  Evil Squirrel works at Mecca, and you know what all Mecca employees have!

SCRATCHY: Crabs?

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TWILIGHT: Maybe…. but they also have box cutters!

LUNA: It’s a wonder our national security hasn’t been threatened already by this…

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Posted by on 09/07/2016 in Bacon, Pet Rocks

 

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The Devil’s Food

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Oh my friends.  I must show you the reason why mom won’t be losing any weight this week – snorts with piggy laughter.  Let me introduce you to some devil’s food called DELIGHTS.  These sinful, delectable little morsels can be bought at Taco Bell of all places.  Mom found them… or shall we say they found mom’s butt – snorts.

You see they are filled with cream cheese, rolled in cinnamon and sugar and then deep friend.  Yep, you can loosen your pants now.  They are that good.  I won’t tell you what daddy calls them… but they are devilish.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 08/04/2016 in Bacon

 

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Missing

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 05/28/2016 in Bacon

 

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