Tag Archives: Ernie

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Who says dogs can’t have game.  I’ve been watching NBA Championships on television.  Those humans have two legs and do some amazing things with the balls.  I figure I have four legs.  I bet I could do some amazing things myself.  And instead of ‘dunking’ the ball, I can’t jump on the rim.  So hey guys – I’m free here – let me assist.  Heck with this kind of ability, maybe I should start a team for us anipals.  What do you think?  Signed Lebron the Lab

Dear Lebron the Lab – Oh pal!  Now that is some kind of assist.  Is that in the play book?  Can you stand up there like that?  I wonder?  But hey, I think starting your own anipal team would be awesome.  Heck, I would love to be on your team.  I may be short to the ground but this snout is a powerful weapon to be crossed.  You go – and be careful okay.

Dear Bacon – My humans took me to Disney World with them.  OMD – I was in doggy heaven!  My favorite idol is Pluto.  How could you not like him?  He is like the bestest happening dog ever!  When my humans set me up to meet my idol in person and take my picture, I so could not help it but to smile.  Can you see it?  I was so deliriously happy!  Can you tell?  Signed Grinning Ear to Ear

Dear Ginning Ear to Ear – Oh WOW my friend.  YES – YES and YES.  I can tell that you are so happy in meeting Pluto.  I know that it had to make your day.  In fact, I would love to meet Miss Piggy one day.  My mom is still working on a meet up.  Hopefully one day my day will come too just like yours  Keep on smiling!


Dear Bacon – What?  There’s nothing to see here.  You can move right along.  You see I was playing with my brother Bert.  Bert has a potty mouth.  He really does.  He called me a bad name.  I had to take up for myself.  The humans were in the backyard.  When they came in, I was the one that got in trouble.  How unfair is that?  He started it.  He really did.  Signed Ernie

Dear Ernie – Shaking my piggy head.  You know my friend, if Bert called you a name and I’m not saying he did or didn’t, sometimes one has to be the bigger anipal and move on.  You see there’s an old saying, “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  Sure words can hurt but that’s just what they are – words.  And having your humans come in and seeing you bouncing on top of your brother, well that might just be interpreted as being a bully.  I’m just saying.  Think smarter.  If Bert has a potty mouth, you just need to have that come out at the right moment when your humans can hear… maybe record him.  Then again, I’ve always heard washing one mouth’s out with soap will take care of that potty mouth.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Dear Bacon – My humans cut back on my treat budget.  Now this is just unfair and so wrong on so many levels.  So when the humans went to work, I researched their bank account.  Who says us dogs can’t be private investigators.  Let me tell you one thing.  If they are going to cut my budget, they should think about their own food budget.  OMD!  I can’t begin to tell you how many debit charges I saw for food and treats for humans.  My budget was only used one time last month for a measly $12.59.  There treat budget was well over $600.00!  I say it’s time for fair play.  Signed P.I. Treats

Dear P.I. Treats – Dude, you have skills!  I’m going to have to send you a private email to find out how you got into your humans banking accounts.  I could make so many changes to my humans spending if I had access.  I say it’s time for you to have a sit down talk with your humans and tell them what you found.  It is way past time for equal food treats.

Dear Bacon – Help Me.  My master thinks he is so funny in putting these stupid glasses on my face.  I will be the laughing pooch of the neighborhood if this gets out.  Shaking my dog head.  The insensitivity of master is overbearing.  What can I do?  Signed Silly Eyes

Dear Silly Eyes – I think these silly eyes require massive payback my friend.  I can think of several places you can maneuver them on your master’s body and take pictures.  Heck, one of those pictures might even wind up on your families Christmas cards.  Now who will be on the butt end of that joke then?

Whatever you decide to do, please keep us posted.  And when I first saw your picture.  I wasn’t laughing at you.  I was laughing with you.  Yeah that’s it.  Snorts with piggy laughter.


REMEMBER MY FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ♥


Posted by on 06/07/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon


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Get Better Ernie, Hero and Molly


This is my friend Ernie. He is trying to get better from surgery that he had. He went outside into nature (shivers) and chased a squirrel that taunted him.

There was some mud involved and poor Ernie pulled something hurting his ACL.

Ernie ended up having some major surgery and will even have to go through doggy therapy for rehabilitation. His mom and dad are really taking good care of him and trying to nurse him back to his old self. He’s still having a really rough time at the Hotel Rountree though because dogs will be dogs and stitches will be stitches.

Ernie, I hope you start feeling better my fellow four legged friend.  I have a couple of thoughts for you though before I go.  Just thoughts from my little piggy perspective – take them in stride with a smile on my snout face.

(1) Quit chasing the women – make them come to you, you handsome fellow!

(2) Quit chasing those squirrels – they’re nuts!

(3) You’re in the Cone Head Club for a reason little fellow. Take it easy and let mom and dad take care of you.

(4) I know stitches itch, just ignore that. Go to your happy place and think of catching that squirrel. Just don’t pull on those things that trying to fix you up.



This is another one of my friends called Hero who went to the vet and also became a member of the Cone Head Club. Poor fellow. They gotta have something a little bit better than that wrapped around your head my friend. I know if something itches, it’s doggy nature to want to scratch but you can’t. As my friend Ernie, you have to find a happy spot too.  Imagine yourself laying next to the pool sunning yourself.  Imagine yourself chasing balls.  Imagine yourself hanging out in the Hotel Parker.  Anything but scratching that itch.

You can do this my friend!


Hero’s sister Molly also had a doctors appointment.  Bless her little heart.  She’s 12 now and I understand that’s pretty old in doggy years.  Sweets, hang in there.  Mommy has really bad arthritis too and I feel you.  There’s some days she can’t get up and moving either.  I hope they find something for you that makes it so much better soon.

Hogs and Kisses my sweet friends in need.  I hope you all get better so soon.  I really need to speak to you on the webcam maybe about doing a special issue of my Dear Bacon column.  If you’re up for the challenge, let me know.  Love yous!

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Posted by on 01/14/2013 in Uncategorized


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