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Dear Wallace and Samuel – Special Edition

September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by two cute adorable little Scottie brothers – Wallace and Samuel.  If you don’t know Wallace and Samuel, you *must* go visit them and check them out.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

IMG_0041.JPGDear Wallace and Samuel,
Help. We have some really nosey and crazy neighbors. They are always trying to find out what is going on in my crib. Today I saw them looking into my window. I thought I would teach them a lesson and let them know what I thought about them. It’s amazing what a good stretch in the direction can tell them. Meow. Any more ideas? Signed Tails Up.

Dear Tails Up,
If your Peeping Tom neighbours don’t get the message after that eyeful of booty we suggest kicking it up a notch, how about treating them to a fine feline operatic performance at say 2am? Alternatively, nothing says “back off” quite like a week old dead mouse bouquet. If all else fails we recommend a good old restraining order.  Good luck!  Wally & Sammy

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Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I.hate.baths. Can I say that any louder? Can I express that any louder in this picture? Get it over already and baptize me so I can get out of this tub of water. What do you suggest I think about during this torture? Signed Water Logged

Dear Water Logged,
Samuel here – I hear you loud and clear buddy! I too am not a lover of water or baths or baths filled with water. Based on personal experience I suggest you focus on the one of the following: a) the fun towel rub down you’ll get when the water torture is over OR 2) the fun you will have shaking all that water off you and onto your peep *snicker snicker* OR c) the fun you’re going to have rolling in something REALLY stinky first chance you get.  Happy daydreaming!  Sammy (and Wally)

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Dear Wallace and Samuel,
My mom says that everyone has a beauty mark somewhere on their body. Mine just happens to be on my snout an looks like a heart. Do you see it? What kind of beauty mark do you have? Signed Heart of Snouts

Dear Heart of Snouts,
How frickin’ adorable are you!!  We got mom to do a full body search of both of us looking for our beauty marks and you know what…she couldn’t find one!! Not one!! We’re not going to lie, this worries us a little and we’ve asked mom to make us an appointment at the tattoo parlor asap so that we can have one made – for some reason she is dragging her paws about making the appointment. We hope we can still be friends…even though we are beauty markless.  Wally & Sammy

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Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I’m sending you this picture for evidence. It was the last selfie that I took when the boys were chasing me. What? Wouldn’t you have done the same thing? Bad barks are chasing you and you take a selfie with the cell phone? What can I do to make the bad barks quit chasing me? They didn’t catch me this date. I ran into a log that they couldn’t get into. Can you help me out? Signed Faster than Pooches

Dear Faster than Pooches
This is an easy one…STOP TAKING SELFIES!! Seriously dude, put the phone down and walk away. We guarantee you those pooches won’t even sniff you twice if you get rid of the phone and start behaving like an ordinary cat. Nobuddy likes a show off especially a show off who needs to document his every move, meal and meow.  Embrace living off the grid.  Wally & Sammy

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Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I don’t get it. I jumped in this box. My human dad took a pen and did something to the front. Afterward he was laughing hysterically. I don’t get it. Can you help me out? Signed Bat Cat

Dear Bat Cat
What can we say, small things amuse small (hooman) minds. We can see what effect your dad was going for here butt unfortunately it is lost as soon as you climb out of the box. We recommend pushing the box to the nearest mirror…it will all make sense then.  And remember: Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman cat, then always be Batmancat.  And remember: Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman cat, then always be Batmancat.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
47 Comments

Posted by on 09/02/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Forrest – SPECIAL EDITION

 Hello my friends.  Welcome to another great issue of Dear Bacon.  This week, we have another guest helping me out with my issue.  Today, my friend Forrest and Fozziemom are stepping in for me to do a special edition of Dear Forrest.  Be sure to visit them at their blog and check them out – let them know what a great job they did – thanks Forrest and Fozziemom!

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Dear Forrest,
Save a horse, ride a piggy – BOL. This is my gal pal Susie. The other farm animals think we are crazy. We are. Crazy in love! Do you think it’s cool? Signed Sam and Susie

Dear Sam and Susie,
I think the other farm animals are jealous…inter species can work…even if it does seem a bit odd. You loves who you loves so I say go for it! And yes it is way cool!

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Dear Forrest,
Since they added the word “selfie” to the dictionary, we thought we would try it. We think it’s a work in progress. Have you tried this? Signed Say Cheese

Dear Cheese,
I must say I have tried selfies myself and it always ends up with booger shots..or drool. I think you have the crazy eye down pat though. Keep it up.   I have seen some pretty bad human ones BOL BOL

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Dear Forrest,
They say you can be anything you want. I wanted to be a pineapple. What kind of fruit would you be? Signed Piney

Dear Piney,
Well if you want to look like Camen Miranda then I say I like it veryyyy much.  As for me, if I had to be a fruit I would be a banana.  Then I could split whenever it got too much BOL BOL

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Dear Forrest,
Dude. The beach is so totally awesome. The water is rad. Do you hang five bro? Signed Surfer Bark

Dear Surfer Bark,
Man you are hangin’ more than five my friend.  You might take off if them ears get any more steam behind them BOL.  I hang 5 in the dam. It’s usually followed by mum landing flat BOL …wonder what that counts as BOL

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Dear Forrest,
I look fat. Maybe it’s my ears? Maybe it’s that bunny tail? Maybe it’s the beer talking from another bottle down? Can you help out a bunny? What do you think? Signed Fatbun

Dear Fatbun,
I think you are standing in front of the wrong mirror my friend. You look fine to me..nice and plump and round and delish…oops I mean fine. Sorry, I get side tracked by bunnies. I think if you were here at my place I could help you exercise..do you like to run? BOL

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Thanks to Fozziemom and Forrest for another great issue.  Remember my friends, these Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without you 🙂  Remember to send your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
30 Comments

Posted by on 07/01/2014 in Dear Bacon, Uncategorized

 

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