Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
I’ve read your column recommending yoga and how everyone thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. I’m not a fan. I’m not sure what this position was suppose to be but it’s not natural. I guess it’s not meant for everyone.

Signed Pretzel

Dear Pretzel,
Well, you do look like you’re a little tied up there. What’s it like to be able to kiss your own butt? Snort

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Dear Bacon,
So I walked into a bar and ordered a beer. What’s wrong with that? I’m of age. Why not think its strange that the bartender served me?

Why does it have to be me with a problem?

Signed Cheers

Dear Cheers,

I don’t see a problem with that. If you can (A) walk into a bar; (B) order your own beer; (C) sit at the bar and (D) drink it, I say you deserve it. I salute you!

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 Dear Bacon,
Do you ever have one of those days that you don’t know if your coming/going? If you need to eat or go wizzy? I had a moment and of course my dad had to take a picture. Who knows where it will show up next on the Internet. Signed Two Birds With One Stone

Dear Two Birds With One Stone,
Hey little man, no worries. Sometimes life happens. You’re hungry and you have to go. I’ll tell you a little secret. At times when I go wizzy for mom on my piggy pad, she will feed me a carrot while I’m going. Hey, whatever you gotta do my friend for food, do it.

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Dear Bacon,
I’m like you. I have a short leg challenge. There’s lots of things I can’t do either because of those challenged little legs. I found the perfect solution – stilts. They do take some getting used to but hey no more short legs. You gotta get a pair of these things and try them. Signed Vertically Challenged

Dear Vertically Challenged,
You do look a lot taller. Mine would have to be taller. You know, to make room for my garage of a belly. 🙂 snort They do look like fun. I’m wondering if I could get mom to make me some for fun? I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

 

Eat What You Want Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping his paws on the nuts of the world –

 .

May 11th is Eat What You Want Day. Now, I know that little pig is going to celebrate this date. This is actually something he can wrap those little chompers around!

What would you like to eat today? Health permitting, go ahead and splurge just for today. Tomorrow, it’s back on plan. Eat all of your favorite foods and snacks. It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off of the diet and eat something you really enjoy. I know I will be partaking in extra nuts and seeds for today. I have to keep this trim body intact. Bacon well, he’ll probably eat everything and anything he can get.

 

 

31 Days of Spook – My Breakfast

Well, I’ve started my morning off the right way.  I put  my cartoon DVD in and set the timer to come on this morning to wake me up.  Mom even got me some of my favorite seasonal cereals.  Today is spook blast from the past.  Let me introduce you to some new friends the I’ve met:

Count Chocula

Frute Brute

Fruity Yummy Mummy

Boo Berry

.

Do you know these guys too?  Mommy says they only come out during this time of the year in October.  Mommy got all four for me to try.  I have to admit that daddy did some encouraging as well.  He told mommy they were for ‘educational’ purposes for me.  Way to go dad!  Don’t forget to try some before they disappear!

 

Eat What You Want Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping his paws on the nuts of the world –

May 11 is Eat What You Want Day. Now, I know that little pig is going to celebrate this date. This is actually something he can wrap those little chompers around!

What would you like to eat today? Health permitting, go ahead and splurge just for today. Tomorrow, it’s back on plan. Eat all of your favorite foods and snacks. It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off of the diet and eat something you really enjoy. I know I will be partaking in extra nuts and seeds for today. I have to keep this trim body intact. Bacon well, he’ll probably eat everything and anything he can get.

 

Happy New Years! – Article from my Mom :)

 Happy New Years my friends!  Can you believe that it is already 2015 – Where did 2014 go?  Today, I’m going to do something a little different here on my blog.  I want to share with you something that my mother wrote recently on handicaps.  It may be a little long, but I hope you take the time to read it.  I think this will be perfect to start this new year with awareness and kindness and paying it forward.  Enjoy and let me know what you think 🙂

Let’s play a game.  Close your eyes, tight now no looking.  Now, I want you to try to do things around your house.  Go to the kitchen and get a drink; try going to the bathroom; turning the television on; or making a phone call.  Can you do it?  Can you remember the layout of your home?  Can you remember what your phone looks like and where the numbers are?  What about the remote control?

 These are all problems that my husband encounters everyday.  You see in 2004, he was in a minor car accident and almost died. That’s right I said minor accident.  He was only going 30 miles per hour when a car accident happened and his airbags deployed.  The force of the airbags against his chest caused massive blood clots in his lungs.  He was in intensive care for nearly 12 weeks coming close to death several times.  In fact at one point, the doctors asked mommy if she believed in miracles because it was time to start praying for one. 😦

Within two years of his accident and many, MANY surgeries that we lost count, he lost his vision.  This is not a story to say, “Oh dear, you poor thing”.  This is a story to enlighten people, restaurants and businesses.  Handicaps are not just visibly seen by wheelchairs, walkers or canes.  Some handicaps you would never know unless you knew the person.  This is my husband Jim.  He does everything we do just with a little help.

 When we go out together, we are always holding hands.  This is something that we have always done for the 26 years we have been together.  But now, it’s also to help guide Jim.  He doesn’t use a cane and it’s not because of vanity.  Jim and others with vision impairments want to be ‘normal’ as much as they can be and I can deal with that.  Wouldn’t you?  He does everything you and I do but just with a little help.

 When we go out to eat, we hold hands walking to the table.  If you are close enough to hear us, you might hear me say, “Walk straight, your chair is to the left.”  And you will see Jim walk straight to his chair just like he ‘saw it’.  You may hear me discussing the menu just like regular people do on, “What do you want to eat?”  You might even hear me tell him when the food comes to the table, “Chicken on the bottom, green beans to the left and corn to your right.”  But other than that, Jim can eat all by himself just like a big boy. 🙂  So, you might not ‘see’ that he has a visual impairment.  And after dinner when we walk to the car, you will see Jim open my car door for me and then walk to his side and get in.  Does that ‘look’ like a handicap to you?

 But here is where we need to step up in businesses and restaurants.  We are all for a little romantic dinner in a restaurant where the mood is set and the lights are low.  But some restaurants tend to push the envelope a little more these days.  But for someone with a visual handicap that might ‘see’ perhaps a little light to guide them, a little mood set with lights low makes them completely blind.  The little bit of tunnel vision Jim might have in one eye is now completely blocked by low light setting and where he might be able to look ‘naturally’ before now he can’t.  You add the low lighting with a white table cloth and white dishes, he is going to stumble around on his plate.  His drink might get bumped.  He may drop his napkin.  Waiters/Waitresses – please note this is not something that he is doing ‘on purpose’.  Please don’t say something to him negatively.  Please don’t “talk down” to him like a child.  And by all means watch what you say not to insult.  People with vision impairments don’t do these things on purpose.  They don’t want the extra attention.  They want to feel normal in every aspect that they can.  When we ask for a table with a little more light, don’t make a big deal by the request.  I mean we could eat at home and we often do but don’t we all want to go out from time to time?

 And bathrooms in public – sigh.  More businesses and restaurants really need to come up family bathrooms.  We have come across these in our travels and they are fabulous!  Why do you ask?  Well, hopefully in your own home you know the layout of your bathroom.  But in a strange place, can you imagine closing your eyes and feeling your way around in a bathroom when you have to potty?  There have been a lot of times that I will walk Jim to the door, open it and try to peak in to tell him where everything is – beware men – I’m not trying to look at what you are doing 🙂 Really, I’m not.

 If you see someone that is acting ‘off’ and it doesn’t ‘show’ that they have a handicap, they may just have a visual handicap that you don’t see.  Instead of walking by or acting like you might catch it, why don’t you stop and chat.  Don’t worry, they won’t bite.  Believe me, just because they are visually impaired,  they do have a sense of humor still.

If they are trying to go to the restroom, why don’t you volunteer to guide them.  Trust me, they won’t hesitate for your help.  If they drop their flatware on the floor, why don’t you replace it and touch their shoulder and say, “No problem sir”.  If you have someone that asks for a more lit table, don’t belittle them or act like it’s a big deal – accommodate

And don’t think Jim is being a snob if he doesn’t shake your hand when you offer yours.  Just a heads up – most people with a visual impairment can’t see your hand.  🙂  Sometimes it helps if you touch their shoulder and say, “Good to meet you”.  And of course, if I’m there I will be glad to tell Jim your arm is extended.  Don’t worry.  You can shake hands.  You won’t catch his blindness.

Most handicapped people don’t want a free pass.  They want to feel like they fit in and can still do what they once could.  Jim is the same.  He knows our house like the back of his hand.  He takes care of the kids and the house.  He can clean like you wouldn’t believe!  He makes the beds.  He does all of the laundry.  He does the dishes.  He can cook for himself.  Astonishing huh?  It just takes a few tweaks on my part to make his life like it once was.  The microwave is marked, the washing machine is marked, the dryer is marked – all with little tabs that he can ‘feel’ to turn on and off.

 I’m not writing this story for sympathy.  I’m not writing this story for money.  I’m writing this story for knowledge on visual impairments.  The next time you see someone with a visual problem – where you see it with someone using a cane or being guided by someone, don’t fear them or treat them differently.  Be kind and helpful.  And hey – why not even help their caregiver out for a while.  Do you know that must people with visual impairments still like to do things for their loved ones.  This has been one of the biggest downfalls to Jim’s vision.  There are times that he would love to go get me a card or some flowers but how can he when he can’t drive himself to do such a wonderful gesture?  Perhaps if you know someone with a visual problem, offer to take them out for such a trip 🙂

In the new year let’s start practicing a little Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you want them to do to you”.  Happy New Years!

 

PPPSSTT Heads Up

I’m giving you a heads up my friends.  You do NOT want to miss my blog posting for tomorrow morning.  I guarantee you, you will laugh until your tummy hurts.  Here’s a warning now – do not be in the process of drinking or eating anything while reading my blog tomorrow morning.  Oh my pig!  It’s hilarious.  It’s priceless.  I wet myself a little when I saw it actually happening – but sshh – don’t tell anyone that part okay.  It’s something that happened to us here at the Hotel Thompson.

See you here tomorrow morning.

 

Pssst – I Got a Message for YOU my Friend

 

Eat What You Want Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping his paws on the nuts of the world –

May 11, 2013 is Eat What You Want Day. Now, I know that little pig is going to celebrate this date. This is actually something he can wrap those little chompers around!

What would you like to eat today? Health permitting, go ahead and splurge just for today. Tomorrow, it’s back on plan. Eat all of your favorite foods and snacks. It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off of the diet and eat something you really enjoy. I know I will be partaking in extra nuts and seeds for today. I have to keep this trim body intact. Bacon well, he’ll probably eat everything and anything he can get.

 

AAAWWW – Wouldn’t it be “Perfect”?

OMP (Oh my pig!) 

I can almost taste it.  It would be so delightful.  I mean, come on, we are talking about an oinker. It’s all about the food to us little hooved piglets.  It would be the perfect food.

Can you imagine it?

It would have the perfect outer layer of a banana and the perfect inner label of a strawberry.  I bet they would fly off the shelves!  It’s a heaven sent combination that I could live on for life! 

I know I can’t be the only one that would think so.  What do you think? We could call it bananaberry.  That’s a fun word! 

 

Watermelon Fun

It all started with mom getting me a watermelon. She cuts everything up on prep day. Looks good doesn’t it?  This week, she couldn’t find a miniature melon so she had to get a mid size one.  Daddy didn’t care because he got those last few slices sitting on the cutting board 🙂 

The ones in the pans, those are mine for the next two weeks of snacks.  Yeah, I make it last.  Daddy gives them to me as my mid day snack.  You’re probably wondering about the rind.  I eat the rind.  To me that is equally as good as the juicy melon. 

Afterwards, mom sat on the floor with me and we both got all messy. Watermelon juice went everywhere. It was really fun. Of course both of us needed baths afterwards.  I made a huge mess but mom said the floor could be mopped and I could be washed. It was awfully nice of her to hold the melon for me. It made eating so much easier.   At one time, I grabbed a huge piece of the sliced watermelon and ran to my room with it.  It was hanging out of my mouth and I was holding my head up high.  It was really funny.  I could hear mommy laughing all the way down the hall chasing me.  She redirected me back to the kitchen area.

Mom was really patient too.  She sat and fed me until all of that wonderful watermelon was in my belly.  That was my bed time treat last night.  Afterwards, I didn’t mind going to bed.  My tummy was full!  Mom washed me up and tucked me in my bed.  Nothing but sweet dreams was had last night. 

 

Next time you eat watermelon, think of me okay.  I would hold it for you!  Hogs and Kisses to a great week!