Thanks to my wonderful friend Easy Rider and his staff at http://easyweimaraner.wordpress.com/ for stepping in to help me with a wonderful special edition of Dear Bacon. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did over here at piglove. Their sense of humor reminds us of someone – we just can’t put our snout on it. Enjoy and don’t forget to step over and say hey to Easy Rider – XOXO – Bacon
I’m a boffin and I tried to finish the problem of the humans, if they like more dogs or cats, with creating one animal who has the best features of both. Would you think that this could be the perfect pet?
Congratulations Dear Friend,
You just invented the Felicanis or Canifelis. I think that’s brilliant in theory. In practice, you created an animal who will be chasing itself the whole time. That could be exhausting. But I like avant-garde ideas, so please let me know when you’ve caught each other.
I’m a Royal Corgi and I have a problem to manage the succession of the throne with my litter of six. I’m afraid I could adversely affect some of my kids. Do you have a solution?
Dear Royal Corgi,
Of course HRM I have one. What’s with democracy? In this case all would get the same (nothing) and no one would be in advance. Otherwise every one of your kids could be king for one day of the week and for the 7th day your kingdom could be governless. That makes sure that all of your kids have a lot to do with the elimination of the 7th-day damage during the week and no one never would have a dull moment.
I’m Dr. Scrub, a beauty surgeon who is always busy at Nap&Muck Inc. Unfortunately, I overslept this morning and was in a hurry to go to work. I jumped in my pants but I must been drowsy because now I’m hanging around here. What’s happened?
Dear Dr. Scrub,
That’s easy to explain. You were just jumping in your pants while they were hanging on the clothesline. Please make sure that you remove the pegs before wearing your clothes next time.
I’m Tray the pup and I have a problem with my humans. When we take a ride in the car I always have to sit in this embarrassing place. What’s wrong with my bipeds? How can I get a better place in the car?
The humanoid brain (rarely occured) acts up to this rule: “A place for everything and everything on it’s place.” For this, I’m glad your surname isn’t “Ash”. I think to get a better place you have to change your name. But choose your name wise and with consideration. “Tank” or “Slick” is not really an option.
I’m Joker the comedian. I’ve tried to pimp up my myself at Nap&Muck with Botox-injections. The surgeon, Dr.Scrub, failed and refused to give me back my money. I wish someone would hang this guy! Now my facial features are frozen and I’m afraid I’m unfit for work. Or have you ever seen a comedian who wasn’t able to laugh about his own jokes?
To be honest, No. But cheer up! You could start a new career as a professional gambler, because now you are poker-faced and I know some people hold a life time to get it. And if you ask me, the most poker games are always just comedy. And your name is perfect for a Gambler too. As regards for your wish I can tell you good news, it came true.