Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What are friends?  Friends let you have the soft spot so that you can snuggle down and sleep.  This is my pal Henry.  He is the bestest friend in the entire world.  I was so tired and he didn’t want me to sleep on the hard ground so he offered his back just like a perfect gentleman.  I want your readers to take note – always put your friends first.  Signed Betsy

Dear Betsy – That is absolutely wonderful and delightful to see.  Friendship is so important and that my friend is awesome to see in today’s time and day.  I know that if someone wanted a soft place to sleep, I would gladly give up my back for a couple of hours or so.  I say spread the news – more love and less hate!

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  Dear Bacon – Hey pal.  This is me at the spa.  I love the spa treatments but I hate water in my ears.  So my spa lady, she came up with the best idea – a shower cap.  Might I say this is genius!  And yeah, if you look closely in m picture you will also see my spa buddy – my rubber ducky – hanging out with me.  Do you have this much at the spa?  Signed Dewey

Dear Dewey – WOW – No my friend.  I can’t say that I personally have that much fun at the spa.  Now my little brother Houdini, he might.  Last time he went to the spa, mom walked in on him chatting up with a cute little poodle that he met.  I’ve heard that the spa is the next best thing to Animal Harmony in meeting other anipals.  Let me know – have you found love there at your spa?

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  Dear Bacon – I admit it.  I didn’t jump hard or far enough.  I was shooting for the table where there was some food.  I may have underestimated and hit the garbage can.  Yep the humans heard.  Nope they didn’t help.  Of course they had to take a picture of my unfortunate landing for Facebook before rescuing me.  Isn’t that some kind of goat abuse or something?  Signed Merlin

Dear Merlin – Really?  Your humans took a picture of your unfortunate landing huh?  Well, might I suggest the next time your humans get – what does my mommy call it – tossed, take their picture.  What?  You don’t know what tossed is?  That’s when the humans drink that alcohol stuff too much and act whacky.  My mom calls it tossed.  Apparently they act worse then some anipals we know when they do this.  Have your camera aimed and ready to shoot their pictures my friends.  Karma is payback – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – What?  The humans left me alone all day long in this tiny little area to entertain myself while they went to work.  First up, no toys.  Therefore I had to find my own.  I can’t help it that those paper towels decided to blow up during our adventures together.  At least I didn’t destroy what the humans call their crap paper.  See, I’ve read on your Dear Bacon issues how important those rolls are to humans.  I still don’t get it.  We just crap and kick over it – done.  End of discussion.  Second up, there were lots of interesting wires and tube looking things behind the so called washer and dryer.  At least they didn’t start anything with me to finish.  So basically, I was a good dog, right?  So where’s my treat?  Signed Jinx

Dear Jinx – I like the way you think my friend.  If those towels had not talked back, they would still be worthy opponents this day.  I find no fault with that whatsoever.  And I do agree with you on the other.  I myself find the “crap and kick over” method worthy of moving along.  I mean heck I think if more humans did that, they would be a lot less stressed.  Maybe we can start a campaign or something?

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  Dear Bacon – Get in the car and let’s go!  I heard that Petsmart is giving out free cat treats to the first 100 customers.  They didn’t say those customers had to be humans.  We can do this – I can drive this car – sure I can.  BEEP BEEP Get out of the way humans.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix – You know I think I’m with you.  That’s honesty in advertising.  If they didn’t say humans, why not?  I wonder if I can pick up a few treats and toys while we are there.  I’ll grab dad’s credit card just in case.  I’ll be ready in five minutes!

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REMEMBER my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures via email. ❤ 

 

Do You Ever Get that Feeling?

 You know the feeling I’m talking about.  The feeling that someone is always watching your every move over your shoulder.  You can’t quite put your hoof on it but you know they are out there.  Watching and waiting.  Mommy gets the feeling a lot too – kind of like a dejavu.

Mom was typing away writing, paying the bills – you know the normal stuff in the humans lives.  She looked up to see what was on the television.  Just in that one moment, she had that feeling like someone was looking over her shoulder.  Someone was trying to spy on what she was doing with the computer.  It wasn’t me.  I was cuddled up on her legs. I looked up though and saw.

I saw the culprit that was stalking mommy and what she was doing.  Those purr things.  I’m telling you my friends.  You just can’t trust them here at the Hotel Thompson.  Hemi has mom’s bank account number now.  He’s probably on line as you are reading this blog shopping on line and making connections to Pet-Harmony.  I just know it!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.

Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.

Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!

Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon. We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,
That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!

Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

Remember friends – keep sending you pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Snorticles –

Sometimes I find the funniest things on line when I’m surfing the net late at night. Some people have some really great imaginations. I’m not sure who came up with some of these, but they are hilarious. And with me loving commercials, I could place some of the innuendo’s and some of them mom had to explain to me.

This cat reminds me of Hemi here at the Hotel Thompson. I’ve seen Hemi do this exact some pose here in front of the fireplace. You know, like he just can’t do another thing because he’s either (A) so tired or (B) so stressed. I mean really, what does he have to be stressed about? He can quit being tired if he would quit chasing this little pig around the Hotel Thompson and slapping my behinny. I’m just saying – PLOL (pig laughing out loud) . This little pig is made for LOVING not for slapping the hindquarters. Those extra digits hurt.

 

 

And this one I just snorted over and over. I got the meaning of this one really quick because I ‘used’ to tweet. It took too much time away from my wonderful friends here. And we all know that my friends here come first.

If it wasn’t for you, I would be a lonely little pig on line. And hey, they haven’t made a Pig Harmony yet that I can sign up for – snorticles.

Have a great Saturday my friends.

Hogs and Snout Kisses – Bacon

m

P.S. these pictures were found on they Internet.