Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon,  HELP!  I lost my favorite squeaky ducky.  I ❤ that ducky.  He’s my bestie in the entire world.  I haven’t been able to find him for hours.  What’s a dog to do?  I can’t sleep without him.  Can you help me find him?  Signed Lost Ducky

Dear Lost Ducky,  Uuumm.  Smile really BIG and open your mouth.  Did anything fall out?  There you go.  Lost ducky found my friend.  You two make a great team.  Go Ya’ll!

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Dear Bacon,  Can you please explain to us WHY there is *always* a longer line at the women’s restrooms.  We don’t get it.  We always have to wait while the men’s line seems to keep moving.  Can you help us out?  Signed Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed

Dear Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed,  That is a dilemma my friends.  I hear my mom talking about this all of the time.  She says it’s because women have more to do.  Not in a bad way, but ya’ll do.  That’s what makes ya’ll special.  Might I suggest when no one is looking, run to the men’s room.  Hey, if there’s no line there, why wait, right? And remember – ya’ll are beautiful!

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Dear Bacon,  Really?  Why does my humans think this picture is hilarious?  They couldn’t stop laughing.  I don’t get it.  I saw this paci thingy fall from the smaller human so I bit it to see what it is all about.  Then my humans started laughing and snapped this picture.  I don’t get it.  This stupid paci does nothing for me like it does the small crying human.  Signed Pugneck

Dear Pugneck,  Wait a minute my friend.  I need to put down my paper sack that was breathing in after seeing that picture.  So let me understand this.  You’re okay with the picture being taken.  You’re confusion falls into what exactly the paci thingy does for the crying miniature human.  Good one.  Yep, that’s where your concern should be.  You see, small miniature humans depend on those things to calm them.  It may not have that effect on say – the likes of you.  But on the other paw, it does amuse and “calm” humans to see you trying it out…. heck, it amuses me for that matter too my friend. Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon, There I was sitting on the sofa, enjoying my cup of java, fresh out of the shower and watching Maury Povich on the television.  I was minding my own business.  Then walks in the cable guy and snaps this picture of me on his cell phone.  WTD?!  Don’t we have any privacy in our own home anymore?  Next thing I knew, the cable man had tweeted this out to all his friends.  Talk about an invasion of privacy.  The nerve!  Signed Dog of Leisure

Dear Dog of Leisure, WOW – the cable man got to your house that early?  That in itself is amazing brother.  I can’t believe that.  A cable man that actually shows up FIRST thing in the morning?  WOW – I’m amazed at that.  It took the cable man two weeks and four hours to show up here at the Hotel Thompson for our last upgrade.  Astonishing.  Oh, I’m sorry.  You had a problem about the picture being tweeted.  Here’s what you do.  Under the tweet, tweet that the cable man actually showed up FIRST thing in the morning.  He’ll be trashed by other cable men for letting them down in his accuracy.  You just wait – stay strong and carry on!

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Dear Bacon,  my humans will suffer the consequences of this get up on me.  The disgust.  The nerve.  The humiliation.  Oh dear Lord, help me out buddy.  Signed Not Amused

Dear Not Amused,  Well at least it has your seal of not being amused – snorts.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t joke in a time like this.  I would clap for your approval but I don’t think you could do that for me.  I gotta ask though.  Is there a drop pouch for potty breaks?  If not, someone is going to have some cleaning up on aisle three to do – double snorts.  Hey, I’m joking.  I’m sorry little buddy.  You do look cute though.  Not many pooches could carry that one.  Wear it with pride.  That’s it.  And hey, if the seal isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

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Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep sending me your questions and pictures to baconthompson@gmail.com

 

The Valentines Date to Remember

 You voted for it and the two winners were Benedict and Rockelle for their hot date on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2014.  The day started off with a lot of primping, planning and excitement.  Manny and Bashful helped Benedict get ready for the day as Princess Coralena and Virginia helped Rockelle.

The day started off with the exchanging of some gifts.  In the picture to the left, Benedict gave Rockelle a special box of chocolates telling her how he feels.  Notice, “You Caught My Eye” was written on the box.  Nice touch Benedict!  In the picture to the right, Rockelle gave Benedict a red hot love ducky because she went quackers for him.  Nice touch Rockelle.

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Then, it was time for dinner.  Mom and dad researched a lot of restaurants that would be unique for the happy couple.  Something that touched both of them in

a different way.  Something that made them think of their homelands.  You know since Rockelle is from Australia and Benedict is

from the United Kingdom.  A place maybe they didn’t have from their birth places but something  that was unique to the United States.  Then the light bulbs went off in their heads and they knew of the perfect place.  Reservations were made and mom/dad (AKA the chauffers for the night) then bundled the two up for their romantic dinner.

 

Yep, that’s right.  They went to Hooters on Tara Boulevard.  The night started off with some shots in the picture to the left.  After a few shots, Benedict and Rockelle loosed up a bit and started talking about their feelings for each other.  In the picture to the right, you can tell that there was a magnetic pull to each other.  Perhaps love was starting to erupt?

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. They did a few shots to loosen up – you know liquid courage.  Hooters is a great place that plays a variety of different music.  Once they were loosed up, they were rocking to the music.  Benedict asked Rockelle to dance.  They did the electric rock slide and the pebble shuffle… you know instead of the two step or twerking.

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After the shots and all of that dancing, they thought they might need to get something on their stomachs.  You know drinking without eating makes one light headed and who knows what would roll around then?  They started with some buffalo shrimp.  Who needs utensils?  It is finger food so they both dived into the plate.  Benedict was such a gentleman and actually wiped some sauce off of Rockelle’s face.  Of course the proper way would have been by using a napkin instead of using his tongue.  But she seemed to like it.

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Both liked fish so they decided to order the big fried fish sandwich.  It was enough to share.  And there is a reason that it’s called the big fish sandwich.  Do you see how big that fish is? This was certainly one that didn’t get away and was a keeper.   Benedict started on one side and Rockelle started on the other side.  They met in the middle.  And the little round things are tater tots. It’s often been said that Benedict looks like a potato so it isn’t a shocker that he absolutely loved the tots.  

 And Hooters, they are known for their wings.  Yeah, that’s right. They’re known for their delicious wings.  They got some of those to try as well.  What’s a great night out if you don’t have lots of food.  And they were there for several hours getting to know each other.  The wings were fried, breaded and medium – mmmm – Rockelle loved them.

And, of course there is one more thing you have to do when you are at Hooters.  I’m not sure if you are familiar with this restaurant.  The staff is wonderful, gracious and very out going.  They were wonderful to Benedict and Rockelle on their special date night.  And since this was their first time at the restaurant, they wanted to give them a memory in a picture.  So, they all decided to have their picture taken with the special couple.

 

Notice the two in the picture.  And the girls were gorgeous.  But after the photograph, Benedict assured Rockelle that she was the beauty and he only had eyes for her.  aaww – way to go Benedict!  

 After they left Hooters, they didn’t want the date to end.  They decided they needed something sweet.  And again, Benedict came through.  While they were in the back seat, mom/dad overheard Benedict tell Rockelle there was nothing they could get that would be sweeter than her.  I think by this point they were holding hands as well.

They decided they wanted ice cream so mom/dad (AKA Chauffers) took them to Baskin Robins where they enjoyed a scoop of snickers ice cream.  By this time, they wanted to sit at a separate table from mom/dad so they could talk by themselves.  Mom and dad heard a lot of giggles so it seems they were getting along great.

Date night must have went really well because the next morning, Benedict and Rockelle were seen in the kitchen sharing a heart shaped doughnut.  This special date night might be the start of something fabulous – maybe even a great relationship like Bogey and McCall.  One never knows.

So friends, pat yourselves on the backs for a wonderful twosome.

I would like extend a special thank you to Mike Fiely the manager at Hooters and his wonderful staff located at 6785 Tara Boulevard, Jonesboro.  Ya’ll really helped this little piggy out in making this special date night one to remember for my pet rocks.  I would say, “You Rock!”