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Boo! Welcome to 31 Days of Spook

    Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter!  Thank goodness the first day of October fell on the weekend.  It gives you a relief of some sort – if you look at it that way.  Oh don’t worry.  October won’t be all about pumpkins that can’t hold their beer.  Oh no.  October will be about spooks, things that go bump in the night and oh did I mention certain clowns?  We can’t forget about those clowns.  So my friends… enjoy the pumpkins today.

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10 Comments

Posted by on 10/01/2017 in 31 Days of Spook, Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

After reading your column last week about a cat that does yoga, I thought what the heck. My master has a room for meditation so I tried it.

This position is called my sitting dog pose. I really does work on calming your nerves. Thanks little pig. Signed Peaceful Pal

Dear Peaceful Pal,
I’m glad it worked out for you. You do look really grounded in that picture. Keep up the great work!


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Dear Bacon – hiccup,

My humans tell me that – slurred – I’m spending too much time with my close friend Jose. Hiccup. They don’t complain about me catting around on the streets anymore. They just don’t like my choice of friends. Hiccup. What should I do. Can they pick my friends? Signed Frisky Fiesta

Dear Frisky Fiesta,
You do understand that your friend Jose is not really ‘real’, right? Instead of having a problem with your choice of ‘friends’, you’re humans might want to look into some classes for you… With TAA (Tomcats Alcohol Anonymous). Perhaps you should lose the hat, get a new friend and start listening to the humans. Take care my friend.


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Dear Bacon,

Are baths really necessary? They freak me out. Signed Wet Purrbie

Dear Wet Purrbie,
I love baths. They’re very relaxing. Especially when mom puts bubbles in the water. Instead of fighting it, embrace it. My purr things here love the water. We all do. After a bath, we all get our hair done – that is heaven. Find your happy place during bath time and learn to enjoy it.


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Dear Bacon,

Just wanted to let you know man that we enjoy your posts. Happy Friday. Signed Don’t Worry Be Happy

Dear Don’t Worry Be Happy,
Thanks so much. It takes support and encouragement from fans like you to keep it going. I appreciate that. Happy Friday back to you.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 08/15/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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31 Days of Spook – The Wood Pile Devil

Welcome my friends to the first day of my 31 Days of Spook!  We love this time of year here at the Hotel Thompson.  It’s one of my busiest months trying to keep all of you my friends in blogville just at the right amount of teeth chattering, sitting on the edge and being scared of your own shadow.  I hope that you stay with me all month and enjoy my 31 Days of Spook.  Today, I start off my tales from a special scary story from my brother Easy.  What exactly was seen that can not be unseen in the middle of the night?  Read the story to find out and be sure to let Easy know your thoughts.  Now, lock the doors and shut the windows… you might even want to turn on a light – boo!

It happened many moons ago to the boyfriend of my mommas friend. That boyfriend had a granny who lived in a small village behind the 7 mountains near Nowheresville. Every year in Shocktober, the people there celebrated a kind of a harvest festival, called Kirmes.  That year, the guy invited his girlfriend and my momma to visit that fest and his granny agreed to let them stay over night.

They celebrated with the people of the small village and the booze ran like the Niagara Falls. After they were well filled, my mom and her friend walked to the home of that granny, placed the empty popcorn buckets next to their bed and fell asleep, while the boyfriend found no end and was glued to the beer-fountain.

In the early morning, they woke up by flashing lights and hullaballoo in front of the house. It was caused by the boyfriend who called the police…

BECAUSE:

As he went home plastered like the yellow brick road, he saw a movement next to a wood pile on the yard of his granny. And he swore by the sun and the moon and the stars and by all brewsky of slice earth that he saw the face of the devil what peeked around that wood pile. He could describe every part of the devilish face and he gave the pawlice all details that they could make a fabulous composite sketch.

Butt the pawlice was eggstremely farouche and they refused to start a dragnet operation. They brought no dogs and hey refused to pulverize the woodpile with machine guns and silver bullets nor would they throw grenades on that pile – Come on pawlice! That’s denial of assistance in an emergency case… and hey, that’s YOUR CHANCE to save the world from the evil.

Sadly the pawlice wasn’t keen to earn endless fame and famousness and after some dingy comments about barflies and drunkards they left the crime scene.  And that pawlice actually had the nerve to send a bill for the pawlice operation… 170 bucks… for nothing.


Yes, I know… if more alcohol than blood runs in our veins, it happens that we see “things”… but this guy was scared to death and he was sober with fear immediately. And also the next day he swore that he saw His Diabolic Majesty in the furs… and even as my mom met him by chance some years later, he told her the same story… and he swore again that he saw the devil….

We don’t know what or whom this guy saw that night, but with his detailed description I made an identikit, just in case you walk home once from a harvest festival …
VIOLA… here we have it …

 

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25 Days of Christmas Cards – Day 16

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23 Comments

Posted by on 12/16/2013 in Bacon, Christmas Cards

 

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