Travels in the South

 Welcome my friends to another edition of Travels in the South.  This week in honor of the eclipse, we want to bring you something special.  Something that is so out of this world that mom had to make pre-arrangements last week so she could partake in this glory.  Pre-arrangements as in she walked extra – snorts with piggy laughter.  And I don’t blame her because this was well worth the extra calories.

We’ve all heard of Krispy Kreme.  It’s a doughnut chain  that makes awesome doughnuts of every kind imaginable.  And when the HOT doughnut sign is on, it means they have hot glazed doughnuts coming off of the conveyor.  Hot glazed doughnuts that will melt in your mouth from being so fabulous.  Okay give me a second – I need a moment.

Okay I’m good.  With the eclipse coming this week, just for last weekend their regular glaze went chocolate.  Can you imagine hot doughnuts going through a waterfall of fabulously hot chocolate?  Trust me.  It sounds much better than what it looks.  But you can see from the pictures what I’m talking about.
   

Now do you see the hot chocolate glazed doughnuts in the box?  Yes trust me on this.  Mom/dad said they tasted so much better than what they look in the box – ha!  Their thoughts about the first time chocolate eclipse doughnuts?  They come off the conveyor hot.  They are great but messy.  I mean messy.  Mom told daddy that she thought she was going to have to hose him down before he got into the Jeep.  That kind of messy.  But good.  And mom said she preferred them once they went cold.  They weren’t as messy then – which she loved.  Either way, it was a once in a lifetime treat all the way around.  And yeah, mom/dad didn’t forget about me.  They brought me one of my favorites – an apple fritter.  Now *that’s* what I’m talking about!

 

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

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Ahoy, mateys!  Today, September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!  It’s a day for fun – you know a day to let our inner pirate come out just for fun.  Practice your pirate talk and talk like a pirate all day long to everyone.  See how much fun you can have telling people to ‘walk the plank’… chitter chatter – so funny!  Just remember, it’s not required that you dress like a pirate as long as you talk like a pirate.

For your convenience, I’m adding a few words that might come in handy this day.  Be sure to fit them into your conversations somewhere and see the reaction on people’s faces.

Ahoy! – “Hello!”

Avast! – “Whoa! Get a load of that!”

Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”

Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

Arrr! – “Yes,” “I agree”; “I’m happy”; “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” Note:  not to be confused with Arrgghh

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in,“C’mere, me beauty.”.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it?

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water. Call your beer grog if you want.

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do. 

And of course, Bacon’s dad is bouncing right along with today.  He’s already confronted Bacon’s mom with a couple of what shall we say ‘off-colored’ pirate talk this morning.  Shakes my head.  He has persuaded me in a bucket of nuts to add a few of his oh so wonderful pick up lines.  (Yes, I can be bought and influenced and I know you are going to try a few of these so there.)

And, I’m taking bets how much Bacon’s mom can take before she makes him walk the plank!

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Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

Come on up and see me urchins.

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Happy International Pirate Day me buckos!  Oh and by the way, here is a picture of me and Houdini where we dressed up like pirates.  Snorts!

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And this morning on the way to the worky place, mom is picking up these doughnuts in honor of Pirate Day – I really hope she remembers to bring me and daddy one home tonight!

 

Shopping with Mom/Dad

  Oh my friends.  Last weekend during mom/dad’s shopping marathon of running errands, they did make it to the grocery store.  Now mom, she is a coupon clipping queen and sticks to a budget.  In fact, daddy tells her that she can make Mr. Abraham Lincoln squeal when she is in a grocery store.  And hey with your coupon clipping, there are times that the store literally pays her for getting some things.

With those savings, she told daddy (who has a wickedly large sweet tooth) that he get one item of sweet stuff.  My humans what can I say – they try to eat better where they can.  That means something, right?

Well she asked him what he wanted and he said donuts.  So off they trot after doing the shopping so she can let him know his choices.  That’s when he picks this – Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts.  Yep you read that right.  RED VELVET donuts.  Dad was smitten right there and then on aisle 5 at our grocery store.  Mom thought for a moment that she was going to have to give him a moment.  Rolls piggy eyes.

Well dad got his sacred donuts and finally brought his package out today.  Oh my piggy heavens.  He even gave me one.  Heaven.  There is the best word to describe those sacred little morsels.  He ate a few and then put the package back up.  I call that restrain.  I think I would have eaten the entire bag.  Have you seen these in your local grocery store?  If you do, I give them three hooves up… I would say four hooves but I would tumble over – snorts.

 

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

.

.

Ahoy, mateys!  Today, September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!  It’s a day for fun – you know a day to let our inner pirate come out just for fun.  Practice your pirate talk and talk like a pirate all day long to everyone.  See how much fun you can have telling people to ‘walk the plank’… chitter chatter – so funny!  Just remember, it’s not required that you dress like a pirate as long as you talk like a pirate.

For your convenience, I’m adding a few words that might come in handy this day.  Be sure to fit them into your conversations somewhere and see the reaction on people’s faces.

Ahoy! – “Hello!”

Avast! – “Whoa! Get a load of that!”

Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”

Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

Arrr! – “Yes,” “I agree”; “I’m happy”; “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” Note:  not to be confused with Arrgghh

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in,“C’mere, me beauty.”.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it?

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water. Call your beer grog if you want.

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do. 

And of course, Bacon’s dad is bouncing right along with today.  He’s already confronted Bacon’s mom with a couple of what shall we say ‘off-colored’ pirate talk this morning.  Shakes my head.  He has persuaded me in a bucket of nuts to add a few of his oh so wonderful pick up lines.  (Yes, I can be bought and influenced and I know you are going to try a few of these so there.)

And, I’m taking bets how much Bacon’s mom can take before she makes him walk the plank!

.

Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

Come on up and see me urchins.

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Happy International Pirate Day me buckos!  Oh and by the way, here is a picture of me and Houdini where we dressed up like pirates.  Snorts!

.

And this morning on the way to the worky place, mom is picking up these doughnuts in honor of Pirate Day – I really hope she remembers to bring me and daddy one home tonight!

 

Snow Conspiracy?

 Just when you’ve thought you’ve heard everything, snow conspiracy?  Yep I said snow conspiracy.  Shakes piggy head.  I was watching a local television news show here in Atlanta on WSB TV this weekend.  They were reporting that this nighmare of a snow ‘storm’ we had last week was a hoax.  Do you hear me?  A hoax. 

Let me present exhibit A to the right here.  This is a picture of part of my magical backyard.  Notice the “conspiracy” snow in the picture?  Looked real to me.  Heck, it felt real to my hooves when I was outside running around in it.  Of course, I don’t have anything to compare it to because it was my first snow but it felt and looked real to me.  And OMP (oh my pig) – I tasted this conspiracy snow.  What will happen to me?  Who do I need to call?  Am I going to blow up or become a mutant?  What will this piggy do?!

So are you wondering what this conspiracy theory is about?  WSB TV reported the following: 

“The conspiracy reasoning goes like this: the snow is unusual in Georgia and other southeast areas and doesn’t melt when burned. Therefore, it must be fake snow.”

WOW.  Considering that reasoning, even this oinker has to scream conspiracy – rolls piggy eyes.  Yes it’s true.  Atlanta got what 2.5 inches of snow and literally shut down with the highways being parking lots.  There’s reasoning behind that – really there is.  I’ve thought long and hard about the situation.  I mean heck I had a lot of time on my hooves with being snowed in this past week – snorts.  Let’s discuss.

1 – Atlanta is in the south.  We just *don’t* get snow that often.  I think the last time mom and dad remembers snow it was in 2008.  That’s a long time ago considering how often other places get snow.

2 – Most places have more than one snow truck.  Our snow truck works.  I’m sure it’s a great snow truck.  But you see Bubba only drives it what every 5-6 years and this year he lost the keys.  By the time he found them, highways were now parking lots.

3 – That 2.5 inches that fell here was a LOT to us.  Consider what my friend Nylablue in Canada who has had 8 FEET recently.  Our 2.5 inches is like having 8 FEET.  We just don’t deal with it very well in any way.  Heck in reality, seeing one itty bitty snowflake here shuts us down completely.  And I do mean completely.  You even mention snowflake on the local news and it’s a mad house.  The grocery stores are bombarded like someone saying free doughnuts at Krispy Kreme.  Shivers – that should be a conspiracy theory.

4 – Did anyone think that perhaps it wasn’t a conspiracy theory by the government?  Maybe it was an alien takeover?  Perhaps Bigfoot sneezed?  Maybe the clouds cried?  And here’s a big could have been.  Perhaps all of the people that use dandruff shampoo washed all of their dandruff down the drain and the drain finally exploded?  Yeah, that could happen.

 

As you can tell, I’ve had a lot of time to think this over.  And let me finally present to you exhibit B to the left.  You knew there was going to be something Mickey Mouse in this post – snorts.  This is one of mom’s statues on the back deck of my magical backyard. 

Perhaps the conspiracy snow was well snow… real snow fallen from the sky in a place in the south that just doesn’t get much snow.

WOW – That almost makes so much sense that it doesn’t sound real.  hhhmm – conspiracy snow anyone?

 

Name That Product/Company and/or Jingle – ANSWERS

Edition 3 –

Name That Product/Company and/or Jingle!

Here are the answers from yesterday’s posting.  How many did you get right?

 

1. Time to make the doughnuts.  Dunkin Donuts
2. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.  Almond Joy/Mounds
3. Rolling back prices.  Wal-Mart
4. It’s finger lickin’ good.  KFC
5. Let your fingers to the walking.  Yellow Pages
6. Expect more, pay less.  Target
7. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.  Timex
8. A diamond is forever.  Debeers
9. Does she or doesn’t she?  Clariol
10. Melts in your mouth not in your hands.  M&M

And the winner is:

 

Name That Product/Company and/or Jingle!

Edition 3 –

”NAME THAT PRODUCT/COMPANY and/or JINGLE!” 

Everyone had such a great time last week with the first edition that I thought we would try it again.  This time, we are going a little harder

Let’s see how many you can get right.  Remember – don’t cheat.

 

1. Time to make the doughnuts.
2. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t!
3. Rolling back prices.
4. It’s finger lickin’ good.
5. Let your fingers do the walking.
6. Expect more, pay less.
7. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
8. A diamond is forever.
9. Does she or doesn’t she?
10. Melts in your mouth not in your hands. 

Remember – have fun with it!  Answers will be posted tomorrow – XOXO Bacon