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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.


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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.


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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!


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Dear Bacon,
I coach a soccer team on the weekends. We are always looking for a few new team players. You ever think about playing? I’ve heard that snout of yours can be classified as a deadly weapon.

We could use a player like you. What do you say? Signed Coach Jones of Team Anipals

Dear Coach Jones of Team Anipals,

That sounds like a great deal of fun. I’m In to give it a shot. This snout is very wicked and these hooves are very fast!!


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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

 

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 08/14/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Barks!  Sometimes one has to shoot for the moon – shoot for the stars – or in my case shoot the hoop.  I went off with mom and some of her friends were playing b-ball.  They asked me if I wanted to play.  How could I refuse?  Especially when the guys help me out with my dunks.  It was an awesome time for sure.  I loved chasing the ball.

It was just kind of hard for me to dribble but hey they understood.  Have you ever gotten your paw on the hoop or backboard?  Now that is some fun for sure.  I highly recommend it!

 

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,
What? Don’t hate. You know you want a hat just like mine so you can play outside with it. Right? Signed Scooter

Dear Scooter,

Yeah, sure. I would absolutely LOVE to have a hat like yours to wear outside and make the funny thing on top go around and around Maybe if it was real windy, I could fly. I like the sound of that! So, yes two please my friend 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
This is just me telling my friends on how to get more seed and nuts from the humans. Any suggestions for us? Signed Cute as Can Be

Dear Cute as Can Be,

Well you can also take tips from Journalist Rocky the Squirrel. He knocks on our back door frequently asking for a cup of nuts for him and his family. Mom even throws leftover bread out to them to help them out. You know, you do what you have to do. This economy has hit us all! Take care my friends. If you are ever near the Hotel Thompson, knock on the back door. 🙂


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Dear Bacon,
I’ve read about your adventures in your magical back yard. Now this is what *I* consider a magical back yard… with drink in hand! You’re mom promised you a pool. Make her pay up pal. Signed Simple Puss

Dear Simple Puss,

I like the way you think my friend! My mommy made a lot of promises to get me outside. Although its only happened once so far, I think I need to make her pay up with one of the promises being a pool. Do you think I would be pushing it to be able to lay in a chair with a drink and food like you have?


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Dear Bacon,
I love to play music. I can bang that keyboard with the best of them. This is me practicing, “Unleashed Melody”. It’s a sad and soothing song to us pooches. Have you ever heard of it? Do you play any musical instruments? Signed Wolfgang Pooch

Dear Wolfgang Pooch,

You do have some talent – way to go my talented young friend. I haven’t heard of that song yet but I will be sure to Google it on the internet and listen to it. I know it has to be amazing! As for this little piglet’s talent. Let me see…. I’m thinking…. mommy says I rip some good ones… but I don’t think she’s referring to a musical instrument for some reason 🙂 I’ll keep thinking about that answer. Take care and maybe we shall see you soon in the Hollywood lights!


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Dear Bacon,

Don’t even say it. I know – I know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s really funny. Ha Ha. My humans think it’s funny to dress me up as a taco. How would they like it if I dressed them up like a hot dog? BOL (Barking out loud)! Signed TB

Dear TB,

First off, tell me they didn’t name you Taco Bell – TB for short. Now that would be funny. Oh, I’m sorry. But look on the other hand. You are cute. AND, I bet if they took you to a Taco Bell in the drive thru, you would get free food. Free food – that’s good, isn’t it? Be proud little guy. Wear it with pride.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 08/07/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

But mom, Hemi started it.  Honestly – dog’s honor.  I was just sitting here on the ottoman minding my own business.  I wasn’t running up/down the hall like an elephant.  Nope.  Wasn’t me.

Don’t let Hemi’s innocent face fool you.  It was him.  Heck, he was even ricocheting off of the walls and furniture.

Go ahead.  Call in CSI so they can take paw prints.  They won’t be mine…. how could I do that?  Innocent

 

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Dear Bacon

20140330-184102.jpgDear Bacon – If it’s good enough to put the crying thing in to settle them down, why can’t I get in it too?  It seems like the screaming miniature human gets a lot of attention in this contraption.  I don’t seem to be getting the same kind.  Why?  Can you explain that to me?  Signed Dogsad

Dear Dogsad – Aaww – you poor thing.  I’m really sorry that you feel left out.  I really am.  Right now though, your humans are going through a lot with the small human.  This will pass when they don’t have to be so fussy with them.  You just be patient and stay cute my friend.


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 Dear Bacon – This means WAR!  There I was hanging out on the sofa after a really rough day of chasing the mailman and squirrels.  I was minding my own business, had my feet popped up and was enjoying a nice glass of 2012 Francis Ford Coppola Pinot Noir.  Then the lights started flashing.  My dad took this picture of me and put it all over the internet – he’s even talking about Christmas cards?!  I will be ruined!  What can I do?  Signed Sparky

Dear Sparky – Give me a second friend… snorts and squeals ridiculously loud in a paper bag.  Okay, I’m back.  Breathes in to get my bearing.  What you need to do Sparky is get a hold of that camera.  Delete the picture is tops.  Then you need to get on the human’s computer and start deleting.  I would wait until the humans all asleep and then pounce into action.


20140330-184124.jpgDear Bacon –

If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air.  If you’re happy and you know it, look so cute.  If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.  If you’re happy and you know it, throw your hooves in the air!  Signed Cute as a Lamb

Dear Cute as a Lamb –

 I’m off now to throw my hooves up in the air!  You look as adorable as well me!  Have a great one my friend and thanks for sharing!


20140330-184139.jpgDear Bacon – When the humans asked me if I wanted a pancake and I said yes, this is not what I meant.  I wanted a pancake to eat not wear.  What in the world were they thinking?!  Signed Panbunny

Dear Panbunny – I could teach you a trick with that pancake sitting on your head my friend.  My daddy taught me how to flip it off of my head and into my mouth.  You can do it – I know you can!

Happy eats.


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Dear Bacon – SQUEAL!  Look what I made!  Mini-me’s!  Aren’t they just too cute?!  Signed Surprised

 

Dear Surprised – They are totally adorable my friend!!  So very cute.  They look just like you… well except for the bright eyed, bushy tailed, surprise look – snorts.

.

.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 07/31/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Mom really how could you?  Okay I get it.  You have a shoe fetish.  I used to have one too but you broke me of that.  I get that.  But you come home with these shoes.  Really?  They have D.O.G.S. on them.  And hey get this – they are not of me.  So how could you?  I feel betrayed.  I think this look tells you everything I’m feeling.  Now be a nice sport about it.  Take those shoes off so I can take care of them if you know what I mean. 🙂

P.S.  These are mom’s new shoes.  They are Skecher BOB’s and are awesome.  I know when she wears them, she is thinking of me.  And mom says they are the most comfortable pair of shoes she has ever had.  That’s gotta mean something, right?

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but my accountant really bites.  He’s got a bad attitude and is always thinking numbers.  I don’t get it.  Why can’t accountants have pleasant personalities – maybe joke around a bit.  I think that would really show a better enthusiasm for their job.  I mean we are talking about my money, it may not be a lot but it is mine.  I thought I would show you a pic of my guy.  I have to admit though, he’s good.  He chomps down and sets to work on that keyboard.  He looks for everything he can find to deduct.  If you ever need a good accountant, let me know okay.  Signed Frogger

Dear Frogger – Well my, my, my.  Your ‘guy’ does look very – how can I say it – professional in what he does. I see what you mean by his serious look.  He does have a stern don’t mess with me kind of disposition.  Maybe the numbers bring it out in him?  Maybe bring him a gift next time – some swamp water or some Lubriderm lotion.  I’ve heard that lotion does wonders for tough skin.


Dear Bacon –  My favorite time of the day is in this picture.  It’s early morning and it’s breakfast time!  They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Trust me.  It is.  And you know what.  Milk does a body good.  My little legs will grow strong and my ‘moo’ will be coming out soon.  Cause you know what they say?  You got to moo-moo it.  HA!  I made a funny.  I told you breakfast is important – it starts my day like awesome.  Signed Tina

Dear Tina – Shaking my head.  You are right.  Breakfast is very important not to miss in starting your day.  That’s why every day, I start off with my piggy chow and Cheerios.  I gotta keep my figure in check and my cholesterol down.  This piggy has places to travel!

 

 


Dear Bacon  – Don’t you hate it when uninvited solicitors show up at your door?  Take for instance, I was settled down reading my magazines and newspaper.  You know the typical Sunday leisure day.  Then Bob showed up selling God only knows what.  I told him I wasn’t interested in and he kept on roaring.  How rude!  I finally just had to turn and walk away.  Maybe he got the hint then.  Geez, some anipals huh?  Signed Tigger

Dear Tigger – Please don’t send Bob my way.  It’s bad enough when solicitors come into our hood.  They don’t even come to our crib anymore.  Too many times they have showed up and after seeing moi answer the door, they got scared and turned away.  I don’t get it.  I was just in the doorway with daddy answering the door.  Who cares that he was wearing his Sponge Bob underwear.  Shakes head.


 

Dear Bacon – Be glad that you don’t have a desk job little piggy.  In this picture, it was a Friday at 4:45 pm – almost time for the weekend to start.  The head guy showed up in my doorway and wanted a report that was going to take at least an hour to finish and he needed it that night.  WTD?  Really?  You waited all day to tell me this at 4:45 pm?  Shakes dog head – some people have no tact.  Signed Bruiser

Dear Bruiser – OMP!  I so understand.  Mom has been done this way a time or two.  I’ll tell you what I tell her when she calls and tells us she is going to be late.  It sucks and it’s unfair!  I hope you got some overtime for staying over my friend.

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 07/24/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

What?  Me caught doing something?  I wasn’t doing anything.  Honestly – dog’s honor.  I can’t help it that Hemi slapped me in the hiney so I slapped him back… and then jumped up here barking at him so he would get into trouble.  I would never start anything – no way.  I’m too cute to start something… Yeah that’s it.

But I was up here gnawing on a dog bone that my brother Phenny sent me from across the pond.  It’s a cool bone too.  Hard plastic with lots of ridges for my teeth.  Heck, I even take that bone to bed with me at night.  I guess you could call it my security bone.  Thanks brother!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I’m so hoping to go for a spin in mom’s Prius.  That car is just my size!

Now I leave you with Jokes with Daddy – have fun friends ❤

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m getting too old to be the party dog in the crowd.  My friends are trying to have an intervention with me and took this picture.  I really didn’t think I had gotten that bad but pictures don’t lie, right?  Between the beer and the shots of tequila, I was out for the night.  I guess it’s time for me to reach out for help.  What do you suggest?  Signed Boozer

Dear Boozer – You are right my little friend.  Admission is the first step and you have taken that step in the right direction.  There are group meetings that you can attend in your area with AAA (Anipal Alcoholic Anonymous).  Make that phone call my friend and good luck with your recovery.


Dear Bacon – The big thing right now is to Netflix and chill.  I’m all for it.  This is me watching my favorite movie Willard.  If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it.  It’s amazing.  And of course no movie is perfect without the snack of some cheese.  What’s your favorite movie to chill?  Signed Will Jr

Dear Will Jr – Well my friend.  I looked up your movie.  It is what shall I say intriguing for sure.  My favorite movie lately is My Brother the Pig.  This is also an amazing movie.  And I like to watch it with snacks as well – my favorite is popcorn.  You keep chilling little guy!

 

 


Dear Bacon – Cheap labor.  That’s what I call this.  Our human has a lawn service and dude he puts us to work for kibbles.  We all have our assigned duties from leaf blower, raking and working the riding lawn mower.  It’s unheard of but it does make for some interesting looks when the humans drive by.  I’m hoping that one of the neighborhood ladies will take notice of our skills.  What do you think – we got a chance?  Signed Canine Lawn Care

Dear Canine Lawn Care – Hey, if you were in my hood, I would definitely hire you for sure my friends.  However you get the job done, that’s key in my book.  And once the ladies notice your working skills and the kibbles that you are bringing in, they will have to take numbers at your front door.  Be safe!


 Dear Bacon –  Look dude, it was a spider on the ground.  I don’t do spiders.  Nope, not at all.  And it was gigantic.  There was no way I was staying on the ground with that monster.  And those humans – they just walked around it like it was nothing.  They are the strangest people.  You afraid of those creepy crawlers too, right?  Signed Spastic

Dear Spastic – Let me get this right.  You are afraid of spiders but not height.  That’s amazing.  And what’s more amazing is that the humans are just walking by without a care not even paying you any attention.  WOW.  Too bad you can’t act like a bird and drop a little something if you know what I mean – snorts with piggy laughter.  I do understand your arachnophobia.  I myself don’t like the little pests with all of those legs either.  No one blames you for that.  Just be careful getting down off that limb okay bro.

 


Dear Bacon – Look at me – I’m a turtle.  Barks!  Okay maybe not a turtle.  Maybe a cute little pooch. Yep that’s who I am – a cute little pooch.  My human is always dressing me up different ways.  I say go for it because they always give me great treats in return.  Do your humans make you do anything stupid for treats?  Signed Michaelangelo

Dear Michaelangelo – Once my mom put me near a carton of eggs and took my picture.  She said I was the bacon and eggs in its original form.  I don’t get it but mom/dad got a great laugh out of it.  And like you as well – I got great treats.  So hey, if it doesn’t hurt us then I say wear it with pride.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on 07/17/2018 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Paw Time with Houdini

Don’t worry mom.  I’m here to protect you – even in here.  I think we all know where here is, right friends?  Who knows what could happen to our humans when they enter their litter box.  There is a lot of things in there that could hurt them.  I mean what if the flushy thing swallows them up and they disappear.  Where would we be then in getting our own food?  You do see the worried look on my face, right?  I gotta go in there with mom just to make sure she’s okay…. and that there are no monsters living in the tub.  Have you checked that place out lately my friends?  We can never be too careful!  I’m off to patrol again with daddy this time.  Be safe!

 

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