Dearest Daddy

 Dearest Daddy,

You think you are going to win the battle over the pool.  But I have news for you.  I don’t give up.  And I have a secret weapon – MOM.  Yep, I pulled that card.  You wanted specifics of said piggy pool – fine.  I’ve done some research for you.  I’ve come up with two examples of what would be piggy approved for my magical backyard.  You did say you wanted specifics right?  I mean if I need to, I can refresh your memory with exhibit 1 in this post.  You said quote, “Daddy said that I didn’t give him any specifics of what said pool could contain”.  Okay Einstein, here you go.  Here are two recommendations of said pools for your consultation.  

Sample 1 – Dog house pool.  Notice the hydrant with the bone shaped pool.  Neat.  I could go for that.  But, also notice that said pool is attached to a ‘dog house’.  Cute.  I could go for a pig house.  I mean hey, why do things half crapped, right?  You want to send me to college one day – Go Razorbacks – and have me move out.  Why not just build me my own pad in my magical backyard.  I’ll keep the parties down to a minimum.

 

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Sample 2 –  If you decide to go cough snort oink – cheap, here is another sample of goodness.  This one requires less work on your behalf… maybe just a couple of hours, less than a weekend according to how you move.  See the fun in this picture – minus said dogs.  It’s in the shade, it looks like it’s ‘made’ to be there and it’s unique – like me.  

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There you go sweet daddy of mine.  Choices with specifications.  Simple as that.  All you have to do is pick one and go for it.  But let me add, Summer is ticking away.  I do want this Summer of 2014 🙂  Just thought I would throw that out to you… I know how you are on specifics.  🙂  Signed, You’re loving Piggy Son

 

 

Trouble – Sigh

Okay, I admit it.  I get into trouble from time to time.  I’m a kid.  It’s what I do, right?  And, don’t we *all* get into trouble every once in a while?

Look at this cute, innocent ever so loving face.  Could I get into trouble?  You’re not falling for it either, huh?  I know daddy gets into trouble here at the Hotel Thompson. 

 One time mommy told daddy to get air conditioning installed in his dog house because he was going to be there for a while.  So, it happens.

So, yeah, I got into trouble.  As mommy says here at the Hotel Thompson, “You do the crime, you pay the time”.  I got my share of being in dad’s dog house yesterday.

  It went like this.  Mommy was in a clean mode.  I thought I would help her behind the sofa.  Well, I’m not as small as I used to be.  I got stuck.  After mommy stopped laughing at me because my hiney was stuck in the air, she got me out.  I might have barked back at her.  She stopped laughing then and told me that I was bad.  I really hate that word.

Then, she started vacuuming.  I might have – and that’s a really strong might have – tried to attack the vacuum cleaner.  Mom said that three lettered word again – bad.  She told me that I was pushing ‘it’.  Insert cute little piggy face here.  Pushing “IT”?

Okay, so I waddled into the unlocked kitchen by myself while she finished up in the front room.  I still couldn’t get over that she told me that *I* was pushing it.  So I did what any pig would do.  I.pushed.it.  I knocked the kittty chow over that was in the chair.  Food was raining down from the heavens!  That Iams is some great stuff and I was pigging out…. until mom came into the kitchen.  Uh-oh.

Do you know how hard is to wrangle a pig that is chomping away on something that he’s not suppose to be eating?  Snorts – near impossible.  Just ask mom.  I had a great little buffet in the kitchen until she picked me up.  Then the squealing commenced.

That was enough to get dad’s attention who was in the bedroom.  He asked mom what I did as she was taking me to the bedroom.  Her reply, “Go look at the kitchen.”  Let’s just say that dad’s colorful words are very imaginative adjectives.  I learned a lot of them yesterday.

So, mom put me in my room and told me to serve my time for the crime.  Yes I was naughty.  Yes I knew exactly what I was doing.  Yep,  I pushed mommy’s buttons.  And, I have only one thing to say about it.

How can get away with it next time without getting caught?  Snorts

 

Bacon and Daddy Dominance Training

There comes a time in a miniature pot bellied pig’s life that he starts to grow up and become an adult. Mom and dad have known through the past 18 months when it is time for me to take my next step . Well, this time around I beat them to the punch.  I’m not proud of misbehavior.  Mom says that I need to post this to come clean with my friends and myself.  I think it’s a good idea too.  You know – you get the good, you get the bad kind of thing. 

There’s lots of things to factor in with my behavior and attitude. For instance, if it’s raining and cold outside I tend to be a little aggressive and clingy. Sometimes when I don’t get my 5-6 naps during the day, I can also be a little bear to deal with at the Hotel Thompson. And if I’m scared, I can be the biggest scaredy pig you can imagine and want to be held like a baby.  You have to understand and I know that for the most part, I am the cutest, loving and most adorable little piggy here in the south.  But, there is that 10% of the time that my alter ego, Deviled Ham, comes out and I totally lose my piggy mind.  This is one of those times.

So, here we go with the admission… which is good for this pigs soul (that’s what mommy says.) 

For the past couple of days, I’ve pulled out all of the stops and have tried to show my dominance over daddy. You see, me and mom have a different kind of relationship and I don’t have to show dominance with her. But daddy, well that’s another story. Here and there, I’ve oinked and barked at him to back off and get away. But the past couple of days have been different. I might have… perhaps… well… maybe I jumped him in the hallway at the Hotel Thompson.

I know – I know – I shouldn’t have. I understand he feeds and takes care of me all day long while mommy is at the worky place. It’s just that I wanted to show him that “I” was the dominant one. I understand that it was a major bad thing… especially after he called mommy at the worky place and told her about my behavior. Yeah, that wasn’t good. I was totally grounded to my room until she got home. 

You have to also understand that there’s three males at the Hotel Thompson – me, daddy and Master Hemi.  Now, that little Master Hemi is a 10 pound terror.  HE is dominant over me and knows exactly how to put this little pig in his place – shivers.  So that leaves daddy.  All I gotta say is bad mistake.

Since this type of misconduct is totally unacceptable at the Hotel Thompson, mom had to figure out why and what to do with me. She called my piggyatrician and they had a long talk. Well, did you know that at this age in my life is when dominance tries to come out. So, now we know what the problem is so you’re asking yourself what is the solution. Well, there’s a word I don’t hear much of but I’m going to learn today. Me and dad have to start dominance training…. well that and me writing 100 times on my chalkboard, “I am not dominant over daddy, I am not dominant over daddy.”

Training has already started and I’m glad to report that daddy says I’m getting better already. It’s a good thing too because me being dominant is really not like me. I’m a sweet, innocent, loving miniature pot bellied pig. But, I’m just like any other child. I have to be shown what my limitations are when I try to push them. This is something that me and daddy have to work out. I will definitely keep you posted on our progress.

I post this today because with the good you also need to see the bad little piggy in me. It helps with keeping me straight in my behavior. See, I’m growing up with that admission.

But you have to tell me my four legged friends out there – I’m not the only one that has or is going through this process, right? Please assure me.

XOXO – Bacon