RSS

Tag Archives: doctors

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Oh dude.  They say that sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.  Well, I’ve been walking around everywhere and licking different kinds of frogs.  I mean, a kiss brings a prince.  I don’t need a prince.  I just need a man to take care of my beautiful self.  And hey, I figured a lick would suffice.  But this one tastes funny.  It doesn’t taste anything like chicken – I will tell you that.  What do you think of my situation?  Signed Halli

Dear Halli – Oh my friend.  I hate to be the one to tell you this but sometimes certain frogs cause hallucinations.  So if you lick one, you might *think* it’s your prince or soulmate when it’s really not.  I mean heck, personally I think a lot of humans do the same thing – lick the wrong humans and hallucinate of a wonderful happily ever after life when they know better.  My suggestion is maybe quit licking and looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong.  You will find the perfect soulmate when you least expect it.  I know you will!


Dear Bacon – I work in my family’s veterinary office.  I think that I am in the right field.  How many anipals do you know that go to a vet’s office and just don’t understand why they are there or what is going on.  I’m here to offer my assistance and paw in explaining the situation.  You know like a lifeline into the unknown.  I think our profession is lost.  We need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices – they can definitely be a scary place.  Signed Vega, KA (kitty assistant)

Dear Vega – I think this is an absolutely wonderful idea!  You are so right.  We do need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices.  They are scary and I would love to have a helping paw when I visit.  Keep up your awesome work my friend!


 

Dear Bacon – Sometimes you just get tired and want to pick up and move on to your next destination.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes you feel like  you need to travel to touch others and make a statement in your life.  I feel that need.  Cause you know, nobody knows what baggage we carry.  We gotta travel the world and the seven seas and touch as many people as we can.  What do you think?  Signed Hobo

Dear Hobo – I’m just sitting here smiling my sweet friend.  You are right.  Sometimes you feel the need to travel.  Other times you feel the need to come back home.  You know what they say – different strokes for different folks.  If it makes you happy, go for it my dear friend.  I am no one to judge.

 


.Dear Bacon – You may be too young to remember Mr. Owl so let me tell you about him.  Once upon a time in cartoon land, a little boy brought Mr. Owl a sucker and asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.  Well, Mr. Owl licked the Tootsie Pop three times and then bit into the Tootsie Pop thus telling the child three times.  Knowing this information, I thought I would really go for the gold and see how many licks it takes to get to the center of that Tootsie Pop.  I’ve been sitting out here in the sun all day licking.  As you can see, I still have Tootsie Pop and now my fur is smoking hot.  What is the moral of this story?  If you are going to lick to get to the center, do it in air conditioning.  It’s too hot out here.  Signed Hot Pockets

Dear Hot Pockets – You poor thing.  At least you don’t have to worry about tan lines, right?  🙂  That’s positive thinking for sure.  But you didn’t tell us.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  The world will never know.


 

Dear Bacon – Don’t judge.  I went to jump out the window and got stuck.  Darn this belly.  I know you have a belly – I’m not judging by any means – but how do you manage these positions?  Please tell me.  Signed Garfield

Dear Garfield – Dude, you might want to think about cutting back just a little.  I’m not judging, trust me.  I mean heck, one time I got stuck behind the couch by my belly and all you could see were my hind legs running in the air behind me.  Shivers.  A day I will never forget.  So just like you, I cut back just a little for future escapades.  Be safe my friend.  You got this!

 


❤ Remember sweet friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters ❤

 
26 Comments

Posted by on 09/27/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon

20140717-070656-25616520.jpgDear Bacon – sshh be very quiet.  I’m the KING of hide and go seek with the dumb dog.  He *never* looks up.  I could have killed him several times with these massive claws of mine but I didn’t.  I let him live to see another day of how stupid he is.  Meow – just goes to show that the cat is the better breed in the anipal world.  How are you at hide and go seek my friend?  Signed Meows Hanging Tall

Dear Hanging Tall –  I would have to beg the difference with you my friend.  Pigs are pretty smart and intelligent as well.  Believe it or not but we are some of the smartest anipals in the world.  We don’t give away our secrets.  You may feel the need to hang from the doorway in your ‘hiding’ spot.  Keep up your ninja skills because after the pooch see’s this Dear Bacon issue, he will know exactly where you are hiding these days. :).

.


20140717-070657-25617073.jpg

Dear Bacon –  The humans gave us this great idea.  You see when they go to the doctor – even if it’s for a sore throat – and the doctor tells them to disrobe, they do it without thinking about it because a DOCTOR said to.  So me and my bro thought we can do that too.  We are going to set up shop in the hood and when the ladies come, we are going to do the same thing.  Sweet huh?  Signed Doctors Doogy and Albert

Dear “Doctors Doogy and Albert” –  Oh my piggy heavens!  Really?  One word my friends.  Just word is only needed.  PERVERTS.  P.S.  Stay away from my friends.

.


20140717-070656-25616763.jpgDear Bacon –  Help!  The humans brought this Sir Barks A Lot miniature thing they call a dog into my home.  I have been stuck on this couch forever.  It won’t shut up.  It’s telling ME the rules of MY house.  What the cream cheese?  Make it stop dude.  Please.  Signed Helpless on Vinyl

Dear Helpless on Vinyl –  Not you too my friend?  My humans brought home one as well who likes to demand things.  Rolls piggy eyes.  The safest way to proceed, ignore him.  Hopefully he will go away.  And please come down off of the couch.  Look at yourself.  Cowering down over a pooch of what six pounds.  Oh my goodness – you do live with me!  My grief of torture is also six pounds.  We must unite.  Call me okay.  Maybe we can airmail them somewhere.  Snorts.

.


20140717-070657-25617522.jpg

.Dear Bacon – I don’t get why some dogs don’t like baths.  I ❤ baths.  When the humans leave for an evening out, the first thing I do is get the water running and add some bubbles.  Then I turn down the lights and jump in.  I know I have at least 2-3 hours before the humans return.  I highly recommend it.  What do you think?  Signed Splish Splash

Dear Splish Splash –  Well I must admit that you look really happy in your fun palace of bubbles.  If that’s what you are into, then I say enjoy buddy.  Everyone needs some way to let go of a little stress.  What are you hurting?  .

.


REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU.  Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 02/17/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

31 Days of Spook – Day 22

Hello my friends.  I’m so glad to see that you are staying with me during my 31 Days of Spook.  Hasn’t it been fun?  Scary?  Are you second guessing the bumps you hear in the middle of the night?  Today, I want to talk about something that I learned about coffins.  It’s an interesting tale of a time back when.

Did you know that around 1829, they had bells attached to coffins?  I didn’t either until I stated doing some research.  You’ll never believe what those little bells were for.  Evil snort.  People in this time often got smallpox, diphtheria and cholera and doctors hastily pronounced they were dead and signed death certificates.  Sometimes they did this without even seeing the bodies themselves – just by the word of family.  Medical procedures were nothing like they are today.  Often with such, people were buried and and would wake up in a casket – shivers – the fear of that!  Patents were put out on caskets that had a hole drilled the coffin through which a chord was run that would be attached to a bell that was mounted above the grave.  The chord handle was placed in the ‘dead’ person’s hand just in case they ‘woke up’ from the dead.  They could ring the bell in hopes that someone would hear above and dig them back up.  It was an unfortunate time to live through, you think?

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 10/22/2013 in Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,