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Paw Time with Houdini

This is me friends from last weekend.  I was worn out.  Not from running, playing or chasing Hemi or Bacon.  Nope not anything fun at all.  I had just gotten back home from the three lettered bad place – V.E.T.  Before I go further, let me discuss something with you humans.  Us anipals know how to spell.  You don’t have to spell V.E.T.  We know that is the place that we all despise.  I mean really.  Buy us a drink first.  Get to know us if you will before you violate our captains quarters.  I’m just saying and I think I speak for everyone on that private matter.  So on this date, I was visiting our vet for my yearly shots.  How those yearly shots get here so fast!  Being a Yorkshire Terrier, I can admit that our breed is a little… how should I say it….nervous about these things.  Yeah, that’s the perfect word.  So before I get my shots and the doctor feels me up, the staff usually gives me a little Benadryl to cut the edge to calm my inner Yorkie down.  So there I was one shot of Benadryl in my rump and I am chilling in my dad’s arms.  And might I add, I didn’t bark, whimper and growl at that shot.  I was a good boy.  So there I am chilling and the lady doctor finally comes in.  Mom/dad and the doctor are talking and the doctor tells daddy she is going to take me away from him for a couple of moments.  Now comes the good part.  As the doctor reaches out to get me, daddy barks and growls at her!  Seriously – the dude growled and barked!!  Rolls with puppy laughter.  For an older lady, the doctor sure did jump pretty high.  I was greatly impressed.  Of course mom fussed at daddy.  I just laughed and got excited for a few minutes…. that is until I saw the doctor going towards my captains quarters.  I ended up getting two more shots – again with no barking, growling or whimpering.  I was a good pooch mom said.  So good that I got to go by the pet store on the way home to pick out a new toy.  Daddy on the other hand didn’t get a toy because of his growling/barking.

 

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Boo! H.H. Holmes

I know you are asking yourself who in the world is H.H. Holmes and why is he being featured on my 31 Days of Spook?  The name sounds so plain and innocent.  But I assure, it is not.  You see H.H. Holmes is the common name of Dr. Henry Howard Holmes (who was actually born Herman Webster Mudgett – try to figure that out huh?)  H.H. Holmes is considered America’s First Serial Killer.  Does the name sound innocent now?

Most people that want to become a doctor go into the field hoping to prevent death. H.H. Holmes went to school to become a doctor to help him out more in causing death and destruction.  Let’s start from here and let me explain to you what H.H. Holmes actually did.

It starts out in 1886 in Chicago.  H.H. Holmes built a hotel right in town near all of the fair activities.  In the time that he was building it, he often brought in different construction crews to add things and then fired that crew afterwards.  Again the next day hiring a different construction crew to work on something else at the hotel.  That way, not one construction crew or person knew of the intricacies of the hotel.  What intricacies?  Well like 100’s of windowless rooms, doorways that opened into brick walls, stairways leading to nowhere, doors that opened from the outside and don’t forget the fun rooms.  The rooms that had soundproof walls and gas lines in them to asphyxiate the guests.  Or rooms that had walls covered with iron plates and blowtorches to incinerate guests.  Or the secret hanging chamber… or the basement where he would dissect, strip the flesh off guests and then sale their bodies to medical schools.  What a host huh?

The hotel was nicknamed the Castle by the people of the area and it was three stories and a block long.  The name of the actual hotel was called the World’s Fair Hotel.  Yep, you guessed it.  The hotel was right there in the same area of the World Fair in 1893.  Just think of all of the innocent people coming to  Chicago for the World’s Fair.  They see this nice, new hotel and check in thinking they are safe… and then they are never heard from again.  Thus in the end, the hotel was then called the Murder Castle.

In the end, justice was given to H.H. Holmes.  He was eventually caught and although he claimed to have killed 27 people, it is actually thought the count could be well over 200 people!  What’s even more interesting is that H.H. Holmes is even linked to the likes of Jack the Ripper.  Some people even think that they may be one and the same.  H.H. Holmes was actually in London during the killings of Jack the Ripper.  And of course, Jack the Ripper was actually a very clean cut killer – some believe that he had a medical background.  With all of the killing that H.H. Holmes did, I would think he would fit that bill.  Do you?

Picture Mugshot from Wikipedia

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – ssss safety first is what I always hiss.  My human friend sss says the same thing.  You always buckle upsss the important things in your life when you get into the car.  Anipalsssss are no different.  Remember that my friend – ssss safety first.  Signed Mr. Slithers

Dear Mr. Slithers – Gulps – of course.  I agree strongly with you safety first.  That’s why I would *always* let you ride shot gun up front with the human – always.  In fact, I would go as far as saying I would always let you go with the human period.  I’ll just pass on this ride.  I get car sick at times anyway.  Safe travels to you and yours.  Gulps and slowly backs out of this letter.


Dear Bacon – My human must die.  There it is.  Plain and simple.  He put this stupid contraption on me and now I look like a cat.  Really?!  A cat?  That’s as creative as you can get my human?  Just wait until you go to sleep and you will go to sleep sometime.  Signed Jax

Dear Jax – Oh my piggy heavens.  Dude, your owner is very brave to dress you up like that and then to take you out in public and THEN to take your picture.  Clicking my tongue.  Yes you are right.  He must pay tonight.


Dear Bacon – That’s it.  We are ready.  It’s bad enough that we have cats chasing us around the house and inside of the house.  Now when we go out in the field, squirrels are trying to get us too.  This means war.  Bring on the hamster troops.  Cats and squirrels are going down!  Signed Troop End of Destruction

Dear Troop End of Destruction – Pardon me sir but I must ask.  Where do you find those cute little guns and fatigues??  Ok, I know you are trying to look tough but squeals with piggy excitement.  You are just way too cute to be making any havoc out there in the killing fields.  Can’t you solve this war without tragedies?  Come on.  I bet ya’ll can talk this out in a peaceful manner.  Sure  you can!  I have faith.  I can call Dr. Phil for you. I’m sure he can get you on the show.


Dear Bacon – There I was playing with Mr. Spock and all of a sudden his leg started to spontaneously shoot out white stuffing.  I’m not sure what happened but I knew we needed a medic STAT.  That’s where I jumped in with my scrubs and got to work patching up Mr. Spock.  He didn’t feel a thing during the operation.  And look, his leg will be fine in a couple of days.  It was a close call indeed Mr. Spock.  Signed Dr. Kirk

Dr. Kirk – I know that was a tough call my friend.  Thank goodness nothing beamed you up.  That would have been a tight predicament to be in and oh thank goodness you were on call for the surgery.  Can you imagine how Mr. Spock would look if you had to amputate his little leg?  The horror!


Dear Bacon – I have got to quick partying all night with the dogs in the neighborhood.  I’m not sure what people are putting in their commodes anymore.  We all went out for a few drinks and the next thing you know, I woke up like this.  Of course my friends took pictures to blackmail me with in the future.  I’m not sure what happened or what her name is.  I need help.  Really I do.  It was a ruff situation this morning doing the walk of shame.  Signed Fido

Dear Fido – Oh dude.  I would say you need therapy.  You gotta stop drinking the strange stuff in commodes.  You just never know what might be in there.  You don’t want a repeat of this night.  Oh my goodness.  Are you going to call her at least?

 
20 Comments

Posted by on 05/30/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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31 Days of Spook – H.H. Holmes

I know you are asking yourself who in the world is H.H. Holmes and why is he being featured on my 31 Days of Spook?  The name sounds so plain and innocent.  But I assure, it is not.  You see H.H. Holmes is the common name of Dr. Henry Howard Holmes (who was actually born Herman Webster Mudgett – try to figure that out huh?)  H.H. Holmes is considered America’s First Serial Killer.  Does the name sound innocent now?

Most people that want to become a doctor go into the field hoping to prevent death. H.H. Holmes went to school to become a doctor to help him out more in causing death and destruction.  Let’s start from here and let me explain to you what H.H. Holmes actually did.

It starts out in 1886 in Chicago.  H.H. Holmes built a hotel right in town near all of the fair activities.  In the time that he was building it, he often brought in different construction crews to add things and then fired that crew afterwards.  Again the next day hiring a different construction crew to work on something else at the hotel.  That way, not one construction crew or person knew of the intricacies of the hotel.  What intricacies?  Well like 100’s of windowless rooms, doorways that opened into brick walls, stairways leading to nowhere, doors that opened from the outside and don’t forget the fun rooms.  The rooms that had soundproof walls and gas lines in them to asphyxiate the guests.  Or rooms that had walls covered with iron plates and blowtorches to incinerate guests.  Or the secret hanging chamber… or the basement where he would dissect, strip the flesh off guests and then sale their bodies to medical schools.  What a host huh?

The hotel was nicknamed the Castle by the people of the area and it was three stories and a block long.  The name of the actual hotel was called the World’s Fair Hotel.  Yep, you guessed it.  The hotel was right there in the same area of the World Fair in 1893.  Just think of all of the innocent people coming to  Chicago for the World’s Fair.  They see this nice, new hotel and check in thinking they are safe… and then they are never heard from again.  Thus in the end, the hotel was then called the Murder Castle.

In the end, justice was given to H.H. Holmes.  He was eventually caught and although he claimed to have killed 27 people, it is actually thought the count could be well over 200 people!  What’s even more interesting is that H.H. Holmes is even linked to the likes of Jack the Ripper.  Some people even think that they may be one and the same.  H.H. Holmes was actually in London during the killings of Jack the Ripper.  And of course, Jack the Ripper was actually a very clean cut killer – some believe that he had a medical background.  With all of the killing that H.H. Holmes did, I would think he would fit that bill.  Do you?

Picture Mugshot from Wikipedia

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Oh dude.  They say that sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.  Well, I’ve been walking around everywhere and licking different kinds of frogs.  I mean, a kiss brings a prince.  I don’t need a prince.  I just need a man to take care of my beautiful self.  And hey, I figured a lick would suffice.  But this one tastes funny.  It doesn’t taste anything like chicken – I will tell you that.  What do you think of my situation?  Signed Halli

Dear Halli – Oh my friend.  I hate to be the one to tell you this but sometimes certain frogs cause hallucinations.  So if you lick one, you might *think* it’s your prince or soulmate when it’s really not.  I mean heck, personally I think a lot of humans do the same thing – lick the wrong humans and hallucinate of a wonderful happily ever after life when they know better.  My suggestion is maybe quit licking and looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong.  You will find the perfect soulmate when you least expect it.  I know you will!


Dear Bacon – I work in my family’s veterinary office.  I think that I am in the right field.  How many anipals do you know that go to a vet’s office and just don’t understand why they are there or what is going on.  I’m here to offer my assistance and paw in explaining the situation.  You know like a lifeline into the unknown.  I think our profession is lost.  We need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices – they can definitely be a scary place.  Signed Vega, KA (kitty assistant)

Dear Vega – I think this is an absolutely wonderful idea!  You are so right.  We do need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices.  They are scary and I would love to have a helping paw when I visit.  Keep up your awesome work my friend!


 

Dear Bacon – Sometimes you just get tired and want to pick up and move on to your next destination.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes you feel like  you need to travel to touch others and make a statement in your life.  I feel that need.  Cause you know, nobody knows what baggage we carry.  We gotta travel the world and the seven seas and touch as many people as we can.  What do you think?  Signed Hobo

Dear Hobo – I’m just sitting here smiling my sweet friend.  You are right.  Sometimes you feel the need to travel.  Other times you feel the need to come back home.  You know what they say – different strokes for different folks.  If it makes you happy, go for it my dear friend.  I am no one to judge.

 


.Dear Bacon – You may be too young to remember Mr. Owl so let me tell you about him.  Once upon a time in cartoon land, a little boy brought Mr. Owl a sucker and asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.  Well, Mr. Owl licked the Tootsie Pop three times and then bit into the Tootsie Pop thus telling the child three times.  Knowing this information, I thought I would really go for the gold and see how many licks it takes to get to the center of that Tootsie Pop.  I’ve been sitting out here in the sun all day licking.  As you can see, I still have Tootsie Pop and now my fur is smoking hot.  What is the moral of this story?  If you are going to lick to get to the center, do it in air conditioning.  It’s too hot out here.  Signed Hot Pockets

Dear Hot Pockets – You poor thing.  At least you don’t have to worry about tan lines, right?  🙂  That’s positive thinking for sure.  But you didn’t tell us.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  The world will never know.


 

Dear Bacon – Don’t judge.  I went to jump out the window and got stuck.  Darn this belly.  I know you have a belly – I’m not judging by any means – but how do you manage these positions?  Please tell me.  Signed Garfield

Dear Garfield – Dude, you might want to think about cutting back just a little.  I’m not judging, trust me.  I mean heck, one time I got stuck behind the couch by my belly and all you could see were my hind legs running in the air behind me.  Shivers.  A day I will never forget.  So just like you, I cut back just a little for future escapades.  Be safe my friend.  You got this!

 


❤ Remember sweet friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters ❤

 
26 Comments

Posted by on 09/27/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m trying to meet the poodle down the street  She won’t give me the time of the day.  She’s so cute and has the longest legs and fluffiest fur.  I’ve tried everything to impress her – gave her my dog bones, chased off cats from her home – nothing has worked though.  She still looks at me like a friend.  So, I’m bringing out the big guns.   I’m going to show up at her house tomorrow to play doctor.  What do you think?  Game plan on?  Signed Dr. Barry White

Dear Dr. Barry White – You know my friend the first thing I want to say is ABORT ABORT THE MISSION.  This sounds like a totally bad idea.  Really dude. Instead of playing a doctor, why don’t you show up with some snacks to share, play a little Barry White and then ask her for a date around the hood – just you and her.  Than later – much later – in your relationship you can bring out the doctor game.  I’m just sayin’


Dear Bacon – There I was doing what I do best, sleeping on the couch and you know purring while knocking the dog down every time he jumped up.  I mean this sofa is mine not his, right?  I admit that this was probably my first mistake.  I should have let the dog have the couch – then he would have seen the shock – or I should say Iost his puppy mind.  Because my friend what has been seen can not be unseen now.  So this is what happened.  First my grandmother walked through the room completely naked from the shower.  Okay it was ugly but I took it. But then it turned ugly – real ugly.  My grandpa then came out of the bathroom butt naked.  Oh dear Lord – the steam coming down the hall was awful.  It came into the front room and over the couch and like stayed there like an ugly cloud outside in the sky that was fixing to bust out with water.  I didn’t know what to do.  Have your humans ever made this kind of steam cloud?  Signed Head in the Mist

Dear Head in the Mist – What a minute dude.  Are you telling me that both of them were in the bathroom together at the same time naked?  Did you hear soap falling?  Cause my dad sometimes drops his soap and tells mom to come find it.  I don’t get that either but it sounds like those weird humans.  And talking about clouds – I have seen them here at the Hotel Thompson.  They usually are green and come out of the bathroom when daddy comes out.  He calls them food ghosts.  I call them deadly.


Dear Bacon – I read your issues faithfully every week – never miss them at all.  Something confuses me.  You call us anipals.  I’m not an animal.  I’m human.  Mom brings me everywhere with her, dresses me, puts me to bed just like her regular babies.  I guess something like your mom does for you.

So you see, I don’t understand when you say anipals.  We are definitely not animals.  Signed Opi

Dear Opi – First let me say that you are beautiful in your little outfit and I think that’s awesome that your mom takes you everywhere.  You see, I call us anipals because I know it’s hard to believe but we are in the animal family.  The biggest different is that we have four legs and most humans have two.

So you see we are animals BUT I call us anipals because we are all pals.  Does that make sense to  you now?  It’s not a bad thing to be called an anipal.  It’s a blessing because you know we have the best of life.  Our humans really know how to baby us beyond what we could ever think.


Dear Bacon – I tried to get on your page yesterday for Read Me a Story because that’s what I do – read stories.  You see, at night I sneak into the kids room here where I live.  I then get into my rocking share and read stories to the kids.  They absolutely love it.  But I tell them, it has to be our secret because of their parents found out they would go insane.  Cause you know all of our lives would change because then their parents would want me to read them a story at night.  And there’s just not that much of me to go around. Signed Yakety Yak

Dear Yakety Yak – First off, I’m so impressed of your talents.  To read a story like that and the kids not scream.  You are so cool.  Heck, I would love for you to read me a story – anytime.  Heck, skype me okay.  It will be our secret.

.

Friends – Don’t forget to email me your letters and pictures to my email address.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without you! 

 

 
24 Comments

Posted by on 06/14/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Travels in the South

Hello friends – welcome to the next series of Travels in the South.  This series starts with the arrival of Fozziemom and Fozziedad all the way from Australia.  Today we highlight how the mom’s encouraged the dad’s to go to a baby hospital.  Something was mentioned about biological clocks.  I’m not sure what that means.  So the field trip was scheduled and everyone gathered in the Jeep headed to Cleveland, Georgia.  Does that town ring a bell with you?  How about if I show you a picture of the hospital.

Now is that a hospital or what?  The moms were so totally excited upon seeing this place.  Personally I think it was because of all of the mountain streets that the GPS was directing everyone to travel.  And yes, it was so hidden away near the mountains that dad said he thought he heard banjo music playing.  But again I digress.

Welcome my friends to Babyland General Hospital – home of the Cabbage Patch Kids.  Now if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you will know that mom is not a huge fan of those kids.  In fact to refresh your memory, mom got one when she was a young teenager.  She completely hated it.  It might have been because mom was a tomboy.  It might have been because the freak had red hair and reminded her of Chucky.  It could have been just because.  But mom hated the freak of nature.

And upon getting fussed out repeatedly because she didn’t “play with it”, mom did just that one day.  It was a swift game of Indians and Cowboys with the red headed freak being tied to a tree and set on fire.  Don’t worry mom wasn’t hurt and the fire wasn’t huge… just big enough to take care of little Chuckette.

So knowing the story, you would think this would be the very last place mom would want to go for a visit.  But through conversations with Fozziemom, it just *had* to happen.  Strange huh?

When you pull up to the hospital, there are huge ceramic babies in cabbage leaves all along the front and sides of the building.  Some are boys and other girls.  Some have pacifiers while others don’t.  And look at this picture closely – do you see who showed up for the tour?  BASHFUL!  Can you believe that?

Now daddy said that there were more squeals coming from the girls than he had heard in a long time.  It wasn’t bad enough that the place looked huge from the outside but then you have all of these ‘babies’ sitting around the building.  Shaking my piggy head.  By this point, even mom was giving in to the hospital with anticipation and couldn’t wait to get inside of the hospital.

When you first enter, along the walls there are pictures of hundreds of celebrities who have autographed pictures to Xavier Roberts (the founder of Cabbage Patch Kids).  Also as you go further into the waiting room, there is a huge cabbage patch chair.  Oh don’t worry, everyone had to take a turn on the chair to get their pictures taken… you know for documentational purposes to prove they were there – yeah that’s it.

Now some people – snort oink – had a great time in that chair.  And mom and Fozziemom said the cabbage patch chair is way comfortable.

Of course the dad’s were forced to partake in picture time.  What?  You never know when you might be back and you want all of the picture opportunities you can get.

 

The hospital is set up in many sections.  The waiting room, the nursery, the baby room, the toddler room and then the delivery room.

The nursery had babies that were so young in their cribs.  Of course Fozziemom couldn’t help but to gather one up and rock in the rocking chair that was so handy in the nursery.  Look that picture – doesn’t that show ❤ ?  And a cool thing about the nursery and baby rooms – there was crying.  Babies that actually were heard crying!  What an awesome delight that was.

And the baby room for toddlers – OMP!  Mom said they had the toddlers in cribs taking naps, in high chairs, in bouncy chairs, on changing tables and in strollers.  Can you imagine that?  And there wasn’t just a few – there at least 50-75 babies in these couple of rooms.  It was a hoot – and daddy said mom was overwhelmed.

After seeing these rooms, everyone had to go into the main room which also housed the delivery room.  On this day, we were five minutes late or we would have seen the birth of a baby.  Mom just kicks herself for missing that.

All over the main room there were hundreds of babies in different stages in their babyhood.  These babies were sprouting from their cabbage patch leaves.  Some of their heads would move.  In another section, some babies were in their leaves and their bodies would come up and down out of the leaves.  But these babies, they were ready to be born yet. The babies are pollinated by fanciful Bunnybees and taken care of by the licensed patch doctors and nurses.

Did I mention that the staff of the hospital are all dressed in nurse outfits?  Of course they are – why wouldn’t they be, right?  I mean it is a hospital – snorts with piggy laughter.

Dad – bless his heart – thought he was going to pass out when mom told him joyfully, “Honey, I want a baby!”  He made her promise that it wouldn’t end up like the first one she had.  After she promised, he let her loose to find her perfect baby.

So while Fozziemom and Fozziedad searched the hospital for their liking, mom took off to find her baby.  Dad says he thinks that mom held at least 80% of the babies talking to them to see if any of them with bond with her.  Just when she thought she was going to give up – she found her baby – Haley Bree.

And look at Haley Bree – with her pink glasses, pacifier and ballerina outfit that mom just had to buy for her baby – of course completed with tutu.  And yes, that is a baby diaper in the picture as well that mom bought.

So my friends, what has the Travels in the South taught you?  Putting together Fozziemom and mom, there will be trouble.  You can’t even guess how much trouble because we will get more into that next week.  But this day also teaches us that a mom can change her colors.  Once mom saw exactly where Cabbage Patch Kids came from, she *had* to have one.  Now, she has fond memories of their tour this day and all of the oohhing and aaahhing that mom and Fozziemom went through with all of the babies.

Join us next week my friends as we continue with our Travels in the South with Fozziemom and Fozziedad.

 

 

 

 

 
 

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