Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I don’t understand.  I think I need help.  You see.  Every time I smile, my eyes crossed.  I’ve tried holding my face straight.  I’ve tried closing my eyes and opening them at the last minute.  I’ve tried even holding my breath.  Nothing works.  This is the look I get every single time.  What in the world am I doing wrong?  Can you help?  Signed Happy Cross Eyes.

Dear Happy Cross Eyes – You know my friend, sometimes life throws us twists and turns. It’s how we handle these mountains and curves that makes us who we are.  Instead of dwelling on your look, embrace it my friend.  Not everyone can look as happy as you.  I would market that look – just think of your face and smile on coffee cups, calendars, posters – the possibilities are endless – and so is the money.  Make it work my friend. And do me a favor when you hit it big – remember this little oinker that believed in YOU!

---

Dear Bacon – Do you need a kiss?  Cause I’m here for YOU my sexy little piggy.  When my human asked me what I wanted to be this year for Halloween, I knew.  A kiss just for YOU.  You help all of these people in the world and I want to help you.  What do you say?  You wanna dress up with me?  Signed Chocolate Kisses

.

Dear Chocolate Kisses – What can I say?  That’s a proposition that I just can’t turn down.  And why would I, right?  So I tell you what I’m going to do.  I’m going to get mommy to dress me up as a giant peanut butter cup … cause you know chocolate and peanut butter go together, right?  I’ll keep you posted on my outfit okay.  Until then, Happy Halloween..

---

Dear Bacon – There we were hanging out in the house having a great time while the humans were away.  Yaki – he might have drunk too much.  That brother of mine – he can’t hold his milk like he used to do in the old days.  This is how the humans found us.  Of course, they thought exactly what you are thinking, that I was dunking his head in the throne.  Nah, I wouldn’t do that to Yaki.  I was holding his ears back while he was throwing up.  See, I’m the nice guy.  Signed Teri and Yaki

Dear Teri and Yaki – I am shocked and somewhat astonished – perhaps even surprised.  I will admit it.  I did think you were baptizing him in the water.  I was wrong for sure.  That is very nice of you to help your brother out of a bad situation.  I say bravo and well done.  I think you may even get the big brother of the year award..

---

Dear Bacon – Aaww crappers!  There I was sunning myself in the open air minding my own business. I must have fell asleep.  I was so warm and content.  Then when I woke up, I was stuck on a rock and was in a hard place.  The water had went down and I literally was wobbling there.  The only thing I could move were my feet and head.  I wobbled forward.  I wobbled backwards.  Finally, I rocked enough that I fell into the water.  Trust me – you don’t want to do this.  Signed Wobbles

Dear Wobbles – oh my friend.  I’m so glad you were finally able to wobble off that rock.  I can just imagine how you would feel stuck there.  And you are right – this pot belly does not want to be stuck on a rock and hard place.  Take care my friends.

---

Dear Bacon – Why do humans want to dress us anipals up this time of the year?  Can you answer that for me please.  I mean I get it that they want to dress up, go door to door and have parties.  But, why us anipals?  Why do we have to get pulled in to their hysteria?  Let us stay at home alone and do our thing.  Cause what the humans don’t understand it that we will party our own way, am I right?  Signed Ted in Disguise

Dear Ted in Disguise – AMEN!  You said it perfectly.  Yes I agree that the humans don’t understand that we will celebrate this Halloween holiday in our own right.  Let them go out and do their thing – we will do our thing.  Take for instance me.  This little oinker has worked all month long on my 31 Days of Spook.  By Halloween, I’m going to be exhausted and barely moving.  When the humans go out for the night, I’m hitting the big bed, turning on the big television, setting the Select Comfort to around 65 and that’s where you will find me snoozing and snoring.  Is it Halloween yet?  Have fun on your night my friend.  And let me tell you something – I think you are dressed up enough with those glasses.  I love them!

 

 

Happy Birthday Bashful!!

 

 OMP (oh my pig!)  Can you believe that it’s been FOUR years since Bashful came to live with me here at the Hotel Thompson?  This is him all snuggled in transport the first time that I saw him – aaww.  Wasn’t he all cute and innocent in his straw bed? 

And to think of all of the places he  has been in the world?  He’s going to need extra pages in his passport book soon ❤

So, today, let’s all wish our little international rolling stone a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Do you need a kiss?  Cause I’m here for YOU my sexy little piggy.  When my human asked me what I wanted to be this year for Halloween, I knew.  A kiss just for YOU.  You help all of these people in the world and I want to help you.  What do you say?  You wanna dress up with me?  Signed Chocolate Kisses

Dear Chocolate Kisses – What can I say?  That’s a proposition that I just can’t turn down.  And why would I, right?  So I tell you what I’m going to do.  I’m going to get mommy to dress me up as a giant peanut butter cup … cause you know chocolate and peanut butter go together, right?  I’ll keep you posted on my outfit okay.  Until then, Happy Halloween.

♥

---

Dear Bacon – Why do humans want to dress us anipals up this time of the year?  Can you answer that for me please.  I mean I get it that they want to dress up, go door to door and have parties.  But, why us anipals?  Why do we have to get pulled in to their hysteria?  Let us stay at home alone and do our thing.  Cause what the humans don’t understand it that we will party our own way, am I right?  Signed Ted in Disguise

Dear Ted in Disguise – AMEN!  You said it perfectly.  Yes I agree that the humans don’t understand that we will celebrate this Halloween holiday in our own right.  Let them go out and do their thing – we will do our thing.  Take for instance me.  This little oinker has worked all month long on my 31 Days of Spook.  By Halloween, I’m going to be exhausted and barely moving.  When the humans go out for the night, I’m hitting the big bed, turning on the big television, setting the Select Comfort to around 65 and that’s where you will find me snoozing and snoring.  Is it Halloween yet?  Have fun on your night my friend.  And let me tell you something – I think you are dressed up enough with those glasses.  I love them!

---

Dear Bacon – Help!?  My humans they watch Star Wars way too much.  This is how they are dressing me up for Halloween.  Lord help me.  One of my humans will be Darth Vader and the other Luke Skywalker.  Then there’s me in the middle.  The nerve of them to make me go out in this attire!  Signed Princess Leia

Dear Princess Leia – I got a couple of things to say my dear.  First – hubba hubba.  I love that outfit on you – you are gorgeous.  I’m sure the real Princess Leia is full of envy with the way you wear that hair.  Second up – you have to admit that the costumes will be original and that’s awesome.  Just think you will stand out among your peers.  Everyone will want to be you.  And you know for doing this, you will probably get extra treats.  I say wear it with style and look on the bright side you gorgeous babe!

---

Dear Bacon – The humans left the house – check.  Got my bath in – check.  Got my robe on – check.  Got my snacks – check.  Got the remote – check.  There I was preparing to watch my show on television, America’s Top Bitches, then it happened. The humans came back home early.  What the cream cheese?!  What did they expect I was going to do while they were out – lay on the floor and take a nap?  Signed Comfy

Dear Comfy – I’m with you on that one my friend.  If my humans came home during my show, they would just have to pull up, sit down and shut up until the show was done.  I mean we are talking priorities here.

---

Due to Halloween, we are repeating some of our more hilarious letters.  Hope you enjoy my sweet friends ❤

 

Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – Thank goodness for Pokemon GO!  While everyone is out looking for Pokemon, me and my bros are practicing our battle Corgi skills on an empty beach.  Talk about fun in the sun.  No one to watch us work our magic.  Corgi’s will rule one day !  We might even let you in on our team since your’e a cool pig.  Signed Corgi’s Unite!

Dear Corgi’s Unite – Oh my piggy heavens!  Look at ya’ll with your swords and everything.  Dudes, ya’ll have skills.  I just know I could fit in.  I have a powerful snout.  Trust me on that.  I put my head down and snout out and CHARGE!  Keep practicing and keep me posted okay.

 

---

 Dear Bacon – Hey.  You definitely need to join us for a drink the next time you are in our area.  We know this bar where everyone knows your pet and human name.  The tab is endless – they just bill our charges to the human folks when they come in – good deal, huh?  So the next time you are our way, stop in for a bowl of milk or popcorn or a pint… of ice cream that is.  Signed, Coon, Pug and Mutt

Dear Coon, Pug and Mutt – Now you are talking my language.  A anipal friendly bar where they know our names and don’t bill us but our humans.  I am so in on this fun ride.  Save me a pint please cause I’m off to map you on my Waze app.

 

 

---

Dear Bacon – You do realize that by the human dressing me up in this garb, taking my picture and then laughing like a jackass, there will be punishment repaid.  How embarrassing huh?  The human is even talking about me wearing this ridiculous outfit for Halloween in a couple of months.  Please make this stop.  What can I do?  Signed Oscar (and yes that’s my name – rolls kitty eyes)

Dear cough-cough Oscar – Dude, you have to admit the brilliance of your outfit.  I know – I know.  But look at you.  You are rocking the Oscar the Grinch outfit and it is priceless in the second picture.  I think you would definitely be a blast at Halloween in that costume.  But just say for pay back, maybe you can leave a fur ball on your humans favorite chair or on their pillow.  I think that would be plenty sufficient cause trust me.  In the end, you are the STAR!

---

 Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  These Air Jordans are suppose to make you be able to jump and fly and dunk.  I can’t do any of these things still.  I say this is false advertisement.  I should sue that human.  What do you think?  Signed Skippy

Dear Skippy – Snorts my friend.  First off, I think in order to “jump and fly” you would actually need some on your back feet as well.  And then running with a little thrust, you might just be able to fly.  And hey, it might help if you lace them up.  I’m just saying.  You don’t want to be mid-air and lose your shoe.  But until then, maybe you should watch this movie called, “White Men Can’t Jump”.  You know just for research purposes.  You might be able to make some money on the side if you take careful notes.  Let me know okay and I can be your manager one day.

---

 Dear Bacon – I win again this year!  This is me in my championship picture of hide and go seek.  Awesome huh?  Every year in my county, they have a contest with anipals hiding in their environment.  I won again!  That’s two years back to back.  So, you got any wonderful hide and seek pictures?  Signed Winner

Dear Winner – OMP – I had to take a double look there to find you my friend.  You do blend – very well!  I say conpigulations on your win.  And it’s never too early to start working on next year’s winning picture.  I just know you can make it three years in a roll!  You go!

 

 

 

---

REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.

 

 

Happy Birthday Bashful!!

 

 OMP (oh my pig!)  Can you believe that it’s been an entire year since Bashful came to live with me?  This is him all snuggled in transport the first time that I saw him – aaww.  Wasn’t he all cute and innocent in his straw bed? 

And to think, fast forward a year and think of all of the wonderful places he has traveled.  France to see Easy, Australia to see Fozzie, Virginia to see Stuart, United Kingdom to see Misaki and where is he now?  I’m not telling but you are going to be surprised where he turns up next.  That is definitely for sure!

.

So, today, let’s all wish our little international rolling stone a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
You’ve caught us.  This is what we do when the humans aren’t looking.  ssshh – kind of keep it to yourself okay.  You’re welcomed to join us anytime – just bring your lightsaber.  Signed Squirrel Wars

Dear Squirrel Wars,

Hey – I’m in!  This looks like fun.  Party in the back of the Hotel Thompson this weekend.  I’ll call Journalist Rocky the Squirrel to get the invites out.  Thanks my friends!

.

Dear Bacon,
Part of fitting in is the disguise.  I’ve been hanging out on the pier now for two whole days and no one has noticed me.  I think it’s the hat – maybe the fishing rod.  So I now know the answer to life’s greatest problem – blend in with the humans.  What do you think?  You want me to get you a rod and hat to come out with me?  Signed BirdGilligan

Dear BirdGilligan,

WOW!  I’m glad you told me who you were, I would have never guessed it!  You do blend in so well.  I’m wondering if I wore that outfit would humans ever think it was me?  How about I try to meet you soon and we can test that theory?  But first of all, I have to ask.  Can you lift 45 pounds?  Because if the humans catch on, you gotta get me out of there before they start looking at you as a two piece and me as bar-be-que.  Shivers.

.

Dear Bacon,
I’m in the police academy trying out for a police officer.  I think I have the gun stance down.  You think?  Why don’t you come join me?  I’ve heard it runs in your family and perhaps someone in the family can put in a good word for us?  Signed Stop or I’ll Shoot

Dear Stop or I’ll Shoot,

That is a good stance.  I’m impressed.  I don’t think that I’m ‘police officer’ material in that way though.  My hooves – well they just get in the way when I try to hold some heat.  I’m more of a Pig9… you know something like a K9 but with me, an oinker.  With this snout, I think I can be trained to smell out all of the bad things out there.  But hey, what if we were partners?  You the bad cop and me the good cop – raises eyebrows.  That would work partner!

.

Dear Bacon,
HELP!  There’s something on my noise and I can’t see it.  It tickles.  Hurry, what is it?  Is it dangerous?!  Signed Crossed Eyes

Dear Crossed Eyes,

Snort giggles.  Never fear my purr friend.  It’s just a lady bug.  They are good luck.  I think she likes you.  Maybe be nice to her and make a new friend.  There’s nothing to harm you little guy.

.

Dear Bacon,

I think me and my friend are twins!  We both have some of the same characteristics – you know like being devious and mischievous – purr laugh.  I think it’s the constant smile that pulls the humans into our lives.  There’s only one small, tiny, little difference.  My friend can reshape his body to frighten peeps.  I can almost do that… not the way he does but I’m learning.  Signed Cheshire in Training

Dear Cheshire in Training,

WOW – I almost couldn’t tell the difference between you two.  That smile – it’s almost identical my friend.  Perhaps you can play his stunt double in real life?  That’s always an idea.  Just think of the fame and fortune you would have.  Carry on my friend and keep smiling.

 

Remember friends – keep sending you pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com