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Dear Dezi – Special Edition

September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by my sweet dear purr thing Dezi.  If you don’t know Dezi, you *must* go visit her and check her out.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

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Dear Dezi,
My humans forgot to bring me in for the night. Help! I don’t think they hear me or see me hanging on out here. What can I do? Has this ever happened to you? Signed Knock Knock

Dear Knock Knock,
Oh meez sweet furiend yous need new hoomans!!! But ifin yous gunna stay maybe yous oughtta we-fink goin’ outside or get yous hoomans to put in a cat flap. But fur now at least when yous do get inside again, leave them sum luvly hairball designs on their pillows and in their underwear drawer. Bet they don’t soon fur get that. Me made this hairball once that….oh yeah not da purrawlem. Anyways, don’t furget to steal da T.V. remote and giv it to da neighborhood dog.

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Dear Dezi,
I think I’m in trouble here. I got invited to the party. I just didn’t realize I was going to be the main attraction to the party. What am I suppose to do now. Little help here please. Signed Walking Dinner

Dear Walking Dinner,
Yous need to stawt investigatin’ yous dinner invitations and make suwe yous not da main course. After all, yous don’t have to accept evewy invite. Yous know this weminds me of da time….oh yeah, it’s not about me. As fur yous situation, it’s too late now, so just point them in da direction of da neawest golden arches and then stawt flappin’ those wings like nevew afur. Yous life just might depend on it.

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Dear Dezi,
Does the outfit make me look tough? My dad says I have the eye of the tiger but yet my mom says I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. What do you think? Signed Upper Cut

Dear Upper Cut,
Yous do look tuff. Me wuld suwe want yous in meez corner.  Let me tell yous ‘bout….Aw nevew mind, yous worried ‘bout floatin’ like a butterfly and stingin’ like a bee. You know it’s not always looks dat count. There wuz a famous dude once dat floated like butterflies too. Hims wusn’t much to look at, but hims wuz like da heavy weight champ boxer of all time. So it looks like yous followin’ in da wight footsteps. Keep yous chin up and growl a bit, me finks hims did.

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Dear Dezi,
I’m ready for the beach. My flippers are on and I’m ready for some adventure. My favorite shows to watch on the nature channel show seahorses. Do you think I can blend in with them? Signed C.Horse

Dear C.Horse,
Yep yous got yous flippers on alwight. Let’s see…will yous fit in? Well these days yous wuld fit wight in most evewywhere so me dusn’t see why not. Yous might wanna check into an air tank tho’ meez not suwe yous lungs can take all at water. Yous know don’t ya’ dat male sea horses hav da babies? Is dat da kinda adventure yous lookin’ fur? Me dusn’t fink it works dat way ifin so. Yous might get luckier and find mowe adventure in da nearby pasture.

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Dear Dezi,
I don’t get it. Why are my humans laughing at me and taking pictures? Do you get it? If so, please explain to me. Please. Signed Jagger

Dear Jagger,
My what big teef yous hav.  And they be so white. Yous hoomans shuld be fankin’ their lucky staws yous not need dental work. But hoomans do hav a stwange sense of humor and always wiff da flashy box too.  Meez  mommy is always… ah hoo cawes. I fink yous vewy fotogenic and maybe sumday yous will be as pawpular as Lassie or Rin Tin Tin. Hoo ya’ fink’ll be laffin’ then. Yous dude while yous head on down to da local piercin’ shop and buy yous self a 24 kt. gold gwill.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 
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Posted by on 09/16/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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