Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon – Me and my friend Hazel were just out running around the hood minding our own business.  We crossed the street.  There I said it!  We crossed the street!  Humans went all weird on us and started snapping pictures.  I don’t get it.  What’s the big deal?  Signed Two Chicks

Dear Two Chicks – I don’t get it either my friend.  Shakes piggy head.  I look forward to that day where the motives are not questioned of two chicks out for a good time crossing the road and humans not going all wild laughing and pointing.  I do feel for you.  Just chill and carry on is what I say my friends…. oh and stay out of traffic might be more advice 🙂

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Dear Bacon,  I don’t get it.  I honestly don’t get it.  You see I work in a conservatory park.  Humans come by on boat rides to see us gators out in the wild.  There was this one guy that was leaning a little too far over the boat and his sunglasses fell off his head.  I was just trying to do the right thing.  I got them and was swimming closer to the boat for him to get them.  Do you know he wouldn’t reach out and get them?  What a thank you huh?  Signed The Manners of a Gator

Dear The Manners of a Gator – How ungrateful. You mean to tell me the human would not reach over the boat, into the river, onto your head and get his glasses?  What was he thinking?  Oh doh!  Maybe – and this is just a stretch here – maybe he thought you might be like one of those other gators.  You know the ones who like to bite the hand that touches them.  I’m just guessing that.  Maybe you can leave the sunglasses on the bank of the river for him to retrieve after the trip.  I’m sure he will appreciate that. Awesome job my friend!

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Dear Bacon – HA!  You see I’m there in the front – the white pooch.  We were all standing around at my buddies house telling jokes.  Who would have thought the guys would take one of my jokes so personal.  You know how us guys can be with the boys.  Someone happened to say that I wasn’t the great lover like they were.  When I told them that their mother didn’t think the same thing, they all got personal and started chasing me.  Who would have thought huh?  Signed Who Let the Dogs Out

Dear  Who Let the Dogs Out – Shakes piggy head.  Boys will be boys talking smack and getting into trouble.  You know what I say my friend?  If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.  Some people just have no room for jokes and having fun.  Keep running out first though – 🙂

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Dear Bacon – You should have been here pal!  We all planned our weekly play date at the beach with our humans.  While they talked and drunk their Starbucks coffee, we sat on the sand.  We held hands, sung kumbaya and talked about our humans.  It was great fun.  We would have loved if you could have joined us!  Signed The Great Foursome

Dear The Great Foursome – oh WOW!  That looks like so much fun my friends.  The next time I’m out your way, count me in!

 

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without YOUR pictures and letters.  Remember to email them to me for my weekly Tuesday Dear Bacon issues.  Snorts and thanks!

 

Lake Placid Marathon – Spoilers

Oh this was a GREAT weekend.  Mom and dad decided to have a Lake Placid movie marathon Saturday night.  We didn’t go to bed until we saw all FOUR movies.  Shivers – we got the popcorn and soda out. – it was great.  They even let me stay up with them and watch them all.  Have you seen these movies?  They have a little bit of horror mixed with some good lines of comedy.  They are a MUST see.  Here’s a breakdown:

 Movie #01 –

This is the beginning of the four movies that came out in 1999.  It all starts in Lincoln County, Maine at Black Lake.  What a nice pleasant sounding name huh?  This movie stars Bill Pullman as Jack Wells, Bridget Fonda as Kelly Scott and Betty White as Delores Bickerman.  Strange things are happening on the lake.  Jack and Kelly start to investigate and they witness Delores blind folding a cow and feeding the cow to an enormous crocodile.  After they confront Delores, she admits that the crocodile followed her husband home one day and they fed it.  Years later, the crocodile ‘accidentally’ ate her husband.  But instead of being upset, Delores kept feeding it treating it like it was one of her kids.   And might I add, Delores has some of the best lines in this movie.

Towards the end of the movie, there was actually two crocodiles in the lake.  One does die and in the last seen you see one surviving adult tied to the back of a flat bed truck speeding down the road towards Portland, Maine.

But don’t worry, in the last scenes you also see Delores feeding bread crumbs to several baby crocodiles leading us to believe that the two that were original had mated.  YES!  So this brings us to Movie #02.

Movie #02

Lake Place 2 came out in 2007.  This movie starred John Schneider as Sheriff Riley and Sarah LaFleur as Emma Warner and Cloris Leachman as Sadie Bickerman (who is Delores’ sister from movie #01).  It picks up from the first one.  Delores has passed away and her sister Sadie is now living in the cabin near the water.  A researcher has disappeared on the lake and the sheriff and Emma (from Wildlife and Game) are investigating.  They get attacked early on by a 20 foot crocodile and here we go all over again.

But this time, there’s a twist.  You see Sadie has been feeding the crocodiles now.  Not just anything but with hormone enhanced meat and this is why they are so large.  And the crocs have mated and everyone finds a large nest of giant eggs.  Oh hog heavens – this one will keep you on the edge of your seat – trust me!

Movie #03

Lake Placid 3 came out in 2010.  It still takes place on Black Lake in Maine.  At this time Sadie Bickerman has passed away.  Her son, Nathan, (played by Colin Ferguson) along with his wife Susan and their little boy Connor are at the cabin packing things up for sale.  Conner starts chasing a lizard towards the lake where he sees baby crocodiles.  Conner keeps the babies a secret and refers to them as ‘his pets’.  He starts feeding them and they start growing really fast.

This movie also brings Reba (played by Yancy Butler) to the screen.  I have to say that Reba really makes the movie.  She is a poacher that doesn’t really follow the rules of the law.  AND she has a mouth on her – let me tell you she can feel UP the swear jar here at the Hotel Thompson during this movie – snorts.

All I can say is towards the end of the movie, don’t move.  Wait for it and you’ll see what I mean.  Then this brings us to Movie #04.

Movie #04

Lake Placid: The Final Chapter came out in 2012.  This brings back our friend Reba who was a poacher in Movie #03 but now is working as an EPA Agent.  Not because she had a change of heart but rather it’s part of her judgement from being a poacher in movie #03 – snorts.  The people in the town thought it would be a wonderful thing to build an electric fence around Black Lake and turn the lake into a crocodile sanctuary.  Sounds all nice huh?  NOT!

One night the fence gets left open and you know a field trip of kids are on the way to the other lake.  But the driver is checking out his cell phone instead of watching the road and goes through the gate to Black Lake.  So here we go – the kids are at the wrong lake and you know the crocodiles are going to come out and play – and they do!

Don’t let “The Final Chapter” fool you.  Stay to the end again.  I guess they can make a Lake Placid – Really The Final Chapter if they want to.  Snorts – hope you check these movies out.  They are really good.  And I have to admit – me and mommy jumped maybe a half of a dozen times while watching these Saturday night.  These are probably what you call b-rated movies that have played on the SyFy channel numerous times.  It doesn’t matter – they were great to watch.

 

We *Finally* Decorated

So I told you that mom/dad were tossing around ideas about how to decorate for the holidays this year. They didn’t want to put up a tree because of the fiasco last year. I know – I know. The tree got tired! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it – snorts.

So you all know what a crazy person how my mom loves Mickey Mouse. Well, they found a Mickey Mouse lamp post – isn’t it adorable?! And it’s very sturdy… you know in case it gets tired. They said Santa will come down the chimney and put presents around the base of the pole. Isn’t that excited and neat? I was wondering how he was going to find us without a tree. But this is like super best, right?

So the house is decorated. Cookies will be made and put out for the jolly ole guy. I guess it’s time to make out my Christmas list. I’ve put a lot of thought into this. Here I go:

Bacon’s Christmas List 2013

• I wish all of my friends here in blogville a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year. May all of their wishes come true. May all of their aches and pains go away. May they have all of the items they wish and want.
• I wish for my dads vision to be touched so that he can see mom’s blue eyes once again.
• I wish for mom’s mean old Rheumatoid Arthritis to go somewhere else and live for a change so that mom’s snap, crackle and pop subsides.
• I wish for the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson to get extra kibbles and treats.
• And Santa if there is anything left in your bag of tricks after these other requests are granted, I wish for my stocking to be filled with wonderful fruits and veggies. And one more thing. I know this is asking for a lot but I heard daddy singing about wanting this in the shower and now I kind of want one too. And you just need to bring one. I promise to share. Please. I really want a hippopotamus for Christmas.

God bless you Santa! And thank you for all of my friends and family!

 

Allilgators and Crocodiles Oh My!

 

Alligators and crocodiles just amaze me.  They are such amazing creatures and are so mysterious.  I had a lot of time on my hands last week when mom was sick so I got to surf the net after putting Bashful to bed. 

This picture to the left blew my mind!  Alligators made out of those old recycled tires.  I couldn’t believe when I first looked at the picture.  What a brilliant idea.  Someone had such an amazing thought that they actually brought to life – they look so real!

Could you imagine a couple of these bad boys in your yard just hanging out?  Of course, they might scare me a couple of times.  What am I talking about?  If they were in the yard, this little pigs feet would *never* touch nature!

 

 

Then I found this picture from Australia.  There’s a place called Crocosaurus Cove Park in Darwin that allows thrill seekers to swim face to face with massive salt water crocodiles.  WTP (What the Pig) – let me go use my potty pouch real quick.

Do you see the size of that crocodile compared to that little itty bitty man?  This picture actually made me shake and shiver in fear.  That crocodile could eat me as a snack – heck that little itty bitty man would be a starter meal. 

Shivers – I think I’ll pass swimming in Australia!  You?

 

Dear Bacon –

Dear Bacon,

Humans *think* they can get us.  I’ve got a few tricks up my fur.  I’ve created the Slam-o-helmet.  It protects my little noggin so I don’t get hurt.  Cause you know, I gotta have my cheese.  Clever, huh? Signed Smarty Mouse

Dear Smarty Mouse,

That is very clever!  I am very proud of you little fellow.  Still, be careful because you know what happens with only ONE wrong move. 

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Dear Bacon,

You’re not the only animal with his own room.  I have my own room too.  In fact, I have a big boy bed and not just some toddler bed.  What do you think?  Signed Billy – King of the Pillow

Dear Billy – King of the Pillow,

I am impressed my goat friend.  Those colors are very becoming with the color of your fur.  See, we are totally blessed to have our own space inside of the house.  I’m not hatin – I think it’s fantastic my friend!

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Dear Bacon,

We were walking down the street and we saw each other.  You know we had to show a little man love.  What?  You never seen two crocs hugging?  It’s the happening thing right now.  Signed Dos Crocs

Dear Dos Crocs,

I think it’s great.  I’ve seen women walking down the street clutching croc purses but never two crocs hugging.  I’m sure it freaked a few people out but hey maybe they just needed a hug or two as well.  Love the friendship!

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Dear Bacon,

You know being a purr thing is hard.  We run around the house, we protect the humans from crawley things, we get into everything imaginable and look out the window all day.  It’s a hard life.  By the end of the day, there’s nothing much else to do but pass out on a comfortable spot.  But that’s okay, we trust our humans so we can stretch out without fear.  Signed – Sleeping Kitties

Dear Sleeping Kitties,

I understand perfectly about taking care of your kingdom.  I do the same.  And I agree.  It’s hard work.  I also have a tendency to stretch and pass out on the couch with mom after a long strenous day.  I trust her as well when I go belly up and snore.  You look really comfortable my friends.  Continue on!

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Dear Bacon,

My name is Tiny and I’m in charge.  I have a partner in crime named Sasquatch.  Together, we can not lose.  We run around the neighborhood… okay Sasquatch runs and I ride.  We are invincible.  He is my friend and my protector.  We have a wonderful friendship.  Don’t you agree?  Signed Tiny and Sasquatch

Dear Tiny and Sasquatch,

Hey, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.  I think ya’ll look cute together.  Ride on and have fun!!  Life is too short.