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Dear Bacon

20131208-213049.jpgDear Bacon, Do you recognize this look my friend?  You know the doorbell rings but you are running around in your birthday suit.  You answer it from the corner wondering, “Who would come over without calling first” kind of look in your face.  You are secretly wishing it’s a girls scout selling cookies but oh no – it’s only someone selling something.  You give them this eat crap and die look before shutting the door.  No offense solicitors but unless you have thin mints, go to the neighbors house.  Signed Don’t Bother

Dear Don’t Bother,  YES I recognize that look.  Once all of the humans have settled into the Hotel Thompson, it’s a no bother zone unless you phone first – especially after dark. Shivers – I’ve seen too many shows on the Investigative Discovery channel.  No way am I opening the door.  And you are right… unless they have thin mints.  They could be someone from a horror show but if they are selling thin mints, I’m grabbing the boxes


20131208-213126.jpgDear Bacon,  You know sometimes I really hate my siblings.  They tell me that I chase butterflies too often grinning like the Cheshire cat and singing Disney songs. What’s it to them?  Who’s a happy gator – this guy!  Can’t we all just be happy and get along?  Signed Chomp

Dear Chomp,  I’m with you my bud.  I’m singing Hakuna Matata right now in my head.  It’s such a happy song all about no worries for the rest of your lives.  If you don’t know it, I highly recommend you looking it up and playing it.  It’s great and perky – just a song for chasing butterflies.  Be yourself and don’t let your siblings bully you into something you’re not!


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 Dear Bacon, I’ve called this meeting here today to talk to you about your little brother Houdini.  You know us dogs have skills.  We can be your allies or we can be your enemies.  You don’t want us to be your enemies.  I’m just saying.  This face may look all cute and everything but my inner dog is 500 pounds just like Houdini’s.  You might want to rethink your relationship with the little guy.  We can come in handy for a lot of things.  Signed Fluffy

Dear Fluffy,  Oh my friend, there is no doubt about the skills of you pooches.  Houdini is my little buddy.  Sometimes I even let him sleep with me in my bed at night.  He’s a great guy and helps me out with the purr things here all of the time.  Especially that Hemi who uses my butt like a slapping post.  No worries – I know ya’ll rule!


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 Dear Bacon, Score for the little dog!  I’ve been watching the humans and where they get my food.  Oh barks!  One day when they weren’t looking, I was able to get into the bag of heaven and SCORE!  Oh dude – I was in puppy heaven for a while until the master caught me.  But by that time, I had eaten half of the bag.  I was so fat I couldn’t walk.  I was rolling around with a silly happy grin on my face.  You ever done this before?  Signed Rolly Polly

 Dear Rolly Polly,  Snorts!  I ❤ this my friend.  I’ve never gotten into the bag before.  But once when I was Nana’s, I ate so much that I couldn’t even squeak I was so pudgy.  I was uncomfortable for a while but like you – it was so worth it!


 

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Dear Bacon,  I hate it when the humans make me dress up.  We had to go to a wedding this past weekend and they insisted on me wearing a tux.  Really?  I’m a dog.  Rolls doggy eyes.  Tell me they don’t make you dress in this ridiculous outfit.  Signed Mister Doggy in the Wedding

Dear Mister Doggy in the Wedding – I have to admit pal that you make that tux look good.  Really you do.  Sometimes we have to do things that we really don’t want to do but need to do.  That was probably one of those situations.  I don’t particular have to dress up… yet.  But can you believe Houdini here has a tux. 🙂  It happens to the best of us.  Wear it with pride!


Remember my friends – we can’t have Dear Bacon without your letters and pictures.  Please keep sending them to me – snorts and thanks!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on 04/07/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Rocky the Squirrel told us to write to you. We are members of the band Squirrel. We play a lot around the Oaks and Pines areas of the neighborhood. You’ve probably heard us jamming to some classics like, “Shake Your Bushy Tail”; “I Love Nuts and Seeds”; and our biggest hit “That Dog is Mine”. Rocky says you’re the man to get some publicity. How about it oinker? Signed Band Squirrel

Dear Band Squirrel,

WOW – that Rocky gets around, doesn’t he? I guess that makes sense with him being a journalist and everything. Love your songs – keep up the great work and keep shaking those tails my friends!

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Dear Bacon,

What? Why do you look at me like that? Doesn’t your purr things wear glasses and read the newspaper while lounging on the sofa? They don’t? I’m shocked. I’m going to have to email those purr things of yours and get them educated. Signed Kitty Professor

Dear Kitty Professor

That is really the look. It just threw me off guard seeing you all like that as if you were well human. I’m more shocked than anything. My purr things don’t do that. I’m going to have to show them your picture of how an educated kitty acts around the house. Maybe the Mouse Girl will learn something new for a change. I can only hope! P.S. I have to ask. When you get done with that paper, do your throw it down on the floor and ‘use’ it? Snort – snicker.

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Dear Bacon,

You are not the only one that loves to have his belly rubbed.  I do as well.  For some reason though, no one will do it?  What do you say little man, you want to be food rub my belly? Signed Croc

Dear Croc,

UUUMMM – I think I’ll pass.  I wouldn’t want to become food friendly in that way with someone I don’t know.  Momma said it wouldn’t be right.  But, thanks for drooling thinking of me.

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Dear Bacon,

You see tourists all of the time doing their thing shopping, people watching and sitting out in the sun.  What makes us any different?  This is a picture of me on vacation last week.  It was the life!  Signed Big Man

Dear Big Man,

There is nothing like human watching while sunning oneself in nature, especially on vacation my friend.  Mom and dad said they may take me on vacation one day.  I think I may resemble your picture in the future!

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20130130-123759.jpgDear Bacon,

This is me and my friend Dewey.  Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye.  You ever feel that way with the purr things?  Signed Hector

Dear Hector,

Snort – pig laughter.  Yeah me and the purr things don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things at the Hotel Thompson.  Of course, we don’t physically get in that situation but I can relate.  Just give in to little Dewey.  I think he may own you!  He been talking to Journalist Rocky the Squirrel?  Snort – LOL

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 02/05/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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