What can I say? Sometimes this sweet Bacon has an alternative side that comes out that mom refers to as deviled ham. I know – those days are tough. Last night, we went to a local carnival. Mom called before hand to ask if I could go. They were all for it. Me, mom and dad went and was having a really good time. I’ve never been petted so much in my entire life! Things got a little carried away though towards the end and deviled ham came out. Shuffles hooves and puts head down – it happened and I can’t take it back. So you know when we got back to the Hotel Thompson, I had to serve time for the crime. Here’s a text between me and mom. My texts are in blue and moms are in gray. Enjoy my friends.
Every once in a while, I get a story that I just *have* to pass along. This is one of those times. It is way too funny for sure. Many of you know that my cousin Sherlock Bones lives in Chicago, Illinois. Sherlock Bones is 5 – like me – and he’s a Basset Hound. Awesome cousin for sure!
Mom is sitting on the couch last night watching television and she gets a text from her sister, my Aunt Tina. Mom reads it and then starts laughing. So of course you know all of us anipals have to go up to mom and ask her what’s so funny.
Aunt Tina bought a pizza for the family last night, put it way back on the kitchen counter and went for a quick run through the neighborhood. My cousin Maverick had went to the bathroom to wash up and was going to eat when he was finished. In the meantime, guess who smelled the pizza? If you said Sherlock Bones, we have a winner!
Somehow Sherlock learned how to reach further back on the kitchen counter and helped himself to some dinner.
❤
In just a short time span, Sherlock Bones ate 8 boneless wings and three slices of pizza.
He then proceeded to stash three more slices of pizza in the sofa. You know so he could have a midnight snack. The dog has skills.
I’m thinking that one day when I grow up I can try to be like him… looks down at my miniature pot-belly and short legs, okay maybe not.
After his dinner, he stretched out on the sofa belly up full from his adventure.
Texts went back/forth between mom and Aunt Tina – all full of sarcasm and fun. Then Aunt Tina sent the final picture of Sherlock Holmes laying on the sofa all sad. Why was he sad? Because he spent a solid ten minutes looking for his ‘stashed’ pizza in the sofa and couldn’t find them. He could smell them but they were gone. Aunt Tina had found them and removed them from the sofa.
Oh friends – today is Fozzie’s birthday. Please remember her today and bounce over to her blog to wish her a happy birthday!
Fozzie is my cohort. – my partner in crime if you will. Fozzie is my friend when I’m having a great day or bad day. She ❤ me when I’m sweet Bacon or deviled Ham.
Fozzie is special to us here at the Hotel Thompson. We may be on the other sides of the world – but when we talk it feels like we are side by side. I can’t say enough great things about Fozzie. She’s that special kind of woman who can bring a smile to your face even though she may be suffering in pain. She’s that kind of friend that you don’t talk to for days and all of a sudden when you do speak, it’s like it was yesterday.
So from all of us here at the Hotel Thompson, we wish you a very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May all your dreams come true my sweet dear friend!
Well my friends, it was great knowing you. Tomorrow I leave for my great Piggy Summer Camp. Yay. Joy. Stop me now from the fun. Really, seven entire days away from mom, dad, Houdini, Mouse Girl and Hemi. Seven days away from the Hotel Thompson. Away from my private bedroom. My television. My toddler bed. My turn down service. My room service. Seven days of living like ‘other pigs’. Rolls eyes – whatever that means.
You know my relationship with Hemi the butt slapper here at the Hotel Thompson. I would rather be slapped in the captain’s quarters by his gginormous paw several times in a row then to have to leave tomorrow. But it’s definite. I’m going. Mom has paid for my summer camp. She has packed my bags.
I even tried to talk some sense into daddy but he didn’t cave either. He said whatever mommy decided, he was good with. Come on dad, grow some and tell me I can stay at home. Snorts.
So my friends if you don’t ever hear from me again – if something should happen to me in the woods – know that I ❤ you all. You have become my friends. My cohorts. My partners in crime. I love you each and every one!
Beware my friends. We have been watching the ID (Investigative Discovery) channel all weekend. I’ve picked up a few things from the shows.
1 – There is never a perfect murder.
2 – Never leave DNA, spit, hair follicles, blood or other known sources of bodily fluids at a crime scene.
3 – Never go back to the crime scene.
4 – Pick one story and stick to it. The least you make up the more you will remember and not get tripped up when and if you get interviewed.
5 – Never fall for the bad cop good cop routine.
6 – Never fall for it when the cops say they have proof or someone saw you. Tsk-Tsk Who says cops have to tell you the truth when you are being interviewed.
7 – Knowing all of this, don’t commit any murders or crimes. I don’t know about you but this pot belly doesn’t look good behind bars dressed in orange sharing a space with Bubba – snorts!
8 – If all else fails, blame daddy – double evil snorts!
Dear Bacon – This is the pits. No I mean it really. It’s not bad enough that my humans put these ridiculous pajamas on me. Now I have to wear the cone of shame. AND they sat me in a make shift bed which is really an old potty box with a blanket. Really? This is how they treat me. Can you give me a word of encouragement my piggy friend? Signed Cat in the Hat
Dear Cat in the Hat – You know my friend. You are looking at this all wrong. Look at it from the positive prospective. They put pajamas on you – I’m guessing – so that you wouldn’t scratch whatever you had done surgically, right? Then they put the pitiful projector on your head so you couldn’t lick or bite that particular surgical spot, right? AND then they put you in a comfortable spot with a blankie so you would be comfy. See, look at it from this prospective. Do you know what all of that adds up to this little piggy? To me it says your humans care for you way more than you think and want you to be comfortable during this duration. Instead of looking at it from your point of view, take it from my point of view. And let me add, suck it up for all it’s worth – humans love that when they think they’ve done something to you 🙂
Dear Bacon – Can you believe my humans have the audacity to blame ‘me’ – innocent cute little ‘me’ – as stealing one of their valuable orange crunchy things they snack on while watching television? Me. There is no way they can pin this crime on me. There is no proof! Signed Cheeto
Dear Cheeto – Do me a favor my friend. Go to your nearest mirror and look at yourself. Go ahead. I’l wait. Whistles while waiting and taps hooves. Oh good you are back. Did you see that incriminating evidence on your cute little face? The orange stuff my friend. That would be evidence of eating your humans prized Cheetos. By your name, I’m thinking this is not your first run in with the law on being busted for this crime. Might I make a suggestion for future escapades? Once you have partaken of the evil Cheeto, go drink some water out of your bowl with delight. I mean slush that water around on your cute little face to wash the orange stuff off. No proof means it didn’t happen my friend. Happy eating.
Dear Bacon – I was cold. It was freezing in this house. My humans like to hang me as they so delightfully like to say. Don’t worry about us little pooches. I had to resort to the last step and wrap myself like a hot dog. It does the trick especially with the sun coming in from the window. Have you ever been this cold? Signed Cold Dog
Dear Cold Dog – WOW. I say if you’re cold, go for it my friend. I’m one of the very few here with us anipals that love it cold. I’m with my mom and like you said, we like to hang meet here at the Hotel Thompson. The colder the better. Heck, if we could skip over summer we would so do so. Stay warm my friend!
Dear Bacon – Here is my brother. He is so weird. I was looking down at the dog just minding my own business. That’s when Patches (my bro) jumped up and pulled my head up. What was so important that he wanted me to see you ask? The humans were cooking breakfast. Something smelled so delightful. They call it bacon. I’m just wondering. Do you know what this glorious smell is? Signed Matches
Dear Matches – I know exactly what that awful stuff called bacon is. It’s horrible. Such a bad thing to ever try. Some humans get addicted to it. See, that’s how bad it is for you cats. Once hooked, they can’t go back. And I for one can guarantee you that you don’t want to get hooked on that bad drug. Yeah, it’s a bad drug. Better steer far away from it my friends. I wouldn’t want it to stunt your growth or anything. Snorts!
Dear Bacon – Don’t you jussst love my new ssssweater? I got it for my birthdaysss. I just love to sssslither around the house wearing itsss. I think it makesss me ssslim and bringsss out the color of my eyessss. What do you thinksss? Signed Sexy and I Know It
Dear Sexy and I Know It – As long as YOU think you are sexy and you know it, does it really matter what anyone else thinks? You rock that sweater around your house all you want. Perhaps maybe next time your humans can get you a longer one? Keep slithering there where you are my friend.
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.
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FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂
This is me in time out. Sighs. Mom says I have to pay the time for the crime. I don’t get it. I was just helping her out. You have to believe me on that. AND if you take my side after I tell you the story, then please write me a note to get me out of piggy jail in the comments. Will you do that my friends?
So this is what happened. We were all in the living room watching the ID channel. For those that don’t know what the ID channel is – ID stands for Investigative Discovery. They have ALL kinds of forensic shows of real crimes that take place from all over the world and how forensics solved them. On the show that we were watching, the victim was in a vegetative state and had a living will to be taken off of all life saving equipment if such a thing happened to her.
My mom was over on her chaise working on my laptop that was plugged into the wall. She had been pounding that keyboard for hours now. She was also drinking a glass of wine and had sat the glass on the floor. She told all of us – Mouse Girl, Hemi, Houdini and daddy, that if she was ever in a vegetative state, she didn’t want to be dependent on a machine or fluids from a bottle. She told us that if that happened, to pull the plug. She said that my friends.
I was just doing what she asked. I got up, unplugged her laptop and knocked over her glass of wine. I don’t think she thought I was helping her from her current vegetative state. Snorts. What say you?
Oh friends – today is Fozzie’s birthday. Please remember her today and bounce over to her blog to wish her a happy birthday!
Fozzie is my cohort. – my partner in crime if you will. Fozzie is my friend when I’m having a great day or bad day. She ❤ me when I’m sweet Bacon or deviled Ham.
Fozzie is special to us here at the Hotel Thompson. We may be on the other sides of the world – but when we talk it feels like we are side by side. I can’t say enough great things about Fozzie. She’s that special kind of woman who can bring a smile to your face even though she may be suffering in pain. She’s that kind of friend that you don’t talk to for days and all of a sudden when you do speak, it’s like it was yesterday.
.
So from all of us here at the Hotel Thompson, we wish you a very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May all your dreams come true my sweet dear friend!
Just imagine you are on a date with your spouse and then your cell phone goes off with a text message. You know by the sound of the ring that it’s from one of your kids. You go to look at it and WOW – it’s a text from ME – Bacon. Who could stay mad at this little oinker for long? Especially when I’m giving you a heads up about free coffee! Mommy is a sucker for coffee.
After mom and dad’s date they did go to Dunkin Donuts. Mommy didn’t get the free coffee. She got the pumpkin white chocolate latte. She said it was delicious. I wouldn’t know because she didn’t give me a taste of it… BUT, she did bring me some donut holes. 🙂
So, that is how you get back on mommy’s good list. She drunk her coffee while I was in her lap getting snuggles. Everything is back to being good at the Hotel Thompson.
Oh, and what? Doesn’t every pig have an iPhone? It’s only the 3G that mom used to have but it still works for these emergency type situations – snorts.
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
ina bought a pizza for the family last night, put it way back on the kitchen counter and went for a quick run through the neighborhood. My cousin Maverick had went to the bathroom to wash up and was going to eat when he was finished. In the meantime, guess who smelled the pizza? If you said Sherlock Bones, we have a winner!
ie’s 
ginormous paw several times in a row then to have to leave tomorrow. But it’s definite. I’m going. Mom has paid for my summer camp. She has packed my bags.
1 – There is never a perfect murder.
Dear Bacon – Can you believe my humans have the audacity to blame ‘me’ – innocent cute little ‘me’ – as stealing one of their valuable orange crunchy things they snack on while watching television? Me. There is no way they can pin this crime on me. There is no proof! Signed Cheeto
Dear Bacon – Here is my brother. He is so weird. I was looking down at the dog just minding my own business. That’s when Patches (my bro) jumped up and pulled my head up. What was so important that he wanted me to see you ask? The humans were cooking breakfast. Something smelled so delightful. They call it bacon. I’m just wondering. Do you know what this glorious smell is? Signed Matches
This is me in time out. Sighs. Mom says I have to pay the time for the crime. I don’t get it. I was just helping her out. You have to believe me on that. AND if you take my side after I tell you the story, then please write me a note to get me out of piggy jail in the comments. Will you do that my friends?
Piglove 