Tag Archives: crap

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What are friends?  Friends let you have the soft spot so that you can snuggle down and sleep.  This is my pal Henry.  He is the bestest friend in the entire world.  I was so tired and he didn’t want me to sleep on the hard ground so he offered his back just like a perfect gentleman.  I want your readers to take note – always put your friends first.  Signed Betsy

Dear Betsy – That is absolutely wonderful and delightful to see.  Friendship is so important and that my friend is awesome to see in today’s time and day.  I know that if someone wanted a soft place to sleep, I would gladly give up my back for a couple of hours or so.  I say spread the news – more love and less hate!

  Dear Bacon – Hey pal.  This is me at the spa.  I love the spa treatments but I hate water in my ears.  So my spa lady, she came up with the best idea – a shower cap.  Might I say this is genius!  And yeah, if you look closely in m picture you will also see my spa buddy – my rubber ducky – hanging out with me.  Do you have this much at the spa?  Signed Dewey

Dear Dewey – WOW – No my friend.  I can’t say that I personally have that much fun at the spa.  Now my little brother Houdini, he might.  Last time he went to the spa, mom walked in on him chatting up with a cute little poodle that he met.  I’ve heard that the spa is the next best thing to Animal Harmony in meeting other anipals.  Let me know – have you found love there at your spa?

  Dear Bacon – I admit it.  I didn’t jump hard or far enough.  I was shooting for the table where there was some food.  I may have underestimated and hit the garbage can.  Yep the humans heard.  Nope they didn’t help.  Of course they had to take a picture of my unfortunate landing for Facebook before rescuing me.  Isn’t that some kind of goat abuse or something?  Signed Merlin

Dear Merlin – Really?  Your humans took a picture of your unfortunate landing huh?  Well, might I suggest the next time your humans get – what does my mommy call it – tossed, take their picture.  What?  You don’t know what tossed is?  That’s when the humans drink that alcohol stuff too much and act whacky.  My mom calls it tossed.  Apparently they act worse then some anipals we know when they do this.  Have your camera aimed and ready to shoot their pictures my friends.  Karma is payback – snorts.

Dear Bacon – What?  The humans left me alone all day long in this tiny little area to entertain myself while they went to work.  First up, no toys.  Therefore I had to find my own.  I can’t help it that those paper towels decided to blow up during our adventures together.  At least I didn’t destroy what the humans call their crap paper.  See, I’ve read on your Dear Bacon issues how important those rolls are to humans.  I still don’t get it.  We just crap and kick over it – done.  End of discussion.  Second up, there were lots of interesting wires and tube looking things behind the so called washer and dryer.  At least they didn’t start anything with me to finish.  So basically, I was a good dog, right?  So where’s my treat?  Signed Jinx

Dear Jinx – I like the way you think my friend.  If those towels had not talked back, they would still be worthy opponents this day.  I find no fault with that whatsoever.  And I do agree with you on the other.  I myself find the “crap and kick over” method worthy of moving along.  I mean heck I think if more humans did that, they would be a lot less stressed.  Maybe we can start a campaign or something?

  Dear Bacon – Get in the car and let’s go!  I heard that Petsmart is giving out free cat treats to the first 100 customers.  They didn’t say those customers had to be humans.  We can do this – I can drive this car – sure I can.  BEEP BEEP Get out of the way humans.  Signed Felix

Dear Felix – You know I think I’m with you.  That’s honesty in advertising.  If they didn’t say humans, why not?  I wonder if I can pick up a few treats and toys while we are there.  I’ll grab dad’s credit card just in case.  I’ll be ready in five minutes!


REMEMBER my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures via email. ❤ 


Posted by on 01/12/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon


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Who You Gonna Call?

Sometimes you see something that is so simply amazing – so out of this world – so well full of it – snorts. I saw this picture on the Internet and I couldn’t believe it. I just had to share. I know you can come up with some of your own jokes after seeing this picture. So go – whatcha got?



Posted by on 11/09/2014 in Bacon


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