Tag Archives: crack
Say NO to Crack Dealers
I had to share this my friends. Mommy found this funny on the internet and had to share. Just say no to crack dealers – Snorts with piggy laughter! They hide in every corner pushing their product.
Shopping Around the World
This month we are highlighting appetizers or snacks.
This gives us so many choices to pick from and it was really hard for us to pick one. But after I thought long and hard about it, I had to go with dad’s crack. Snorts – no not that kind of crack. Dad actually has a snack treat that we call crack. Why crack? Because he can’t keep his hands out of the container when mom fixes it – snorts with piggy laughter. And when mom makes this, she fixes a whole bunch because it goes fast. You can use it as a snack or bring it to a party. So now, all of you can fix it and get hooked to on it. Enjoy my friends.
Dad’s Crack
1 bag of short pretzels (dad prefers these but you can use any kind of pretzel you want). For a bag of pretzels, we pay $1.29
2 bags of peanut butter morsels. You find these on the baking aisle. We paid $1.50 for each bag on this shopping trip.
2 boxes of movie theater sized Reeses Pieces (you know the kind they showed in the movie E.T – ha) These were $1.00 each in the store
Optional – a bag of toasted coconut. Sometimes dad likes this and other times he doesn’t. A bag of coconut costs $2.49 in the store.
Now, first up. If you are going to do the coconut you need to do this first. Put the coconut on a tray and stick it in the oven. Mom puts it under the broiler for a few minutes. Keep an eye on it because it will burn quickly. Toast the coconut and then set it aside to cool.
While your coconut is cooling, get a BIG bowl. Yep the bigger the better in this case. Pour in your entire bag of pretzels followed by your Reeses Pieces and peanut butter morsels. When your coconut is cool, throw it into the party as well. Then stir everything together and make sure it is nicely mingled. Mom then packages the crack into individual containers for dad’s destruction.
So you see, it’s an easy snack that goes a long way and peeps love it! The final cost for this snack is less than $9.00 (with coconut) and that should last either a couple of weeks, one night at a party or two days with dad – snorts. And never fear, if you don’t like peanut butter, just substitute items for what you do love. For example any kind of chocolate candy and any kind of baking morsels. Happy crack my friends.
Dad is on Crack
Here is the proof – dad is on crack.
He’s been on it for over two weeks now and he is fully addicted. He says the power is so strong that he lives and breathes this crack. Poor dad. He needs to go into rehab to get off of it. I don’t really blame mom. I mean hey, she did cook it up but it’s not like she forced dad to get hooked. I guess in a way you can say mom is the pusher though. Why else would she keep this junk in the house where daddy can find it and overdose in it. I would like to say I feel sorry for daddy but he’s not sharing the good stuff he said. So I don’t know how addictive it is or not.
And trust me, mom put the works in this stuff. Pretzel sticks, peanuts, peanut butter M&M’s, raisins and butterscotch drops. That was a full bucket. But every time daddy goes into the kitchen, he comes out with a paw full. Poor daddy – shakes piggy head – what a user!.
Say NO to Crack Dealers
I had to share this my friends. Mommy found this funny on the internet and had to share. Just say no to crack dealers – Snorts with piggy laughter! They hide in every corner pushing their product.
Dear Bacon
Dear Bacon – They know me in the wild as the guy to go to for back adjustments. We all have problems with our backs from time to time. You know with all of the jumping, running and playing with our buddies. So I’m here to offer you my services dude. When your giddy up has gone and went, give me a call for an adjustment. Signed Crack Doctor
Dear Crack Doctor – WOW. I’m at a lost for words. Really. By the looks of that purr thing that you are “adjusting”, I would take a gander and say they are as well. Back adjustments… hhhhmmm… I think I’ll pass. You know the little tyke here Houdini has great paws for massages. I think I’ll call him for a massage. But hey, I appreciate the offer. You carry on and flourish with your business my friend.
Dear Bacon – Let’s understand each other okay. You show respect to us purr things and I won’t have to call that elf of yours Don Juan. Capice? We have ways of making our communication brutal. Just one phone call from Hemi or Mouse Girl and I will drop a line to elfy. We wouldn’t want that now would we? Signed Enforcer
Dear Enforcer – gulps. Understand my friend. I understand completely. No reason to call Don Juan. We are all family here. Love your coloring and by the way have I told you that purr things rock? They really do – honestly. Creeps out of this letter….slowly and silently.
Dear Bacon – Sometimes the best things in life is just sitting back to watch the animals and humans. You can see some amazing things in the household when you do this. Just be quiet and observe. Have you ever done this? Signed Voyeur
Dear Voyeur – YES I agree 100% my friend. One time, I watched daddy come out of the shower. My eyes! What has been seen can not be unseen. And hey, he jumped pretty high when I snorted – rolls with laughter. Carry on watching and let me know what you see next. 🙂
Dear Bacon – I *almost* got caught in this picture. I mean dude it was a close call for sure! The barky thing is so loud and loves to pick on us purr things when the humans aren’t lucky. I had it with that mutt up to my forehead. So, he came by and I was just about to flick my nails out when I saw the humans out of the corner of my eye. Thank goodness I saw them looking so I did what all cats do best – I looked disinterested and innocent. You know the look I’m sure. But it definitely was a close one. Have you ever been almost caught in action? Signed Wolverine
Dear Wolverine – Squeals! That was a close call my friend. Thank goodness your spidey senses were working and you noticed the humans. I hope that you did get even with the barky thing when it was more convenient – snorts. I’m sure he had it coming his way. Snorts – have a great one!
Dear Bacon – Really? This is the juvenile behavior I have to put up with at my own castle. My little brother doesn’t get his way so he acts like a small person wearing diapers and sticks his tongue out at me. Really? What is he two?! What am I to do? Shakes head. Signed – Beyond Irritated
Dear Beyond Irritated – Just walk away. My best advice my friend. Unless you want to contact the Enforcer up above or Wolverine from up above. I’m sure they can tell you a few pointers. I certainly couldn’t. Cause you know I’m just so cute and would never do anything to anyone. 🙂 Right Enforcer? Snorts.
Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming. Send them to my email address. Have a great day!
Snorticles – Men Twerking
Yep – I said that and you read correctly – Men Twerking. I know my buddy Fozzie is going to laugh when she sees this sign that me and mom saw in our adventures. Someone added a few letters and now men are twerking – snorticles and rolls around laughing. I wonder if the guys knew why people were pointing and laughing at them as they drove by? Maybe that explains why some of their pants were so low you could see sunset crack? Maybe – just maybe – the guys were the ones that did this to the sign. No Fozzie – it wasn’t me honestly. Looks innocently around. Really I was in the back of Albert, mom’s Smart car. I wouldn’t do that. Snorts and squeals.
Piglove 