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Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – Dude, I hear you talking all of the time about having to do chores there at your crib.  I know you hate them but think of me.  I’m the glass carrier.  Yep, I think this picture says a thousand words.  My human is forever losing her glasses.  So I go behind her, find them and bring them to her.  My job is endless.  And please no smudges when you deliver the glasses.  The human already can’t see – Barks!  Signed Corgi Services

Dear Corgi Services – My friend – I am highly impressed.  And no smudges.  You are the finder of glasses and you keep your human on task by bringing them to her.  I must see if I can help my mom out too… she’s always losing her contacts…. I’ll try not to smudge them or swallow them – snorts!


 Dear Bacon – HA!  That’ll teach the old cow to try to outplay me in my own field.  He’s always getting his picture taken by the farmer and his kids.  “Look at the cow, he’s so cute”, blah-blah-blah is all I hear.  How about look at the squirrel and my powerful horns.  That’s right.  Those are my horns… not the stupid old cow.  Signed Bull Squirrel

Dear Bull Squirrel – WOW, those are some mighty big horns you have there.  It must be really hard with your every day life.  I can only imagine little things like just moving… or heaven forbid you should run.  I say you are a blessed little creature for sure and you have some mighty fine horns.


Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  So I like to dress in clothes – so what.  So does a lot of other dogs.  But all of a sudden people are calling me names.  I don’t get that.  And they keep looking at me and saying, “Khakis?”  Well, yes khakis.  I think they make my legs look longer.  Please help me.  Signed Jake

Dear Jake – Give me a second dear friend.  Your name is Jake?  Really for sure?  I’m so sorry pal.  Can I ask who you have your insurance with?  Okay I’m sorry.  I digress.  You know you shouldn’t worry what people think about you.  It’s how you feel about YOU.  And Jake, if wearing khakis make you feel good about YOU, then go right ahead and do it.  I’m off now.  I hope that helps.  I need to make a call to my insurance company, State Farm.


Dear Bacon – Listen little guy.  I belong to a secret club.  It’s called the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.  We meet once a week.  You know to discuss important things that we have in our lives.  I can’t tell you specifics because well you know it’s a secret club for men.  This is my hat that I wear and then I do the secret shuffle and they let me in.  If you are ever in my hood, look me up and I will take you to a meeting.  Signed Grand Poobah

Dear Grand Poobah – Dude!  That looks so cool.  And a secret club with secret moves and knocks.  I am so there the next time I vacation in your area.  Count me in.  What do I need to do to get that awesome headgear.  I know I can rock it just like you!

 

 


❤ Friends – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤

 
25 Comments

Posted by on 08/30/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

 Dear Bacon – Thank goodness for Pokemon GO!  While everyone is out looking for Pokemon, me and my bros are practicing our battle Corgi skills on an empty beach.  Talk about fun in the sun.  No one to watch us work our magic.  Corgi’s will rule one day !  We might even let you in on our team since your’e a cool pig.  Signed Corgi’s Unite!

Dear Corgi’s Unite – Oh my piggy heavens!  Look at ya’ll with your swords and everything.  Dudes, ya’ll have skills.  I just know I could fit in.  I have a powerful snout.  Trust me on that.  I put my head down and snout out and CHARGE!  Keep practicing and keep me posted okay.

 


 Dear Bacon – Hey.  You definitely need to join us for a drink the next time you are in our area.  We know this bar where everyone knows your pet and human name.  The tab is endless – they just bill our charges to the human folks when they come in – good deal, huh?  So the next time you are our way, stop in for a bowl of milk or popcorn or a pint… of ice cream that is.  Signed, Coon, Pug and Mutt

Dear Coon, Pug and Mutt – Now you are talking my language.  A anipal friendly bar where they know our names and don’t bill us but our humans.  I am so in on this fun ride.  Save me a pint please cause I’m off to map you on my Waze app.

 

 


Dear Bacon – You do realize that by the human dressing me up in this garb, taking my picture and then laughing like a jackass, there will be punishment repaid.  How embarrassing huh?  The human is even talking about me wearing this ridiculous outfit for Halloween in a couple of months.  Please make this stop.  What can I do?  Signed Oscar (and yes that’s my name – rolls kitty eyes)

Dear cough-cough Oscar – Dude, you have to admit the brilliance of your outfit.  I know – I know.  But look at you.  You are rocking the Oscar the Grinch outfit and it is priceless in the second picture.  I think you would definitely be a blast at Halloween in that costume.  But just say for pay back, maybe you can leave a fur ball on your humans favorite chair or on their pillow.  I think that would be plenty sufficient cause trust me.  In the end, you are the STAR!


 Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  These Air Jordans are suppose to make you be able to jump and fly and dunk.  I can’t do any of these things still.  I say this is false advertisement.  I should sue that human.  What do you think?  Signed Skippy

Dear Skippy – Snorts my friend.  First off, I think in order to “jump and fly” you would actually need some on your back feet as well.  And then running with a little thrust, you might just be able to fly.  And hey, it might help if you lace them up.  I’m just saying.  You don’t want to be mid-air and lose your shoe.  But until then, maybe you should watch this movie called, “White Men Can’t Jump”.  You know just for research purposes.  You might be able to make some money on the side if you take careful notes.  Let me know okay and I can be your manager one day.


 Dear Bacon – I win again this year!  This is me in my championship picture of hide and go seek.  Awesome huh?  Every year in my county, they have a contest with anipals hiding in their environment.  I won again!  That’s two years back to back.  So, you got any wonderful hide and seek pictures?  Signed Winner

Dear Winner – OMP – I had to take a double look there to find you my friend.  You do blend – very well!  I say conpigulations on your win.  And it’s never too early to start working on next year’s winning picture.  I just know you can make it three years in a roll!  You go!

 

 

 


REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep emailing me your pictures and letters.

 

 
21 Comments

Posted by on 08/02/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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