Happy weekend my friends. Hemi is manning the grill – anyone for some chicken? (It’s about time that purr thing does something that’s useful around here at the Hotel Thompson instead of slapping my piggy captains quarters!)
Dear Bacon, Just sitting here minding my own business enjoying a cool one after a long day of chasing the mailman and purr things from my kingdom of a yard. Then the human comes home and has to snap this picture. What? Haven’t you ever seen a pooch relax before? Signed Coors Doggy
Dear Coors Doggy, I don’t get it either my friend. Just a pooch, dressed up drinking a beer. What could your human be thinking with taking a picture? Doesn’t he do the same thing? In fact when he does, why don’t you take *his* picture and let him see what it feels like to be disturbed from your happy place..
Dear Bacon, The humans don’t believe me Bacon. There I was in the kitchen with this rotisserie chicken in the package. Dog’s honor, the chicken exploded out of the package. Yeah, that’s it. It exploded out of the package and ran away. Why do the humans think we did this? Signed Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty
Dear Two Innocents Until Proven Guilty, WOW! I think you need to call your local police department on this one…. maybe Ripley’s Believe it or Not. I can see the headlines now – “Rotisserie Chicken Jumps out of Packaging and Flees”. Uh-oh. Wait a minute. You better rethink that. What if that gets out that you two strong, husky protect dogs let an innocent little chicken flee from the safety confines of your home. This won’t end well. Perhaps you better come up with a better story. How good was that chicken?
Dear Bacon, Ssshhsss – I’m trying to blendsss in here in the hood. I don’t thinksss anyone seessss me yet. I just hope the neighborsss don’t try to hand up any signsss here. I could be busted if they do. Signed Hide and Seeksss Champ
Dear Hide and Seeksss Champ, Gulps. I may never look at a phone poll the same way ever again my friend. You blend so well. Your colors – wow! I’m amazed at your climbing skills of going up and not falling off.
Dear Bacon, One word buddy – OUCH! Snoopy made this look so easy. Trust me my friend. It is not. I may never be able to bark like a big dog ever again. Do not try this at home. Signed Help Me
Dear Help Me, WOW! Watch out Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme. I think you have some skills there my friend. Probably more now that you’ll never be able to reproduce again – snorts.
Dear Bacon, First we put flour on the board and then crack some eggs. What? You don’t do the cooking at the Hotel Thompson? Oh buddy – you so have to learn in case the humans go on vacation again. These days, I take care of myself. When the humans leave, I hit the fridge and freezer for some culinary delights. If you want to learn to cook, I’m your dog! Signed Chef Poo Chie Lagasse
Dear Chef Poo Chie Lagasse, Sign me up for some lessons my friend. I think all anipals should learn how to cook. I’m good… as long as there is no pork on the menu 🙂
REMEMBER friends Dear Bacon can’t happen without your letters and pictures. Please continue to send them to me for our Dear Bacon issues. Snorts and thanks!
Happy New Years my friends! Can you believe that it is already 2015 – Where did 2014 go? Today, I’m going to do something a little different here on my blog. I want to share with you something that my mother wrote recently on handicaps. It may be a little long, but I hope you take the time to read it. I think this will be perfect to start this new year with awareness and kindness and paying it forward. Enjoy and let me know what you think 🙂
Let’s play a game. Close your eyes, tight now no looking. Now, I want you to try to do things around your house. Go to the kitchen and get a drink; try going to the bathroom; turning the television on; or making a phone call. Can you do it? Can you remember the layout of your home? Can you remember what your phone looks like and where the numbers are? What about the remote control?
These are all problems that my husband encounters everyday. You see in 2004, he was in a minor car accident and almost died. That’s right I said minor accident. He was only going 30 miles per hour when a car accident happened and his airbags deployed. The force of the airbags against his chest caused massive blood clots in his lungs. He was in intensive care for nearly 12 weeks coming close to death several times. In fact at one point, the doctors asked mommy if she believed in miracles because it was time to start praying for one. 😦
Within two years of his accident and many, MANY surgeries that we lost count, he lost his vision. This is not a story to say, “Oh dear, you poor thing”. This is a story to enlighten people, restaurants and businesses. Handicaps are not just visibly seen by wheelchairs, walkers or canes. Some handicaps you would never know unless you knew the person. This is my husband Jim. He does everything we do just with a little help.
When we go out together, we are always holding hands. This is something that we have always done for the 26 years we have been together. But now, it’s also to help guide Jim. He doesn’t use a cane and it’s not because of vanity. Jim and others with vision impairments want to be ‘normal’ as much as they can be and I can deal with that. Wouldn’t you? He does everything you and I do but just with a little help.
When we go out to eat, we hold hands walking to the table. If you are close enough to hear us, you might hear me say, “Walk straight, your chair is to the left.” And you will see Jim walk straight to his chair just like he ‘saw it’. You may hear me discussing the menu just like regular people do on, “What do you want to eat?” You might even hear me tell him when the food comes to the table, “Chicken on the bottom, green beans to the left and corn to your right.” But other than that, Jim can eat all by himself just like a big boy. 🙂 So, you might not ‘see’ that he has a visual impairment. And after dinner when we walk to the car, you will see Jim open my car door for me and then walk to his side and get in. Does that ‘look’ like a handicap to you?
But here is where we need to step up in businesses and restaurants. We are all for a little romantic dinner in a restaurant where the mood is set and the lights are low. But some restaurants tend to push the envelope a little more these days. But for someone with a visual handicap that might ‘see’ perhaps a little light to guide them, a little mood set with lights low makes them completely blind. The little bit of tunnel vision Jim might have in one eye is now completely blocked by low light setting and where he might be able to look ‘naturally’ before now he can’t. You add the low lighting with a white table cloth and white dishes, he is going to stumble around on his plate. His drink might get bumped. He may drop his napkin. Waiters/Waitresses – please note this is not something that he is doing ‘on purpose’. Please don’t say something to him negatively. Please don’t “talk down” to him like a child. And by all means watch what you say not to insult. People with vision impairments don’t do these things on purpose. They don’t want the extra attention. They want to feel normal in every aspect that they can. When we ask for a table with a little more light, don’t make a big deal by the request. I mean we could eat at home and we often do but don’t we all want to go out from time to time?
And bathrooms in public – sigh. More businesses and restaurants really need to come up family bathrooms. We have come across these in our travels and they are fabulous! Why do you ask? Well, hopefully in your own home you know the layout of your bathroom. But in a strange place, can you imagine closing your eyes and feeling your way around in a bathroom when you have to potty? There have been a lot of times that I will walk Jim to the door, open it and try to peak in to tell him where everything is – beware men – I’m not trying to look at what you are doing 🙂 Really, I’m not.
If you see someone that is acting ‘off’ and it doesn’t ‘show’ that they have a handicap, they may just have a visual handicap that you don’t see. Instead of walking by or acting like you might catch it, why don’t you stop and chat. Don’t worry, they won’t bite. Believe me, just because they are visually impaired, they do have a sense of humor still.
If they are trying to go to the restroom, why don’t you volunteer to guide them. Trust me, they won’t hesitate for your help. If they drop their flatware on the floor, why don’t you replace it and touch their shoulder and say, “No problem sir”. If you have someone that asks for a more lit table, don’t belittle them or act like it’s a big deal – accommodate
And don’t think Jim is being a snob if he doesn’t shake your hand when you offer yours. Just a heads up – most people with a visual impairment can’t see your hand. 🙂 Sometimes it helps if you touch their shoulder and say, “Good to meet you”. And of course, if I’m there I will be glad to tell Jim your arm is extended. Don’t worry. You can shake hands. You won’t catch his blindness.
Most handicapped people don’t want a free pass. They want to feel like they fit in and can still do what they once could. Jim is the same. He knows our house like the back of his hand. He takes care of the kids and the house. He can clean like you wouldn’t believe! He makes the beds. He does all of the laundry. He does the dishes. He can cook for himself. Astonishing huh? It just takes a few tweaks on my part to make his life like it once was. The microwave is marked, the washing machine is marked, the dryer is marked – all with little tabs that he can ‘feel’ to turn on and off.
I’m not writing this story for sympathy. I’m not writing this story for money. I’m writing this story for knowledge on visual impairments. The next time you see someone with a visual problem – where you see it with someone using a cane or being guided by someone, don’t fear them or treat them differently. Be kind and helpful. And hey – why not even help their caregiver out for a while. Do you know that must people with visual impairments still like to do things for their loved ones. This has been one of the biggest downfalls to Jim’s vision. There are times that he would love to go get me a card or some flowers but how can he when he can’t drive himself to do such a wonderful gesture? Perhaps if you know someone with a visual problem, offer to take them out for such a trip 🙂
In the new year let’s start practicing a little Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you want them to do to you”. Happy New Years!
Is it time for Bacon’s Show and Tell now? I thought it would never get here this month. This month we are highlighting the one toy that you really wanted as a child but never got while growing up. This should be really interesting today to see – here we go with mom’s.
When mom was little, she wanted an Easy Bake Oven. I bet there was more than one person who wanted this that didn’t get it. Can you believe that over the years, there have actually been 11 Easy Bake oven models?
In 1963 (way before mommy was hatched – snorts), the first one came out. It was turquoise and cost $15.95.
In 1965 (still before mommy’s time – snorts), Hasbro introduced Easy Pop Corn Popper, Birthday Cake, Party set and Kid dinners for the Easy Bake Oven. I guess that was one inventive way to get kids to eat their veggies.
In 1968 (mom still not born yet), General Mills came out with boxed versions for the Easy Bake oven.
Finally when mom was born in 1969 – see all of this wonderful stuff led to mom’s birth – Hasbro came out with the Easy Bake oven in green with more dials and even a hood.
Then in 1970, the green was replaced with gold and it cooked cakes twice as big.
In 1978, the Easy Bake Oven went stream lined and came out looking like a brown and white microwave.
Over the years, more improvements were made and more colors and sizes. Nowadays, the price of the average Easy Bake Oven goes between $29.99-$39.99, depending on what kind you get. So not much of a price difference really in 51 years. So many kids have loved these and played with them over the years.
Mom looks back and says she wanted one then but now she has a ‘real’ oven. She didn’t miss out on anything growing up in not having one… well maybe more calories on her butt but then again that’s a good thing she didn’t have one – snorts.
That’s right – I said Egg Separation. Snorticles – Got your attention? Mom doesn’t bake a lot but when she does she always has trouble separating the eggs – you know the yokes from the whites. What were you thinking? She found this pigawesome video on YouTube and had to share. She even tried it – it really does work! In no time at all, you’ll be doing some egg separation as well. Heck, even daddy can do it… anyone know what to do with a dozen separated yokes and whites?
P.S. Bakers – you might need lots of practice. With all of that practice, you might make an abundance of treats. This piggy loves treats… hint hint. Snorts.
Houston, we may have a problem. Do you remember reading the other day about daddy prepping the turkey for mommy? Well she came home from the worky place and saw it that night. She did laugh at his shall we say creativity. But, she told him that in return he would have to survive Black Friday.
I know Fridays. I live for them every week. Fridays mean that mommy will be home for the next couple of days. Fridays mean I get to stay up late and watch television with mom and dad. Fridays sometimes even mean popcorn while watching b-rated movies on the Sy-Fy channel.
But, I’ve never heard of this Black Friday. It has to be bad. I say this for a couple of reasons. First, when mommy told daddy he would have to “survive” this day, daddy stopped laughing. Heck, for a minute I thought he was going to cry. He kept saying, “But, but, but”. Mommy didn’t listen to him. Second of all, you know something is bad when mommy laughs like the wicked witch from the east. Ooh shivers just hearing that in my head.
So this Black Friday thing, what can it be? Is it dark as black outside all day and it’s a Friday this Black Friday? Is it a plague or disease? Did someone not pay the light bill? Is it the end of days? Should I start stock piling my piggy chow in my bedroom? I’ll admit that this little piggy was scared.
I did what I do best. I squealed, ran to my bedroom and slammed my door. I then immediately started doing some research on my laptop.
ODP (oh dear piggies). It’s worse than what I thought! Did you know that the day after Thanksgiving in the USA, they call it Black Friday? Here’s the scary part. People get up voluntarily at 0400 hours to camp outside of stores to go shopping!. Thud – piggy down! 0400 hours is like way before even Old McDonald gets up at the farm. It’s before the birds start chirping. It’s before they even make the doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme. Heck, it’s before *I* even stir in my toddler bed. That’s early!
Mommy is going to make daddy go shopping with her on Black Friday at 0400 hours. Two words mom. How uncivilized. I can’t believe mom is going to get up before the break of dawn. But friends, don’t feel too sorry for daddy. I saw him the garage laughing and getting “ready” for Black Friday. He was pulling out his old pads from his football days. I think I even saw him with a hockey stick and a helmet. Oohh mommy – who is punishing who now? Snorts.
Hey, I’m just trying to help out here around the house. The humans said I don’t pull my weight. That’s all I’m doing – trying to help out with the everyday chores. I thought I would help out with dinner. I’m sure it will taste like chicken – evil bark. Signed Chef Boy Ring Dog
Dear Chef Boy Ring Dog,
Step away from the stove my friend. Purr things are not made for eating. They are made for loving. Trust me, they do not taste like chicken. I’ve licked our purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. They taste nothing like chicken. Not even good. You don’t want any of that. Go find you some kibbles. Now that’s a meal.
I know you have a lot of horsey friends. Can I be your friend to? I think we have some similar markings. I’m hoping that you can help me out with a problem I have. Am I a black horse with white spots or am I a white horse with black spots? Signed Confucius Spots
Dear Confucius Spots,
I would love to be your friend! I’m so touched that you asked. As for your problem. Does it really matter? All that *does* matter is that you know you are beautiful either way. I mean that from the heart – You are stunning – just stunning my new friend.
What can I say, I’m a thrill seeker. Anything to get my heart pumping, I just LOVE to do. I know it drives Old McDonald over the edge here at the farm. I can’t help it though. Don’t you just love the excitement? Signed Evil Cowknivel
Dear Evil Cowknivel,
My friend, there is excitement and then there is excitement. Personally, I find it exciting just walking to the front room from my bedroom without getting the wrath of Hemi slapping my hind quarters. But, each to their own ways. Try not to give Old McDonald a heart attack in some of your activities. And heck, if you are going to take a risk, start charging admission so at least you can help the farm out. You know? Carry on my friend.
I’m trying to ‘bulk’ up. My friends say I’m skinny and scrawny. Do you think it’s working? Signed Squirt
Oh little guy, give it some time. You will grow into all of that fur. You don’t need to lift weights to do that. And tell your friends to quit bullying you. There is no room for bullying in this time and age – NONE WHATSOEVER. You are just fine the way you are.
Who says that skateboarding is just for guys and the humans. If I want to burn the roads up, why can’t I? Everyone says it’s just a guy sport. Why? Who makes up these rules? Chicks rule – we should make up the rules, right? Signed Atonia Hawk
Dear Atonia Hawk,
I’m not arguing with that, really I’m not. I’ve seen my human mom do some amazing guy things. I say if you are good at, then practice makes perfect. Don’t take any flack – show them whatcha got my furry friend!
Last night at the Hotel Thompson was touch and go for a bit. A storm moved in with an evil grin on its face around 3:00PM. The skies got dark and the the clouds got all mean looking. It got all dark outside like it was around midnight instead of the afternoon. Thunder clacked and echoed. Hotel Thompson sits in a gully and when the thunder boomed, the house literally shook. For a few minutes, we thought we were going to have our own edition of the Wizard of Oz and instead of Toto – you would have me Bacon.
Then the sky let loose with harsh rain and winds. You could hear it hitting the house and windows. One earsplitting BOOM of thunder and we were then sitting in the dark. The purr things ran and hid under the bed in mom/dad’s room. I knew I was safe with mom.
The front room was dark and all you could see were lightening flashes. When that happened, I could see mom/dad for just a few minutes before it went dark again. It was like a scary movie.
It was something that this little piggy didn’t enjoy. We finally all got up and went to bed. What else was there to do? Thank goodness my iPad still worked. Mom set me up with a cartoon, tucked me in and stayed with me until I finally drifted off. There’s just something about her voice!
I think we finally got electricity back up around 7:15PM. You really don’t realize the things you take for granted when you don’t have this wonderful thing called electricity. Like for instance, going to the bathroom with no windows. It’s dark in there! And cooking. Stoves don’t work without electricity. Thank goodness my food doesn’t require cooking 🙂
I’m just glad that today is a new day – all full of sun and heat. So Mother Nature, if you’re listening, no more thunder storms for a while okay. We would really appreciate that 🙂
Saturdays are the best days at the Hotel Thompson. Mom is off of the worky place and she is home. I follow her around the house like a little puppy dog just wagging my tail. I sit in the kitchen and watch her cook – that’s one of my favorite things. You ask why? I’m glad you asked. Because she throws me little pieces of food – whatever she is preparing. It can be crackers, croutons, vegetables, salad mix, fruit – whatever she is working with for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Also Saturdays mean Saturday night family movie night. We pick a movie, pop popcorn and watch the movie together. We all take turns picking a flick. And, I get to stay up as late as I want with mom. This is a special treat since usually my bedtime during the week is pretty routine.
Saturdays also mean chores. Sigh – even I have chores but at least mom helps so they go quickly. I have to help in cleaning my room and taking all of my laundry to the wash room. Afterwards, I have to help with folding which is kind of fun because well you know I have hooves not fingers. Snort – so usually I end up rolling around in the warm towels and mom laughs. I have to also help in picking up all of my
toys in the house and putting them in my piggy toy box. Then we steam mop my bedroom floor. I can’t help with that but I like to watch 🙂
Afterwards, it’s mommy piggy snuggle time on the sofa. I stretch out and mommy rubs my back and belly as she writes and answers mail until movie time.
I hope your Saturday is as fun as mine! XOXO – Bacon
This is so funny!! Even people at moms worky place love me. One of them gave mom this cute little pancake set. Now mom can make my pancakes to look like me. This is so cool!! And don’t you love the little pink pig spatula? It even has a little tail on the back of the handle. Too funny!
And don’t you love the original “piggy bank”? Mom says they used to be very popular when she was growing up. She saw this one at the store and took a picture to show me. I thought it was hilarious. You actually put money in it. And you know the only way to get it out? Take a hammer to it is what mom says. But who wants to do that and break it?
Well mom will be off soon for the next four days. I don’t know who is more excited, me or dad. I can’t wake for my mommy snuggle time.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I’ll be chatting soon. XOXO – Bacon