Dear Bacon – This is the pits. No I mean it really. It’s not bad enough that my humans put these ridiculous pajamas on me. Now I have to wear the cone of shame. AND they sat me in a make shift bed which is really an old potty box with a blanket. Really? This is how they treat me. Can you give me a word of encouragement my piggy friend? Signed Cat in the Hat
Dear Cat in the Hat – You know my friend. You are looking at this all wrong. Look at it from the positive prospective. They put pajamas on you – I’m guessing – so that you wouldn’t scratch whatever you had done surgically, right? Then they put the pitiful projector on your head so you couldn’t lick or bite that particular surgical spot, right? AND then they put you in a comfortable spot with a blankie so you would be comfy. See, look at it from this prospective. Do you know what all of that adds up to this little piggy? To me it says your humans care for you way more than you think and want you to be comfortable during this duration. Instead of looking at it from your point of view, take it from my point of view. And let me add, suck it up for all it’s worth – humans love that when they think they’ve done something to you 🙂
Dear Bacon – Can you believe my humans have the audacity to blame ‘me’ – innocent cute little ‘me’ – as stealing one of their valuable orange crunchy things they snack on while watching television? Me. There is no way they can pin this crime on me. There is no proof! Signed Cheeto
Dear Cheeto – Do me a favor my friend. Go to your nearest mirror and look at yourself. Go ahead. I’l wait. Whistles while waiting and taps hooves. Oh good you are back. Did you see that incriminating evidence on your cute little face? The orange stuff my friend. That would be evidence of eating your humans prized Cheetos. By your name, I’m thinking this is not your first run in with the law on being busted for this crime. Might I make a suggestion for future escapades? Once you have partaken of the evil Cheeto, go drink some water out of your bowl with delight. I mean slush that water around on your cute little face to wash the orange stuff off. No proof means it didn’t happen my friend. Happy eating.
Dear Bacon – I was cold. It was freezing in this house. My humans like to hang me as they so delightfully like to say. Don’t worry about us little pooches. I had to resort to the last step and wrap myself like a hot dog. It does the trick especially with the sun coming in from the window. Have you ever been this cold? Signed Cold Dog
Dear Cold Dog – WOW. I say if you’re cold, go for it my friend. I’m one of the very few here with us anipals that love it cold. I’m with my mom and like you said, we like to hang meet here at the Hotel Thompson. The colder the better. Heck, if we could skip over summer we would so do so. Stay warm my friend!
Dear Bacon – Here is my brother. He is so weird. I was looking down at the dog just minding my own business. That’s when Patches (my bro) jumped up and pulled my head up. What was so important that he wanted me to see you ask? The humans were cooking breakfast. Something smelled so delightful. They call it bacon. I’m just wondering. Do you know what this glorious smell is? Signed Matches
Dear Matches – I know exactly what that awful stuff called bacon is. It’s horrible. Such a bad thing to ever try. Some humans get addicted to it. See, that’s how bad it is for you cats. Once hooked, they can’t go back. And I for one can guarantee you that you don’t want to get hooked on that bad drug. Yeah, it’s a bad drug. Better steer far away from it my friends. I wouldn’t want it to stunt your growth or anything. Snorts!
Dear Bacon – Don’t you jussst love my new ssssweater? I got it for my birthdaysss. I just love to sssslither around the house wearing itsss. I think it makesss me ssslim and bringsss out the color of my eyessss. What do you thinksss? Signed Sexy and I Know It
Dear Sexy and I Know It – As long as YOU think you are sexy and you know it, does it really matter what anyone else thinks? You rock that sweater around your house all you want. Perhaps maybe next time your humans can get you a longer one? Keep slithering there where you are my friend.
FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂
Tags: adventure, advice, advice column, animal, appreciation, bacon, Bad, cat, cats, Cheetos, chips, Cold, column, comedy, cone, Cone of Shame, crime, cute, daddy, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, devil, dog, dress, entertainment, evidence, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, humans, humor, kid, kittens, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pajamas, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, pug, shame, sleep, smart, snake, snorts, spoiled, surgery, trouble
Dear Bacon – I am the All Mighty Magical Hare. That’s right – I’m a magician. I got tired of the human pulling me out of his hat. It was dark in there. Now I do the tricks. What? You never saw a magical hare before? There’s lot of us out there that are famous. You’ll see. Signed All Mighty Magical Hare
Dear All Mighty Magical Hare – I say go for it my fuzzy little friend! Why play second fiddle when you can be the main star. And with that charming red coat – who could see nothing but a STAR? There are lots of rabbits out there that are famous – the Trix Rabbit, the Energizer bunny, Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh, Roger Rabbit, Bugs Bunny and now YOU – the All Mighty Magical Hare. I can see your name in spot lights. I can see you in sold out theaters. I can see David Copperfield shaking in his expensive shoes. That makes me wonder. Who are you going to pull out of your hat my friend? Snorts and oinks.
Dear Bacon – You see nothing here. Nothing at all. There is no dog under this pillow. Nope. Nada. Walk on my friend. Nothing to see here at ALL. Signed Walk the Line
Dear Walk the Line – You got be faster than that my furry friend. The evidence is now in the picture. I suggest you shred these pictures and delete them from your computers. If you can’t see it, it didn’t happen. Remember those words and tread lightly.
Dear Bacon – Who says that the little miniature humans are the only ones to have fun on toys? Is that a rule set in concrete? I think not. I made it not. When everyone went to bed, I jumped and rode a horse. It was fast. It was fun. It was the time of my life until…. I forgot about the motion sensor camera the humans put in the front room. Can you say busted little guy? Signed Caught in Giddy Up
Dear Caught in Giddy Up – Hey, don’t sweat it my friends. You can only imagine what that camera catches the humans doing. I’m just sayin’ do a little research for some blackmail in case they decide to put your picture on their Christmas cards this year. Snorts – Giddy Up!
Dear Bacon – The possibilities are endless. My brother has the cone of shame. Sure I feel for him. Who wouldn’t, right? But for all of the crap he has given me, does this look give you any enlightenment to the
torture fun I’m going to have with him? Evil barks! Signed Some Doggie?
Dear Some Doggie – Oh no! I’ve heard about you recently my friend. You are the one that does all of these bad things to doggies and then dogs get blamed for it. Some Doggie – you are famous. I gotta admit that your bro looks a little pitiful. Maybe go a little easy on him… just a little okay.
Dear Bacon – My humans forgot to feed me tonight. Something about they were tired and sick. They went to bed early without a second thought to little me and my needs like FOOD. That’s okay though. I’ve been sitting up here watching them sleep for a couple of hours. I don’t plan on moving until they wake up and see me here. That should give them plenty of nightmares for the rest of their lives and they should never forget about me again. What do you think? Signed Pissed
Dear Pissed – Oh.my.pigs. Remind me to *never* piss you off my friend…. or to piss off the purr things here. They may get instruction from you. If I woke up to you staring at me from above…. I think I would wet myself right there and then in my piggy bed. Squeals!
REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU. Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂
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Yawns. Welcome Bacon’s friends to *my* first Paw Time with Houdini. Bacon has so graciously allowed me a weekly spot on his blog to get to know all of you and vice versa. Isn’t he the best!? So every Friday afternoon, I will get a chance to write a little something from my heart.
This week, I wanted to introduce myself and talk about life here at the Hotel Thompson so far. I’ve been here four months and I have to say that this is home. It feels home surrounded by love. Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl have all so graciously welcomed me here into their lives. Although we have all been adopted, you would never tell with mom and dad. They treat us just like their own and love us all.
Lots of things and firsts have happened. Recently, I was abducted by aliens. Can you believe that? I’ve watched television shows in Bacon’s bedroom on his television about these aliens. They abducted me right before Christmas and left weird markings on my belly. Mommy says that tomorrow I go and get these stringy things out called stitches. They have itched me like crazy! So much so that I have had to wear this cone of shame thingy.
But don’t feel to sorry for me. I make this cone! Well that’s what daddy tells me and I ❤ my daddy. These pictures shows it – barks. And this cone doesn’t slow me down one single bit. Not at all. I run around still like there’s no tomorrow.
Life here at the Hotel Thompson is easy, great and fun. There’s lots of love and cuddles and food and fun and toys. I get so excited about all of it.
Well – yawns – until next time my new friends. Take care and have fun!
Tags: adventure, aliens, animal, appreciation, barks, comedy, cone, Cone of Shame, cute, daddy, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, growing up, happy, Hotel Thompson, Houdini, humor, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, Mom, neuter, Paw Time with Houdini, pet, pets, play, playful, priceless, puppy, smart, spoiled, stitches, surgery, trouble, vet
Hello my dear friends. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas holiday. It was wonderful here at the Hotel Thompson. I think it was one of the best we’ve had in several years that I can remember. What? I’m only four – snorts.
We had some things to overcome the week of Christmas – one being mom being ill and then there was Houdini. Cute poor little guy. The picture to the left is one that was taken on the way to invasion of aliens procedure… well that’s what daddy calls it anyway – snorts. He looks so pitiful doesn’t he? He had no clue. Now personally I don’t remember the invasion of the alien procedure but I have the scars to show for it. Mine was done so early in my life – at three weeks. Unbelievable huh? Hoo-Hoo waited until six MONTHS for his procedure. Anyway, I don’t remember mine and mom and dad so that’s a good thing.
Mom and dad dropped off the little guy at 8:00 am on Tuesday, December 23, 2014. Mom was advised that Houdini would be abducted first. WOW – if anything these aliens are precise huh? Mom for some reason was a nervous wreck all morning long. The vet’s office advised she could call around noon to check the status of the alien invasion. Rolls piggy eyes. Mommy doesn’t have that kind of patience so of course she called at 11:30AM. He was in recovery. The staff advised he was doing fine and mom could pick him up after 4:00PM. Of course, again you know my mom’s patience level – rolls piggy eyes, she was there at the office at 3:45PM – snorts.
Mom and dad picked him up, got his medicines (he has a pain pill and an antibiotic) and brought him home. The first he did? He tried to lick where his alien invasion happened. I don’t get it. I don’t remember licking mine – but then again how could I? My head doesn’t move like that. Darn not having shoulders per say.
Mom immediately called the doctors office and they told her to put a shirt on him so she did. Cute huh? Perhaps she should have went with the shirt that said, “Problem Child”. Snorts because he was a problem child. He kept at it and would move his shirt.
Again mom called the vet’s office. They advised there was the last possibility – the cone of shame. Thud – now this should be fun. So mom and dad dropped off Houdini at Nana’s to be watched while they drove as fast as they could in Albert the Smart car to the local pet store to get a cone of shame.
Okay does this picture not look like a sign of ultimate defeat? I actually even felt sorry for the little guy for a while. Here he was all drugged up, recovering from surgery and then with the cone of shame. The first couple of days, he was out of it and so was mom. Let me tell you about the love of a mom. Poor Hoo-Hoo, he wasn’t in pain because he was drugged. But mommy wanted to make sure he was okay. So what does she do? She holds him all night long, rocks him to sleep, sings to him and rubs his little back. All for his comfort so he knows he’s okay. Can you say aaww? But that’s my mom. She’s done the same thing for all of us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson.
Yesterday was the last day of the little guy’s medicines. I’m not sure who is more glad of that – Houdini or mom – snorts. I admit he was really good about taking them up until Saturday. Then he was back to giving mommy a hard time getting those two pills down twice a day.
And don’t think that cone of shame slowed the little guy down. Not one bit. By Thursday, he was into EVERYTHING. He even got stuck up under mom/dad’s bed. Wearing his cone, he couldn’t get out and he whined so of course mom went on a hunt and find mission. There he was stuck up underneath a king size bed. And there was mom, laying on the floor reaching up underneath it trying to get him. I have to admit it was a hoot of a good time for all of us anipals. Of course it was. We *all* tried to help by climbing up and over and all around mom while she was on the floor. Snorts – it took her about thirty minutes but she got him out. I wished I had video taped it.
So that’s where we stand right now at the Hotel Thompson. Houdini still has his cone of shame on and he is healing up nicely. He will get his stitches out this coming Saturday – which is a good thing. Then the cone of shame can come off and he can get a good soak in the tub.
Tags: adventure, Alien, animal, antiobiotic, appreciation, baby, bacon, Bad, cat, Christmas, comedy, cone, Cone of Shame, cute, daddy, devil, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, growing up, happy, Holiday, Hotel Thompson, Houdini, humor, invasion, kid, Love, medicines, miniature pot bellied pig, Mom, mommy, neuter, pain, pet, pets, pig, pills, play, playful, priceless, recovery, shame, sleep, smart, snorts, spoiled, stitches, surgery, trouble, vet, veterinary
I’m disgraced. My humans find this ‘amusing’. I find it humiliating. While they were celebrating the big turkey day of Thanksgiving, I was the walking entertainment for family and friends. Does it look as bad as it feels? Signed Pugmiliated
Um, um, well, no it doesn’t look that bad my friend. Not really. You could turn the tables and go with it. If your humans are going to ‘dress’ you up like turkey, maybe ask for some turkey in return? And really, it does kind of blend in with your skin color. You can hardly notice it!
You know it is that time of the year – it’s cold outside. I don’t think many of us will be wearing shorts. I was looking at my legs yesterday when I was bathing. Do you think I can go the entire winter without shaving? I won’t be wearing any dresses and I’ll be sleeping a lot this winter. Signed Ms. Bearable
Dear Ms. Bearable,
I say do what makes you feel good. It is winter and no one sees legs in the winter. In fact, I’ll tell you a secret. I heard my mommy talking about this just yesterday to daddy. I think a lot of ladies feel the same way. And heck, you’re going to be sleeping. You might need that winter coat to keep you warm.
I want to tell you a secret. Sometimes when no one is looking, I will put this cone on my head and pretend I’m an unicorn. So-so pretty! Don’t you think? Signed Pretender
Hey, I’m not casting a stone. Sometimes when no one is looking, I like to put my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet on me and run around the house oinking BOO at everyone. No judgements my friend.
Sometimes the humans think that they have *us* trained. What they don’t realize is that *we* have THEM trained. I personally like to take my human to play fetch a lot. Hey, I’m trying to help them lose some of that holiday weight. But when we are out and they are talking to their friends like they are exercising us, I just have to stick my tongue out at them. Is this bad of me? Signed Jazzercise
Hey, as long as the humans don’t see it, what harm is in it? I tell my humans that I get plenty of exercise. It’s a long walk between my room and the kitchen at the Hotel Thompson.
The wife – she left me on Black Friday to do this thing the humans call shopping. If that wasn’t bad enough, she left me with all of the kids too. Here I am trying to watch all of the football games and they are under my feet as usual. Should I be mad that she left me to get out of the house? Signed Kitty Football
Dear Kitty Football,
Hey, it looks like you have everything under control there my friend. All of your bundles are with you – they look comfy and satisfied. You had the situation under control. Nah, don’t be mad. A woman needs some time alone out of the house by herself. Way to go super dad!
Remember my friends, keep your questions and pictures coming. Send them to me at email@example.com
Tags: adventure, animal, appreciation, baby, bacon, bear, bed, black friday, cat, cats, comedy, cone, cute, daddy, Dear Abby, Dear Bacon, dog, entertainment, freedom, Friends, fun, funny, games, growing up, happy, Holiday, horse, Hotel Thompson, humor, kid, kittens, lazy, Love, miniature pot bellied pig, pet, pets, pig, play, playful, priceless, pug, shopping, sleep, smart, spoiled, thanksgiving, unicorn