How Cold Is It?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  I’m from the south.  We don’t really get that much cold.  But when we do get cold, have mercy on our little souls!  We don’t know how to act in the cold let alone a snowflake.  It’s cold here!  Yesterday morning, it was in the single digits.  Did you read that – S.I.N.G.L.E. digits.  That is unreal.  Mother Nature doesn’t need to be playing these kinds of tricks on us.  My mom, she likes cooler weather but even she wore an actual coat outside yesterday in those single digits.  And by this weekend, they say we will be in a heatwave in the 60’s!  Now that kind of ‘cold’ weather I can deal with.

This little piggy, I don’t like the cold period. Mommy actually opened the back door and wanted me to go outside to use the bathroom like a common piggy and look at nature.  Really mom?  Now you are going to push the issue.  I told her my behinney would freeze off and then late last night I found this picture to the left.  It’s true.  My little behinney would fall off outside in the cool air.  Right?  Daddy laughed at mom.  She told him that she just wanted to show me the ice and how cold it was.  Mom, here’s a heads up.  If I want to see ice, I’ll break into the freezer again in the kitchen, okay.  Okay.

Stay warm my friends!

 

The Great Outdoors – NOT

There are pigs that stay outside all of the time. They stay out in the elements with the heat in the summer and the coolness in the fall. They let nature touch them like dirt, grass, bugs and did I mention the heat? And what about the pollen. Can you say eeww.

Mommy forgets that I’m a PSP (Pampered Spoiled Pig). I don’t do nature. I’m used to the great indoors. I’m used to my own room. I’m used to my toddler bed. I’m used to my television. I’m used to air conditioning. Did I mention that I’m a PSP?

Well mommy got the great idea that she would show me the great outdoors. She thought I would enjoying running loose around our gated backyard. So she calls me to the back door and opens it. She walks outside and calls me. I looked at her, turned around and went back into the front room watching television.

She calls me again. I walked to the back door again and looked at her. I’m trying to send her a telepathic message of, “Moms its hot there. Why?”. I turned around again and went back into the front room.

That mom of mine. She is persistent. Almost as pigheaded as me. She thought she would bribe me with food to come outside. Food always works, right? She called me for a third time. She’s standing outside waving a piece of bread to get my privileged little hooves out in nature. I looked at her. Nah, it wasn’t worth it. I turned around and went back into the from room.

I can’t be the only one like this. I’m sorry. I just don’t do nature. Especially in this 100-102 degree weather. Y’all keep cool.